Indianapolis Times, Indianapolis, Marion County, 9 March 1949 — Page 11

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4 | Inside Indianapolis

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By Ed Sovola Zan

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IT USED TO BE, if you wanted a dog, you'd go out and get a\dog. And you didn't have to check his I. Q. or personality traits, either. It was inevitable that I should think seriously’ of a dog, man’s best friend, after my recent atid unfortunate brushes with models and nurses as a

results of being jilted by my Barbara, who dashed off a few lines Informing me she was getting

married and then dashed off to church with a

. Frank. 5

The world stopped spinning. I spun on my ear. ~~ You remember (sure-you-do)-that the models - at Ayres were either married, engagéd or going steady with men who, on the average, outweighed me by 25 pounds. Nothing elsé to do but leave the area. 7 Another friend, who has a knowledge of the I. U. Medical Center, refused unconditionally to

« introduce mé to,a‘few of the angels of mercy. On.

top of that heaccused me of being:a wolf. That was a bitter pill to swallow. So, during my lonely, sleepless nights, scenes of iy happy childhood flashed before ime. There was Shep, my faithful dog (pedigree unknown), barking at my heels. We were so gay and carefree. No doubt about it, a dog was the solution. 1 slept a little better that night, almost 10 hours. The next morning my attention turned to the latest literature on our canine friends. What was the dog market like these days? Have the new models changed much?

Choose Them Like Women?

_ WHAT'S THAT? “Selecting a dog should be approached almost as carefully as choosing a husband or wife, No matter how appealing a puppy may be it is absolutely essential to appraise the

Buddies . ;-. "Mr. Inside" picks a dog to suit his. personality. His heartache is getting better, friends.

. towards me before I buy him?

quiet and reserved. Often I'm lively, quick. and ‘love action. On occasion I'm easygoing, deliberate

times that I was the life of the party, too.

.has several choices, according to this dog trainer. Ww

breed's characteristics in relationship to’. your! own.” y 7 aC ad ya .

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Them's harsh words; pardner, . : A DT AA “Are you possessive, humorous, sober-minded. Murder on the Sfreefs . . . No. 8 ; ie TR i o reply, you will be pointed toward certain breeds | . : ; WR T - i : 5 2 "3 medirmzmzini Men Struck By Cars Often End happily.” *% - : : “ fi L An q What if you consider yourself an average guy| j ; : ; r : : : > 2 shirts and trousers lying about the apartment, J : RA : : : : iol | i disposed to a Tip-snortin” party on cccaston; steep: Ji OO ie Nn Y a i p- me en U a : oO rgo ; en sil ng a i ! : => A . No : Ca

aristocratic, op psychic? With each affirmative] with average bad habits such. as leaving. a few ing late on Sunday mornings, etc? Don't I get Pn , Picture Story by Victor Peterson, Times Staff Photographer

“If you are strong-willed and inclined to take command of things, you will. be happy with a boxer, doberman pinscher, dachshund, Don’t get a toy dog, poodle, sheep dog, miniature schnauzer.” Why? Who's putting out all this tripe? : : Oh, a noted dog trainer. A dog trainer for 15 years, yet. And she's telling me, “First of all, you|® should take a good, long look in the mirror. If SS you had four legs and a tail, what kind of a dog - would you look like?” : Really, now, madam. s Something new has been developed in the dog business which I don't understand. Since when does a man have to cater to a dog? Since when do I have to do “honest self-appraising” before I pick up a dog? - Since when and how come do 1 have to wait until a puppy vibrites emotionally

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What happened to the good days when a dog! or child didn’t vibrate just rightea parent or owner | vibrated them with a strap and made them get| in tune with the surroundings? It's going to he a cold day in July before I'm vibrating for a puppy. It's bad enough when a guy has to vibrate for his girl or wife. Enough | is enough, I say. 4 i

A Dog's a Dog for All That

“SOMETIMES I'm strong-willed, sometimes I'm”

and lazy. I don’t remember the time I objected to a lit've_been told many

Now, for each of the above categories a man] ;

Then I'm Supposed to get a boxer (strong-willed), ® =: #8 English setter (quiet and reserved), fox ‘terrier

coticer spaniel (iowa wi cline deliasiat eda median), bloodhound (sober and solemn), Russian | : , wolfhound (aristocratic), eh? : pe fai come venio : v

You know what this kid is going to do? I'm walking the streets aimlessly, as 1 have since I received Barbara's letter, and when I meet a dog] that wags his tail and allows me to pat him on] 3 the head and follows me, he's mine. { .1.don’t care whether he’s part Russian WO | gn hound, part Afghan, part boxer, doberman, bull-| Se dog, poodle, mongrel or whether he looks like me. "A dog's a dog, I say. Why, I didn’t have this| much trouble deciding Barbara was the girl of my | heart. t

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Mrs. Clarence. Waldon comforts her husband in General Hospital shortly after Herman Walker, 46, of 601 E. Ohio St., was struck a truck between Wash he underwent a neck operation necessitated from injuries received in a train-car. ington and Market Sts. on Pennsylvania St. Nov. 5. Mr. alker moved cautiously h as he crossed the street..Some 20 years ago he lost his right leg in a mine acci-" e

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| crash Dec. 16. His case is but one of a never-ending stream which flows Jhroug

Sten Up for Rights | By Robert C. Ruark forgotten poeple who suffer jo months because ‘of a traffic mishap.

WASHINGTON, Mar. 9—The biped denizen of this fetid jungle of democracy, where the red tape festoons and a bunch of transients called congressmen run the town, is ‘a remarkably -underprivileged critter, He cannot vote. He cannot fire the mayor, because he has no mayor to fire. He cannot even drink standing up, and that is the

sermon for today. As a iinor taxpayer, I am never going to place my full trust in Congress until its worthy members arrive at one decision: Can the voteless, faceless, feckless dweller in the District of Columbia take a snort on his hind legs, like a grown man, or must he be forever condemned to sedentary sipping, at heavens knows what strain on his moral fiber? 2 This year, the 81st Congress is finally supposed to do something about the ordinance whicn has kept the Washington bibber nailed to a chair since the repeal of the horrid amendment. It is fllegal, in this habitat of the directors of our destiny, for a man to stand at a bar, or .to carry his Scotch and swish-from- one-table to. another.

Result of Old Myth

AN OLD myth about the baleful influence of the corner saloon is responsible for this emphagis on sitting. The old, swingin’'-door grogshop got to be a symbol of drink’s curse, and murderers of Mr. Volstead’'s act were swift to emphasize that they had no wish to revivé the black beast Or the temperance—iectures — pores This was merely lip-service as was the light-wines-and:beer routine with which -we prefaced man’s ageless yen to knock back a noggin of gin prior to his evening chops. But Washington has been stuck with it. In an effort to sweet-talk the borderline abstainers, the periodic teetotalers, the —one-drink holders, eggnog alcoholics and kitchen drinkers, the city of Washington has turned the social sip into.a vile sin—and, incidentally, has bred more

drunks than you ever saw in New York or New, Orjéans. : Evie Regs Sia

The official home of the President; in peace or war, is probably the hardest drinking city in the world. It is a vicious guzziing-town where they sit on the floor and pass the jug from hand to hand. Its social leaders drink Scotch and Coca-

: . : a night a yea d another 18 st.-On- both th ions he al Unhappy Mailman By Frederick C. Othman ot yer io ory Se Tot mien wos Fo & hor

the hospital in the wake of Indianapolis’ "murder on the streets.” He is one of + dent and an artificial leg slowed his progress. Cut down by the truck, he was rushed

"to the hospital with a fractured left leg and pelvis.

Cola, a dietary habit which would affront an Australian aborigine. . 3 They crowd the whisky-serving teashops. The - cheerful cherub who was supposed to be protected against the old saloon now performs the modern equjvalent of rushing the growler by dashing down to the drugstore for a fifth of Old Fairy . = Godmother to help mama get up in the morning. Rear-garden retreats in Georgetown, the home of the brave, beautiful and bodze-bewildered, are raucous with the crash of the hurled bottle and the Martini filibuster. . A man cannot saunter into a bar, here, and order a small infusion of afcohol to help him get home in the raw rain. He must check his hat, find a seat, watch a Moor show, listen to a jukebox, locate a waitress and pant for her retur before he can moisten his throat.

Slave to Straight Snort

BY THE time he has raced through these road- = blocks, he is of a mood to order triple Bourbons with Martini chasers, modern service being as it is, and what started out to be a small beer for the road winds up as a lost weekend. 1 Worse, he shuns the quickie and buys the bottle, which he clutches by the neck until empty. He hides the half-pint in the cloak room, and becomes a slave to the straight snort. +” : The poor lush has no index to the degrée of his intoxication, since he is commanded by federal law .to sit at his table. Any bartender will tell 3 you that a man who Keeps his feet 1s & better judge of his point of no return than the sitting drinker, who is lulled into false security by his chair. i What happens, when he finally lurches from the table, is an uncharted flight straight into the arms of trouble. It is not hard to understand how a man who sits alone and swills-and broods about his=mother-in-law and the incompetence of his public servants will arise ripe for strife with the cops. . There is no place in Washington where a man. may go to embalm his ulcers with a swift slug of’ painkiller. I sure hope Congress does something to lighten the plight of the man who merely wants benign stimulation and shys from the spree. So many of my old friends have stoplights on their noses, now, and I blame it"all on Congress.

b / -— Ae Mah a Herman Wincel, 62, of 1123 S. East St. is in the bed next to Mr, Heck. By’ strange..coincidence. this, toa, is his third tangle with traffic. Two days before. | Christmas he was hit and received a fractured left leg. Four years ago both legs and his pelvis were fractured, And I5 years ago his left leg was fractured in a”

Charles Heck, 55, of 2416 N. Sherman Dr., has had more than he wants of traffic accidents. Now-in the -hospital with a- fractured right leg, a.recalls. distinctly...

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was hit in front of his home.

WASHINGTON, Mar. 9—Maybe the boss mailman should cut down the size of those fancy new postage stamps; that would save considerable licking, glue and paper. Perhaps he should make those postoffice pens last a little longer still, Postmaster General Jesse M. Donaldson; in other words, is in a $540 million jam. He's either got to cut expenses by that amount next year to get out of the red, 'or raise the price of stamps. Mr. Donaldson, the only postmaster general in history who ever shouldered a mail sack, himself, would be in better shape if his best customer weren't a multimillion-dollar dead beat. Meaning the government, itself. It dumps thousands of tons of haby books, treasury checks, tax bills, and congressional letters on the backs of Jesse's hapless postmen, and never buys a stamp. : Under questioning by Rep. Edward H. Jenison of Tlinois, the P. G. said that hauling. Uncle Sam’s correspondence for free cost the taxpayers $76 million per year. Nobody complained about the widows of ex-Presidents, who don't usually

write any extraordinary number of letters, also

getting free postage.

“ But Rep. Chester H. Gross of Pennsylvania

said he feared the Postoffice Department added

to its burdens by writing too many letters of its

own. '

“Just how many copies of a letter have got to be mailed.” he asked, “if a glass in a postoffice zines, money orders and parcel post. His prices

window is broken?" J :

Doesn't Know, for Sure

: THE Postmaster General didn’t know, for sure, Rep. Gross said, counting replies and copies of those, too, a new window pane would result in 16 letters before the putty ever got dry. At 3 bat it is so small that he loses money on every cents each, that's 48 cents lost in stamps per deal. ! window smashed, and how many windows there postoffices of this Jand nobody ever His feet don't hurt so much as his soul, which is -

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This waste, Mr. Donaldson agreed, was horrid. And if Congress kindly would change the law, he, added without so much as a single. gloat, he'd be delighted to authorize his postmasters to buy their own window panes. He said he'd been lambasted for not putting in, more ultra-modern machinery and labor-saving|¥ devices to handle the mails. The trouble is, he |’, said, that nobody yet has invented a device that |* will read a name and address on an envelope. | The department thus has been forced to op- * erate on the theory, he said, that there is no sub-| stitute for the human brain, and the human leg. All these items cost more than they used to, but people still are sending billions of postal cards per! year for a penny each. |

Altogether an Unhappy Mailman

EACH card costs 2.6 cents to manufacture, print and deliver and the better business gets, the more money Mr. Donaldson loses, This, he said, is no way to run a rallroad. | And talking about railroads, whooie! They got a 25 per cent increase from -the Interstate Commerce Commission a while back for hauling the mails and now they're asking for 40 per cent more. That's a total of 65 per cent, the P. G.| said in a tone of voice that indicated he was aghast, § : He wants to raise rates on newspapers, maga-

two-car accident. 3 Te 4

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now are so low for hauling bundles across the land that express companies can't compete and he “finds himself in the freight business. r A good deal of this freight goes C. 0. D,, and then Mr. Donaldson's boys in gray have to act

as bill collectors, too. He charges a fee for’ this .

Robert Harris, .70, of 624 E. Miami St., suffered the typical pedestrian in. Jerry Wildman, 10, of 9041; Ft. Wayne Ave., wants fo You get the idea. He is an unhappy mailman. jury + + «a fractured leg. Struck by a motorcycle, his only comment today is, “I to keep up his morale by a himself if will be only a few | wi front

| were home.” When he will go home is undetermined. Whenever it is, the been Jaying that since struck by a car Jan. 28 in is idea of crossing streets now,” he said. (Tomorrow:

pained the way he's losing money wholesale. _price paid in traffic injury is far too great. : : this idea v3 f rE A Sh x Ea : * ga oti Eh 2

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