Indianapolis Times, Indianapolis, Marion County, 16 February 1949 — Page 13
meeting. sample of my penmanship was in the pile, too. My first and last sample, I don’t’ believe anyone can tell you talk too much by looking at your silly hand-
writing. Hand-writing analysis is supposed to be an excellent tool to find out about people, Mr, Lesh
In his personnel work he said it was invaluable
>
Pon: scratches ... You may have frouble heading your own handwriting but not Dwight
: when he held up a sample to the audience and
find a wife from samples of penmanship. surprised girl timidly asked if the handwriting showed any other aptitude besides those for a married woman. Mr. Lesh begged mercy. About the most surprising revelation came
sald it was rare. The writer was supposed to have a genius for ideas. The writer was also very creative, imaginative and had the ability to get into hot water. When the fellow’s name was mentioned, I dropped my pencil and paper. It so happened that Mr. Lesh was speaking of a young man who was in college at the same time I was in dear old Bloomington. ‘He was editor of the campus magazine and some of his creative ideas were so striking the magazine was banned. Not because the students didn’t like it, understand, the school authorities were the ones who objected. Oh, he was clever, all right. : Anyway, in general, people who make angular Jetters are the active ones, People who make their letters round and careful are easy going. A big upper loop on a “d” indicates a gift of gab. Anyone who crosses a “t” by slashing is quick with the temper. That's what Mr. Lesh said and after all the shots he called, I'm sitting up and taking notice when he talks. “your handwriting doesn’t indicate you'll ever make a million,” Mr. Lesh said, “and please don’t ask me again.” “Oh, nuts,” I sald and left. From now on I'm making the loops on my “d's” small ‘and that will make me keep my trap shut. I'll show him.
NEW YORK, Feb, 16—Some peculiar brand of guilt-complex, deep-rooted in the city slicker who has achieved success at his pitch, drives him ever backward to the good earth. He yearns to be a hayshaker. He contemplates his furbished fingernails and winces at the absence of topsoil in their rims. The very second a man strikes a degree of success which will enable him to sleep late in the morning, he takes down with a tumultuous wrench of the conscience, and suckers forth to buy a farm. A recent bulletin from a columnar heighbor, ersatz-farmer Fred Othman, wistfully describes his plight as prices sag on farm produce. Mr. Othman, a wishful profiteer, had some wild idea about supplementing his princely income with derivatives of the soil. He is currently caught with his tractor down, while the livestock eats him out of house and syndication. _Bpill few tears for Freddy, a homespun youth whose last 25 summers have been spent in the quaint prairies of Washington, Hollywood, Chicago, St. Louis and Denver, The closest he ever got to a cow, previously, was when he interviewed the winner of a condensed milk contest at Atlantic City. He should have recalléd the axiom that most newspapermen are totally unfit for two things—fnancial speculation and any form of practical exercise, such as farming.
Trapped by Verdant Thumb BUT the siren béckon of the verdant thumb always traps them. H. Allen Smith sits on a’ hill in Westchester, fighting a ceaseless battle with the cutworms, and considers himself lucky when he can allocate half-an-hour to the typewriter. The proceeds of this toil he invests in bug-killer, to preserve his collard patch. Jimmy Street, once a prodigious performer at the Underwood, and at’ also the bar, now slinks cold sober about thie suburbs of Chapel Hill, N. C,, fretting over fertilizer and midwifing pigs. And this the man who once took a taxi from New York to Denver, because he felt the urge for a Colorado steak. Took the taxi back, too. Thesé journalistic throwbacks to the hoe believe they can no Fer be Happy in the city,
Dizzy Figures
Slick Hayshakers
By Robert C. Ruark
once they've eluded the iron hand of wages-and-hours. They yearn to stand feflock-high in barn. yard accumulation, with a spraygun in one fist and a sick sheep in the other. They crave to play slave to the seed catalog, and they purchase bulldozers when once they bought bourbon. Having cursed early rising all their lives, they now. pant for the opportunity to creep out of the sheets in the dank black morning, to slop the hogs and stoke the chickens. Eventually they work twice as hard at their hobby as at the job which supplies the pure platinum hay; and suddenly discover they must plow the typewriter overtime to keep the hogs in diamond-cut swill. The finally lose their health, frazzle their nerves, and wind up slugging straight applejack behind the barn. -
Remember, They All Eat
NO CITY-BRED man can possibly compute] weatherwise,
the hazards of betting against God, or estimate the encompassing stupidity of all farm animals. Nothing is so nastily vindictive as’ weather, when the mortgage flaps in the breeze. As one vicarious farming-friend of mine will attest, the blueblooded pigs will eat the tarpaper off their pen, and die. Snow will crush the sheepfold, and will also crush the sheep. Foxes get the geese, and the chickens turn cannibal and eat their own eggs. Baby chicks stride happily and stupidly into the furnace of the brooder, to boil ‘themselves with. the down still on... Turkeys drink rain, and drown. And as Mr. Smith puts it, the larks are forever at the popcorn. When 1 have occasionally been tempted to return to agitate the earth, I always knock myself out of the mood with two axioms. One is Billy Rose's. ' ! “Never buy anything that eats,” Billy says. The other pearl comes from Miss Ruth Borden, who also writes for a living.
in, Slee
Winter golfing has its points saved this ball from disappearing in the South Grove lagoon.
r 3
Finds Police U
call a wrecker, a suggestion] which the irate motorist brushed aside as “too expensive.” A few minutes later the mo-
“Never get into any business where you have
to outguess God,” she says. “The percentage is Jack Small
always riding with Him.”
If that weren't enough, I might say that as ture and I'm stuck out here,” he
torist again called Police Lt.
“I'm a member of the legisla-
a Yormer country kid, I now do my very best | said. “Get someone out to pull
sleeping just before noon.
WASHINGTON, Feb, 16—Statistics, as I think 1 can prove in a minute, aren't so dull when they cost you money. There's something fascinating about ‘em. Morbid, maybe. Herbert Hoover figures that eur government is costirig us $3 billion a year too much. Says it's too doggone big and stepping all over its pwn feet. His figures are startling, even to a Washingtonian, like me. Listen: He has counted 1816 different government pureaus, each with its own boss, and staff of experts, investigators and stenographers. Just to list these outfits and describe briefly what they're supposed to do takes 722 closély printed pages in the U. 8. Government Manual, a volume that nobody has fead from cover to cover except Mr. Hoover. ' These outfits pay wages twice a month to 2,002,180 ' people, more than the population of Philadelphia and fost of its suburbs. Most of the $45 billion the government spends a year goes into their paychecks. :
Federal Buildings Dot Nation THEY WORK in nine departments, 104 bureaus, 12 sections, 108 services, 51 branches, 460 offices, 831 divisions, 19 administrations, six agencies, 16 areas, 40 boards, six commands, 20 commissions, 19 corporations, five groups, 10 headquarters, 20 units, three authorities, and 263 outfits Mr. Hoover regretfully Has to call miscellaneous, There are more than 5000 government buildings across the country, not including the Army's or the Post Office Department's, which owns or leases 24.535 different structures, each equipped with pens the Postmaster General insists will write, : All government workers, of course, file reports and write their letters In triplicate. That's why the government has $154 million worth of filing
The Quiz Master
In salt content, how does the Red Sea compare with the oceans? ” Taking oceans as a whole, the Atlantic saltier than the bi
is Indian Ocean or the
salt
cabinets cramming 18 million sguare Teet of space that probably could be used for something better. Some of these records, aren't typed; they're printed. The Government Printing Office turned out 14 billion books and booklets last year and turned in a bill of $47.5 million. But that still wasn't enough. Other government bureaus operate 133 more printing plants of their own and 256 duplicating bureaus, which cost us $25 million more. The government runs the world’s biggest banking business; sometimes. it charges interest on the money and sometimes it doesn’t. It now has out
on loan $12 billion and has insured the repayment of $7 billion more; including one small loan to a juke-box factory.
Has $27 Billion in Supplies
IN THE PAST 30 years it has spent more than $30 billion Improving rivers, roads and other transportation facilities; this year it will spend $1.2 billion on the same items and $1 billion more for just moving its own stuff around. It now owns $27 billion worth of supplies, including time clocks, silver. filger bowls for admirals, rolls of red tape by the hundreds of gross, and skirts with the new look for WACs. On the roads of the nation it has one million automobiles and hg kicking up dust, y federal agencies have more than employees who do nothing except add up ag they are called statisticians. Mr. Hoover took a close look at one single burea
conservation in the Department of Agricul discovered that it had 11.866 employees. It has seven regional, p territorial and 48
With Mar, . 15 rapidly
22? Test Your Skill 27?
What is considered to be the most famous painting in existence? : The Mona Liss painted by Leonards da Vinél. It is » wonderful example of the work of ons of
approaching, there's
to analyse and explain the
Jim § vit #
me out.” ,
-,
be Sal repeated the
legislature.” . About that time the lieutenant got curious about how the “legislator” got under the overhead, which had been barricaded 24 hours. He asked and the motor. ist replied: “Yes, there was a barricade there but I drove on in. I'm a member of the legislature and I want to get out.” Lt. Small suggested that the man either hire a wrecker or walk the rest of the way to the State House and that he henceforth show more respect for police- barricades,
yr
Fires Damage
Two Residences
Early ‘morning fires damaged two residences here today. Fire of unknown origin gutted the interior of the home of Maggie Lane, 1351 Henry St, at 3 a. m. Firemen said there was no one home at the four-room, one-story dwelling when the blaze started. There was no estimate of damage. A blaze which started in the basement caused heavy smoke damage to a. double occupied by Miles A. Nelson and Martin Drew, 4760-71 Park Ave, at 1a m
AWOL Soldiers Face Dyer Act Charges
Two 18-year-old AWOL soldiers were~heid In Marion County jall undef $2500 bond today, charged with violation of the Dyer Act. The youths, Edward L. Frye were’ brought
i ae 5 ’ 3 4
most men of all history. The fascl-la stolen automobile from Ft. ‘ation of the face has led to inny sttempts|Knox, Ky, to their. hemes in while AWOR}
To Draw 1200
¥
Ition that he allow a wrecker to;
By Frederick: C.-Othman>, ied and the motorist relt-iasfliua) Jefferson - Jackson Day
Ihim with a vagrancy.
Legislator "Stuck in Mud,’
» nco-operative Strong-Arm Tactics Fail to Move of Dispatcher, Advises He Call Wrecker
A marooned motorist ‘who tried -to “throw his weight around” this morning found that membership in the State Legislature is no “open seasame” with police dispatchers. The motorist called in to report he was stalled in water at the Pennsylvania Railroad underhead on 8. Emerson Ave. dispatched to the scene were unable to help him and suggested he
Deputies
Democrat Fete
Hoosier. Democrats today were preparing for more than 1200
{dinner to be held Feb. 26 In {Murat Temple. The annual affair Is given un{der the auspices of the Indiana
{mittee, as part of a party na{tional observance. | A committee of representatives from 11 congressional - districts {will issue formal pledge cards to |groups in all counties, who will distribute them to their com-| imunities. Pledge cards will be redeemed for dinner invitations. |
| The district committee is com- | iposed of representatives Bartell] |Zandstra, William Shaw, Frank, |Bruggner, Robert Riddle, Raiph| Ferguson, Ralph E. Tucker, Tom | L. Lemon, L. B. Stewart, William (Hillenbrand, Russell Wise and Walter Myers Jr, | Besides Ira Haymaker, central) {committee chairman, the execu-| tive committee is composed of Mrs. Harold Ware, Frank M. Me(Hale, national Democratic comimitteeman, Mrs. Samuel Ralston, Frank McKinney and John Hurt. Jap Jones is general chairman in charge of arrangements.
Gl’s Right Cross Thwarts Holdup
A soldier on leave from an Armiy hospital thwarted a holdup attempt late hard wight to the jaw of his assailant and held him until police arrived. . Pvt. Joe - M.’ Henderson, 23, Percy Jones Hospital, Battle Creek, Mich., told police the man accosted him in the 300 block N. Illinois St. and demanded “How much money have you got?”
« vs Mr, Pollak smiles because ice
delegates’ expected to Etténd the]
Democratic State Central Com-|
yesterday with all
ool Winter Gol
Photos by Bob Wallace, Times' Staff Photographer. :
Clayton Nichols, former city prepares to get up and meet
~—4#-has-its-drawbacks. form on his drive at the 11
And then at last,
golfing yarns.
there is the 19th hole.
de VRE
#5
fers
ployment at the bank.
Four chilled, but brave, golfers ise up the situation on a Bult Left to right, Mike Pollak, Mr. Nichols, John Hunter and Bol Crouch. Mr. Crouch is betting the il,
Lf
turf will deflect the
W
Toller Held
$5000 bond today on a charge of embezzling $6050 of Merchants
{National Bank funds here.
Mrs, Helen J, McCord, 3602 N, Capitol Ave. .was arrested yes. terday by federal agents follow. ing a report of bank officials that an unexplained shortage had appeared In accounts at her cage at the Massachusetts Ave. bran
About four years ago, she authorities, she started taking money from the bank for the sup port of relatives taken into her
+ + In this case, it's the clubhouse basement where Bill Russell, professional; Fred Burn. | side and Chuck Hess warm their toes, dry’ their shoes and swap |
Mostly About Peopl
e
If there are gray hairs on the| But, she said, “'n consider
head of Police Lt. Arthur Hueber, here's one of the reasons: An excited man © called the police station the other night and with no explanatory preface demanded: “Send apoliceman, send a police 7 man right away | to my place.” . “Where are you?” the lieutenant broke in. “What does it matter where
Lt. Hueber
Mary Cook, 29, ‘ap attractive
meant every word of ' her Valentine letter to Mayor William O'Dwyer of New York asking for a “nice blond American husband.”
Miss Cook, Who doesn’t look as
right cross. i Police sent the man to General Hospital for repairs and charged
though she would need anybody's
help in finding a husband, admitted she sent two
| pttal
seriously any offers I get.” | Richard Edward Brame, 24, of {Baytown, Tex., who masqueraded {dinal star, here last week, has admitted passing seven bad
Earl Wetzel sald today. Brame arrived here last week | and signed a hotel ‘register’ as “Stan Musial.” He was Inter viewed, photographed and invited to speak at. the Veterans Hos-
Brame was unmasked when the hotel Became suspicious and an employee heard him and his companions discussing the hoax, n
Legion Will Ask lke To Dedicate New Home | Gep. Dwight D. Eisenhower will be asked to officiate at the dedication of the new American Legion national building here May
headquarters 5, it was an-
Mrs. McCord waived prelim. inary hearing before VU. 8. Come missioner Francis M. Hughes and was bound over to Federal Court for arraignment.
In Car Theft Spree
A I5-year-old Onlds, B.D. youth was held by Indianapolis police today after a series of
‘las Stan Musial, St. Louls Car-automoblle thefts here and in
Trafalgar, Ind.. The youth was arrested in
car. He was returned
mu at She ue dovin’ help, shor
teller was held by the FBI under
NERS PAG
told
home because of fliness, “4s
checks in Texas, Chief of Police prankiin yesterday in a stolen '
a