Indianapolis Times, Indianapolis, Marion County, 21 December 1948 — Page 15
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By Ed Sovola
Va
‘EVERY HOUSEWIFE should have an escala-
tor in her home. Don't get excited, Pop.
The above thought has nothing much to do with what follows except that I have escalators on my mind today and suddenly they seemed to be such aPnice thing for the lady of the house. Just
a fhought , Which I'm sure’ will be appreciated. You can't’ buy home models, you know, Now, with a sincere hope that Mama and Papa
~ &ren’t arguing over how many tinies she walks
up and down. the stairs and how tired she is an needs a vacation or an escalator, I proceed. Essentially, escalators are not playthings and should not be used as such. Of course, there are exceptions to the. rule, such as my venture, for scientific reasons. It was brought to my attention that a great
' many escalator riders have been wondering how
it would feel to cavort on the moving stairs.
We all know that we can’t have an appreciable number of the ¢ify’s population cavorting on escalators in a mood of gay abandon. No one would have any fun in a situation’ such as that and dollars to doughnuts somebody would call the cops. But, since in my, possession is a press pass,
«..escalator-cavorting was a relatively simple matter
to arrange with people in high laces Whe. are next -to--people-in-high places. How Does It Feel? Funny
I'M riding an escalator backwards, forwards. up when it's going down, down when it's going up
Every way but down . . . escalators can get your feet tangled,
and generally coming closer to being a clown than - a scientist, SECOND SECTION How does it feel to go down an escalator when, it's coming up? Funny, You feel like a mouse on
a tréadmill in a pet shop.
sisi Hoosiers ‘Buy’ Share Of Christmas t Times Mile-O-Dimes
get to feeling as if someone else should be walking on them. It's the best example of going nowhere I can give you,
"It took 12 seconds to go from one floor to the H: a 1 ness other on a short section. The short sections ayally;
aré between floors other than the first to th sec-|
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he Indianapolis Times
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TUESDAY, DECEMBER 21, 1048 - _
Aa De LS.
PAGE 15
ond in case your haven't paid any nen Going up when the escalator is going down is! slightly less confusing and it's easier to beat the machine: |
Time is growing short. Cliristinas and all - “its joy almost is here. For many happiness only
The kind-hearted shown here did not ask
for publicity. The unsuspecting contributors to 24 hours a day.
42 of the American Legion who man the “Mile”
. that elderly people who wear bifocals not ride]
\ - elderly people.
By that I mean traversing a given distance! which is moving continually in the opposite direction you are, If I knew a little more about physics I Gould really make up a new kind of a law. Anyway, it tqok 10 seconds to cover the distance and it should be noted that there was still time to look around and call to some of the sales people, “Look, no hands.” { > To the impatient souls who think escalators " ERT Sd travel too slow, this: Tt take§ 28 seconds to travel) SS a from one floor to the other without any effort. By running, seven seconds. That's up. By running ® with the escalator down, 4 seconds. Going down backwards -on.an escalator which is coming up is probably the hardest other than standing on one’s head and jumping rope while it is in motion. The elapsed time for going backwards on a forward or up escalator is 38 seconds. And when you're through you have a clear picture of what he expression “His feet don’t track” means.
Many and Divers Reasons. THERE are a variety of reasons for this. First, you're probably defying some law of motion. Second, it doesn’t take much to get your feet confused. Third (this has some validity), escalator steps are not in the same proportion as the steps in your home. When the proportion is out of kilter, walking becomes very difficult. No doubt you've ex-| perienced ‘such a sensatiofi on the odd-sized stairs »f public buildings and the like. % It may surprise you to know that escalators = 3 have it-all over elevators as far as volume goes: § Here's another illustration of the turtle and hare story, too. An escalator, traveling 90 feet a minute, || can handle 8000 customers an hour. The elevator traveling at 500 feet 4 minute, handles not too many over 300 persons an hour, It's generally conceded among those who are| interested in such matters, that the modern department store couldn't operate without éscalators.| Speaking of safety, escalator men recommend
otherwise would not share
escalators. The rate of mishaps is higher with, Take my word for it, the best way to ride; escalators is the conventional way. It's much easier on the ticker. Now, off to make my feet track.
Vienna Kaput
VIENNA, Dec. 21—Viennss heart no longer beats in three-quarter time: In the night clubs -of this city where Johann Strauss gave the world his waltzes, cooch dancers writhe, and brassy singers give out jive chants like “hubba, hubba.” They pronounce it: “Habba, habba.” Faded boulevardiers blame the war for twisting the ‘traditional sentimental gajety of this city of wine and roses into these m n forms. “Vienna kaput,” they tell anyorn& who will buy them a glass of wine. But considering that it is the occupied capital of a defeated nation there seems very little “kaput”’—finished—about Vienna. War damage is hardly apparent. People are eating better than m many places of Europe. If Russia would quit draining the production of the Eastern provinces, life would not be too different from pre-war days,
OK for Tourists, Not Gls
AS FOR THE forgotten ‘wailtzes—night chub owners shrug and say that waltzes are all right for tourists, but hardly the stuff to feed the soldiers who make up so much of their clientele now. Instead they hire lovely Hungarian dancers, who apparently fled their Russian-dominated country in stich haste that they forgot their brassieres. This Hungarian refugee invasion is one of the features of Austrian life today. They have been crossing the border secretly in considerable num‘bers for months. They have a thriving community of their own at Salzburg.
Those who stop off in Vienna include a heavy percentage of cabaret dancers, all of whom. talk volubly about the horrors of life under the Soviet thumb, but never get very specific about it. One surprise to the visitor who remembers Vienna's pre-war reputation is the shortage: of
Taxicabs Multiply the Charge |
2 i {
‘By Robert Musel |
pretty girls on the boulevards. No one seems to be able to explain the genéral dowdiness of Aus-/ trian girls now. But Viennese admit reluctantly, that most of the chic women here now are Hun={ garian refugees. The Viennese blatk market is not as all enibracing as that of Berlin, but it operates on: a large scale just the same. Black prices are Miropping steadily, however, as more and more £d -goods reach shops -through regular channels. i Already Austrians get a pound and one-fourth of “meat a week, plenty of bread, exquisite pastries and adequate vegetables. Only dairy products still} are really scarce, The shops are filled ‘with excellent leather goods, French perfume and other luxury items. Considerable war damage has been repaired. Noteworthy was the reopening Sunday of the great cathedral’ of St. Stephen, the interior. of f° which ‘was wrecked by German 8. 8. troops who! used it for a motor pool.
BUSINESSMEN are heartened by the fact, that the Austrian schilling is gaining in stability. A year ago it was 100 to the dollar on the black] market. Now it is 35 to 40 but taxicabs long ago despaired of keeping up with currency fluctuations. | They keep their meters the same and then multiply. Today a ride costs six times the metered oe. : | Like Berliners, the Viennese are ready to; blame everything on the Russians. But their dislike for the Soviet soldier is much less sweeping. The (Russians here have been well behaved, in. general. But they have left thelr mark. For example, on the dimpled bottoms of the famous sculptured cupids of the Baroque Palace of Prince Kinskey, where the Cogsacks carved a Russian version of "Kilroy was here.” h
Achoo to You—
—1 "Shoot the works,"
“By Fradhurick- c Othman.
WASHINGTON, Dec. 21-It is the considered opinion of our government, which manages to Keep busy in a number of wondrous ways, that no man should be expected to blow his nose with a handkerchief less than 16 inches square. ~The féderals don’t mean oblong, either.. Anybody who -folds--a narrow, _longer-than-it-is-wide
handkerchief and sells it for squitre to a man with
a cold is, in the judgment of the government nosewiping specialists, a cheat and should be dealt
“Hwith severely.”
~+Wemen are different; What-they use for hand.
is beyond all understanding and Uncle Samuel,
Who 18° wiser than some people think, is Keeping
his ‘nose strictly out of the feminine "kefehief measuring department. So it is that upon Jan. 5 at 10 a. m., the manufacturers, distributors, retailers, yep, and users of Patdketrchiefs will’ gathier ii a paneled chamber of the Federal Trade Commission .to work out rules of fair trade ‘practices for the handkerchief industry. Here complaints will be in order and I shall be there. Last batch of handkerchiefs IT bought turned my nose red by rubbing off the skin on the end of it, I think they were made of old rope, bleached.
Strictly Against the law THIS would be strictly against the law, as the commissioners’ recommendations for handkerchief standards prevail. They urge that if a handkerchief is made of cotton, rayon, silk, linen, wool, reprocessed wool, or reused wool, the label shall say so. I never heard of a reprocessed wool handkerchief, or even a plain wool one, but who am 1 to question the wisdom of the gentlemen who would protect my proboscis by law from substandard handkerchiefs?
“whatever inthe beaks of their fellow men. ~Thet. ~rules are designed. to. take care of them. kerchiefs, mostly lace and’ the smaller the bétter,
So, Made. in Belgium, Aye?-
Do not, fellow taxpayers, leap to the eoncivnion) that your government is-embarking on any-trivial; enterprise. Everybody, practically, owns a. handkerchief: This year $110 million worth of hand-| kerchiefs have been sold to the ultimate con-. sumers, and, at two for a quarter, that's a lot of! yardage. The evidence, then, would seem ‘to indicate that the mighty hahdkenchief “industry has been| plagued by a few flim-flammers, with no interest
Uitléss théir “legal counsel oan persuads the commissioners otherwise they'll not be allowed to,
“hold phony safes on-handkerchiefs:—Nor-ecan- “they ik
sell below cost to drive the Fellow Hest AOOr SUL) ‘of the handkerchief game.
THEY will not;be allowed to make false claims about the scratchy qualities of their competitors’) handkerchiefs. If they make their handkerchiefs! in Brooklyn, they can't claim they were hemmed | in Belgium. They can’t use handkerchiefs as loss leaders to] get people into their stores and maybe sell ‘em | overcoats. There are a few other things they also can’t do and that brings us to the reprehensible] ones who have heen cutting down on the size of | their handkerchiefs. They stil can do this, you understand, but they've got to sell these midget handkerchiefs to women. Any square of cloth they label “man’s| handkerchief * must measure at least 16 inches in both directions. And this, mind you, after it's hemmed; not before. — +As for the hems, if these are labeled hand-| rolled, then by all the sovereign power of the! ost ly A 0 U. 8. A, let ‘em hire human rollers to roll ‘em by
hand.
Ind. «so. 0ut- of town donor.
| ‘will come through the generosity of others. '. ‘The Indianapolis Times Mile-O-Dimes is dedicated to bring this happiness to those who in a merry Christ-
| Fireman Robert Princell holds the paclages of Mrs. A. M. Carnine, 665 ‘Middle Drive, while she hunts_a- dime. :
said James Flan &gan
the Mile-O-Dimes were caught by the candid camera as they dug into purses and pocketbooks for dimes. Equally as generous as the contributors are the uniformed members of Firemen's Post No.
Picture-Story by Victor Peterson
wy,
Blvd. raachus for hes purse.
> rr
M10
as he handed Firaman Mrs. RC. Martz, tos trode
WwW. D. Creel, Charlottsville, Harry Johnson, 1907 N. Delaware St., gives for himself ‘and his Janice feonter] and Jean McClanahan, 2409 Waller Ave., with
Mrs. Nellie lie Sutter,
wife to Fireman Charles Grubb.
ut People (Church to Present Yule: Table Filled
Choir in Cantata | Christmas dinner worries have
Achoo. There are at least two people |
in the Marion County Courthouse |
The Quiz Master
23 i building who always give the : “custo ”" service with ile, P77 Test Your Skill : P7?| nies servion with 3 souls. and Mrs. Bernice Katzenberger,
Where was the first state agricultural experiment station established in this country? The first staté agricultural experiment station was established at Wesleyalf University at Middletown, Conn, in 1875. Prof. William O. Atwater was made the first director of the station. > & & * How many queens have ruled France? < France has never had a i queen. * % 9 .. What became of Carlotta, Empress of. Mexico, affer her husband's death? : S After the end of the empire and Maxirhilian’s
“execution; whe became totally insane and lived out...
# long life in seclusion in Belgium, where she died in 1927. > {
ry
4 : the hard working team serving! How many violins were made by Stradivarius?|., Public in the County Commis- |
The number of violins made by Stradivarius sioner's has been estimated from 1000 to 3000. Experts oh report that there are at least $25 Stradivarius vio-|_ " Nlougn “constant wr a
lins in existence. JE wn to snap out.an answer in reply to a citizen's request for advice and ala. ’
> o @ What percentage of families have asked for return of war dead of World War II? The Army gets requests for return of war dead Mrs. W. T Anderson, postmisfrom two-thirds of the families who write in for tyeeq at Noel, Va. said today her information; The other third asks for final burial (annual deluge of Christmas mail overseas, ! was twice as tough té6 handle as
> + * the Yuletide burd h Between what countries was thé Battle of Tra«| pout offen. The Portark =
falgar fought? ~ in oaus battle, for which a Londen square, TT "Trials," she groaned. ' «| was named, was fought. hetueoen] snd on the TK deep that Wouldn't stay dead]
one side and France and Spein oh the other, JAmaught-a-120 flat voday dot for John’
A od 3 : | .
(his way to work. He stabbed the Dudley. Buck's
The Meridian Street Methodist passed Mr 2Jostpiiine Bene : Moskal, 40 of Lockwood, O. Mos-|Church will present the choir in er: 1 orado. Ave {kal found a wounded deer while on P tat “Phe has been named grand winner of faniaia, the Christmas contest on the |deer with a pocket knife and put [Coming of the King” tomorrow wiBc “Both Our Houses” prothe animal in the trunk of his car. {at 8 p. m. in the church's tempo- gram. A Webber freezer filled Several hours later the deer re- rary "quarters, 51st and Central| with Kingan & Co. food and |vived and kicked its way out of Capitol Distributing Co. Honor [the trunk. Moskal was fined for | Mi a Lisora Chumrins will di —— - lillegal huntin ' ; 8: r . ’ 8 » x 'rect the singing and Mrs, Dor- Plan Distribution Fritz Thyssen onse close asso- Othy Knight Greéne will play the ciate of Adolf Hitler, who broke Organ accompaniments. Dr. Lo- of Scout ‘Calendars with the Nazis dufing the war, 82n Hall is the Jasor, | Boy Scouts of the Central. In-| was disclosed to be living incog- promt " {diana Council will agin Sit ibe nito in a $20-a-day suite in the (tion of about 12, specia Yi Astoria Hotel m Brussels, Dip i in Hog Crop Seen Scout caléhdars Thursday. WASHINGTON, Dec. 21 (UP)
The first copy will be presented Dr. Glenn i Janking. dean |The Agriculture Department to Mayor" ceney at 9 a. ’m. on of Purdue University’s School of today forecast a spring hog drop the first diy of distribution. Pharmacy, was. elected to the lof 56.500,000 head, about 3,500, {presidency of fhe American Phar-/000 less than the government scene painted by Norman Rock-| /maceutical tion last week. asked. farme He will be installed as president |thel the at THe ARNUAT ARsociation” og
in Jacksonville, Fla, in April
These are the type of people who want others to have their share of happiness. There, are many in Indianapolis « +.» & warm-hearted
The Li) face of Mrs. J, 6. Watkins 528 E 59th St. (left), exemplifies the spirit of giving.
All oy, bearing a Scout all-J to raise. Never-| well of the Saturday Evening un be: homes
, 1853 Orleans St RT
By ‘Little Things’
Brand products will be presented to her Wednesday. Women wrote about “the little ; things” men have done for them, & with daily winners Seotiing Lo orchids from Bertermann gaa © Co.- Mrs. Bchreiber's winning letter told about her pie pawning his watch fo buy her a, gr wedding ring. a 4
Mrs. Mary hostess to “Both Our Houses,” assisted by Barry Lake. judges were Mrs. Richard [(Mrs. R. F. D.) of TE , ey Filomena Gould, the News, and Mrs. Manners, The Times. iD