Indianapolis Times, Indianapolis, Marion County, 9 December 1948 — Page 27

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4

Inside Indianapolis

By Ed Sovola

MAY THE WAVES in, Gorgeous George's hair-do straighten gut and never respond to the curling iron, Toni, Hugo's fingers and a blond rinse. | : the gods who control hangnails and ingrown toenails send Gorgeous George a year's supply. May the wrestler, and I use the term loosely,

"who threw me out of his dressing room together

with my Hmburger cheese sandwich, a bunch of onions and a bottle of 10-cent perfume get hooked into a 15-year contract in Lower Slobbovia. Boy, did ‘that marcelied groan and -grunter make’ me mad. . As a member of the fourth estate, that great fraternity of typewriter pushers who meet so “many interesting people,” naturally I was curious when I literally got wind that the “Toast from the Coast” was heading this way. This I gotta see,

“Since ail “the preliminary ballyhoo about

Gorgeous indicated that in his presence I should

smell ke a lily, I forgot about it. To the already present odor that is my very own blend, I added onions and limburger cheese, Especially for Gorgeous (bearing gifts is an old custom) I got the crummiest bottle of dime perfume I could find. The vial was gift-wrapped in heavy oil paper. The Armory was packed. It was a sellout. I wasn't the only one who'was just a wee bit curious and that thought made me feel a lot better, I'll

" tell you. So, with my carte blanche (press pass)

in full view, my plain-smelling shoes turned into the alley toward the back door of the Armory.

Looking for Blond Hair

SEVERAL MINIONS on several doors and gates stood between me and Gorgeous George. The

. and Gorgeous George tosses out

Begone . . loaded with limburger cheese,

a scribe who came

"onions and cheap perfume.

Nick’s Nix List

NEW YORK, Dec. 9—I haye been doing my Christmas shopping early, and this is just a warning note to Mr. Claus. The first reindeer to set a spatulate hoof on my hearth, with the following items, gets a load of buckshot right in the kisser. That goes for his driver, too. You can skip me on’ the sugar plums, and 1 won't scream, but put a toothbrush timer ($1.35) in my sock, and I'll sie. T don’t care if it is “Timothy, a clever little clown, to help you while he’s upside down. If you brush hard while he’s on his head, your job is done when his cheeks get red.” * This applies equally to the original tooth garage, “a sane, sanitary, safe parking-place for false teeth . . . acclaimed by the United Press in a feature story (copy of story accompanies every order). Can be filled with water . . . airholes for ventilation.” I don’t care if it was acclaimed by G. Bernard Shaw, where I park my teeth is my own business, and I don’t want one. Not even for $2.50 prepaid.

Send It fo the Russians

IT'S BEEN a rough year, but I think I can stagger into 1940 without a Brodi, “a tiny ones armed bandit two inches square that rolls up the cherries and lemons just like the big slot machines . . . complete with win-chart indicating pay-off odds.” Keep it, lose it. Send it to the Russians. Just don’t-give it to me. . All my life I've been hiding my loose $1000 bills in the mattress, 80 you -can-pass on the juke box coin bank, which “looks exactly like a real juke

box; and -plays-a- ively. litte tute every time a

coin is put in slot.” That indorsement alone would” kill it for me. If we get one more musical hunk -of plumbing in this house, I am going to elope

with a Swiss bell-ringer, and blame it all on Santa.

As a steady practice, I always smoke three or four pipes of opium before retiring, so I will hard1y need the “two-in-one radio bed lamp” to put me to sleep. y ; . . Drift off to dreamland with a lullaby, yet! Who’ ean sleep with bebop going in his ear? Oh, Mister Kringle, please don't bring me no

and hoisted me out the door in such-a way that

; faint sound of a spray.

“with Inftfals “of “them; too. Don’t ¢rave any per-

“shove a 50-caliber machine gin in my sock. I got i date fn the afternoon” with some gift -manas|"-

limburger and the onfons came in handy as did

ba.

e Indianapolis

Times

ppp hg

my glibness of tongue and swiftness of foot. The place was swarming with men in trunks, bulging muscles and caulifiower ears. There were men with black hair, straight hair, no hair, brown Hale oily hair but no blond, wavy and perfumed r,

“Where is Gorgeous George's dressing room?” I asked one husky who was ventilating the room by flexing his biceps and flapping his battered hunks of cartilage called ears. : His answer was a vicious growl which wasn't “Can't you speak, my good man?” You know, Tm lucky to have the usé of my arms and legs. guy never did give me any information about rge's location. It was evident he didn't care. The last door of the long line of doors was closed. That's where I' thumped the lumber not

“nore than three times before.the door.was opened...

by a déadpan in a monkey suit. Before he could open his yap my mission was explained and I was pushing my way into the room. . A low voice instructed Hugo to “allow the newspaper fellow to come in.” A bunch of hams, was my first reaction. Nothing but showmanship and ballyhoo. I almost popped off to the. effect that| both of them should be in vaudeville. Possibly a minstrél show with some cure-all as the featured product. The blond hair on top of a strong head which is attached ‘to a bull neck which in turn is attached to some rather broad shoulders doesn’t fool one into making silly statements. Not if a bloke has any sense at all. Gorgeous, despite all the perfume and finger-waving, is still a rugged hunk of man. Hugo went about his business of finishing spraying the dressing room with some sweetsmelling junk. His master’s wrestling clothes for the evening were laid out. They almost laid me out, too. Oh, brother, gold sequins on black velvet.| . “Look, Mac ..." “George, if you please.” Didn't quite get away with the informality. George seemed to be irritated when he was asked if he “really” went for all the perfume and hairdyeing and show. :

Unawed by Onions

HE SHOWED marked petulance when I answered my own question for him. Hugo directed his spray gun at me as directed by Gorgeous. That was a signal to fight. George unwrapped my gift perfume and shouted he used Chanel No. 5 “Hugo, remove this vile stuff,” cried Gorgeous, making a move toward me. “No you don’t” I shouted, whipping out my bunch of onions and taking a bite of my limburger Yes, he did. He grabbed me by neck and limb one did not have the slightest doubt that it could be done again. Only the next time the door might not be open. The last I heard was a stern, “Hugo!” and the

1 hope someone pushes his. golden locks all over his face. And smears limburger under his nose. Someone bigger than yours truly. I

By Robert C. Ruark

electrically heated footwariner tonly $34.50), please don’t fetch me no musical milk mug (only $5.95).| Please cease and desist from bestowing a musical bar that looks like a bowling ball (only $19.95) or a 59-cent hen who lays a jelly bean when you turn the crank. If all you have for my tree is a sure-grip ice-tong’ or a cast-iron white rabbit, just eluck to Dancer and Prancer and keep a-going. And I don't care where. My life is lean, sure, but I can be happy for another year without a time-o-phone, which is “a Swiss watch that fits over the center of the telephone dial, has a luminous dial, a sweep Secondhand, and if you keep your eye on it, your telephone bills will be a pleasant surprise.” No telephone bill is ever a pleasant surprise, and if I want to time my activity I will-boil an egg.

Place the Sledge Hammer, Please

SPEAKING of eggs, I am still not so weak I gotta use a “crax-ezy” egg-chopper to get inside of a hen's daily output. Just hand me the sledge hammer, Clark, and stand back. I cry fie upon these decadent shortcuts to simple living. Offknock leaving those personalized gizmos

sonalized desk sets, handsewn poker sets, initialed towels, monogrammed golf balls—monogrammed ear muffs, doll babies, tuft-wick coverlets, neckties; “door-knoeckers;- keychains, -bridge-pads, -sta-~ tionery, .pencils, pens, playing cards, drink-coast-ers, place-mats, door-mats, soap, or underdraw-

ers.-1¢-1 like the stuff I'll burn my own initialsi

on it with & blowtorch. . That about covers the nix-list, Fat Stuff. Every: thing I mentioned is for sale, and I want you to jook the other way when they start trying to palm it off on you, because they will if they can. And if you really want to know what will gladden this childish heart on Dec. 25—well, just

facturers, and I don’t want to

go up against them empty-handed. ,

v

Hot Pumpkin =

By Frederick C Othman

"WASHINGTON, Dec, 9—Looks like everybody knows what Whittaker Chambers hid: in his pumpkin, except us taxpayers. Lawyers, State Department officials, one columnist by the name of Sumner Welles, Congressmen, Investigators, an assortment of photogsraphers and possibly some unidentified Russians know what was printed on the stolen State Department documents which ex-spy ‘Chambers thrust into a pumpkin on his Maryland farm, after carefully removing the seeds, Dozens of people already have seen at least some of these mysterious top-secret messages of a decade ago, but the experts claim they, are much: too hot for the rest of us to sneak a gander. ‘This is what you might call exasperating. How this nation could be further embarrassed {cation of items which somebody sneaked

by out: of benefit of the Communists, is something that I, as a plain garden variety pumpkin-head, can’t quite understand. The House Un-American Activities Committed kept changing its signals on whether it would, or wouldn't hold hearings on the. subject of the Chambers’ celebrated pumpkin, but the boys finally called the proceedings to order.

The Camera-Shy Microfilms

REP. KARL E. MUNDT of South Dakota couldn’t find his gavel; he achieved results by pounding a crystal ash-tray. His investigators spread the microfilm records of the diplomats’ letters and telegrams on the desk and the gentleman from So@th Dakota urged the cameramen to be careful, not to photograph their contents for the newspapers. : : - So the investigators: testified how they'd gone out to the farm of Mr. Chambers in Maryland one dark night last week. Mr. Chambers 16dked for a flash light, but he couldn't find one. 80 they went out into his pumpkin patch while he

f

of the State Department 10 years ago for the

lifted up numerous pumpkins, looking for a soggy one. _ When he found it, he snapped off the lid and handed the contents, consisting of film developed and undeveloped, to the committee's plainclothesmen, They had the developed films copied and they took the undeveloped rolls to a Veterans’ Ad-~ ministration photographer, who's still trying to make them legible. . Seems that pumpkin juice didn't do those hims any good. . ond So there was Mr. Welles, the one-time Undersecretary of State who now writes for the newspapers. He looked dapper in chocolate-colored flannel; he took one cigaret and then another .from his silver case, while Chief Investigator Robert L. Stripling handed him three official telegrams fliched from the Department of State. Top Secret—Only 6 Mikes TWO OF THESE were long cables from Paris; one from Vienna. All were stamped top secret when received by the government code room in 1938. Mr, Welles. regarded . them, poker-faced. He had no idea how they got into Mr. Chambers’ pumpkin, but he said they would cause trouble if published today. “Even at this late date?” ard M. Nixon. of California. “In my. opinion, yes,” said Mr. Welles. He added that it was not really for him to diagnose the danger of Mr, Chambers’ pumpkin stuffing. He said the Congressmen ought to call a present official of the State Department. They did so, in the person of John Peurifoy, Assistant Secretary of State, who looked glum, despite his yellow necktie. He read the three documents and he also said he believed they would do the nation harm if published today. AER He talked into six microphones about the necessity of keeping the films secret... The committee went into, executive session and I have no idea what happens next, It was 8 hot pumpkin for

insisted Rep. Rich-

- SECOND SECTION

Indianapolis officials yesterday slammed the i

it stayed shut, Sat. J tour of duty. He is s dens-in-the city’ by Chief of Dete

THURSDAY, DECEMBER 9, 1948

oe Klein was assigned to make constant checks hown here entering Club 39, at 39 W. Ohio St., termed “one ©

ctives John J. O'Neal,

Stand By To See It Stays

d on organized vice and gambling. To make sure

joints during his

of suspected -the worst crime

LSAT

2 y : A ig @ - : . % Routine checks might become boring fo some, but Sgt. Klein ing there's ‘a homey Tite place;

Police Slap Lid On Gambling,

wv

“Another place igh on The police suspect list, fhe Brass 145 N. llinois St., got plenty of attention from Sgt. Klein.

officer had just visited the tave:

Np a hd Man gis “T sir il : a . RAL 2 5 i Yak’ va) interest tn Hiswork, “This is-my fourth: look teu here Market St. Police say taverns like these are "trouble spots. today," the officer said as he entered the Hoosier Inn, : :

All's Quiet on

Front After Rapid Raids

Race Results Bootlegged as Local Service

Remains Closed; Police Patrol ‘Spots’ Indianapolis police today resumed their all-out anti-gambling campaign but found that yesterday's ralds had nailed the lid on

tight. : Wire service to local horse yesterday by undisclosed methods history, was not resumed this mo Gamblers calling the wire servfce office for the “morning line” were told, “We're not giving out a thing—we don't know when service will be resumed.” Service Bootlegged However, those really anxious to learn the early odds on today’s races, ‘were obtaining the figures by long distance telephone calls to other cities. Race results were bootlegged into Indianapolis yesterday by’this method when the wire service shut down. Meanwhile, the check of sus-

sales rooms began again this morning at 5 o'clock. However,

of Indiana Ave. found no activity. Activity Dull At 7 a. m,, Lt. Ralph Chambers took over the “watch on the ave-

.

morning cigars.

pected gambling and policy ticket

Lt. Noel Jones who made a tour| at that hour

nue” but members of the fraternity of chance were peacefully d shooting pool or smokipg early|after yesterday's "tour,"

Gambling

race bookies, which was stopped for the first time in city gambling rning at 9 o'clock. °°‘

As an added precaution, police put “plants” in Joe Mitchell's liquor store, 402 Indiana Ave, and his cigar store next door to make sure customers purchased only legal merchandise. It was {Mitchell's liquor store and the {cleaning establishment of his brother, Isaac (Tuffy) Mitchell, which ylelded 7000 policy tickets in police raids yesterday. : Elsewhere in the city gambling activities were equally &s dull under close police watchfulness. | Lt. Dulin Judd and a squad toured the industrial area on 8. |Belmont + Ave. ~ watching for “street salesmén” who had been reported working the crowds of {employees moving in and out of |factories. However, no salesmen were sighted, . = : Other squads, which resumed their watch on North and South Side taverns and. cigar shops likewise

reported “no activity.” «

1

left

Eligible for Bell Service Emblem

Miss Ruby Scharlau, Indiana

: Bell_Telephone . Co. operator, to-

day became eligible to receive a jeweled 30-year service emblem in honor of her long career in the telephone industry. Miss Scharlau

Telephone neers of America, national organization of telephone and women who have been in the

business at least . 21 years. Miss Scharlau

Alf of Miss Scharlau’s telephoge work ‘has been Indianapolis. She lives in 1926 Wilcox St. ? !

Loss Put at $100,000

At Vincennes Fire VINCENNES, Dec. 9 (UP)— Damage by fire to the Jim Bryant Empire Motor Co. here today was estimated at nearly .$100,000. _ The fire, believed to have started from an explosion in the company’s paint room, destroyed the building and stock rooms late \yesterday. Only the walls were standing. afi

To Flee From

HONOLULU,

Protestant and Catholic. While Chinese Christian clergymen have been tortured and killed, American clergymen have been forced out by processes of squeeze and confiscation. But 31-year-old David Stowe and his wife, Virginia, who is expecting her secon child, do not intend to abandon their Chinese pastors and their compound in Tientsin: In a lefter read from the pulpit of the Central Union Church here, Mr. Stowe serves notice of his intention and that of three Amer{can women church workers to face whatever fate armijes have for them and their Chinese pastors. “We are staying,” Mr. Stowe announced bluntly in a private letter. “We have. been preaching faith, courage and the utter dependability of God to people in America now for years. Is it not time to try translating these great ideas from wotds into

f

i \

served, when this picture was taken,

* observed Sgt. ‘Joe Klein as he left Holland's Tavern in W.

Time for Church to Dig In, Says lowan,

And This Seems the Place to Do It T. H., Dec. 9-—-Confident that the Cross is mightier. than the tommy-gun, five American missionaries are refusing to flee

North China in the face of the sweeping The Chinese Communist armies, installed in Manchuria by the

Soviet army, have been wiping out American mission stations, both

: of Occlental

PAGE 21.

The mm to see if minors were - being

Chinese Reds

Communist tide.

overcome the worldwide challenge of communism, somewhere it has to stop running and start in. This looks like a place to dig.” Mr. Stowe, a native of Counell Bluffs, Towa, and his Milwaukee. born wife, named Ware before their marriage, have been coms pletely wiped out by thieves twice already this year. ‘ “The three American women,

Wis, a uate of Ripon College in 1914 and Northwestern in 1936, and Con« stance Buell of Wellesley Hills, Mass., a 1913 Wellesley graduate, Mr, Stowe is a graduate of Mide lands College. the University of

BE

-

ing College of the U. 8. be and