Indianapolis Times, Indianapolis, Marion County, 21 June 1948 — Page 11

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ruin my

other day when I passed the<National Cash Register Co., 422 N. Meridian St. Machines, Surely I could get some help from that outfit. Surely they had a gimmick that could be adapted to clover.

ees, listened patiently while I explained my prob-

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it 5

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the ) of a counting

surely, Somebody Can Help. WHEN the idea came to me making survey of clover leaves, I tried to it out © mind at first. Another failure would surely confidence for all time. My spirits went up to the sky blue yonder the

“ee

Basil Crismore and Bill Steinmetz, sales train-

A LULU—BIll Steinmetz [left] and Mike Riordan demonstrate a posting machine that can do a great many things, but when it comes to four leaf clovers, there are problems.

PE ———

Not the ‘Inside’

RIO DE JANEIRO, June 21--It is the fashiongble thing, when making a once-over-lightly leap at Latin America, to come home and write a lengthy series of intimate appraisals of the southern neighbors. This inside-South-America-in-three-weeks technique calls for a talent I lack . . . omniscience. In the first place, I don’t know how anybody ever can explain Latin-American politics, since Latin-American politicians themselves do not understand what goes on. And the scene shifts from day to day, in a never-ending chain of sedition, counterplot, ‘intrigue and general pilfering from the public pot. i The only thing you can say positively of most Latin politicos is that one day they are a leaden cinch to (1) be shot or (2) go over the hill with a bundle, to wind up in Paris or New York forever more, One of our.mgore honest ambassadors told me that he can’t make head or tail out of what 8 on in his particular precinct, and if it’s too tough for him it’s too tough for me. 3 - No matter how vast the country, how rich its resources, how vital it ‘may be to the future security ‘of the hemisphere, there is still a fine Gilbert-and-Sullivan reek to its political framework, until you always expect a hidden orchestra to burst into “Pinafore.” There is an unreality to it. You are reminded of cocky little. boys, dressed in papa’s soldier suit—strutting in the backyard and tripping over grandpa’s sword.

Get Rich Before Fleeing

THE ephemeral quality of it all is felt by the presidents and dictators themselves, who keep one eye on the exit and the, other on their trusted advisers, against the day they will catch that hurryup airplane, leaving government to the next boy with a stout chin. In the meantime, they get rich, because exile is unfunny without a pokeful of convertible wealth. I have heard that the Peron government in Argentina isn’t for long; that the general is honest but that his associates are stealing the country blind; that Evita, his bride, packs more weight than he does; that Mike Miranda, called Money Mike, packs more weight than either—but I give you no inside behind the inside. President Peron was down with the miseries when I was in Ar-

PE —————————— Te

Splinters

WASHINGTON, June 21—T've paid $16.50— what is this country coming to, anyhow?—for a pair of convention shoes. With holes punched in ‘em to keep my toes cooled off to a slow boll, like those Republicans. Here I am in Philadelphia with reservations for (1), a room in the Adelphia‘ Hotel, and (2), 18 inches of pine plank in the box at,Conyention Hall. No. 2 is a pain and I don’t mean in“the neck. : Ever since Pve been going to political conventions I non lobbying with those Republicans and Democrats, too, to do something about their planks. Not the ones they write, but the ones they make me sit on. At heart, I think, they are sadists, I haven't asked ’em for cushions, or even for towels to mop up the: sweat that trickles down my torso and causes my badge to leave purple stains on my shirt. Nor have I demanded aif conditioned earmuffs to protect me (and I say this advisedly) from the world’s worst oratory. There’s only one thing worse than listening to the 17th earnest politico seconding the nomination of his candidate and that is listening to him from a press-box plank. Gentlemen, again I renew plea: — How's to bevel the edges?

He Can Stand Warm Soda

1 CAN with sitting thigh-to-thigh with Da ng The smokefilled rooms (and don’t tell me there won't be have been cona synthetic

other over-heated correspondents.

any) I don’t much mind because I ditioning myself with the fumes from rubber overshow in a brisk brush fire.

The cold hot dogs at 30 cents each (maybe the

he Quiz Master

What {s the essential difference in the

of a modern play and one in the Elizabethan Age?

No women were allowed on the stage in the

Elizabethan Age. - When was Negro slavery introduced into the - eo & ® United States? : as the Maine ever raised? : Negroes were first introduced into the EngIn 191] ; sok i ex- lish-American colonies in August, 1619, when a v Amaeid the wntire greek war yited tnd Dutch vessel delivered 20 of them at Jamestown, ~ of the explosion. Re for Wd de Ve

Responsibility for

Crismore:

Mike Riordan,” was my comment. problem at hand. dan was familiar with my past counting exploits

‘Yes Sir, He's Licked’

and uncovered a monster of a machine with scads|’ of keys. could be used for tabulating any kind of a clover|: leaf I might run into. All that had to be dome| was set up a standard.

leaf you want on this Riordan. “And the thing will print on four differ ent records at once. You can take sub-totals, too.’

stance, no one could foul me up or peek if I didn't want them to. _ little window to look at the totals, it would bel recorded.

figures for absolute accuracy,” added Mr. Riordan. That sort of went over my head and kept right on going.

could almost see myself with it recording clover with the accuracy of an atom scientist.

merely records what you punch on it.”

.Haya de la Torre is a very potent man, and there

“«

t. we better call Mike,” suggested “Who's Mike?”

Mike turned out to be a veteran accounting 9 machine salesman who uses Riordan for his last| name. 1

“If you think he'll be able to help, call this All three of us explained to Mr. Riordan the|:

“Clover leaves, eh?” I was in luck. Mr. Rior-|:

HE STEPPED to the front of the salesroom|; Quickly he showed me 20 keys that:

“You can tabulate any kind of a screwy clover|: machine,” explained Mr.|:

There were other desirable features. For in-

If a spy as much as opened a

“You can check the totals against controll

The machine without question was a lulu. I

“You may be interested to know the machine costs $4100,” Mr. Riordan said. “It weighs 300 pounds and, incidehtally, you still have to count the clover. You know, of course, the machine

As I said, I don’t think I'll be counting anymore.

that's about all. I'm licked.

By Robert C. Ruark

gentina, and I wasn't feeling so good myself. If I had seen him, he couldn’t have told me anything anyhow.

Me, I deal in the obvious; reel off a

couple hundred jokes about Evita, because the|:

Argentine spends one-half of his waking hours|{ speculating on the venality of his government, and the other half thinking up fresh jokes about its principals. 1 I know, too, that back in Peru, a fellow named

has been noise and will be more from that quarter. I'read that in Time Magazine—foreign edition, ‘of course, :

Some Profound Revelations

SANTIAGO in Chile is a wind-whipped, bleak city,. with probably the best, bleakest hotel in Soufh America, six good restaurants, and reportedly pretty women. er - Lima, in Peru, is covered by a perpetual cloudbank at this time of the year—and, while pleasant to its residents, would be a lovely place for a transient to cut his ‘throat, especially if he had the kind of cold I had at the time. But the dollar exchange is great, and silver. is cheaper than a slab of baby bife—pronounced beefy—in B. A. Rio, give or take a few vistas in Hawall, is probably the loveliest, lushest, most cornily dra-matic-looking spot in the world, but the buzzards help themselves from the meat in the open market. The famous Copacabana beach is less lovely than half-a-dozen others nearby. Rio's women walk more Yeautifully than any other women in the world, are probably handsomer, and certainly cheerfuller. There is no point in doing any work in Rio, if you can avoid it. There is probably not one recorded duodenal ulcer in its city limits. But a decent—by American standards—apartment will slug you $300 a month. The tango is danced in-B. A. the Samba in Rio, and there's an awful lot of coffee in Brazil. And so, with these profound revelations, I leave South America. Today I will be in Philadelphia, where the Republicans have a shell game going. Also, I just received a coded cable to the effect that mama has finished moving the furniture, and it’s safe once more for a man to come home. :

By Frederick C. Othman

price has gone down a little this year—hey, Philadelphia?) have little effect on ma. Neither does the warm ice-cold soda pop, which fizzes at 15 cents a bottle. After the first couple of frazzling days I'll go, as usual, on a diet of chewing gum and aspirin tablets, But those planks, gents. After the first hour they begin to bite. After 10 hours they're cutting dents. A few days of this and a fellow has so many red marks criss-crossing himself that he can hardly sit down. Or even go to bed, unless he sleeps on his stomach.

Gestapo Couldn’t Do Worse THE spontaneous, haw, demonstrations I'm used to. Woody Hockaday is dead, but if somebody else turns up to sprinkle feathers on the earnest marchers, he won't bother me. Band Leader Meyer Davis can tootle “Daie in 48” all he wants; I'm stone deaf. The lovely lady delegates with the shiny noses, the damp hair and the sagging petticoats may scream in my ear at their pleasure. But they better not climb up on my plank. Female politicians, by and large, aren't little. The marching down the aisles gets too much for ‘am. To escape the elephants stepping on their toes, they climb precariously into the press box. There they jiggle in their high heels and hold only my neck with their hot little hands. This causes the plank also to jiggle. Ow-w-w-w-w-w. The gestapo could think of nothing worse. And so I repeat, gentlemen of the Arrange-

have splinters in ‘em.

it was towed to sea and sunk. ; Ye

Oh, maybe up to a 100 occasionally, but

ments Committee, the planks in the official platform are just words. But fhe planks in_the hall

29? Test Your Skill ???

SECOND SECTION

RL Ie a

AUTHORED A

discussion.

FOLKLORE EXPERT — Dr. Stith Thompson heads the graduate school. He, too, was away for awhile. He helped Venezuela establish a folklore service.

Was a Big Year At Bloomingtoh

Times State Service BLOOMINGTON, Ind. June 21 ~—This has been a big year for Indiana University. Some schools win fame from football alone. Others invent gadgets, achieve notoriety by hiring or firing somebody or by banning something. : Not I. U. Most of its fame is academic in nature and origin, It stems from the faculty whose contribution in the arts and sciences this year has widened the influence of the Hoosier University as a center of Iéarning. # » -

A ZOOLOGY professor named Dr. A. C. Kinsey wrote a book about the sex life of the most complicated of vertebrate animals ~—the human male. He was assisted by two colleagues, Dr. Wardell - B. Pomeroy and Dr. Clyde E. Martin. . It was the only scientific treatise in the nation to become a best seller. : President Herman B Wells went to Germany to revitalize the educational system for Germans in the U. 8. Zone of Occupation. He has just returned. s # » DR. STITH THOMPSON went to South America and inaugurated a folklore service for the Republic of Venezuela. He also

Soldier From Here Aids Research

Sgt. William E. Rohr, Indianapolis soldier, is listed by the as one of 10 volunteers undergoing intensive dietary. research tests in New York Medical College, Metropolitan Hospital. The tests, given under simulated life-raft corditions, are being made to aid the Army in planning armed forces diets under situations of extreme stress.

State Health Board Issues -Food Warning

Food does not have to smell or taste bad to be unfit to eat during hot weather, the Indiana State Board of Health pointed out

today. Dale Harman, health education consultant, said, “Many cases of food poisoning occur in the home because the food is not kept under proper temperature. “These often are considered as

as poison cases.”

Dr. Kinsey was a zoology profess

stomach upsets and not identified He warned that cream-filled

MONDAY, JUNE 21, 1948

BEST SELLER—Dr. A. C. Kinsey, sitting, studies book reviews lauding his thorough study of the sex life of the human male. He gives a lot of credit to his two assistants, Dr. Wardell B. Pomeroy, left, and Dr. Clyde E. Martin. who ‘became curious to learn more about: the intimate behavior of man, highest of all vertebrates. The book has raised nationwide

SHAKESPEAREAN —The writings of English Prof. John. R. Moore are being’ quoted to refute the common belief that the great bard was antiSemitic.

NEW CONDUCTOR— Mr. Hoffmann draws on his long musical experience in directing the university's symphony orchestra.

the Guggenheim Foundation. He returned at the beginning of

ate School.

Three Indianapolis students attending the Univérsity of Chicago have been awarded degrees at the largest convocation in the 57year history of the university. Indianapolis graduates included Mary Senn, 3015 N. Pennsylvania St.; Delbert Price, 1740

K. of P. to Seat Chester A. Davis

Chester A. Davis, Lawrence County Circuit Court Judge, will be installed Grand Chancellor of

Pythias July 1.

ter, 119 E. Ohio Bt.

anapolis, will be Vice Chancello

tards, ground meats, eclairs

similar food. ‘

pies must be watched; also.cus-

Grand inner Guard,

last semester to head the Gradu- John Robert Moore of the English

TU men always will remember Shakespeare, the greatest of all Ross Lockridge Jr. who wrote|dramatists, was not an anti“Raintree County” and then re-|Semite. turned to the campus, exhausted, Re argument has been raging

Chicago Awards Degrees To Three Local Students

the Grand Lodge Knights of

Joseph W. Van. Briggle, Indi-

Prelate; Louis E. Starken, Plainfield, Grand Master at Arms; El-|several business corporations and ton L. Marquart, Ft. Wayne, philanthtopic institutions in Ft. Mr. Rose is vice presi-

and Guy {dent of the St. Joseph Bank &

Harris, Patriot, Grand Outer | Guard.

GEOGRAPHER Thomas F. Barton is help-

_ ing to introduce the sub-

ject to younger children of school age. He. has written three books to--ward- this. objective.

ANOTHER FIRST—Dr. S. S. Visher pioneers with his book on outstanding scientists. He scrutinizes the background of the successful.

IN LITERATURE, also, Prof.

Department proved that William

N. Capitol Ave., and George A. Curtis, 4435 Evanston Ave. Other Hoosier graduates were Charles Gasteyer, Beverly Shores, John Baird, Carmel; Richard Sacksteder, Elwood; Mrs. Eleanor Eggers, Ft. Wayne; Clayton Kilpatrick, Ft. Wayne; Virginia Lane, LeRoy; John Horton, Nashville; Robert Moore, South Bend; Mrs, Susie Dewey, Terre Haute; Jack Mankin, Terre Haute; Deane

=. The Indianapolis Times - New Fame Won By Indiana U. Faculty’s Achievements

to the campus after an inter

adviser for the Office of Mil his |1th year as head of th

BACK HOME—President Herm

PAGE 11-

Wells returns lude in Edrope as a cultural itary Government. He is in | e university. He was dean

of the business school when appointed to his present

post.

~ ZOOLOGIST—The department gains. further prominence from the research work - in genetics of Dr. T. M. Sonneborn and his associates, They won a national award.

HOME BASE—The National Touring Theater is to operate out of the campus. Dr. Lee R. Norvelle has spent many years work toward this end.

carried out assignments for the|to die. “Raintree County” is still|for centuries. It may continue for U. 8. Library of Congress andig best seller.

centuries more with Prof. Moore's books as an authority for the negative. Thomas F.. Barton of .the geography department published three new geopraphy books aimed at introducing the subject to primary school children for the first time.

Producers’ Council To Hold Outing

in Lebanon.

of - arrangements,

Pinney, Valparaiso, and Robert Weiss, Valparaiso. _ Ernest Cadman Colwell, president of the University, presented {the convocation address and conferred degrees.

Public ceremonies will be neta New Directors: Named at 2 p. m. in the Pythian Cen- By Insurance Co.

Wayne L. Thieme, Ft. Wayne, and George G. Rose, South Bend,

have been elected to the board of

T. Others to be installed include directors of the Vernon General Grand |Insurance Co. here.

Mr. Thieme is a director of

Wayne. | Trust Co. in South Bend.

Ray Starr and Chet T. Spriggs.

The program will open at 1

ip. m. with a golf tournament,

Shortridge Band Gives Concert Tonight

Meridian St. school entrance.

Miss Grace Cus

the Shortridge ig

will start from New Orleans.

The annual summer outing for members of the Indiana Chapter of the Producers’ Council, Inc., and their guests will be held Friday at the Ulen Country Club

Barney Bernard 1s in charge assisted by Walter McFerran, XK. P. Thiery,

The Shortridge simmer band will’ give its first concert at 8 p. m. today. on the steps of the

Directed by Robert J. Shultz, the band plans to play 15 selections.

, member of t h School mathematics department, will conduct a tour of Guatemalan Highlands July 12. The touf

TALENT SCOUT— Dean Wilfred C. Bain: brought internationallyknown Ernst Hoffmann to the campus as a conductor. :

. » IN RESEARCH, Dr. T. M. Sonneborn and his associates in the

erican vancement of Science award for their work in genetics. The zool-

ogy department with this award .

and Dr. Kinsey's book had a big year, ’ » Dr. Sonneborn discovered than

been given a grant from the Rockefeller Foundation ‘and IU has been made the group's home

Dr, 8. 8. Visher made another

The Indiana Bakers Associa. tion will present a three-day session June 29 through July 1 in the Lincoln Hotel. The course, ‘which is for the benefit of local bakers, will have as its theme, “Accent on ity.” ‘This is part of a streamlined sehot) a bakers and is sponsor: y Fleischmann Division of 4 Inc. .

pone

masse