Indianapolis Times, Indianapolis, Marion County, 29 April 1948 — Page 19
My visits to the markets are rare. And most of my buying is done in the “staple” food departments; potato chips, pretzels and corn shavings. But the effect is the same. I'm sure Mr. Schultz would give me sympathy if he were around. Sympathy and a couple of chunks of candy from his big glass jar. A man shouldn't complain, I suppose, about the free goodies. For the purchase price of a bag of chips, you can get sandwiches, coffee, cookies
i 3
SUPER CELERY—A lady at a super market hesitates with a bargain. Notice how much
room there is left in the as yet unmechanized push ‘cart,
Time to Be Firm TORS! NEW YORK, Apr. 20—This is a report to the . members of Horse Players, Anonymous, on the eve of the Kentucky Derby, as our group approaches its third anniversary. Stand firm, fellows. Your president has his eye on you. For the benefit of the uninitiated, Horse Players’ Anonymous'is a self-protective organization which is based on the fact that some people just can't take their horses or leave them alone, We are the neople who .are-unable to make a two-buck bet and let it-go at that. We are the poor wretches who wind up. betting long shots on the -nose, while our children go shoeless, the N . : wolf has a litter on the doorstep, and the install ment man comes to take away the television set. I don’t mind telling you, thére was a Hine when the sight & common cart horse wou 'SSES make me drool and twitch. My hahds would bes Ca gin to tremble and sweat at the palms. The next a thing you knew, I ‘would be crouched in. a phone a booth with a racing form, frantically dialing the bookie. I was a bum. They read me out of the Book-of-the-Month Club. And I dropped so ‘low on. the social scale that I couldn't even qualify Ed as a man-of distinction. ES - It seems like an awful long time ago, as I stand here a new man, spatted, suave, happy, healthy, well-tailored, a director of- corporations,
new shipment a yachtsman, connoisseur of art, patron of the Hundreds of iheater—and, thanks to Horse Players, 'Anony- + mous, freed forever of my slavish subservience it of materials, to the horse. : s, chambrays, There's No Halfway Mark French crepes, YOU CAN HANG feverishly over a radio . 9 to 15, Saturday, when the Coaltowns and Citations and es +»
at Churchill Downs—but not us HPA boys. . We .will be walking in the woods, olserving JON’S the birds and trees; sitting quietly at home, reading improving literature; chasing blondes merrily around sofas, floating spurious stock issues— —————————— ind otherwise demonstrating our fitness to a place in respectable society. And all because we decided .there was no halfway mark. . You can .tither bet horses sanely or you can’t bet them at all. .
KPOupy Wes have: had. only. one. .backslider..He. left.
The. Beasts :
- WASHINGTON, "Apr. 28—Our governmen worrying about: mongooses and I don't mean. mongeese: ot : . It is protecting alligators, grizzly bears and owls. Guarding porcupines, trumpeter swans and moose. - Givi free medical attention to buffalo,
(it claims) for the birds and the beasts. But what, gentlemen of the Senate, is it doing to defend taxpayers from the animals? Such as skunks? . - The kitties with the white tails invade the Othman acres in Virginia every night at 9 and sit on their handkerchiefs around the garden, waitIng for a beet to show its head above the ground. Then snick, No more beet. In the background lurk the rabbits, flashing White in the moonlight, thumping their tails on the earth, and gnawing ‘the bark off the apple trees, These rabbits havé sharp teeth, the skunks . have weapons even more efficient. And I am a ot Prisoner in my own house. Scared to step off my Own front porch. A lot the government cares,
e set that will it | ll How About Using Bows, Arrows?
rette binding . - - ITS WILD ANIMAL experts made their annual (the back cushions Prerimage Jo the Capitol to report on the state i om- er y ) give added com They told the Senate executive expenditures green or blue. committee they were doing such an efficient chore ne of saving the beasts from the men that there is ! A surplus of most four-footed items. Only exception porcupines in Colorado and the scientists of the National Park Service are investigating that. Victor H. Cahalane, the park biologist, said tre were $0 many white tail deer on Mt, Desert gan, Maine, that they weren't getting enough a
Sen. Homer Ferguson of Michigan wondered ¥ it wouldn't be a idea to allow mere people Mt. Desert Island to shoot these surplus deer ¥ith bows and arrows, maybe?
Fri
“16 "the “three years since we Yormed our little “from that
tis
Toseate spoonbills, and elk. Doing an elegant job ~
\ come to Of course, there are disadvantages with. much selection. I was going to buy a plece cheese to go with my bag of potato chips. Fo and -coff Of cheeses, 0
g : T i
don’t you?
For some reason the line of carts turned “Pet Foods” on that trip. Six of the “girls” another turn around the track without a murmer, y rong cart. pushers with their young ones shouting “Giddap” kept their course, Super markets will do well to keep carts of simple wire construction. If anyone is contemplating fenders and side curtains to “jazz” their joints up, forget icemen.
it or else engage traffic
pol Thie lady with the nut bread cast a side glance in my direction. What did I care? I had
my fill of nut bread, 1
“Thank you, don’t mind if T do. Fig bars are my favories.” You can get anything in super
markets.
‘Watch Where Your Driving, Lady’
SPEAKING of anything, I noticed a huge display of ham in the meat department. It lacked one thing-—a picture of Paul Roberts, the selfstyled “happy monster” who should wear slices of rye bread for a sport coat. No kidding, I've known hams in my life bit this WFBM ham hock
takes the blue ribbon. Ugh, :
But, on to pleasanter things. Did you ever take an objective look at the way the cashiers work in super markets? Isn't it wonderful how quick they can click up 10 bucks? They must have photographic minds, those. people. .With. 15,000 items in a super market, those gals just tap a package and never miss a key on the register. I always get a charge out of coming up to the bag of potato chips. It almost throws a monkey
wrench into the works.
' A peculiar type of sadness hits me when I have to fork over my money. Remember the days when| | all you seeded was a “book” or you could say,|} “Mr. Schultz, I'll pay you for this next week.” Piel “Gone are the days . . . madam, I wish you
would watch where you're driving.” “Boom, boom, mister, you're“dead.”
By Robert C. Ruark
body made the mistake, one day, of putting horseradish in his shrimp cocktail. Something snapped in poor Jo€'s brain, and in a-trice he was up and! away. They found him three days later at Jamaica, betting six longshots in each race, He Was ragged, dirty, and babbling like an ‘idiot. I won’t go so far as to say that we haven't, from time to time, fallen briefly off our equine wagon. Your president, meh, is not without sin. And-I would be something less than worthy of
your esteem if I held back the facts. It in New Orleans in
happened February. A “fellow named Fritcliey or Ritchey lured me out to the fairgrounds, on some pretext or other.
‘I Felt Awful, but I Quit’
I} N FOUND ELF sitting in the clubho festooned with Pete's Greed Sheet and assorted racing journals. I wanted to leave right then and there, but this fellow -Fritchey, Ritchey, said it wouldn't hurt to just sit there and watch them rum. About that time a man! named Helis, who owns horses, came along and!
we got to talking.
pounding heart, the throbbing head.
My horse came in by a short head, paid $10.20, and I was off on the same old dizzy whirl, Three-| My Requests come stumbling down the stretch horse parlays, whipsaws, longshots. By the end & of the seventh race, I was a madman. I could see! it all slipping through my fingers a, from the piggybank to back a 40-to-1 shot, pawning mama's mink-dyed squirrel, cadging from- my| friends and hanging around horse parlors untill all hours of the night. a t I quit, men. I felt awful the hext day, but I, quit—even though I had some inside sleeper who would start at 20 .to 1. Lr | It's. just a_warning,. gentlemen. Stay. away, telephone Saturday and remember, for! the nags alone for nearly two years. But sdme- terial in a glue factory. a
2255
ry was beautiful. I think canned fruit juices have the prettiest pictures,
Before you could say Seabiscuit, this Helis and| tchey were saying just one little bet never did | a man any harm, and ¢ome on, be. a sport. You know how it is. Everybody else is doing it and! you don’t want to be a wet blanket. And there you are, suddenly, in front of the clutching a little piece of pasteboard in your fist. It was just the same as always, men. That tight feeling in the throat, the moist palms; the
$10 window,
gain—stealing|
dope on a}
By Frederick C. Othman
“An ‘excellent sport because the odds are sol. nearly even between the animals and the archers,” agreed Mr. Cahalane, “But it ts against the law to hunt in national parks. And these deer are very| prolific. It is an enormous problem.”
And so it went, through the ranks of:nearly every animal that marched, two by two, aboard Noah's ark. : * In the hational parks, said Mr.-Cahalane, there are today 65,000 animals with hoofs and an unestimated number of what he called carnivores, meaning flesh eaters.
As for the beasts which prefer fresh vegetable | salads, such as my skunks, their number is legion and becoming legioner.
Maybe It's the Sunspots?
THERE ARE lots of birds, too, except possibly grouse. For reasons unknown to the researchers, these fowl seem to die out every seven years. Sen. A. Willis Robertson of Virginia, asked if sunspots could be the cause. Lloyd W. Swift, in charge of | the beasts in national forests (which are different from national parks), said he had heard that theory advanced, ; “Well, how does ‘a ‘sunspot affect a bird?" inquired the gentleman from my state. Mr. Swift said he had a theory, but he'd prefer not to mention jt. L here were other witnesses, too, all interested in the birds and the beasts. There are so many mongooses in Hawaii now, it developed, that they're killing too many owls. The alligators are ‘doing fine in Florida. South Dakota's baby buffalo are being vaccinated, the elk never were sleeker or more numerous in Yellowstone Park, and it's been a long time since this country had so many assorted wild animals. It has one.wild man, too. Name of Othman. Gnawing his fingers while those insolent skunks gnaw his vegetable patch.
THERE were threp divisions in the field of mathematics; al-/gs foreign to me as the Latin test. The exam was filled with such The latter was sptinkied| mental-mixers as rhémbus, hexgenerously with a bit of every- agon, hypotenuse, vertex, polything from arithmetic through hedron solid geometry and calculus. With figures and symbols tumin their mnds, the students a frown to a brow, engrossed in the comprehensive exam presented sober studies in| BUT TRY this on your scratch|. It had Albert R. Snider, Technical High School, mumbling and twisting his compass. . “On June 21st an observer {found the elevation of the sun to ibe 4315 degrees, What was his latitude?” All you need know to start with JA. LAUTER, Bhort-|is that on June 21st the direct ridge High School, sucked the!'rays of the sun strike the earth at 23% degrees north latitude. The students didn’t get that much!
gebra, geometry and co
Scratch paper flew in all directions as thé contestants burrowed into the exam. Then, like John Wood Lee, Manual High School, many paused reflectively, ook on their faces.
forefinger of his r he bumped into: “The angles of a certain triangle are in the ratio of 1/2/3. It the longest side is 30, what is the length of the shortest side?” It you are a few years such a problem, thé light probably won't dawn as quickly as
Kenneth Montgomery, M
» ” ~ . . » Try These Problems, Learn ~How Much You've Forgotten BLOOMINGTON, Ind., Apr, 20—Any one of the 200 students who--participated--in mathematics -examinations-at Indiana Unt versity Saturday should be able to make accounts when they enter business. Those who labored through the comprehensive exam nev: will have airficulty with the 1ong Tori for federal Income tax. These 200 form the cream of) ———-
Hoosier high school youths in the
The last time I looked into an field of mathematics,
algebra or geometry book was {in 1935. In glancing through the examination, .it appe
|ron, trigonometri That in itself is enough to bring)
pad.
|
help.
tions,
who
3 A 7) § * ao » i ow & "os 3 Sos Bs Lo 1 -HNEeS TER
‘Ready For Your ‘Math’ Test? High School
Pupils Know Answers |
(Picture Story by Victor H. Peterson)
anual High School
nual High School. Albert R. Snider, Technical High School.
PAGE 10 -
Math Test Answers [Briton to Adress ® Tuberculosis Unit — 4
Dr. Harley E. Willlams, famed 4 3ritish specialist on tuberculosis, = will be one of the main speakers at the 37th annual meeting of the 3
C |Indiana’ Tuberculosis Association {May 10, 11 and 12 in the Lincoln
The angles of a certain tri-" angle are in the ratio. ....e.. [* Let x, 2x, and 3x represent the number of degrees in the three angles of triangle ABC
) out terrific expense
X+2x43x equals 180 degrees 6x equals 180 degrees \ Therefore, BC the shortest side 30 degrees of ABC equals 15, since the short-| 90 degrees| est side of a 30 degree30 degree-|right triangle is gree Sn egree eral of the National Association |for the Prevention of Tuberculosis
Dr. Willlams fis ‘secretary-gen-Therefore, ABC is a 60 degree right triangle,
» . . . One sét of tires costs twice as much as..... Let x equal cost of cheaper set. 2x equals the cost of other set. 3x equals cost for time T using cheaper tire, 4x equals cost for time T using other tire. 3x equals 75 per cent.
Other principal speakers will be Dr. Joseph D. Arenson of the {Henry Phipps Institute of Phila {delphia; Dr, F. J. Hill, Minneap- , |olis, Minn., health commissioner; | Dr, Norvin C. Kiefer, senior surgeon of the U. 8. Public Health Service Tuberculosis Control Di vision; Dr. Russell 1, Pierce, U. 8, . Health Service, Chicago, and Dr, Edgar Dale of Ohio State Unie
gular, tetrahed-
On Jun® 21st. an observer found the elevation of the sun.... ee.
Approximately 400 persons are expected to attend. the three-day
A ——————————
mathematics, beyond counting change at a grocery store, I sepast/ cured complete answers to the problems quoted from the pér.| sons who graded the
print, Write Jerry)
June 21st, the direct rays of the sun strike the e latitude. Then angle AOC equals 231% Pp y
" 0» WHEN the last graded, one Indianapolis student
elevation equals angle DPK. degrees,
was awarded third place: Robert Schull, ‘Technical High
while Don Jeffries,
90° degrées—43'4 degrasd equals 6% | ) p 0 Ro Lia >
»