Indianapolis Times, Indianapolis, Marion County, 24 September 1947 — Page 13
Ha” pokket, ing nch-
AVAST YE MEN of the USS Rochester, here comes a shipmate. The time has come to shove off for Philadelphia, Pa., where a‘ little’ ol’ cruiser is waiting to weigh anchor for Bermuda, the land of flying fish, flaming Poinciana trees ahd a sky “with more stars than ° any other sky in the Atlantic.” That's what the travel pamphlet said. Shoving off may be easy for a seafaring man but when you get to my class, the Sunday afternoon, fresh water owboat seadog, shoving off gets to be rather a complicated mess. The letter from the district public information officer at Great Lakes mentioned that life aboard ship would “presumably be very informal.” ‘He suggested that I pack slacks, sport shirts, sweater, jacket, sun glasses and a pair of shoes With composition soles. The tone of the : letier: seemed to indicate there was nothing to worry about. There was no mention of a box lunch, life preserver or oars.. Here's hoping the Cruiser Rochester lives up to the officer's confidence,
Takes Oars Along IN ANY CASE, just to make sure I'm not caught in the Atlantic without a paddle, I'm taking a pair of oars along. - Never can tell. My mother always told me to be careful around the water and this jaunt is
Inside Indianapolis weighs anchor and hoists a pair of oars as he
heads for Philadelphia and the USS Rochester.’
OFF TO SEA—"Mr,
PARIS, Sept. 24.—I have been sitting around for an hour; fiddling with the old swindle sheet, trying to get it to make enough sense so my masters in New York won't scream too loud. . _But you can’t do it. There's no way to make sense out ofsa world in which commerce is figured in pesetas and soap, francs and cigarets, lire and chewing gum. How can you come out even if you list two packs of butts at 35 cents when those two packs will feed a family for a week or buy the service of a countess as a housemaid? When you're listing, at the same time, a lunch for two that cost $20 because the food is figured on the black market and your exchange, legally, is 120 francs to. the buck? You've bought a good threedollar lunch for $20, and will the people in the office purse their lips and wonder if ‘Ruark has gone mad, eating $20 lunches? I have been trying to translate excess baggage on the airplane in terms of soap and toilet paper, with the fare bought in British pounds in an African community which won't allow the ticket to be sold for francs.
How Much for Soap?
LET US ATTEMPT a simple sum. If John has two apples—black market apples, of ‘course—how much is a cake of soap worth ify there is no soap in John's community? If a cake of soap is worth as much as a bar of bullion, am I not a chump to put down: “One ck. sp.—10 cts.” A pound is four bucks in England, but three bucks in Tangier, and a Parisian franc comes 120 to the dollar but a franc in the U. 8. might come out 425 and it might be 250 in Tangier and 180 in Algiers and it's illegal to go around making bargains in money and they will put you in jail if they catch you and who wants to go to jail? But how can you be moral in an atmosphere where the bank manager advises you to go around the corner fo change your
Rain or Shine WASHINGTON, Sept. 24—Four hundred and seventy-five of the world’s most insulted men, ‘butts of the worst: jokes and recipients of the snarlingest complaints, are in fown to talk over their troubles in four languages. Poor devils. I mean the international weather forecasters, meteorologists from 43 countries holding forth behind a barricade of pyrheliometers, integrating potentiometers, recording illuminometers, radio sondes, spectroscopic hygrometers, electroniq rocket trackers and other widgets as complicated as their names, I don't suppose there is any more pitiful sight than a weather man about to be interviewed by a newspaper reporter, There is terror in his eye and a tremor in his hands, because he knows what is coming. But the sessions inside must have been a little dull, because a brave, grave, gray-haired American forecaster came outside to sneak a cigaret. He was leaning against a ceilometer—which shines a light straight up and automatically measures how high the clouds are-—and he braced himself, for the worst. I shook his dampigh hand. “Now about this thunderstorm which hit Washington last Thursday when it was supposed to be fair and warmer?” I began.
All Instrument’s Fault HE WINCED. He said the weather bureau was a little embarrassed about that one, but it snuck up on the trick machinery. I said was all the fancy apparatus much use to a practicing weather man? “Are you intending to quote me?” he asked. I told him that wild horses, maddened by an electrical storm, never would drag his name from me. He smiled then. He said that a plain, old-fashioned barometer was about the most useful item the wealhar man has,
Plastic Knights
ibe on. the lookout for an opportunity to say some-|
..oars?) will have to be carried over my shoulder. My first idea was to pack a suit, 14 pairs of socks, |.
Inside le Indianapolis
The Indianapolis
Times
®
no exception even though it is with the United Sta¥i navy. An old sailor I know briefed me at great | about the Janguage of the sea. He said the Pest wa to get along aboard ship is to make it known you're
not exactly a down .and out landlubber. The first
impression is supposed to last with your ‘shipmates. | Since the Rochester is a man-of-war I think I'll]
thing like this: beg » "Mates, that breeching looks~secure. Yes, indeed, mighty secure.” Jt Breeching, you know, is a rope used to secure the cannon to prevent it from recoiling too much in time of battle, Certainly, now since the hostilities are over, the Rochester's breeching will be secure. I should be safe with my observation. I have plenty more stuff up my sleeve, And once aboard ship, I'm sure I'll be able to pick up a lot more authentic language if I keep my eyes and ears open. Capt. Firman F. Knachel, commandant of the Naval Armory here in the city, recommended I pack all my stuff in one grip. “Don’t load yourself down with too much baggage,” the captain said. One grip. I tried. On the third try after a great deal of elimination, I was able to close my Gladstone. The oars (why hasn't someone invented collapsible
three pairs of slacks, five white shirts, twe colored, three sport shirts, sport shorts, three pairs of shoes, corduroy jacket, two sweaters, windbreaker, half a dozen ties, six shorts and shirts and my shaving equipment. One grip.
Finally Fastens Grip AFTER MY GEAR was cut exactly in half, IT was ble to snap the lock and fasten the straps before it popped open. I hope I don’t run out of clothes. Maybe they'll have soap chips on the Rochester and I can rinse out a few things with the captain's permission. My sailor friend said not to worry about seasickness. He said it's all in the mind. “I've sailed for over 30 years in all kinds of weather and I have never had that first topsy-turvy|, feeling,” he said. Good enough for me. If he could sail for 30 years and live to be 87, I certainly should be able to sail for two weeks. “The trip I took from Chicago to Milwaukee on Lake Mich-
igan several years ago was pretty rough and I made:
it in ship-shape style. get it. Besides, the travel pamphlet said the trip to Bermuda would be over a “gentle semi-tropical sea’ and ie ISHARES Bre Known 8s CE I Sa ae
Bah, I'm just going to for-
So, off to the train you stouthearted. old salt and
“Avast ye men of the USS Rochester. I see your hreeching is secure, secure.”
i
Ah—mates, Yes, sir; mighty
By Robert C. Ruark|
dollars because he has his personal representative working the beat there? Try that on your whistles, o guardians of my | honesty in the swindle sheet department. Assay for me the value in your annual statement of one cigaret, if it-is worth a bale of German marks or a bundle of lire. Item on my expense account: . “Three pkgs. Luckies tow Italian customs officials—$75.” I really should have charged $50 each, because who! knows what the official might have found if he'd probed deeper into my sulteases? What column in the ledger, my masters gll, does] “bribe” come under? Shall I put it down to identals? Or maybe entertainment, or miscellaneous? Bribe is a horrid word, and I should have my mouth | washed out with soap for using it, but soap is so rare in mucheof Europe that maybe in the future we will have to wash our mouths with local currency.
it Goes Back to Soap IF A MAN TRAVELLING on company business can’t get his laundry done because he has no soap, is he justified in throwing away his clothes and | buying new ones each week? In that case, can I list my soap as the equivalent of six shirts at $5 each, six suits of underwear, 8ix pairs of socks, and | six handkerchiefs? 3 Go ask the brilliant alumni of Bretton Woods | about soap and cigarets and bars of stigar and chiclets. Ask them how you can protect the integrity | of the common laundry soap outside the soap bloc area. I am going to fire in my .swindle one of these days, gentlemen, but I warn you tha} you will be able to make nothing of it. It will be set down in pesetas and lire and pounds and francs and chewing | gum and cigarets, There will be days of expensive
living listed because of failure to bribe, and huge mighth Christian church's camera
savings because of shall we say, foresight? There will be sérvice charges and little vague items about which I will tell you when there are no witnesses present,
By Frederick C. Othman
“How about corns?” I asked. When they hurt, he said, they're an indication of | dampness, all right, but they do not give accurate data and no self-respecting weather man will admit |
he depends on them, or that he wears tight shoes before. Not in The Times contest, speed,
but while he was employed by the!lighting. So0'I relented and asked no more hateful questions. but. wis Gas & hon oye bh of
on purpose.
A SECOND - SECTION
i:
A
“PRIZE WINNER — This pholo of Marilyn Jo Cro,
student at School 50, was the filet prize winnef in last week's Times
Amateur Photo contest. The piture was snapped by Harold H. Crook, with a Bee Beef lense and using Super XX film.
a
"OQoooohhhhhhh''—A well-iced cake and little girl's curiosity provided the setting for an honorable mention picture story by Paul C. Brading, 1814 Ellen dr.
» » u ” ”
Winning Pictures Not New to Harold Crook; One of His Prints Used by Gas Co. Magazine
By ART WRIGHT being received will be published in The retiring president of the next Wednesday's Times. The deadline for this week's contest is midnight Friday. Photos brought to
club is the latest winner in The The Times or mailed by that time wh {Times Amateur Photo contest. }
will be eligible,
He is Harold H. Crook, 35 N. The contest will continue weekly
{Mount st., employed by P. R. Mal-| as long as suitable entries are re{lory Co. in the. cost department, ceived. Anyone is eligible and there {Plant 1.
are no entry. fees. The only restric The winning picture, snapped at tion is that entrants be persons
a Sunday school picnic on the Ar- whose chief source of. income is not |thur Hayes farm south of Bridge- derived from Piuotogeephic work. |port, caught the youthful freshness {of his, 13-year-old dunghtter, Mari-| ON THE ih of each picture Jo. must be written the photographer's
Although an amateur, Mr. Crook name, address, telephone number, been a prize contest winner type camera and flim used, shutter diaphragm opening, type
All pictures submitted become the
He appreciated this and he gave me some inside dope |}. photos was used on the front! property of The Indianapolis Times on the weather man’s problems, aside from the bad . ver of the utilities magazine is- and the decision of the judges is
jokes.
clouds. The weather bureau is worried abouf being sued for manufacturing rain to fall on people who | don’t want it. “I don't suppose we will ever lick this problem until we can produce square-shaped showers,” he said.
Snug Shoes Help HE THEN oR me the radio sonde; which is an automatic broadcasting station hitched to a big | white balloon, When the balloon explodes at a pre-|
determined height, the radio widget floats down under | Permit it to be uséd either as a cir-| “Lightning” jcular saw or a.jigsaw, and also for caught after two patrolmen chased
|sanding,
a red parachute. The weather bureau used to offer rewards for the return of its-machinery, but no more, because when a radio sonde hits the earth, nine times out df ten it's junk. Even Sp people ship back about half the busted radio sondes,” without rewards. My weather man undertook to explain the other apparatus de luxe and I'll pass along a sample bit of information about the recording pyrheliometer, which | measures the heat of the sun and keeps a record of it
_ in’ red ink. The weather bureau owns 60 of these and
the Miami Beach chamber of commerce is pondering purchase of another to let the folks know ahead oy time, hour by hour, how badly their noses will pee Science is wonderful. " : So are snug shoes, -r |
By Erskine Johnson
HOLLYWOOD, Sept. 24 Exclusively Yours: Jane Russell's new home in Sherman Oaks was to hdve cost $25,000, but already is past the $62,000 mark and isn't completed yet. The Knights in Bing Crosby's new version of “A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court,” will wear plastic armor to eliminate all that clanking. This is the third time the Mark Twain classic has been filmed. Will Rogers starred in the last.
Popcorn Menace Pops Up THAT POPCORN menace again. Mike Markham says he saw it on a northern California theater marquee: “Fresh Buttered Popcorn—Plus Two Features.” Ti Calvey, the French import who didn’t get
“the lead opposite Ray Milland in “Sealed Verdict,” Age Ang eff shoei. 267 My Ys 9G er Wome
tract to Paramount but there's nothing in sight for| her except dates with Bruce Cabot. Ben Bard's suggested title for the sequel to “The Jolson Story” is “I Remember Mammy."
Sign spotted by Harry Finer in a Hollywood deli- her, My brother knew that|/it is their own remorse of con-| didn't. science that causes them to act this! have fine qualities,” You, so look
way? I can't figure it any other for them:
catessen window: “Mother Wore Tights—8o Do Our Delicious Chicago Frankfurters.”
Vitamin-Enriched Tooth Paste SONNY TUFTS is investing some dough in an outfit that plans to manufacture vitamin-enriched toothpaste. Nestor Paiva and his wife announced the birtn of a daughter with a theater program reading: “Sen‘saticnal drama! ‘So Loudly I Wail! Continuous’ performances morning, noon and night! Bwiftly moving! Rapid changes!” Wb
taking hen to choir practice|
sued by the American Gas associa- final. Take dry ice which causes rain. when sprinkled on tion. y
Mail pictures to Amateur Photo fs x =» Contest, Indianapolis Times, 214 W. HE HAS been an amateur pho- Maryland st, Indianapolis 9.
tographer for 12 years The best photo of the week
The best photos of those curréntly wins $5
hop ‘Lightning’ Finally | Easily Converted Caught by Policemen |
WASHINGTON — A home shop] NEW YORK (U. P).—A youth| power tool has attachments that who could run so fast he was called by police finally was;
Shop Power Tool
buffing and him for 10 blocks. shaping. Admitting he had struck out once It has a rugged cast-iron base, too often, “Lightning” identified steel drive Shaft with ball bearings, himself as Kenneth Artis, 19, and
grinding,
and a removable saw table of confessed a .series of purse snatch-|
aluminum. ings in Central park.
Ask Mrs. Manners—
amera equipped with a Lessar 4.5 sure was |/50 second at f. :l|
"Mmmmmmmmmmmm — Mr. Brading's young model reaches for what should be a goodie,’ "eyeing"
WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 2 24, 1947
PAGE 18
aughter’'s Photo Taken ins Prize For Mallory |
3 yf 3: -year-old
her father,
i
' unaware that the camera's lense is her every move.
ww UNDER, WATER—John Shreve. 5079 E. St, Joseph st., earned honorable mention recognition for this under water | picture of a marine cameraman.
“HONORABLE MENTION—"Hooky" is the title which describes this honorable mention entry by Troy L. Veller, 1516 E. 10h st., who several weeks ago won the top prize. The picture was taken at Brookside park with a 2, x 3!/4 speed graphic camera using verichrome film, Exposure was 1/100 second at f. 5.6 in late afternoon, 3 ‘
At Picnic Employee
"Yummmmmmmmm''—My, but it's good,
and so is“the picture story for which Mr, Bradihg used a Bantam special camera. Exposure was |/50 second at 1. i,
a i BEST HUMOR—Topping. the week's
humorous pictures was this one by Richard W. Koss, 4124 Graceland ave, Exposure was 1/25 second at f. 6.3.
Brother’ s 2d Marriage Her Problem, She Seeks Advice
| Dear Mrs. Manners:
that I have been unable to solve. an active participant in the problem because he was reared| ‘by the same good Christian parents that I was. My married brother took up with a certain woman by|
his first wife had asked me to * try to persuade this second woman way. from going with him. I could not do the favor for my brother's first
‘wife because of illness. wife wrestle with their own conMy hrother and this second wife sciences — don't pass judgment. have made false accugations about | You, need, condone his dating
“WORRIED.”
a letter accusing me of trying tol but don’t pass judgment on him.
you I never so much as thought of| Your brother may have felt other at the church and married doing such a thing. Don't you think| wise. He lived with her — you
Let your brother and his second |
insinuations.
the matter of your brother's mar- ‘help it because
Frowns, shrugs and jam against her and that the olde: : ANE ’ : | disapproving eyes insinuate as [sister and I talk against her. I sister socially and conversation E are readers of The Times and are intetested In yOUT| uch as words. Consider as closed [know she’s very nervous. column. I hope that you can help me in this problem I feel that my brother is! riage. It is none of your business. get along, but “A’
and sister gossip. Include your
I can't ally—she needs you. You can’
“R” and. “A” don't indulge her to the point of spoil
* seems to, think 1 ing her, but you can make her a
| Make effort to become friends— know every move “R” makes, better “fellow” by casting forth | families shouldn't have law suits. | I don’t see “R" any more than, good fellowship in your own | “AY Then the next sister, “S,” is, character.
Your brother's first wife prob- | ably was a good friend of yours | and was your choice for him.
This second wife may
Discord in Home
| Her, “A
{about the same as “A.” The brother Try to hide the feeling that never comes to see me, {you do in a case like this? I love| friendly with the entire family, {my family but they won't let me be| A little kindness and small favors {nice to them,.except “R.” What's! {the matter with brother and how shall T treat them? Don't expect complete harmony Much Fire, No Smoke in a home housing several members—but strive for ‘it. I have three sisters and a brother., nately you realize that your sis- listed |The eldest, “R,” is a darling. We've| ter, “A.” is nervous. {always gotten along. The next sis-| worry and worry causes nerves. noises were issuing I can't seem to make] Perhaps her feat of being neg- ‘maple tref. Splitting he me for several years. He wrote me, a woman while he was married, friends with, I treat her kindly and| lected by her sisters has given her they found that the ‘appa rd gladly give her anything or do| bad nerves. Try to make her [sound tree was hollow and break wp his hope. I'm stating to Avoid ‘ssguments and make no for her—bus. phe -seomp 10. think 1 comforéable and is Ff. ee Tal
What do! “R” is your Havorite sister. Be
here and there soon endear you to and my, a person, rél; tive or otherwise,
mri Ls ates evens
"A" HS
OLEAN, N. Y., (U, P) Firemen “cause undetermined after Fear causes | investigating a report that cracking from 8
Fortu-
ro a