Indianapolis Times, Indianapolis, Marion County, 11 March 1947 — Page 15
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T ALWAYS SAY, treat someone decent and they'll treet you decent. 3 ils Take the local FBI agents for instance, Stay on the right side of the fence and you couldn't ask for a nicer bunch of men, About the other side of the. fence, I have nothing to say. ” When I walked into the office of the FBI in the federal building (hat in hand and wearing my “Innocent” face) all «I wanted was to have my fingerprints taken and sent to the civil fingerprint file In Washington, A good deal in case of disaster. “We'll be glad to fingerprint you,” said Norman H. McCabe, special agent in charge, after initial introductions were made. Listening attentively to Mr. McCabe, I soon was perfectly at. ease .in the FBI stronghold. It's easy, too. Even though my idea of FBI offices was smashed to smithereens, I wasn't disappointed before the “chief” was through with me. I fully expected tp see more law enforcement atmosphere areund.. .You know, pictures of crooks who have been put away, plenty of heavy artillery lying around, agents with Sherlock Holmes' pipes and magnifying glasses coming and going through secret, doors,. and- maybe an occasional “YES, I DID IT-—I stole” the Mulgoney diamonds.”
Sees Orderly Offices = *
INSTEAD, I saw orderly offices, busy clerks going through files, four secretaries who pounded typewriters at a terrific clip, and quiet interview rooms for agents.
ER
JUST FOR THE RECORDS—Can you find the points of bifurcation?
Inside Indianapolis
training scenes at the department's Quantico, Va., training school.
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I told Mr. McCabe that this was all fine but—but could he show me, as long as he was showing me the offices, something a little stronger. Something With the “cops and robbers” flavor. .He pointed out pictures of agents in various
The pictures were fine, but—and then I noticed Mr. McCabe smiling. He knew all the time what would fit the bill, And he was going to get to it— the gun vault, Now, here was real flavor. The gun vault is a huge safe. Mr. McCabe twirled the combination a few times and swung the door open. “Come on in,” he said. I walked in gingerly. The first thing I saw was a neat row of Thompson sub-machine guns (Tommy guns to detective-story readers), Mr. McCabe took one off the rack, checked it automatically, and showed me how it operates. Nice little weapon even without a clip &f 45's. Then. he showed me an automatic rifle for “distance” work. ‘I'm easy to convince. “Ah—but .the deadliest close-range weapon is still the plain old shotgun,” he explained. To me the weapon was a shotgun, but it was neither plain nor was it old. It might be said that the FBI uses pretty good equipment, _ “What are all those violin cases doing in here?” I asked. " \ “Those aren't violin cases,” he said taking one off a shelf, “they're gun cases, When we have to go on a job that requires a little shooting we don't like to dash out of here with guns slung over our backs. With the cases we don't attract too much attention. We look like musicians.” *%
Everything in Gun Vault
« THE. TOMMY GUN in the case wouldn't make the kind of fnusic I like. - The thought of the FBT playing a tune for me sent shivers up and down. my-spine. The gun vauit holds everything “agents might need |
binoculars; spy. glasses, handcuffs, ‘black jacks, “restraining kits” to paraphenalia I've never even heard about. They're loaded for action, those G-men. | We finally got to the fingerprint room. It's a simple and swift procedure. Thumb—roll on the ink | pad, roll on the paper—next finger. . The process is! repeated with ail the fingers invidually and all together. Nothing to it. You're on record in two
shakes of the ink tube. | ¢ lf : McCabe said, | ; pointing out points of bifurcation and deltas and stuff |
“We wouldn't make any mistake identifying you now—not with the.fingerprints,” Mr.
on the prints. It was all over my head but interesting.
“Anything else you'd like to see?” &
“Yes, the door leading out of here.” “Be good and come back,” Mr. McCabe said. Will do—will do. Especially the “be good” part.
} &
By Frederick C. Othman
N\ Supreme Insult —— WASHINGTON, March 11 (U. P.).—After 34 years of constant study ahd technical improvement, the Messrs, Ole Olson and Chick Johnson are pleased to
announce the insult ne plus ultra. There is none bet-
ter. Senators, beware. The Messrs, Olson and Johnson, as you know, have devoted their lives to throwing stuffed ducks at the customers (now they throw stuffed cows), delivering jibes and live poultry to the seat holders, and attempting in general to see how uncomfortable they can make their audiences. This has been a profitable undertaking. Theyre both millionaires.
‘Spiders,’ They Cried
I HAD TO SPEND the last couple of days in New York on an enterprise of my own. I had no intention of becoming entangled with Olson and Johnson, the Hellzapoppin partners I used to know in Hollywood. But I happened to be on the scene when they wrecked a radio program, caused the producer thereof to collapse, and sent the studio audience out into the night talking to itself. * The innocent citizens had sent their letters to the vadio folks, asking for seats in the Maxine Elliott theater for a look at one of these “We the People” broadcasts. Millions of others presumably were at the loudspeakers, waiting for words of wisdom. Olson and Johnson walked in, turned out the lights, and began throwing beans at the pew holders. “8-P-1-D-E-R-8,” Olson hissed. Must have sounded like a multiple murder program to the listeners. Then my favorite ruiners of the art of radio threw bananas at the audience and pelted same with hard-boiled eggs. They pushed a button which gave an unsuspecting lady a small shock and the screaming meemies.
| | _ The people who heard this—haw-—radio program |
could have had no idea what was going on. Neither |
did I.“ Time schedules went haywire, Olson and] ; Johnson's stooges now were whacking the people on! ;
the heads with bladders, and the producer in the control booth was passed out cold. He revived later, | muttering. | Olson and Johnson were not asked to appear again’ on the air, They got out of the theater, before they
were thrown out, and they said if T would come along,
they would show me their new insult de luxe. | 3
Double Dope -
TURNED OUT they operate in a whopping big | night club, lined with'-red plush, wheres they spend! hours nightly shooting the food out of the customer's |
Battle « For Britain
tain’'s fight for life are being fought on an down in the nation's coal mines.
taken at Betteshanger colliery, on the chahnel coast near Deal, show thre mén:and the manner in which they work to speed the flow of coal ta fuellsss homes, ta crippled in- : from revolvers, all types of cameras, tear ‘gas guns, Gur and to vital expors, ports. { duction to 200 million tons a year. {Although this would be only 6 million tons over, what. Britons conIsumed last year, it would top 1946 toutput by 11 million tons.
} 3
‘SECOND SECTION
The crucial battles of Great Briunderground front—deep
These’! exclusive new pictures,
Current goal is to raise coal pro-
ms 22 0 nrc LATA 0 y
IAA A G0
Scoreboard spurs men.
Pia s i Thisis the primitive pit.
Rr
Miners are clearing away a fall of stone. =
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These are the miners’ homes, with colliery seen in distance. YE
plates with pistols, leading livestock down the center! aisle, smearing rouge on the baldspots of the payees, and occasionally (twice an evening) chopping off, Chick Johnspn's arm because they can't find the key to his handcuffs. My friends learn the name of the most prominent citizen in the joint and if he happens to be Senator Huffenpuffer, they send out their makeup artist to look him over carffully. They they produce ‘an actor | on the stage a few minutes later, who looks like the |
senator. They introduce him as the senator. The | audience believes it and applauds respectfully. | While the real senator writhes silently in his!
chair, Olson and Johnson tell his double that he's a dope. They squirt him with seltzer,
Tells How Antique Clock |Neme Toastmaster Saved Man's Son from Nazi
Only Piece of Porcelain That Ever Did Anything for Someone, Collector Says
NEW YORK, March 11.—Philip
‘Freedom in Five Years, Says Former Russ Chief
Kerensky, Who Headed Soviet Revolution, Expects’ Decisive Changes Will Occur
« For AOH Breakfast
Frank J. McCarty, Washington, D. C, will serve as toastmaster for the annual St. Patrick's day break-
fast of the Ancient Order of Hibernians Sunday in the Murat temple.
By ROBERT RICHARDS Mr. McCarty, .. By ROBERT JOHNSON : A United Press: Staff Correspondent ! who is a native 3 Scripps-Howard Staff Writer . # B Colleck sat in his hooth at the of Indianapolis UNIVERSITY, Miss, March 11.—The man who gave the Russians left here two (00 much freedom in 1017 believes freedom. is still a Russian dream
subject him to Dational antiques show in Madison Square garden and stroked the
other indignities, and eventually snip his suspenders clock with sensitive fingers.
so his pants collapse. “The perfect insult,” Olso gloated. “Not a durn thing the poor guy down front can do about it.” Except sneak out, a beaten man. {
peta ———————— —-————
By ‘Erskine Johnson |
Its Richard Again
IH
HOLLYWOOD, March 11.—We wish we had time to sit down and figure out how many motion pictures (and press agents) have been affected by the song, “Open the Door, Richard.” Latest is about the movie, “The Long Night.” A very dramatic highlight of the film finds Henry Fonda barricaded in a house and refusing to give himself up to the police.
Outside. stands Barbara Bel Geddes, worked up to -
a dramatic dither, pleading with Henry to open the door. The climax is no place for a-laugh. Unfortunately, one comes with Barbara's line: : “Open the door, Joe.” . It's already on film, but may be cut. before the film's release, : . Inevitable Department: Esther Williams will write under water with one of those new fountain pens for a comedy Scene in “On An Island With You.”
iBone. Kelly awill_do_ an. intricate dance number atop. a cargo .crate as it's swung by-a-huge cians.
from ship to wharf in “The Pirate.” This should stop those rumors that Kelly might never dance again after his recent accident. He just sprained his ankle.
Judy Get Your Gun ; JUDY GARLAND, they say, will have the’ inside track on the Ethel Merman role when M-G-M films “Annie Get Your Gun.” Judy in “Annie” doesn’t make sense. That's like giving Margaret O'Brien the lead in a film version of Mae West's “Come On Up,” What's wrong with Ethel herself?
We, the Women
JIT'S A wise man who knows his own weakness. Like, for instance, the army corporal who asked for and -reeeived “along with his divorce -a- court order
forbidding him to marry for two years. Explained the corporal to the judge: “It's for my own protection. There are too many good-looking
. . women around here.”
Of course, the “protection” the corporal asked the court to give him is just a new slant on an old alibi.
Modern Defense
MARRIED ‘men who can't resist good-looking women have long used the excuse, “My wife won't divorce me,” when a conquest begins to hint at marriage. wie, bY "
‘MADISON, Wis, March Lampblack dropped from airplanes is’ being tested as a means of sav-
ing fish from drowning. The lampblack is to be dropped
when thick Ice
Each year experiments "are being tried on|tempted to give the clock
thousands ‘of fish literally drown largér lakes in Wisconsin by the|its original owner.” : prevents oxygen state conservation department after
11.— in the water below.
getting to the water. © Strips of lampblack, dusted, on
Howard Hughes is spending half a million dollars to sell sin. That's the advertising budget on the Harold Lloyd mevie, “The Sin of Harold Diddlebock."” |
And I'll predict right now that the film will bring (Was slipped info Germany and Harold back as one of the screen's leading comediaps. | there, too, it was maintained under
: Mr, Colleck explained. : : " |say, it has a guilty conscience. It he explained. Ronald Reagan, a captain during the war, will | gag first discovered in China, and conscience. play a sergeant in the film version of “Voice of the [ihe manufacturing secret was kept combination Turtle.” But the pay, brother, will be a lot better. |, der pain of death. |
“1t isn't the most expensive clock here,” Mr, Colleck said. worth around $2500. But it's the only piece of porcelain that ever | did anything for man—except look pretty.” The clock, made in 1770 at Meis- | — isen, Germany, was a dainty thing. that's worth $5000, and I've got a !Tt had the delicate figure of alot of other valuable things but! ~ |woman on one side of its face and [this clock is my best.” ltwo wrestling cupids on the other. | “There's a lot gbout porcelain, you said. And many things may be {see, that most people don’t know,” |lovely. :
“You might |
Pain of Death 2 “Then, around 1750, the secret
Producer Mike Todd played gin rummy until six Pain of death.”
o'clock in the morning, took a quick shower, ahd|
rushed to his office. By noon Mike was fading fast. lishman, patted the clock again.
“What's wrong?" asked his secretary. Said Mike: “I've!
got a rummy ache.” times,” he said, “when porcelain! . has given human beings a hard way | A Musical Oscar to go.
By 1948, you can expect to see the musicians in!
the film colony realize their ambition to have a sepa- lovely old clock.”
rate Oscar for the best musical film of the year, For |
ROW WICH“ Telfl Solxow, Story *-destinved io-be-on the year's biggest box office grossers, MINUS a best * picture nomination, there's more agitation than ever for the sgparate musical Oscar,
Mr.
“I expect there have been many
“But not this clock, sir. Not this
¢There was a time before the war,!
Ed (Archie) Gardner is Hollywoed's most unpre- With him.
dictable character. Other night a couple of baseball pals telephoned him just before his air show. Ed in-| vited them to the broadcast. Half an hour after the show, unmindful of what he had to do the next day,| Ed was on a plane en route to Phoenix to watch the boys in spring ‘training. | Says Ed: “I have an understanding wife.” | | |
By Ruth Millett |
The corporal has simply modernized that defense to “I'd like to marry you—but I can't marry ANY-|
BODY for a couple of years—court orders.” |
Married Man Holds Trump Card |
WOMEN, however, may resent the corporal’s.inno- | vation. They know the married man who plays around is likely to run’ for cover when a girl gets a serious, married-minded look in her eye. So when women try to grab off .a man who already | has a wife, they know he holds a trump card if he; wants to play it. | But there's something not quite sporting about an! unmarried man's holding the same trump in reserve. According to the time-honored rules of the game— a man without a wife is eligible, |
Frozen Lakes
lsuccessful trials on small plots.
bn ies-covered lakes to melt the the ice, are expected to attract the. move snow from fields in a similar
fee = .{ permit air to reach the fish sun's rays and fnelt the ice, The, project.
fans have used soot to re-{rom them. ;
Then Came War “They had to beg him to take it,” Mr. Colleck. “Imagine it. This lovely thing. He didn't want it at first.” Then came the war. The Nazis, They took everything that Mr. Husmuller owned. They took his son
= and placed him into a labor corps.
‘Keep It Myself’ “The son ran away,” Mr. Colleck said, “He came home, but the Gestapo trailed him. It meant death if he were taken. Old Husmuller went to the “Gestapo chief, taking <the clock with him. : “This is all that I have left, he sald. ‘Spare my son and you can send it to some of your high officials in Germany.'"” ; The Gestapo officer hesitated, but | he couldn't resist the porcelain | clock. “I'll keep it for myself,” he told Mr. Husmuller. “Take your son and the clock, and return home. When my time for leave comes up, I'll be over to collect it.” . : The Normandy invasion arrived before the Gestapo officer's leave. Clock Is My Best “Mr. Husmuller and his son, still carrying the clock, escaped to London,” Mr. Colleck said. "The, Dutchman was so grateful that he atback to, ’ } But the antiques firm bought it | instead, and Mr.’ Colleck bought it,
“It's my favorite piece,’ he sai |
“I've got a duke’s silver service
anywhere.”
Doctor to Operate To Fan Love's Flame
. tai | Colleck, a dark-haired Eng: Harry Whitemuller, 30. asked Cir- | Seven persons were killed yester|euit Judge Leonard C. Reid to help da When explosives being prepared
{him win back his estranged wife by finding a plastic surgeon whe could | | make him appear more youthfu and attractive. |
today from a Brooklyn, N, Y., phy-| F *’ sician who said that he would per-}-- President some reason, a musical never has won the award. when the Meissen clock rested nie, on ooeration free, in the in- signed a bill to require federal in-be--one-of-the_ windows of a famed London : : S antique dealer. Robert Hustler a rich collector from. the Nether|lands, bought it and took it home!
terest, of _damestig happiness. - Toe 'sgegtion and certification of strept-. and now are out-of Russia, all those | tionary. At means civil war in every - physicians nite Was" mop isciosed. fomyein: ~~ =" 7" . ~~ ; ¥
which will be realized. Give them five years, he says. position of special | Alexander F. Kerensky, who headed the Russian government during assistant to the the hundred days between the overthrow of the Crar. and the rule of president, Jegal | the Bolsheviks, says he “feels” and division of the {hopes that - decisive changes will Pennsylvania ral 0cCur in Russia within five years. road. | Profound dissat- ; A p p roximately ‘isfaction is domi-
1000 A.O.H. mem- Dant among Rus-
} 2 [bers are expected to attend the Sian. Sitgens and
'| breakfast and hear an address by, “Character and a james H. Crowley. Mr. Crowley, of | During the war,
You dont find that .poyr Horsemen" football fame atithe soldiers got running wild"— just|the University of Notre Dame, is/Out of the coun= now head coach and general man-/iry and saw for. ager of the Chicago Rockets of the | emseives that All-American Football conference, 4 official propa-
years ago to ac- |
IV's cept his present
! |
“They afe undergoing. reconstruce tion now, and it will be a tremendous work for many years. : “Foreigners frequently fail to dif ferentiate between Russia, the Rusmovement. . os “The Communist movement has nothing to do with war with this country or any other country. “The belief in Communistic ideas is stronger in France today than in Russia, because the Russian people have experienced it in practice,
Menace Not Military
'story of life outside Russia which| “The Communistic movement is ‘had been told them was not true.” a political - socialistic movement, Mr. Kerensky said he gets his in- {which works . through interior {formation from inside Russia and changes. : HE ' dump. \from former prisoners of war—| “All big ideas are international. | Poles, Jews, Lithuanians, Estonians In ‘Prance, the Communists do na | —who were arrested and exiled to See Thorez as the agent of North Russia and Siberia. imperialism, but
U.P) th as fue. agentaf (U. P.)—| Pm ‘|the. Communist. In : kL yesterday | People Tell the Truth a o 15 DOS,
Anything can be old, Mr. Colleck
Mr. McCarty
“But this clock’s got character,
ganda was a lie,” he said. “They (uv. Pp). found that the
{SEVEN DIE IN BLAST WASHINGTON, March 11 (U.p,).| PRAGUE, March 11
Mr. Kerensky
for blasting the Danube ice jam were “detonated near a munitions
Judge" Reid received a telegram REGULATES STREPTOMYCIN CHICAGO, March 11 Truman - “The Communist menace
“The thousands who lived there military, but political and revolue
yr re. WA TR te NG ens CR aaa a +: body knows for ‘Sure, ho tie TR | vporiy pis, In ied Con {sti : [prophesy historical events, but can! so elopment, Mr. Kerensky sald, feel that this change is coming. puare war facilitates movements Whee by. evo of eV of hu arene right o Jf The: The Russian people, he said, want a am and to be free and organize a decent mp. coiem to Italy, pt, life. “They want to be secure from Mr. Kerensky, who is a Socialist, permanent fear of the secret police | cig he tried to give to Russia & oxtes concentration camps, labor democratic government, like that of “It is a human desire, and the hie: Unltea States: but ithe bile: Russian people have it like anyone They didn't want any , else.’ . ; The real cause of his | " New Hardship downfall, he said, was the question Adding to the uncertainty of the of war or peace... poli |situation today, he said, fs new|’ Mr. Kerensky was trying fo keep hardship. “They are on the eve of Russia in the war against Germany, new famine and starvation,” he ‘peace ment said. “The papers are just, now ‘carried stories about if, but T re[ceived the news from several sources "two months ago. i | Mr. Stalin, Mr, Kerensky said, He. 'does not have a “personal, individ-! 'dual dictatorship.” Power is con!centrated, he said,’ in, the political} {bureau of the Central Communist mittee, a group of 14 men. Russia is ruled by a "collective dic-' ‘tatorship.” / Tt | Mr. Molotov is “a typical Ne, 2 man, a ‘ves man,” Mr. Kerensky said. If anything should happen to Mr. Stalin, he ‘said, the “Iptured gy ‘ahead of the bureau will be somé (other man-—nobody knows who #xss ‘cept the committee.”
err
By Dick Turner
Lua
Carnival —
ig 1947 BY NEA'SERVIOE, INC. T. M. REG, ® "Stay outa tattoo joints, son—look what happened fo me. ONG when | asked for a schooner done on'my chest!" %
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