Indianapolis Times, Indianapolis, Marion County, 3 January 1940 — Page 10

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Fair Enough

By Westbrook olor

Wherein Mr. Spelvin 'Dies' After That New Year's Party and Maybe Learned a Lesson—Until Next Time.

EW YORK, Jan. 3.—This body ain’t alive. Hands cold. No sensation in feet. In fact, probably

paper Alliance, NEA Service; and Audit Bureau of Circulation.

cents a month. RILEY 5551

Give Light and the People Will Find Their Own Wg

WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 3, 1940

CONGRESS—AND OUR 80-BILLION COUNTRY

YEAR ago in his message to Congress President Roosevelt said: “We want to get enough capital and labor at work to give us a total turnover of business, a total national income, of at least $80,000,000,000 a year. At that figure we shall have a substantial reduction of unemployment, and the Federal revenues will be sufficient to balance the current level of cash expenditures on the basis of the existing tax

structure.” » ” 8 2 2 J

Today, as Congress convenes again and the President delivers another annual message, business is progressing at a rate which, if continued all year, would actually make ours an 80-billion-dollar country. Whether there will be any such sustained improvement over the 12 months ahead, of course, ‘depends largely upon events on the other side of the world, over which Congress has no control. But it depends also, to a great degree, upon what Congress does or does not do. Events over there already have compelled our Govern-

ment to step up its spending for defense purposes, and if

the over-all “current level of cash expenditures,” of which

- Mr. Roosevelt spoke last year, is to be maintained, ‘Congress must make corresponding reductions elsewhere in the national budget. That will not be easy in an election year. And the sad truth which Congress and the Administration face is that, come war or peace, even an 80-billion-dollar national income will not solve our problems. . Though -the country is now doing business on that scale there remain some 8,000,000 American workers who cannot find jobs. Of these some 6,000,000 represent the younger workers who have come of employable age s since the big dsprdslon hit a decade ago. 2 » » Eighty-billion-dollar turnovers may have given us prosperity in the Twenties, but, with technological changes and a larger and still growing population, if we are to have - “good times” in the Forties we'll have to go on to 90 billions and 100 billions and beyond. There is no other way to provide jobs for all who want. work. Toward that goal, toward restoring commerce and enterprise to carry the country forward, let Congress set its sights. That’s a far larger objective than election day next November.

“OUR SEA”

A RECENT Reader’s Digest reprinted this ane ote from “The Garden of Fidelity” (Macmillan), by Flora Annie Steel: “While the captured German’ fleet lay in Scapa Flow, ‘an English quartermaster was posted on each vesel. To one of these, leaning over the taffrail, came a German quartermaster. “ <I sinks nosing of your ships, quoth he. The Englishman did not reply. ‘And I sinks nosing of your officers, your Jellicoes, your Beattys...” Overcome by his feelings, the German spat over the rail. Whereupon the Englishman turned and said clamly: “‘Now! Look ‘ere. I don’t care wot you lbs about our ships, our sailors and our officers. But doit you go spittin’ into our sea! ” It seems that Jim Farley has made the mistake of using “our sea” for the transportation of United States mails. And Great Britain, as owner and prop. of said sea, hes grabbed off a lot of American mail bound for Germany. of this mail probably was allowed to go onlfo its destination, eventually, but many Americans in Germany and ‘elsewhere were meanwhile inconvenienced and worse.

2 8 =

War is war, and the amenities cannot always be ob-.

served. But this illegal, high-handed, eo and almost contemptuous interference with the United States mails i is entirely out of order.

REGRETS IN ORDER | T this writing the R. S. V. P. returns are not all officially in, on that Jackson Day dinner invitation to the Republican Party leaders. But we suggest that there are many polite and nonetheless firm ways to get out of attending. One can be ill, or absent from town, or have a previous engagement, or even be “in conference.” While our advice hasn't been asked in this | matter of

social propriety, we venture to suggest unanimous declina- |

tions. Not that we suspect that there would be ground glass in the soup. But, after all, this is a two-party system. If the individuals invited were really suffering from hunger, it might be different. We shouldn't let anybody starve. But they have their salaries, and, traditionally, Republicans are better fed, clad and housed than Democrats. And while they have come upon lean years of late, nevertheless it would be better to stay with hot dogs and hamburgers and retain their identity than to sell whatever souls they may have been able to retain for a mess of $100 pottage. We know it will be hard self-denial but it wht be 200g politics.

THREE LYNCHINGS : | '\HALK up to the credit of that tragic old year of 1939 one real ‘advancement i in civilized conduct: | In the whole of the year in the whole of the United States there were only three lynchings. | . That’s three too many, but it’s three less than in 1938, five less than in 1937, five less than in’ 1936, ali 17 less than in 1935. “The better record of 1939 wasn’t due nec sarily to fewer crimes, nor to the diminution of the lynching spirit. In the course of the year 25 persons were saved from mob violence by officers of the law. - It may be that law officers performed their duty better last year because of the threat of Congress to puset a Federal sks ynching Law penalizing communities and local offihere lynchings occur. Whatever the cause the result Ee elnin. |

\ fio as lia

| no feet at all.

Can’t say for sure if there is any ‘feet. If there’s feet and the body is alive why don’t the toes wiggle when you wiggle them? Eyds shut tight. If it’s alive why don’t it face the world this glorious New Year's morn? New Year’s morn. That's

a hot one. How do you know it’s the morn? How do

you know it ain't 4:05 in the afternoon? .

Well, Spelvin, here you are again. George Spelvin positively is going to sit home and read a book until

midnight, then drink positively just one toast, then

smash the glass and start the New Year right. George Spelvin answers phone and says, no thanks, he positively can’t join them this New Year's Eve. What a liar that Spelvin was. Not so much a liar as just no character. No will power. So there he is at midnight, screeching like a tomcat and doing feats of strength. Telling those dumb stories over for the thousandth time. ; Thousandth time. Thousandth thime. Thame thory thouthandth thime, Thpelvin. And his patient, unfortunate wife saying, “Dear, why don’t you stack

every other one behind the clock? You sure you feel

all right?” 2 8 = #8 ; HO me? I never felt better in my life. Now don’t bother about me. Don't be counting drinks on me. Don’t be a drink-counter, my pet.” “Dear. Please don’t tell that one again. They've all heard it, I'm sure, and anyway it isn’t very nice.” Well, this is a break for her, Spelvin. Now, maybe she will meet some nice mug that really deserves a queen like that. Spelvin, I suppose you realize you never made home last night? Or anyway that night. You know. New Year's Eve, 1940? You must have folded yourself away on those people in their house. This must be a guest room. If the body had any life in it you could open one eye and take a squint-see. But this certainly ain't your own bed, Spelvin. Where do you suppose your loving wife is, Spelvin? Probably home where she belongs and when you call up she will probably feel sorry for you, and make you feel more of a heel. : ” 8 2 * UT this time. That was the time you didn’t come to. So they gave you the standard No. 5 funeral, complete with six hacks and a portable stained glass window |in the parlor, price $600 and positively no extras. And now she is married again to a very nice, sober fellow in Sioux City. And your chlidren, for the first time in their lives, know what it is to have a father with character and will power. _ Oh, that was several years ago. The oldest one is in college now. They dropped the name of Spelvin, you know, and took the name of this nice, new, respectable stepfather. ’ Feel how cold the hands are. Nothing that cold can be alive. I think one eye-lid just fluttered, Spelvin. That pain like an icé pick in your eye wag the glorious light of the glad new year. Yes, her you are again, Spelvin, and a happy New Year to you. And now hoist that big stupid carcass out of there and get along, you dope.

Inside Indianapolis

The Weather Man Has to Wear His:

Overshoes When the Missus Says So.

HESE zero mornings are just as distressing to the weather man as they are to the rest of us. J. H. Armington, who does. our forecasting doesn’t like ,cold weather either, but there’s not much he can do about it. As a matter of fact, his record is a pretty ood one. It has to be. The U.”S. Department of Agriculture, which hires him, insists that certain forecasting percentages be maintained. It’s got to be well above 80%. The individual batting averages of the forecasters are not made public, but it is checked upon regularly by the Department. Mr. Armington lives out on (oddly enough) Arlington Ave. Mrs. Armington has been known, in direct violation of a forecast of showers, to sprinkle her flowers thoroughly on a summer day. She also has been known to prevail upon Mr. Armington to wear his rubbers to the office when the forecast clearly said only partly cloudy. He wears them, too, but he won’t talk when you you ask him what Mrs. Armingion's percentage is as a forecaster. ” ” ” THE FEMININE CONTINGENT of those attending English’s the last few nights have been gasping in admiration at the gown which Miss Constance Bennett wears in the third act... . It probably will comfort them to know that it was designed by Hattie Carnegie and cost a cool $750. . . . Speaking of entertainment, you'll probably be interested to know

that a survey of radio listeners has disclosed! drastic

change in listening habits here. . . . Last spring WLW held first place. . . . Now WFBM and WIRE have passed the Cincinnati station. . . . You may have heard that the ‘Symphony concert next Saturday night starring Jascha Heifetz is sold out. . . . There is a chance that the Friday afternoon performance also will be a sell out. . If that happens it will be the first time they’ ve had a complete two-day sell out. > 2 #2 = : ALREADY HEARD that the City has on its gasoline by the bulk purchasing ne of the interesting developments in

YO saved $3 method. the matter is the way the bids came in. ... When the boards used to advertise for bids, they'd receive three, four, or at the most; five bids. .+.. A lot of com=panies wouldn't bid, working on the theory that the matter was closed anyway. . . . But on the bulk basis, - they consider they have a fair shot and 18 of them bid. . . . The State House is not fooling when they say you have to have your poll tax receipt before you get your driver’s licénse. . . ,

Not even the politicians are getting away without it.

. . Oral Teter, the barber on Kentucky Ave. adds a commentary on our weather. . . . He says that business is terrible in zero weather. . . He thinks that people are afraid to have their hair cut for fear they’ll catch cold.

A Woman's Viewpoint By Mrs.- Walter Ferguson

A NOTED psychologist urges women to let careers alone until the age of romance passes, which seems about as practical as telling us to make our dress befofe we decide upon its pattern. It's funny— the way we talk about careers for women. One might suppose they were something bought in a shop -or picked up on the highway. “You can have a career”—we're forever saying to the giSls—“or you can be married. Which shall it be, Miss? Make your choice.” “Marriage,” we g0 on, “is. the hest thing for you. However, if you can’t make the grade, a career is also nice. You will enjoy it.” And so we describe the

business of a career to the poor questing lassies as if

it were some fruit, theirs for the plucking. Yet every adult knows well that careers are only to be had after hard years of study and preparation. The successful businesswoman starts from her gradeschool days to lay the foundation for her future. If she waited for the age of romance to pass before preparing herself she would have a slim chance to get ahead in any profession or trade. In fact, neither preacher, economist nor psychologist has yet been able to solve the problem confront-

| ing modern girls, which when boiled down amounts to

this: If,you don’t prepare for marriage, how can yo be sure you will make a good wife? If you do prep for maniate, how can you be sure you will get your A pretty pickle—but one which every maiden of this day and age faces. And unless she gets a little practical aid from her seniors, can we expect her to make a wise decision?

Men must give some thought to this problem. It

4Asn’t a matter which concerns women alone. Being the potential mothers sof tomorrow, girls are the standard-bearers of American democracy, and therefore whatever affects’ them affects the w. tion.

\

OPENING

’

[ahomet Comes to the ESSION i

The Hoosler Forum

I wholly disagree with what you say, but will defend to the death your right to say #.—Voltaire.

THINKS TIME HAS COME FOR DECISION ON 3D TERM By Out-of-Patience : Most people love a good mystery, but they like to reach the solution before the intricacies of the plot bore them to death. Most of us have enjoyed the suspense of the third term issue. Everyone has ventured a qualified prediction, even if he had no more to go on than the number of prunes in the President’s breakfast dish. But interest is beginning to thin, and irritation is likely to set in at any moment. The fun of speculating is wearing out. The time is over-ripe for an announcement. The jokes are getting hollow, and the candidates who are waiting feverishly to try for ‘their first term are getting sulky. It is just about time for us to reach the climax, whether the answer is yes or no. We're going to have to know sooner or later anyway. : ” 2 #®

THINKS WE LEARN LITTLE FROM HISTORY ByL.V. Well, Voice a the Crowd, may the New Year be a prosperous one for you and—sabove all—a happy one. I shall locate that book you mentioned when I get time. But you certainly said it! Nothing really changes. Our habits, instincts, ideas, opinions, ourselves do not change. Or, if we should, the change is made so late that it’s no longer worth while. A few words have changed here and there—and mighty small ones at that. It seems people just go|™ on being impressed by our blessed political leaders and that’s about all. Of course, that’s not new, either. For instance—the Egyptians had a WPA program when they constructed their pyramids, sphinxes, obelisks, etc. Under a like program Crete built stone and cement roads more than 4000 years ago. So did the Romans. Roman roads were so well made that some are still in use. oo 0 For Rome, Augustus was a great public spender. It was he who boasted of finding Rome a city of brick and leaving it a city of marble, In the ancient city of Tyre, Pericles worked on the public’s treasury. In his hook, “Western Civilization,” Cunningham says, “Pericles,

(Times readers are invited to express their views in these columns, religious controversies excluded. Make your letter short, so all can have a chance. Letters must be signed, but names will be withheld on request.)

in endeavoring to find profitable employment for people, deliberately turned their energies to unproductive public works. The wealth of the city was locked up in forms that were artistically superb, but economically useless.” That is the inevitable of capitalism—the death of an empire. After serving its -purpose it passes away in natural death. Just like any other living organism. We of today have

a few advantages over our ancient|jzeq

predecessors. Those - people of the dead civilizations lacked automatic machinery, mass production, quick transportation and instantaneous lines of communication such as we have today. Here are the fundamentals for an entitely new social order.

But should one advocate a change he is in for it—condemned inl such a way that life is hardly worth while. Don’t ever think of anything). new! That's out! But it does seem strange to find our political leaders have learned so little from the earlier cycles of civilization. :

LARGER DISTRIBUTION OF PROFITS URGED By Sideline Mourner, Edinburg, Ind. Not all the unrest in the world today is caused by cunning dictators.

‘This economic distress which the

civilized world has undergone the last 10 years has been brought on by a number of conditions. The most prevalent of these is the exploitation of labor under the present capitalistic system of profits for the chosen few. There can be no great improve-

ment in business as a whole until labor can buy the products of labor. Labor should have a just annual wage which is more than sufficient for the barest of necessities of life.

body and soul together is an absolute shame in a country which is supposed to be Christian and civilWe need both capital and labor but there should be a more equal distribution of the profits. Unless this is done in the near future, the

failure. : Th = WELL, IT'S PRETTY HARD TO PLEASE EVERYBODY By Just Wishing Business men would like the Government to remove “red tape” from tax reports. Most of us would also

taxes.

like Uncle Pe to remove the

New or the Library

RISCILLLA HOVEY . WRIGHT speaks from the fullness of her heart and experience in “The Car Belongs to Mother” (Houghton) when she describes the trials and tribulations of the young matron who spends her days and often far into her nights acting as chauffeur to her family, friends, and acquaintances. From the time when, in the early morning hours, gulping the last bite of a hurried breakfast, snatching Junior from his* high chair, not waiting to wipe from his face the traces of his oatmeal porridge, calling out last instructions to the older children, she jumps into the car to drive her husband to| the train, her day is one long mad whirl.

Side Glances—By Galbraith

SERVICE, INC. T. M. REG. U. 8. PAT. OFF.

$40.8 NEA SERVICE, We. 70. W830. 8. PAT. O

“What s that, dear? You say you've just ripped the front and it's my fault foryiisistipg thet you learn how to

f

Ree “a fender off rive?”

She transports her children to and from school, dancing classes, dentist; drives herself to market, picking up pedestrians who seem so readily to acquire the habit of lying in wait for her. (“Give a pedestrian an inch,” says Mrs. Wright, “and he takes the whole back seat!”) She makes countless trips to club meetings with the back seat of the car laden with either bridge tables or plump club members who always live on the most inacessible streets. (“Women should go into club work with their eyes open and a tank full of gasoline” is Mrs. Wright's advice on this point.) Fortunately for her family and doubly fortunate for her readers, Mrs. Wright is endowed with a keen sense of. humor, which she has managed to preserve however severe the strain put upon it. The result (is that she has written a book which is guaranteed to delight all women, for she describes experiences common to all members of the feminine sex. - Men will find it equally enjoyable, for she does not hesitate to poke fun at the limitations of women as drivers, a subject which always strikes .in them a sympathetic cord. The book is a perfect antidote for the poisons of our present-day world. )

VICTORY By JOSEPHINE DUKE MOTLEY

Now runs the frightened rabbit through the snow Tracked by’ the huntsman with his loaded gun, Forced to his fragile lair, which all - men know To be as shabby as a mirthless pun.

|Now comes the victor back ‘from

—

his long quest, A man, a rabbit slung across his shoulder. Who wears the laurel now, dead or life's guest Doomed to grow colder, bolder, older?

DAILY THOUGHT

If that nation, against whom I have pronounced, turn from their evil, I will repent of the evil that I thought to do unto them.—Jeremiah 18:8. :

EPENTANCE is the heart's sor-

Zow, and @ clear life ensuing.

A mere pittance which just holds|

capitalistic system is doomed W

Gen. "Johnson Says—

Agrees in v the Main With Book Wo, Oswald Garrison Villard Whe Finds u.’s. Lacks Definite Defense Policy.

ASHINGTON, Jan.

3-1 frequently do not agree ie

with Oswald Garrison Villard. I emphatically a2 do not agree with many of the things seid in his latest:

book, “Our Military Chaos.” Nevertheless, I think it should be widely read as one of the most important recent contributions to one of our most important

_| problems—national defense.

I'can’t support many of his conclusions, but I have

{ long supported his principal one—which is that we

need an impartial non-partisan, extra-governmental :

commission to look into this question. ; + In summing up his own book, he says—in the main, truly: “It has shown (1) that we have no de=.

{ fense policy whatever; (2) that all our expenditures

bear no relation whatever (2) to an established mili= ¥ tary program; (3) that we are asking the impossible -

of the Army and Navy since we do not tell what to. defend or how or where to defend it; (4) that there: can be no adequate defense policy set up until there is a decision as to what our foreign policy is to be, une til our objectives are defined; (5) that the primary defense problem for the United States is as to whether we are only to defend our shores or prepare again to fight abroad; (6) that, because of the failure to des fine what we shall defend, our policies, notably in the

Pacific, vary from year to year, almost from hour to

hour; (7) that until that. is settled we are adding to our vast expenditures without the slightest guarantee that those outlays make for a saner or better defense . «5 (8) that there are grave faults in the organization of the War and Navy Departments, and (9) that they fail to co-operate with each other; (10) that ale though no less than seven billions have been spent for defense since the fiscal year 1934-35 the. War Departe ment admits amazing shortage in supplies of fundae mental importance; (11) that there is no hope of bale ancing a normal budget without putting a definite limit to the increase of Army and Navy expenditures now fast approximating two billions of dollars, etc.” : * = = Fe |

HERE is no room here to point’out some of the inaccuracies, over-emphasis and conclusions in this catalog, which I would have to do before giving it my full accord, but, in a general way, I strongly ieel

that the book does bring ample documentation and authority to establishing what he here says it proves.

Gen. Marshall, Chief of Staff, has just said that in

| spite of these billions, our defense is not 25 per cent

He charges it to the historians and he is

effective. !

right in his reasons, but there are other culprits. would shudder to see a careful compilation of parative unit costs—per soldier or per ton of shi ing —as between our own and the armies and navies of alb other nations. It would shock the country. | 8» : T is no fault of Army and Navy officers. It is true that Congress has not recently been niggardly, but

| there are plenty of reasons in (Congress and politics

for this extravagance. It didn’t make so much difference in former years that we paid more than was necessary for defense. We had the money and the need was less. That

longer true. We must have an adequate defense, but soon| we will have to list all our “musts” on a piece of fo Te ask what we are going to use for money, and, d on some priorities and many economies, A co sion inquiry is imperative. : <

Neutrality By Bruce Catton |

Isolationists Ready for Battle bh Foreign Issues. i in New elt (Fifth of a Series)

iat ASHINGTON, Jan. 3.—The isolationist bloc 1a Congress emerged from the last session bl but unbowed. They are right back this wintér to serve notice that all issues defining’ American re with the Futopean. war are by no means settled,

pealed they would demand adoption of oe Bone Bill; . This bill originally had the sponsorship of 50 St ators, and would practically tax war profits out: existence. There is also the chance that any attempt to dispose of American merchant vessels made idle by neutrality law’s cash-and-carry section will raise a rumpus. The proposed transfer of eight of these shi to Panama a month or more ago, raised a great deal of dust, and later proposals to sell them to Gre t Britain or Norway will be scanned closely. |

The isolation group is a minority, but it is a sblent- 2

less and watchful minority. Any effort, for instance, to get around the Johnson Act in order to make loans for European coubtries, will get a quick once-over by this group. This act forbids loans to any country now in default of obligations to the United States, That includes most of the countries now at ware 8 n ”

Arnold Between Two Fires

Assistant Attorney General Thurman Arnol S ree quest for more money for anti-trust prosecu will: meet loud opposition. The American Federation of Labor feels that Arnold has trodden heavily on its toes. in his anti-trust prosecutions and threats of p BU tion, and the A. F. of L. lobby is still strong. | : Having swallowed the Hatch (clean politics) Bill more or less against its will last winter, Congr nay. pass the same dose along to the states this winte Senators Hatch and Neely have proposals - political activity to state officials in the same which the Hatch bill now bars it to Federal

holders.

Is.

This proposal is in for rough sledding, many Congressmen are beneficiaries of the

state machines, and will think twice before roving 4

a wrench into them. NEXT—The Dies Committee. : |

Watching Your Health

By Jane Stafford

- GOOD many grandmothers these days have

both surprised and shocked to see their grande

children fed bananas at a very young age. Bananas,

according to a mistaken idea held by previous: gen :

erations, were indigestible, especially for children. ~The fact of the matter is that bananas are ‘well digested, even by small children, when the fruit is thoroughly ripe. The ripeness is important and calls

for some care on the part of the housewife oad vhen x

home. while they are still green, even for local 3 in the tropics where they grow. You can tell a ripe banana by the brown flecks on the yellow skit, - and by the absence of any green, even at the Wi During the ripening process, the statch int is converted into sugar, making it more digestik It is a mistake to put them in the refrigerator bes fore they are fully ripe, because the low temperature, prevents proper ripening and spoils the flavor. Bananas should be thoroughly chewed, and ‘when : #iven to small children it best to mast them ups: thoroughly or press them through a sieve. When they are not entirely ripe, bananas can, according to some authorities, be safely eaten if they are cooked, for example, in fritters, or baked. either in or out of the skin. The energy value of a medium sized banana is about the same as that of a large orange, 1 Besides their high carbohydra: contain minerals and vitamins 4, C, B and G.

Their Sat and protein Santen: low AE

¥ Jum b te content, bananas =