Indianapolis Times, Volume 48, Number 50, Indianapolis, Marion County, 8 May 1936 — Page 21

If Seems ioMe HEmD BROUN YORK, May B.—The presidential campaign, which promised for a while to be a grudge fight, grows folksier and folksier every day. Already Gov. Landon has a back porch, an icebox and Bruce Barton. Mrs. Landon has a harp, and that instrument is going to know it’s been in a battle before the ballots are counted in November. No delegation will be allowed to leave Topeka until it has heard "By the Waters of Minnetonka." Poor, unfortunate Mrs. Landon must strum her Angers to the bone because Pa happened to catch the passing nod of William Randolph Hearst. If Bruce Barton is half the

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publicity man I think he is, a screen will be set up in the executive offices in Kansas and Mrs. Landon will sit behind it waiting for music cues. “A delegation to see you, Governor, from the American Federation of Labor. These gentlemen want to find out what your attitude is in regard to the shorter working week." n n n Good, Honest Labor “pome in, boys; delighted to see Vj you. Make yourselves at

Hcywood Broun

home. Fred, see what kind of a 5-cent cigar the boys would like. Well, it certainly is nice of you fellows to drop in on me like this for a little chat. I always say there’s nothing like labor—good, honest labor. By the way, how would a glass of buttermilk go just now? I always say there’s nothing like buttermilkgood, honest buttermilk. Particularly if you’re thirsty!" The spokesman of the delegation clears his throat and says, “Governor, we want to get from you a definite answer ” At that moment the room is filled with harp strains. The phrase “definite answer” has been agreed upon by the Landons as always constituting a song cue. But the face of Alf clouds. There has been a little mistake in the signals. Mrs. Landon is playing “I've Been Working on the Railroad, All the Livelong Day.” The Governor rushes behind the screen. “Quit it, Ma,” he whispers; “you got the wrong selection. That’s the one for the National Manufacturers’ Association. This is the American Federation of Labor." Quick as a flash Mrs. Landon switches to “I Wanfrto Be Lazy,” and the day is saved. “I always say, boys, there’s nothing like music—good, honest music. Drop in and see me again. Now that you know the way, don’t be strangers. Anything you want to know I’ll be glad to tell you. Good-by.” u n u “Bird in a Gilded Cage” I, \TOW, Ma. let's see what we’ve got on the schedLN ule. The National Manufacturers’ Association —that’s set. The D. A. R.—what have you got for them? ‘Red Sails in tne Sunset’—very good. ‘Sail, Navy, Down the Field’ for the Bigger and Better Battleship League. Now, the crowd of school teachers that come after them are pretty sure to ask me what do I think of William Randolph Hearst. How are we going to meet them?” There is a moment of silence which indicates that Mrs. Landon is thinking, and then she begins to play. “Why, of course, Ma—‘l Guess I’ll Have to Telegraph My Baby.’ ” But when the last delegation has gone and the night letter from San Simeon has been read and digested I think that sometimes Mrs. Landon will play for the Governor’s ear alone, and Alf M. Landon will sit and nod his head as she twangs “I’m Only a Bird in a Gilded Cage.” “You said it. Ma.” (Copyright, 1936)

G. O. P. Figures Out Theoretical Victory BY RAYMOND CLAPPER WASHINGTON, May B.—lt looks easy. Take one-sixth o£ the votes that Roosevelt received in states which he carried in 1932. Shake them up well. Put them down to cool on the Republican side. Then by next November you will have .283 of the most welcome Republican electoral votes you ever saw, which is 17 more than enough to haul the Grand Old Party in out of the rain. • You can figure it out for yourself. That’s what the Republican National Committee experts have just done and they’re cheered up no end. Now all they have to do is to find out how to get one-sixth of those votes away from Roosevelt. Os course, you ought to be warned that in 1928, after Smith escaped with only his shirt, it was figured out that 300,000 or so votes—maybe it was 500,000 —shifted in the right places, would have elected him. They also figured how, by a similar switch of a small number of votes, it would have been easy in 1932 for Hoover to have beaten Roosevelt. The only difficulty was that Hoover didn’t beat Roosevelt. They haven’t yet been able to tell what could have been done about that. You might naturally think that the Republicans are copying from the enemy. They hired a Brain Trust. Now they are arranging to have the winner of the Republican presidential nomination go to Cleveland and accept his honor before the national convention breaks up, as Roosevelt did at Chicago in 1932, and as has been announced for the Philadelphia convention this year. While all of this may look like imitation, Republican National Committee headquarters denied that it is. As to the Brain Trust, Chairman Fletcher himself said it really wasn’t one, although unfortunately it proved to have more brains than had been ordered. Ar to the notification ceremonies, Republican headquarters can cite a string of precedents that is \s long as your arm, if your arm isn’t very long. There are just three. They happen to be Democratic precedents, but the Republicans are not following the two Roosevelt precedents. They are following the John W. Davis precedent. * * a DAVIS, hard by in Wall Street when nominated at Madison Square Garden in 1924, promptly appeared in the convention and accepted in one of the graceful after-dinner speeches in which he excels. Remember, it’s the Davis precedent, not Roosevelt’s, that is being followed. Davis, although a Democrat, is fundamentally sound, and his example is safe for the Republicans to follow, in the absence of a Republican precedent. ' When Harding was nominated in 1920, he was in Chicago and rushed to the convention hall, but not to accept the nomination. He went there for a back-room huddle over the vice presidential nomination. The senatorial bloc which put Hardnig over agreed to name Senator Lenroot of Wisconsin as his running mate, but unfortunately a stampede for Coolidge developed and he was nominated. So Harding might as well have gone into the convention hall and made his acceptance speech. The railroads are about to open up a gigantic advertising campaign, costing close to $1,000,000. It was decided upon at a recent meeting of the Association of American Railroads. Mainly, it will be institutional advertising, designed to set forth to the public the achievements of the railroads—and to head off legislation in Congress pointing toward government ownership. At the same time the Transportation Association of America also is conducting a publicity campaign to show the country how Canada drifted unawares into government ownership. When any one is sold on Harry Hopkins, he stays sold, apparently. An Eastern lawyer, visiting in Ariaona, fell into conversation with an 82-year-old New Dealer. “Dad,” he said, “did you hear about the latest boondoggling project? Harry’s going to repaint the Grand Canyon.” The old-timer, sticking by his guns, replied: “Well, by golly, it needs it."

The Indianapolis Times

LIVING IN A HOUSE ON WHEELS

Even Children Thrive on Adventurous Life in Trailers

herewith the flfth of a eeriei on anto trailer*. BY GEORGE H. DENNY we obeyed that impulse, bought a house trailer and announced that we would live in it for six months or a year a few friends and relatives began to take us aside and explain that they weren’t worried about us, but how about the children? It wasn’t fair, they indicated, to subject a boy of 4 and a girl of 18 months to traffic dangers, cramped and bouncing quarters, doubtful food and polluted water just to satisfy an irresponsible urge to fish and loaf and breathe strange dust. We appreciate their intentions. They may be right. Two months is too soon to tell. But the children have gained weight, tan and teeth and eat and sleep like little animals. The worst tragedy traceable to trailer life happened yesterday. My son picked up a small crab. There was a lot of hollering but no real damage. Possibly the best way to picture this breezy, rolling life is to give a brief account of our experiences. We left Indianapolis in midwinter. Streets were shiny with ice. We snailed along, mostly in second, until traffic thinned at the south edge of the city. The country was snow-covered but the paved road was dry. I cautiously accelerated to about 30 miles an hour. n n n first hour with a trailer is . something to try and forget. You are distressingly conscious of the bulk behind. Bridges contract to narrow, shaky strips. Trucks swell to zeppelin size. The road is peopled with monsters rushing at you from every angle. In an hour you pinch yourself, get a normal reaction, take a deep breath and slide down an inch in the seat. In a few minutes you glance at the speedometer and find you are touching 40. Alarmed, you throttle down to 30. In a minute or two you are back at 40. That, incidentally, is fast enough for us on a clear road. We have touched 55 but what’s the hurry? Then you begin to relax and see the sights. You feel a little thrill at your daring and independence. Your house is rolling smoothly, the larder is full, there is fuel for the heating stove and the gasoline range. You are a trailer fan. South of Louisville, big sissies that we were, we rented heated tourist cabins for the night and ate in a restaurant. Our excuse was the cold and the children. The next night the nurse and children slept in a cabin and we sampled the trailer beds. They were fine. From then on we all slept under our portable roof. On the third evening Mrs. D. cooked the first meal on the gasoline stove. It worked. The food was swell. Since then we have scorned restaurants except for a noon snack while traveling. n n n BY then we were in northern Alabama and I was driving in shirtsleeves. My left elbow was sunburned. We remembered our plans. We began to take it easy; watch for strange beasts and birds and businesses. When something puzzled us we stopped and asked. We explored a turpentine still, talked politics at cross roads, discovered pecan and tung trees. Our first camp was at Fairhope, Ala., a quiet single-tax colony on Mobile Bay. A sign on the beach asked us to obtain permission to camp. We

THIS CURIOUS WORLD + By William Fergusor

r workqrs IST' are required ANTHRACITE COAL. IS THE RESULT OP" /A *4O-FOOT WORKERS. / V//TO OfT Os /l ~T~ ' BEING PRESSED DOWN INTO A

It rests with the worker bees to decide whether a worker or a queen is to be produced. If the newly patched larva is fed continuously on a food known as “royal jelly,” a queen will result. But, after the third day in the larval stage, if the diet is changed to nectar and pollen, a worker will be developed.

. * . s'*/ £ ~ ..

Stop the trailer; get ready for fishing.

’ / \ V: •..; : :-ix : :

found the mayor under an auto in his garage. Certainly, he said, just keep the place clean. Did we have a long extension cord, he asked? We did. Fine. Down came the town electrician, tacked a meter on a tree and hooked us up to the municipallyowned light circuit. The radio told us we had escaped another cold wave. We stayed a lazy sunny week, learning the trailer routine. I

FRIDAY, MAY 8,1936

Christopher Denny helps his father with the water supply.

Home, sweet Home!

found hew many buckets of water were needed to fill the tank. We learned what to do when the gasoline stove burned yellow, smudging pots and pans. We found that four or five fat pine cones burned in the heating stove would warm us on chilly mornings. We bought fresh oysters from the boats that docked a hundred yards away. a * a THE kids, exhausted by hours on the beach and the playground swings and slides, were r.. 0 trouble at bedtime. Food costs became a problem. Prices were lower, but we ate twice as much. This was one budget appropriation that had to be readjusted. We had forgotten how appetites are edged by sun and exercise and clean air. But so far we had seen few trailers. We wanted to inspect other models, exhibit ours. We wanted to talk to trailer veterans, ask them about the best camps and roads in the West. We wanted to see how they lived, why they chose this life. So in a week we were on our way across the new Gulf Highway to central Florida. With no schedule to follow, no daily mileage to consider, we loafed along; 50 miles today, 200 the next. If a beach was warm and full of queer shells we spent the afternoon. Twice we parked at tourist camps, once behind a filling station, where the owner wouldn’t take a penny, even though we used his electricity. He seemed to know we would fill the gas tank in the morning. Besides, he was thinking of buying a trailer and wanted to examine ours. Trailers began to appear in numbers in northern Florida. Two days later we were parked in the Clearwater camp, surrounded by more than 300 trailers, house cars and tents, in sight of a dazzling beach. a a a THEN days of swimming, fishing and gaining information. But in a week the feet itched again. There were rumors of giant “green trout,’’ bass to you, in the inland lakes. The fishing was poor but there was the Bok Singing Tower, miles of citrus groves in bloom, queer wading birds in cypress swamps, fresh strawberries, and fierce political fights in the camps at evening. Back to Clearwater for another week. There tan’t space to retail n

a tenth of our experiences. I dusted off the golf clubs and shamefacedly played a round or two. I fished some more, with better luck. We left the trailer for a day and saw the art museum at

Washington Merry-Go-Round BY DREW PEARSON and ROBERT S. ALLEN -

WASHINGTON, May B.—Admiral Joseph Reeves, com-mander-in-chief of the United States Fleet, has had a bad attack of the spy jitters. Apparently he sees spies behind every stanchion in the fleet. The other day, at least, he issued one of the most unusual orders in American naval history. He decreed that no officer or enlisted man in the United States fleet could keep a camera of any kind aboard ship. This is unprecedented. In unusual instances in the past, orders have been issued to deposit cameras with the executive officer. But never has the commander of the fleet shown such distrust in his own officers. Asa result, several small boatloads of photographic material were taken off the ships just after the order was issued. Officers desiring to take pictures ashore will now have to buy cameras and films while in port, and leave the cameras there. They can not be taken aboard ship. a a a MADAME VARGAS, charming wife of the President of Brazil, was being entertained at lunch by Mrs. Roosevelt. Among the other guests was Mrs. Sol Bloom, wife of New York's ebullient, theatrical congressman. Madame Vargas speaks excellent French but no English. Mrs. Roosevelt also speaks French; Mrs. Bloom does not. Despite this, Mrs: Bloom sat down at the place of honor beside Madame Vargas after the luncheon was over, and endeavored to engage in conversation. English and French did not mix. Mrs. Bloom sat silent for a moment while Mrs. Roosevelt covered up the embarrassment. Then in a loud voice Mrs. Bloom said: “I’ll sell my seat for two dollars to any one who speaks French.” a a a THE Army and Navy are not the only branches of the military service that have done well by themselves under the New Deal. The National Guard also

GRIN AND BEAR IT + + by Lichfy

-?-e- - - _ J

“If you really loved me, your chest would go up and down like they do in the movies.

Sarasota and a snake farm. We visited what is said to be the largest muster of peafowl in the world. We spent two days at Tarpon Springs, the great sponge exchange. The Greek sponge fleet was at harbor in the Anclote River and we were treated to rounds of beer by Capt. John who was setting them up for his crew on the eve of sailing. In the same dark saloon we listened to zither music; heard endless verses set to wavering, oriental cadences honoring exploits of Aegean heros. We saw a sponge diver, crippled by the “bends,” carried to his ship. Twenty fathoms of water pressure will restore, partially at least, the usefulness of paralyzed muscles; smooth his spastic steps. n n n WHEN he is hauled back to the deck, the “bends” will return. Short shifts on the bottom of the gulf, sponge bag in hand, laced in steel and rubber, are his only near-normal moments. But the trailers were beginning the northward migration. “See you in Canada, or Michigan, or Maine.” is the cry as another outfit pulls away.. We joined the flight.’ More days of new roads, sights and smells. Then came word of floods. Better not be fooled by the spring here, we thought. Besides, there was work to be done, repairs to make, stories to write. So we stopped again at lairhope. We rented a cottage for a month; parked the trailer in the yard. But our trailer beds are more comfortable and the trout season soon will open in the Southwestern states. The road isn’t just beckoning, it’s shouting out loud. Where will we go? We don’t know. West. Taos, the Canyon, the California redwood forests, a Montana ranch. Where’s that map? Tomorrow —A peek Into the future of the house trailer.

has come in for some quiet but juicy allotments. From Congress the militiamen this year received a 10 per cent boost over last year in appropriations, 33 per cent higher than the year before. Also $883,000 was made available from work-relief funds for improvements in National Guard training camps. This still is not the real story. During the current year more than 125 armories are being constructed, chiefly with WPA funds. The total cost ol these buildings runs well over $5,000,000. Though this construction work is a major feature of the WPA’s activities, there has not been a single publicity release on the subject. Even in the state lists—where the various projects are itemized in detail—the word “armory” is not to be found. They are listed merely as “Federal buildings.” Most of the armories now under construction are located in Southern states. Oklahoma tops the list with 51 out of the total of 125. An explanation for this may be that WPA director of Oklahoma is Gen. W. S. Key, a National Guard officer. Another WPA secret about these armories is the fact that in mast instances their cost far exceeds the $25,000 limit fixed by the President as the maximum to be spent on individual WPA projects. a a a THIS year’s secret armory building program is only a starter. In collaboration with state officials and National Guard executives, the WPA has worked out a program for the construction of 800 additional armories at a cost of $60,000,000. Erection of these buildings will begin in the new fiscal year, starting July 1. As in the case of practically all those now under construction, most of the armories in the new program also will surpass the $25,000 cost limit. The strength of the National Guard is now at its highest peak since it was organized, just after the World War. (Copyright, 1936. by United Featura Syndicate, Inc.)

Second Section

Entered as Second-Class Matter at Postoffice. Indianapolis. Ind.

ICmrlheWsM WM HUP SIMMS (Batting for Westbrook Fegler.) gERLIN, May B.—lt is no exaggeration to say that Nazi Germany regards herself as already in a state of siege. In feverish haste therefore, night and day, preparations are going full blast to turn the country into an armed camp. Regardless of expense, a vast network of military, naval and aviation establishments—barracks, arsenals, parade grounds, munition factories, war

industries, supply depots—are going up, while boys and men are flocking to the colors as if hostilities might break out at any time. In the capital there are fewer uniforms than two years ago. At that time every other man seemed to be a Brown Shirt or a Storm Trooper. Today these have disappeared. The answer is that Germany now has a regular army, of unlimited size, and its members are not strutting up and down Unter den Linden giving the Nazi salute to each other. They are out in the country being taught how to kill.

Up to the beginning of the year some 700,000 had been drafted into, or accepted as volunteers in, the armed forces. The latter include boys under age and men over age—the older ones being ex-service men hoping for jobs as commissioned officers and non-coms. n n n There's No Let Up r I>HE1 >HE cost of equipping such an army and readying x the colossal military encampment which Germany is fast coming to be, is threatening the country with bankruptcy. But no let-up is in sight anywhere. On the contrary, industrial production has reached new post-war levels. Heavy industries are working at capacity. New plants are going up. Three shifts are required in many cases, and there is a dearth of skilled labor and technicians. Anew and startling development in the Nazis' war preparations is the creation of a “safety zone” in the heart of the country, as far as possible from the frontier and hence difficult for bombers to attack. Even such enormous concerns as Krupp’s, situated in the Rhineland—close to Belgium and France are putting increasing emphasis on branch plants in the area around Berlin. They are enlarging their works at Magdeburg. The important Giesch Erben zinc refinery is erecting a large plant nearby. The Daimler-Benz auto factory has opened a plant just south of Berlin, and the Opel people have built anew truck works at Brandenburg. And so on. All the new airplane factories, fuel refineries and key concerns are being relocated well within the “safety zone.” * Within 24 months—the time-limit within which all of the Refjh’s war preparations are to reach maximum perfection—Germany plans to be independent of the outside w'orld even for its gas and oil requirements, so far as military needs are concerned. Huge expenditures are being laid out for all sorts of ersatz” products. Plants have been set up to make substitutes for gasoline, lubricants, cotton rubber and other essentials. Mining activities are Intense as engineers seek to increase the national output of copper, lead, zinc, iron and petroleum. nun Similar to U. S. in 1917 A DMITTEDLY the country is being mobilized inJ 7- dustrially and agriculturally precisely as it is being prepared militarily for the expected struggle. The object is to make the country blockade-proof. Every human endeavor is being employed to make sure that the Nazi war machine shall not lack munitions nor the population essential food, clothes and other necessities while the siege lasts. What is taking place in Germany today is remindful of what happened in the United States in 1917, when we entered the World War. There is the intense preparation in every field for eventual conflict. But as every American taxpayer knows, the American effort cost mountains of money. Haste added to costs. Inevitably the same thing is happening here. Germany is throwing billions into her effort The big difference is that the United States had the money and the resources to spare and Nazi Germany has not. So the experts are predicting a crash. They say it is just a -luestion of time. Some give it only <a few months, others as much as a year and a half or two years. But all agree that only a miracle can save the situation. And those who know their history add somberly that dictators like Hitler, when they find they can’t produce the miracle, seldom take defeat lying down. ’

Liberal Viewpoint BY HARRY ELMER BARNES

new economic order in Russia presents many contrasts with the situation in the capitalist world. No one of these contrasts is more striking than the Russian adoption of the economy of abundance. This contrast is brought out by Anna Louise Strong in her latest book, “This Soviet World ” (Henry Holt, $2). “Life in the new factories is by no means ease and harmony. It is more like an explosion or a battle. An engineer of my acquaintance finds the Stakhanovites frankly terrifying. They put up signals over their lathes when out of material. These signals pop up everywhere and I I m sitting up nights to plan the flow of work. , . . “It no longer even occurs to these joint owners that a rise in productivity might throw them out of work. Shifts of workers there will be from one job to another; but industry bears the expense of retaining workers. Conflicts there will be, harsh problems and many, but they feel quite sure that they can plan anc achieve.”

Times Books

IN his new novel, “Sparkenbroke” (McMillan; $2.75), Charles Morgan tackles one of the most profound themes any artist can handle—the mystical notion that there exists a world beyond the reach of the senses, a life beyond life, and a reality beyond anything this earth can show, which can be attained by human beings only in moments of supreme ecstasy. There are, says Mr. Morgan, three ways of experiencing this transcendent ecstasy—in love, in art, and in death. Indeed, at bottom, the transformations which these three things put upon the spirit are, he suggests. identical; and his long, painstakingly written novel is an attempt to show how they are identical and what they mean. He embodies his theme in the narrative of a titled British poet and novelist who has a 500-page love affair with the wife of his best friend. By entering the hero's mind as he struggles toward creation, by describing the love affair with minute care, and by detailing the hero's preoccupation with death. Mr. Morgan attempts to present his case. What he has given us, however, is a thoughtful, sensuous and beautifully written book which does have moments of mystic insight and profound loveliness. 18. C.)..

Wm. Philip Simms