Indianapolis Times, Volume 42, Number 83, Indianapolis, Marion County, 15 August 1930 — Page 4

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Food Profiteers While all eyes have oeen on the farmer and his losses during the drought, some c'ties are beginning to Buffer through the increase in f x>d prices. Some of the increases may have been justified, but in the main there can be no excuse for price boosting, because there Is no food shortage— not yet, anyway. Fortunately, the federal government has been quick to see this danger and to send out warnings. The administration proposes to protect the cities as well as aid the farms. Secretary of Agriculture Hyde has announced that food profiteers will be punished under the law. Certainly such action should be taken, but it is not at ail clear that present laws adequately cover this kind of situation. Probably the most effective method in the end will prove to be publicity. If the department of agriculture W'ill carry out its plan to give prompt publicity in key cities cn the amount of foodstuffs and dairy products on hand, and on prices received by producers, it will not be easy for middlemen to cause unjustified price increases on the basis of a fake shortage. But such federal publicity -is mot enough. Unless municipal authorities co-operate fully, the unscrupulous traders can not be restrained. The svstem should work both ways, howeter. The time may come when a price increase is legitimate in certain commodities—for instance, in milk. The dairy fanners deserve a fair price, and that price will rue If many more cows must be killed because of the drought. In such cases, the problem of the federal and municipal authorities is to see that the farmer instead of the middleman gets the increase paid by the consumer. Southern Republicans The latest blast of the southern Republican organization has fallen rather flat. In the first place, it followed the primaries, and the action of the voters spoke louder than the manifesto of Horace Mann's G. O. P. committee of the south. The Democrats in Arkansas who tried to prevent the renomination of Senator Robinson, minority leader in the senate, because he was running mate of A1 Smith in 1928. turned out to be few in number. The appeal to bigotry failed. Robinson won, and in doing so he proved that the 1928 Democratic split is not important in 1930. Likewise in Alabama, the heavy primary vote polled by the regular Democratic candidates indicated that Senator Tom Heflin, the king of bolters, probably will not get very far in his election campaign as an “independent” candidate. These results in Arkansas and Alabama are in line, of course, with the earlier primary defeats of the so-called Hoovercrats in Virginia, North Carolina, Florida and Texas. So it appears that Mann's crowd will not have the easy time in the next election that it did in the last. The inherent weakness of the Mann movement is revealed by the statement of "principles and objectives.” issued Wednesday. It is the same old KuKlux Klan sort of hokum. It demands wholesale deportation of aliens, and passage of federal laws of repression which would in effect destroy the Bill of Rights and constitutional guarantees of civil liberties. It opposes commercial as well as political relations with Russia. It opposes American participation even in international fiscal conferences. It attempts to attribute the growing popular demand for prohibition repeal to powerful financial interests. Doubtless there is need for a real two-party system In the south, and to that extent there is an opportunity there for the right kind of Republican organization. But in view of the primary results, and the klanlike platform of the Mann committee, it seems very improbable that this particular southern Republican movement will worry the Democratic party again.

New Flying Records Two spectacular flying records were smashed Wednesday. The St. Louis fliers passed the 553hour endurance mark of the Hunter brothers, and kept on going. Captain Frank Hawks took the coast-to-coast record away from the Lindberghs by flying from California to New York in 12 hours and 25 minutes. The country’ is no doubt a little sick of endurance flying. But regardless of the silly aspect of the thing, the mere consistency with which record after record falls these days shows what a remarkable piece of machinery the airplane motor has become. Hawks’ record, it seems to us, is more important. Flying from coast to coast in a racing plane in twelve and one.half hours today means that regular passenger planes will be doing the same thing in a few years. It is entirely sensible to predict that, within ten years, passenger planes equipped with sleeping compartments will leave one coast at dark and reach the other by daylight. And the business man will have lost no time at all in making the trip. Frank Hawks, by confining his aerial exploits to fast flights over land Instead of trying to beat the ocean by plane, not only has treated his own life with an admirable degree of respect, but has added more than his share to the development of faster and faster airplanes. He is to be congratulated on both points. Naive—and Idiotic Amos W. W. Woodcock, new director of prohiSiticn. evidently has seme original ideas about enforcing the eighteenth amendment, the Volstead ict and the Jones flve-and-ten legislative atrocity. Coming on to the scene after all coercive efforts on the part of the federal government to make lovers of liberty like slaves have failed, Woodcock pleads with those who still believe in the bill of rights to take their punishment lying down. The Woodcock appeal is so child-like in its simplicity. so naive in its psychology and so idiotic in its common sense that it is worth preserving. In asking the support of all citizens. Mr. Woodcock says: “To those who have been making the unlawful traffic possible by affording a market for the contraband, may I suggest, simply and in no sense officiously, for the decision is yours—is the opportunity to obtain a drink of liquor in an unlawful way comparable In importance to you to the opportunity to contribute to the ideal of t. law-abiding nation? “To the great mass of American men and women. I say. give us your sympathy and help. Alter all, who can object to a fair, honest, earnest and lawful enforcement of the law of the land?” Well. Amos, you've got It off your chest. And It will have about as much influence on liberty-loving men and women in this country as a like appeal by George HI to John Adams, Benjamin Franklin. Thomas Jeff ex son, Robert Morris. Charles Carroll. Wjhn Hancock. Ebridge Gerry add other revjution-

The Indianapolis Times (A SC SI FT 8- HOWARD XEWBFAPESI Owned and pnbltabM dally (except Buuday> by The Indianapolla Tjmea Publishing Cos., 2li-220 Weet Maryland Street. lodianapolie, lod. Price In Marlon County. 2 cents a copy; elsewhere. 3 cents— delivered by carrier. 12 renta a week. BOTD GLKLE2. BOX W. HOWARD. FRANK O. MORRISON' Editor P reel dent Business Manager * I'HOXE—RHey fiftSl FRIDAY. AUG. 15. 1930. . Member of United Free*. Seri ppa-Ho ward Newapaper Alliance. Newspaper Enterprise Association. Newapaper Information Service and Audit Bureau of Circulations. “Give Light and the People Will Find Their Own Way.”

ary patriots would have had if made just before they signed the Declaration of Independence. If these fathers of the American republic had believed that the best way to kill a bad law was tcT enforce It, there would have been no Declaration of Independence, no Constitution of the United States, and we still would be British colonists. Somebody might be rude enough to add—“and enjoying more freedom than we do now,” but I can't help what people will say; and I still have hope that we will regain our lost liberty and our bill of rights. Fess Only a Rubber Stamp Selection of Senator Fess of Ohio as chairman of the Republican national committee doesn't mean much so far as the personality, if any, of Fess is concerned. It simply means that Postmaster-General Brown, also of Ohio, is in the saddle. And he is probably the smartest politician in the Hoover camp. Early in 1928 Secretary Work was managing the campaign for Hoover’s nomination, and Brown, though assistant to Secretary of Commerce Hoover, was sidetracked. Work was so eager to become chairman of the national committee that he didn't want to fight the old guard organizations to get Hoover delegates, for fear he would antagonize the old guard state organizations and lose their support for chairman. Browm wanted to fight the Willis organization in Ohio, the Watson organization in Indiana and any other state organization that stood in Hoover’s way. In the meantime, the old guard didn't want Hoover and was stacking up the game to put Dawes over, after Lowden had been given a run for his money and never given enough votes to nominate him. If Hoover hadn’t fought Willis in Ohio, he wouldn’t have gotten a second choice vote in that state, and mighty few of them in any state whose delegation was controlled by the old guard. With rank and file Republicans favoring his nomination and the old guard against him, Hoover's only chance was to lick the old guard in the selection of delegates. Brown favored that kind of fight at a time'when there was no fight in Hoover. He von out in time to beat the Willis organization in Ohio and to convince Hoover’s fighting followers that he really would fight. When Work got out of the saddle. Brown climbed in. With Fess taking Huston’s job, Brown can be and will be postmaster-general and at the same time the real chairman of the national committee. Fess is merely a rubber stamp. He will do as he is told. Browm will tell him.

Beautiful—And Not Dumb* Add another tribute to the already glorious record of 17-year-old Dorothy Dell Goff of New Orleans, who was chosen “the world’s most beautiful girl” at a recent Galveston beauty pageant; she’s truthful. For Dorothy—beautiful, but by no means dumb—candidly admits that washing dishes gives her a great big pain and cooking is something she despises. A more romantic and less straightforward beauty contest winner would prate for hours over her alleged joys in puttering around the kitchen, as most of them have done in interviews. It’s the customary thing for newly crowned feminine celebrities to pose as neat little home-makers, but when you come right down to it no gifl likes to cook and wash dishes any better than a boy likes to carry out the furnace ashes or mow the lawn. Therefore, Dorothy is to be congratulated on having the courage to speak out. Sure, there’s a lot of romance in home making, but that doesn't include cooking In a hot kitchen ... or mopping bathroom floors ... or bathing a stack of dirty dishes almost as high as ones self after every meal. A New York doctor is advising people to keep cool by thinking of next winter. What’s the use? Even then we’ve. got to think about our heat. Stock marker authorities class cosmetic manufacturers as or.e of the “depression proof” industries. Because, perhaps, they keep stiff upper lips. i Even anglers can become irritable in hot weather, as witness the one who held a piece of bait before a colleague and asked, “Is it worm enough for you?”

REASON by fr l e a d ndTs ck

WE see by the papers that Mencken, the editor of Mercury, has been taken captive by a literary lady from Alabama and that on Sept. 3, he will march down the aisle, keeping step with Mendelssohn and wearing lilies of the valley in his buttonhole. a a We congratulate the young lady from Alabama on her achievement, if not upon her prospect of unending felicity, for it is impossible to visualize Mencken as a fireside evergreen. We may do him an injustice, but from his writings we judge him to be about as congenial as hay fever. a a a BUT for all this, the young person from Dixie is entitled to the croix de guerre with all the palms that go with it, for her victory is greater than that of Ethan Allen at Ticonderoga or Mad Anthony Wayne at Stony Point. a a a It was a defiant battle of the single state that Mencken held aloft, the most defiant of them all, a banner that didn’t kiss the air as conventional banners are expected to do, but snapped at it, snapped at it like an alligator. a a a Wm nope we are wTong about Mencken's qualities; we hope he is a burst of s’inshine who can eat a biscuit as hard as a doorknob and compliment his bride and ask her how in the world she ever baked it. We hope he can be interrupted in the middle of an essay and go to the grocery for a quarter’s worth of lard, saying as he leaves: “My dear, this is the happiest moment of my life!” But we doubt it. * * a Still you never can tell, for when these radicals go in for a reversal of form they go the limit. It is altogether possible that by the time three or four little Menckens are dipping their fingers in the jam and writing on the wall paper, this sarcastic foe of conventional life will be sitting in the chimney corner, cutting carpet rags and wondering what he will say at the meeting of the mite society. a a a ONE lusty kid could take from Mencken all ideas of his own importance; one curly-headed conqueror could make him eat every pessimistic page he ever wrote, and we can wish him no better fate than to be led out into the fresh air of normal, rational, wholesome understanding by his child. a a a We are not concerned about Mencken's professing faith or becoming a foreign missionary, but we shall watch his post-marriage reactions with interest. Meanwhile his followers are in the grip of dismay, for the mighty has fallen; the leading bachelor soon Is to become tbs following husband.

THE INDIANAPOLIS TIMES

SCIENCE —BY DAVID DIETZ—-

Sever. Expeditions of the Oriental Institute Now Are Searching in the Near East for Evidence of Early Chilizations. PLANS to expand the program of the Oriental Institute of the University of Chicago have been announced by Dr. James H. Breasted, its director. The institute now has seven expeditions in the Near East searching for evidence of the earliest civilization. At the same time, a laboratory costing $1,500,000 is being built for the institute on the University of Chicago campus from funds furnished by the internatiohal education board-Forty-six experts are with the seven expeditions now in the field. More than 1,000 natives are employed by them as diggers to unearth the ruins on prehistoric sites. Four parties are in Egypt, and one each in Anatolia, Assyria and the Hittite country. The Epigraphic Survey, near Luxor on the Nile, is copying the inscriptions on the temple of Medinet Habu. The first volume of facsimile records will be published shortly, it is announced. Both the Epigraphic Survey and the Architectural Survey, which is reconstructing the design of the temple of Rameses 111 and other structures are quartered in Chicago house at Luxor. , <• Chicago house is the name given the institute's Egyptian headquarters, located at Luxor. u 9 a Texts /'NNE of the mast interesting pieces of work being done by the institute in Egypt is known as the ‘‘Coffin Texts” project. The experts engaged on this project are nearing completion of the task of copying the inscriptions on the collection of ancient coffins fn Cairo, Dr. Breasted announces. The prehistoric survey is tracing the geological development of the Nile river, and in its effort to discover vestiges of the earliest human habitation of the valley, has pushed the date of its occupancy back several hundred thousand years. The Megiddo expedition, which in 1927 reported the discovery of the stables of Solomon, is excavating the mound which covers a stratified series of cities at the ancient battlesite of Armageddon in Palestine. The Anatolian expedition is surveying the country of the ancient Hittites in Asia Minor, which is rich in stratified city-sites, and has completed the work on the area around Alishar. The Iraq expedition, which last year excavated the Temple of Sargon II and discovered the temple of Sennacherib near Khorsabad, north of Bagddd, is devoted to study of ancient Assyrian and Babylonian civilizations.

Discovery DR. BREASTED stresses the fact that the expeditions are interested chiefly in study, not collecting. He states: “Expeditions of the institute are not concerned primarily in discovering and carrying away to America the priceless relics of the older civilizations. * “The purpose of the work is to discover and preserve the evidence of older civilizations and the relics found are mostly in’ national museums of the countries now controlling the territory. “The Cairo, Jerusalem, Bagdad, and Angora museums are repositories under national governmental control for such material, but a fair share has been acquired by the institute for study and display. “These exhibits will constitute one of the greatest collections in the country, and will be open to the public.” A unique workshop is being located in the basement of the Oriental institute to carry on the extremely difficult and important task of preparing and preserving the exhibits. A staff of highly skilled experts will have charge of this work. Another feature of the institute laboratory will be the library. It will be two stories high with Elizabethan Gothic oak-vaulted celling. This library will house thousands of books, many of them rare and expensive voiumts, dealing with ancient history and old cultures.

THE PANAMA CANAL * Aug. ON Aug. 15, 19.4, the Panama canal, the sh p canal across the Isthmus of Panama, connecting the Atlantic and Pacific oceans, was opened to commercial traffic by the passage of the government steamship Ancon, carrying the secretary of war and 200 guests. The passage was made in nine hours and forty minutes. From that time the canal has been opened to general traffic, except when the slides at Culebra hill and at Cucaracha have interrupted navigation. At the end of the first year, 1,317 ocean-going vessels passed through the canal, paying in tolls $5,216,149. The tolls were established by the President at the rate of $1.20 a net vessel ton for loaded vessels. The canal Is fifty miles long and cost about $4,000,000 to build. The engineer to whom greatest credit is due for the success in its construction is Colonel George W, Goethals. Both Colonel Goethals and Colonel William C. Gorgas. through whose work in sanitation improvements on the isthmus it was possible to construct the canal under favorable health conditions, were raised to the rank of major-general in recognition of their services.

Daily Thought

Peace, above all things, is to be desired, but blood sometimes must be spilled to obtain it on equable and luting terms.—Andrew Jackson. And they shall beat their swords into plough-shares and their spears into pruning hooitv-'Mfcah 4.2.

BELIEVE ITORNOT

sor< ft ” RIPLEY'S zeal in HIS FAR WORLD WEST. WXtS HOBS JXKSW^If his ~ ' mm* (dr ’AWielfcES Jir ’M ' OUT OF A ROCK IN DOVER,M j.Squaw Gulch, t S0 King Syodicle.Vc Gttil Bnu." ri*h ramoi

Following is the explanation of Ripley’s “Believe It or Not,” which appeared in Thursday's Times: Robert Manning and his Horse Jumped Over a Dining TableManning performed this feat as a result of a dare by a group of friends. After ascending a long stairway, horse and rider leaped over one of the dining tables

DAILY HEALTH SERVICE Blood Cell Study Is Complicated

BY DR. MORRIS FISHBEIN .Editor. Journal of the American Medical Association, and of Hygela, the Health Magazine. 'T'HE white blood cells are certainly as significant as the red blood cells for human health and life. They are of many varieties which are only beginning to be studied and classified completely. In times of infection, for instance in appendicitis, the number of white blood cells will be raised promptly from 15,000 to 50,000 as compared with the 5,009 to 7,000 that is normal. One variety will be increased greatly in percentage as compared with the other varieties. This variety is called the polymorphonuclear white blood cell, because it is a white cell with many nuclei. Whereas normally it is present in from 55 to 60 per cent of all the white blood cells, the number may

IT SEEMS TO ME by ST

HeTWOod Broun, who conduct* this column, is on his vacation. During his absence Joe Williams, sports editor of the New York Telerratn, wiU pinch-hit for Broun.—The Editor. BY JOE WILLIAMS THESE are exciting days in the theater. For one thing, Mary Pickford is coming back to the stage. Only the historians of the drama remember clearly that she once was a child actress on Broadway. • To most of us whose first contacts with what the awful old cynics call “the land of make-believe” came with the early pictures in the nickelodeons, Pickford still is a mystic symbol and a romantic tradition. She was a pioneering priestess in anew art, an eloquent muteness whose niche in the entertainment world became as definitely fixed as the Helen Modjeskas, the Maud Adamses and the Laurette Taylors who were more reverently listed in the theatrical records. Your memory goes back a long ways to the days when you sat in cane-backed chairs in remodeled butcher shops and sobbed while the girl heroine with long curls divided her last crust of bread with her dying grandpappy in the first super-reel of the two-reel SuperBiograph spectacle, directed by David Wark Griffith, the extraordinarily masterful genfus of the silent drama. * ' M Molding of Moguls 1 SUPPOSE a lot of captains of industry and giants of finance who have soared to middle-aged success in our busy marts of trade would scoff at the suggestion, but it must be true that these little Pickfordian sermons molded the career of more than one restless youth. Naturally, there have been youths who were insensitive to the great moral influences of the earlier films, just as there are youths today who fail to see poetry In babbling brooks, fairy-like magic in towering cliffs and beauty in gas stations: but, alas, this is life, and there seems to be very little that either Dr. Cadman or I can do about it. Os course, tfe can suck in our breath in a prodigious sigh and shake our fine old heads from left to right in great pity, but if you think this will keep them off the Tom Thumb courses after 9 p- m. or from writing to Clara Bow for autographed pictures (in a bathing suit, please), you do not know the younger generation. As one ol'the original Pickford-

On request, sent with stamped addressed envelope, Mr. Ripley will furnish proof of anything depicted by him.

without upsetting it. The Sporting Monthly hailed this feat with a great deal of enthusiasm. It Takes Two Years to Make a Billiard Ball—Billiard balls must be perfect in shape, size, weight and smoothness or they are valueless. When the balls are made from ivory the rough-shaped ivory block is kept in a seasoning room for at least a year, and another

increase so rapidly in time of infection that this form will constitute 75 to 90 per cent. In certain diseases the number of white blood cells is reduced and the physician examines the blood with a view to determining this fact so his diagnosis may be more certain. Another of the forms of white blood cell is mononuclear, because it has only one nucleus, In many diseases this form is reduced greatly. and. in other diseases decreased. When inflammation occurs anywhere in the human body, the blood brings enormous numbers of white blood cells to the spot- They come there and remove the degenerated or broken down material. A third form of white blood cell called easinophile, because It stains with a certain stain, is increased in number in some diseases; unquestionably in infestation with the pork worm called trichina. The medical profession and workers in research laboratories

ians, nothing would add more zest to my existence than to have her come back to Broadway in one of her ancient Biographic graphics. It would help matters, too, if something of the old atmosphere could be refashioned ... the tireless, gumchewing piano pounder .. . the apology between reels, “One minute please” ... the home-town baritone who tore off illustrated songs, a breath-taking fashion plate with a fountain pen, a pencil and a silk handkerchief peeping out proudly above the rim of his topcoat pocket. Those were the days indeed, and I trust no one will embarrass me by asking for what? a a a Curls to Cuticle IT is a far cry in any language from Miss Pickford to Earl Carroll. Indeed, it is pratically a shriek of outrage. Dr. Carroll, as you may have noted, was freed by the grand jury yesterday on a charge of sprinkling soot on the lily pads of life. His absolution, oddly, came only a few hours after the Catholic theater group, led by Cardinal Hayes, and supported by other religious bodies, had returned a scatching

Questions and Answers

Where was the first theater in America built? In Williamsburg, Va., in 1716, on a site facing the Palace Green, a narrow park running north from Duke of Gloucester street, and, in colonial days, extending to the royal governor’s palace. What are the colors # of Princeton university? Orange and black. Is Valparaiso on the west coast of Chile, farther east than New York, and in Rome, Italy, further north than New York? Yes. How can one get rid of morning glory vines that keep coming up on a lawn. The only way to eradicate them is to cultivate the lawn with some other crop, or cover iW.with sod and keep the grass closely (mowed.

I-C v Reslstered D. S. JL Wj Patent Office RIPLEY

year of the most painstaking seasoning is required after the block has been cut to approximately its ultimate size. When the balls are made from cheese the time required for seasoning and shaping is practically the same. Saturday—Growing Green Cotton.

throughout the world are spending vast amounts of time and energy to find the significance of the various forms of white blood cells, to identify these forms, and to determine their exact relationships in all sorts of diseases. Experts on the blood can tell from these relationships whether the person concerned is suffering from one type of infection or another. whether he has been poisoned by some chemical element, whether his blood-forming organs are functioning properly. In the blood-forming and destroying system the bone marrow and the spleen are especially significant. Unquestionably the liver and the gallbladder and their secretions e“e seriously’ concerned. The whole mechanism is so complicated and intricate that it will require the best brains of thousands of scientists for many years before it is fully elucidated and fully understood.

Ideals and opinions expressed in this column are those of one of America’s most interesting writers and are presented without regard to their agreement or disagreement with the editorial attitude of this naper.—The Editor.

indictment against the good doctor’s conception of art, his taste in the theater and his motives as a producer. Likewise included in the ecclesiastical bans was Gilbert Seldes’ modern adaptation of “Lysistrata,” a rowdy comedy from the old Greeks. It ,is manifest that on these specific questions of morals the laity and the clergy do, for that matter, not see eye to eye, or thigh to thigh. Such dr metrically opposite viewpoints art not unknown to critical schools. Very often what is Leiderkranz to one esthetic nose may very readily be roses of attar to another. By the same token what is a supremely beautiful Bible drama in one country may be merely a black face caricature of Billy Sunday in another. (Copyright. 1930. by The Times)

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AUG. 15,1930

M. E. Tracy SAYS: This Is Still a Two-Party Government; a3 One Weakens, the other Gains . From the standpoint of abstract liberalism. Senator Norris’ renomination by the Republicans of Nebraska may be a triumph, but from the standpoint of practical politics it merely gives Gilbert H. Hitchcock, his Democratic opponent, a better chance. And that epitomizes the general | situatioa No matter what causes a Republican bolt, or how much we can find to commend in the attitude of its leaders, it serves no purpose so distinctly as to help the Democrats. Thfe is still a two-party government. As one weakens the other gains. * # Just Rats CHICAGO police are becoming zealous, if not efficient, in enforcing the law against carrying arms. They picked up a citizen the other day because he had a shotgun in his flivver. "What is your business?’ asked the judge, when he was brought into court. “Exterminator,” was the reply. “Gang or b‘g game?” queried the judge. “Rats!” answered the prisonerm n m Legs Still Useful SCHEDULED to deliver a lecture in Durham, N. H., Clarence de Mar missed his .train at Harrison. Maine. He might haye taken an automobile, or an airplane, but he didn't. Instead, he “hoofed it,” thirtyeight miles to Portland, where he caught another train and kept his engagement. In spite of the wonderful record made by Hawks in his WH-hour flight ftom Los Angeles to New York; in spite of the equally wonderful record of Jackson ana O’Brine, legwork comes in handy at times. 9 9 9 A Three-Way War LEAVING out the background of banditry and political chaos—which is leaving out a great deal—the war in China may be described as-a three-way affair, with the reds gaining, while the northern, or Peiping crowd and the southern, or nationalist crowd, cut each other’s throats. A few intellectuals may be inspired by the honesty, if not welldigested idealism, and a few war lords may know what the shooting is all about, especially from their own selfish viewpoint, but generally speaking, China's trouble is rooted - in confusion. Shocking as this may be to those who hailed the advent of a Chinese $ republic with such joy nineteen years ago, it is neither more nor less than should have been expected. Four hundred million people, most of them burden-bearers, simply can’t be lifted from the tenth , to the twentieth century overnight. 9 9 9 Booze and Autos COMMISSIONER ROBERT T. HURLEY of the Connecticut state police has a theory of his own regarding the part played by hooch on automobile accidents. First, he claims that men are affected by it in three distinct ways. Some get drunk, some become in- ' toxicated, and some are merely “under its influence.” He defines drunks as dead to the world, declaring that they are hardly ever responsible for crashes or „ collision. Intoxicated persons, he ' says, though deprived of poise and- - usually can navigate by instinct. But for those merely “under the influence,” he has nothing but scorn. They are th 6 dangerous drivers. The moral is perfectly plain. If ' auto drivers want to take a drop and avoid trouble, they should get dead drunk, or at least intoxicated. 9 9 9 Want a Mastodon? WANT to buy a mastodon skeleton for $30,000? . You soon will have the opportunity, if reports from Czccho-Slo-vakia are correct. The world’s greatest mastodon cemetery just has been discovered in Moravia, so ’tis said, and scientists are preparing to exploit the find, which suggests that commer- • cial acumen Is no longer confined to America. Neither is the price high, according to preliminary statements. First, the bones have to excavated; then they have to be washed; then impregnated with glue; then shellacked, and then assembled as the mastodon wore them. Here is a chance for those interested in real antiques. What is an cbuliiscope? An instrument to determine the , proportion of alcohol in a mixture by Its boiling point.