Indianapolis Times, Volume 40, Number 196, Indianapolis, Marion County, 5 January 1929 — Page 4

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Heaven, Science and Mark Twain It's a bit strange, after all, that an attack In a scientific meeting on the o’d-time religion should cause such a sensation. For there Is nothing new about the point of view. It has been expressed and amplified in literature many times. Probably the sensation lies in the fact that the fundamentalist’s chief fear is of science, and that when a man taking part in a meeting of scientists, such as Dr. Harry Elmer Barnes of Smith college, aims a blow at the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob, the response is much more militant than when a writer, like Mark Twain, did the same thing. But, anyway, Mark Twain did it more attractively. “The earth,” says Dr. Barnes, ‘‘from the standpoint of time and space is certainly most inconsequential indeed. Man likewise tends to shrink in terms of the new cosmic outlook.” Mark Twain developed the idea with a story, of "Captain Stormfield's Visit to Heaven.” Stormfleld has died and is riding ‘‘straight as a dart for the hereafter." He races a comet; in the excitement is diverted from his course, finally lands at what proves to be the wrong gate—a gate set aside lor the dead from another part of the universe. He is asked where he Is from, and replies proudly, "Ban Francisco.” The head clerk is puzzled completely at the answer, and by the elaborations that ensue—California, the United States of America, and the world. All are unheard of at that gate. "What world?” asks the clerk. “The world,” says I. “The he replies—“there's billions of them.” Finally Stormfleld mentions the planets, and the clerk vaguely remembers having heard of Jupiter. “What system is Jupiter in,” asks the head clerk, turning to an assistant. “I don’t remember, sir, but I think there is such a planet, in one of the little systems away out in one of the thinly worlded corners of the universe. I will see.” “He got a balloon,” continues Stormfleld, “and sailed up and up, in front of a map as big as Rhode Island. He went up until he was out of sight, and by-and-by* he came down and got something to eat, and went up again. “He kept on doing this for a day or two, and finally he came down and said he thought he had found the solar system, but it might be fly specks. He got a microscope and went back. “It turned out better than he feared. He had rousted out our system, sure enough. He got me to describe our planet, and the distance from the sun, and then he says to his chief—‘Oh, I know the one he means. It is on the map. It is called the wart.' ” And so, through the medium of a wishing carpet, Stormfleld is transported million of leagues along the outer rim of heaven to the proper gate, and hears the welcome voice of an old acquaintance sing out—“A harp and a hymn book, pair of wings and a halo, size 13, for Cap’n Eli Stormfleld of San Francisco.” If the reader is a bit bored by the rather heavy nature of the scientific discussion, he will find pleasant relief in the conception as expressed by the great humorist. He, like the scientist, shocks the stock notion of the here and the hereafter, and, like the scientist, certainly stimulates thought. Perhaps the most interesting of his unorthodoxies 1$ that which attacks the conventional teaching that heaven is a place of happiness through total rest and complete painlessness. Told in the simple language of the Stormfleld story—- “ There's plenty of pain here—but it don’t kill. There's plenty of suffering, but it don’t last. You see, happiness ain’t a thing in itself. It’s only a contrast with something that ain't pleasant. “There ain't a thing you can mention that is happiness in its own self—it’s only so by contrast with the other things. And so, as soon as the novelty is over and the force of the contrast dulled, it ain’t happiness any longer, and you have to get something fresh. “Well, there's plenty of pain and suffering in heaven—consequently plenty of contrasts, and just no end of happiness.” Prohibition Facts Needed Recent developments point to the need for a study of the prohibition problem in the manner proposed by Herbert Hoover. In his acceptance speech Hoover said there were certain abuses which must be remedied. and that “an organized searching investigation of fact and causes alone can determine the wise method of correcting them.” There is a demand for information as to why the grvcniment after nine years is unable to enforce the Volstead act, and as to whether the act can in fact be enforced. W. C. Durant sought enlightenment through his $25,000 prize contest for the best plan of enforcement. Durant's contest was interesting, but brought to light no ideas considered of value by government officers. W. R. Hearst has followed with a $25,0Q0 offer for the best plan for repealing the eighteenth amendment. Senator Jones of Washington, a prohibition advocate, proposes a senatorial committee to study the enforcement system and suggest improvements. Senator Bruce of Maryland objects that the investigation would be under “the whiplash of the Anti-Saloon League” and would prevent Just the thing Hoover suggested. Whether Bruce is right about league influence, the wisdom of Jones’ proposal is questionable. Facilities are lacking for a dispassionate and scientific study, and politics would interfere. An extensive investigation of two years ago did nothing more than to reveal the existence of abuses. The Association Against the Prohibition Amendment has appropriated SIOO,OOO for what it promises will be an impartial study during the present year. Its study inevitably will be attacked of the association's open opposition to prohibition. Elsewhere we find groping for light. In New York, The Telegram has revealed much poisonous liquor being sold, and authorities have begun a campaign against speakeasies. Lacking an enforcement law, the New York state law against nuisances has been invoked against the liquor dives. Michigan tries to check the flow of liquor with an habitual criminal law, but the recent sentencing of the mother of ten to prison for life for selling liquor a. w*

The Indianapolis Times (A BCRIPPS-HOWAKD NEWSPAPER) Owned and published dally (except Sunday) by The Indianapolis Time* Publishing Cos., 14 ; W Maryland Street. Indianapolis, Ind Price in Marlon County 2 cents—lo cent* a week; elsewhere, 3 cents—l 2 cents a week. BOYD GCBLEY. ROY W HOWARD, FRANK O. MORRISON, Editor. President. Business Manager. 'ThoNeTkILEY 3051. SATURDAY. JAN. 3. 1929, Member nf~United Press. Scrlpps Howard Newspaper Alliance, Newspaper Enterprise Association, Newspaper Information Service and Audit Bureau of Circulations. “Give Light and the People Will Find Their Own Way.”

is creating such a protest that the experiment may be abandoned. There is no problem of moment before the country on which there is so great a dearth of accurate information. Doctors, criminologists, economists, and other observers disagree on even the fundamental phases. No one can say definitely whether more liquor is being drunk now than before prohibition, or whether liquor drinking is growing, although there are loud assertions in abundance. The effect of prohibition on the public health similarly is a matter of controversy. So with prohibition and crime, the courts and law, national wealth, public morals and politics, and almost every other angle. Obviously, if remedies are to be devised, unassailable facts are needed. The controversy has been so bitter that facts have been ignored, distorted, and obscured, especially by organized drys. A study by the new administration will be of value to the extent that it is fearless and impartial. That doubtless is Hoover’s plan. He cannot put it into effect too soon. < Just One Difference One of the phases of the good old days complex that all of us possess is to regard the past generation as more sedate than the present. Ours we call the jazz age. And we rather like to think that the wnoopie of the now is more tempestuous than the hilarity of the then. The wild party of Jan. 1, 1929, is supposed to be wilder than the gayest event of what we patronizingly refer to as the gay nineties. It is only when something happens to turn our attention backward that we realize that the vagaries of human conduct do not change much as one generation succeeds another. The death of Harry Lehr is one of those things. Harry was “a card.” Back in the time when mansard roofs were blooming and the whatnot was a household institution, Harry Lehr, a champagne merchant, came out of obesurity in Baltimore and into the bright light of New York society. Review in your mind the wildest antics of the year just gone and compare them with Harry Lehr's monkey party, his bathing suit dinner, his “looking backward” ball or his affair in honor of “Senor Burro of Mexico”—and then ask yourself, are we so very devilish, after all? One unmistakable difference does exist, however, as the deviltry of the nineties is compared with the skittishness of today—the alcoholic inspiration then was not tinged with wood alcohol. The Chinese Market An article in the current Magazine of Wall Street emphasizes the enormous potentialities of the Chinese; market as a field for American exporters. There are 400,000,000 people in China. The vast majority of these people, at present, use almost nothing that does not come from their own vicinity. But the new regime in China, seeking to rehabilitate the country, have great plans for raising its economic level. They are now projecting a $10,000,000 road building program, and hope it will be merely the first step in a general awakening. It is easy to figure out the tremendous demand for goods that will come if these 400,000.000 Chinese are lifted even slightly in the economic scale. American Industrialists who are prompt in cultivating the Chinese field stand to reap huge dividends a few years from now. Sing Sing life prisoners have lent themselves to scientific experiment by swallowing cameras that photograph the stomach. Just wait until the Hollywood publicity men hear about this. Those who entered the talking marathon in New York could choose any subject they liked. What a noble opportunity for the lady who has just had her appendix removed!

.. .... . David Dietz on Science I Actions Are Reflexes No. 252

THE reader who would become familiar with what physiologists have to say about the nervous system of the human body must acquaint himself with the term “reflex.” The word figures as much in modern psychology as in physiology apd Watson, the founder of the school of psychology, khown as the “behaviorists,” insists that the whole story is stold in one word. A reflex has been defined as a reaction to a stimulus. The simplest types of reflexes have been called the automatic because they are entirely out of the

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ter day and a prefectly harmless snowflake falls near the eye. The person knows that the snowflake is quite harmless. But his eye blinks just the same. Tears will flow as the result of certain odors, that of an onion, for example. This is entirely automatic and beyond the control of the person. All complex behavior of the bod, is built upon such reactions. The behaviorists—and even some physiologists—go as far os to say that all human conduct can be explained on the basis of reflexes, eliminating any idea of free will from the situation. But this is still open to a great deal of argument. One of the familiar types of reflexes is the so-called flexion reflex. This consists ot the bending of all the joints of a limb when some part of the skin covering it receives a painful stimulus. The flexion reflex comes into action when a person touches a hot stove, for example. As soon as the Anger touches the stove, the arm is suddenly bent, pulling the Anger away. The reaction also comes into play if a person steps on a nail. The leg is bent at or.ee, pulling the foot out of danger. This same flexion reflex comes into action in walking. Walking consists of alternately extending and flexing the legs. There is re son to believe that a nerve stimulus goes from one leg to the other, thus controlling the alternate extension and flexing of the legs.

M. E. TRACY SAYS: “Some Day, Perhaps, Men Will Learn That Force Can Not Be Regulated by Prescribing the Kind of Instruments a Country Can Make.”

RASPUTIN’S daughter goes on the stage, betting on her father's fame to attract the crowd. Just another illustration of what has happened to the theater. Art has fallen prey to the box office. What most managers want is the crowd, and they are just as willing to get it by exhibiting a freak as a great performer. Neither is suen an attitude confined to the United States of America, though some people would have us think so. In Europe, impresarios are just as canny and just as bizarre as they are here. Rasputin’s daughter may be possessed of great talent, but her pulling power at present consists in the fact that she .was the child of a mystic who dominated the Russian czar, did more .than any other individual, perhaps, to make him and his rule unpopular, appeal to the morbid curiosity of all peoples and die by violence. Stealing an Epidemic GLASS tubes containing “flu” germs were stolen from a doctor’s automobile in London the other day. Why or for what purpose is beside the mark. If they are broken, whether accidently or by intent, a lot can happen, though nothing might. Seventy-five years ago, no one knew that there was such a thing as a germ in existence. Possibly, that is one reason why we got along so well in spite of. them. Then again, there might not have been so many in existence as there are today. Science has not only been studying germs, but breeding and collecting them—hatching them out in multitudes, bottling them up and preserving them. A dangerous business, if some lunatic or idiot takes it into Mis head to rob the incubator and scatter its contents. A still more dangerous business, if some ruthless war lord decides to employ them. tt tt tt Nailing Down Germany THE Versailles treaty was designed to make Germany helpless. It robbed her of her colonies, reduced, her armies, confiscated the bulk of her navy and three-fourths of her merchant marine, made her acknowledge responsibility for the war, bound her to pay huge reparations and prescribed limits that were supposed to prevent her reappearance as a, first-class power either on land or sea. Among other things, the treaty provided that she could not construct a dreadnaught type of battleship, which allied statesmen seemed to have' regarded as a clincher. No big battleships, they reasoned, meant no big guns, and no big guns meant no naval menace. Allied statesmen were thinking of the past, rather than the future, were betting that men couldn’t do what hadn’t been done. That is where they made their mistake. Germahy has mounted big guns on a little battleship. It is no more than should have been expected, of course, but when men—even the best men—get it into their heads that they can nail things down by proclamation, they are not apt to expect very much. Well, if you can put a “big Bertha” on a flat car why not an el6ven-inch gun on a 10,090-ton boat, or one of only 6,G00 tons? n tt tt War Against War ENGLAND is amused at Germany’s “pocket battleship.” but France is alarmed. Under ordinary circumstances, France’s alarm could be put down as part of an incurable habit. In this case, however, there is real reason for it. Whether France has formed an official alliance with Poland it commonly is understood that the two intend to play along together. The chief difficulty rests in the fact that they are separated by intervening states, and that the one sure chance of forming a junction is by sea. With Germany prohibited from rebuilding a powerful navy, as was thought to be the case, the sea seemed safe and sufficient. With Germany in possession of eleven-inch guns, even though they are mounted on comparatively small craft, the sea does not look that way at all. Some day, perhaps, men will learn that force can not be regulated by prescribing the kind of instruments a country can make. Disarmament is not the remedy. Once men made war with clubs, and they could do it again if they had to. What the problem calls for is a stand not against any particular method of waging war, but against war itself, as the Kellogg pact provides! tt tt tt Reed's Cleverness TIMES change. Ten years ago Senator Borah of Idaho and Senator Reed of Missouri stood shoulder to shoulder to prevent ratification of the Versailles treaty and this country’s entrance into the League of Nations. Reed still opposes any co-operative movement for peace, but Borah has altered his views sufficiently to act as champion of the Kellogg pact. There is something to be admired in a man who sticks by his convictions. but there is more to be admired in one who has the courage to | alter them. You cannot have a watertight mind and grow at the seme time. When you meet a person who 1 holds the same views that he did twenty years ago, you can be pretty sure that he has lost the faculty for learning. | Senator Reed is one of the ! cleverest pleaders and prosecutors in ; the Senate, but he is no cleverer than he was twenty years ago. In the tragedy of his career.

person’s control. They are sometimes called the unlearned reflexes because they are exhibited almost immediately after birth. The blinking of the eye is a good example of an automatic reflex. If an object comes close to the eye, the eye will blink. It may be that the person is walking on a win-

THE INDIANAPOLIS TIMES

BY DR, MORRIS FISHBEIN Editor Journal of the American Medical Assooiation and of Hygcia, the Health Magazine. PRIMITIVE man in tropical countries uses clothes primarily for display. He is not concerned with keeping himself warm. He does not have to protect himself against the elements, and he soon becomes accustomed to the bites of insects. People differ in their ability to stand exposure. The swimmers of

One of the Season s Indoor Sports

DAILY HEALTH SERVICE Abiilty to Stand Exposure Very Varied

Q. —What is tic? A.—Tic is a habit spasm involving the making of certain movements at intervals.

:he English channel spend twenty:our hours in the cold sea protected only by a wool bathing suit and a

Reason

£iO TT TH AMERICA steps out. A As. of Argentina, of Italian oirt A ..ent to Rome and Mussolini put him into his jrmy, in harmony with his claim to the allegiance of Italians all over the map, whereupon the president of Argentina signed a decree, prohibiting all Italian ships from entering the harbor at. Buenos Aires, until Mussolini back down and back out. This will knock a hole in the Duce’s prestige in Italy and abroad and Argentina's willingness to wield the club will increase her standing with the nations of the world, with all of whom clubs are trumps. it a tt Governor Trumbull of Connecticut may make John Coolidge, his prospective son-in-law, a major, but the major will take orders from the Governor’s daughter just as soon as they are married, for she probably will follow the time-honored prece. dent and appoint herself a briga-dier-general. n tt tt Governor Roosevelt is handicapped greatly by having to follow Governor Smith, but if he makes good and is re-elected, the Democratic donkey will eat out of his hands tour years from now. a a a Monterey, Mexico, has prohibited hand-shaking to check the spread of the grip. / What a snap an epidemic must have in those lands where they greet each other by rubbing noses. tt tt This wholesale beheading of Chinese officials, convicted of stealing public funds, plays havoc with the widely advertised universal honesty of those people. at tt We are opposed to Senator Ring’s plan to defer naval building until another disarmament conference can be held, because after the last one, the other nations proceeded to build, according to the conference program, but we were put to sleep by the perfumed zephyrs of the millennium and built nothing. An international program means navies for other powers, but an ostermoor for Uncle Sam. a tt a The University of Texas is teaching its pupils to sleep. We don’t know what the program is, but the sure fire remedy is to give them copies of the Congressional Record. n tt tt A scientist announces that radio reception will be very poor during 1929. and re to sun spots, which will be very annoying to life on the hoof.

Daily Thought

Wrath is cruel, and anger is outrageous; but who is able to stand before envy?—Prov. 27:4. a • HOW bitter a thing it is to look into happiness through another mans eyes!— Shakespeare.

(Copyright, 1928, NEA Service, Inc., Printed in U. S. A. i

coat of grease, but they are continually moving. , A man who works at a desk in New York or Chicago may wear a thick woolen shirt, a woolen-lined waistcoat, a tweed suit and woolen lined motor coat. Riding home in his motor ca * he covers himself with a robe and complains of the cold. Woman's dress has changed greatly in recent years and has given much concern to the physiologists. Professor Leonard Hill, the noted London physiologist, points out that a civilized man, when naked and quiet, finds exposure to still air at 95 to 98 degrees fahrenheit not unbearably warm, 76 to 86 pleasant, 60 cold, and 40 to very cold. For sedentary occupations he wants the atmosphere under his clothes to be 95, and only about 20 per cent of the body’s surface is

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By Frederick LANDIS

PRESIDENT COOLIDGE should send a message of sympathy to this California football player who lost the game for his team by becoming confused and carrying the ball to his own goal, for he needs it more than all the kings who have received White House consolation.

Common Bridge Errors AND HOW TO CORRECT THEM BY W. W. WENTWORTH

9. TRYING TO ESTABLISH SIDE SUIT TOO SOON North (Dummy)— 4 5 3 8 2 OKQ J 9 495 4 3 2 WestLeads K EastSouth (Declarer)— 4AKQ 9 7 2 . V 9 7 O 10 7 5 3 ; 4 A The Bidding—South opens the bidding with one spade. West bids two hearts. North passes as he does not hold normal support in spades and any other bid would be misleading. South bids two spades and all pass. South might also have opened the bidding with two spades; an initial bid of two in a suit denotes the exact holding of six cards in that suit headed by the ace, king and queen. Deciding the Play West leads king of hearts and on the second round captures another trick with the ace of lcarts. Then West leads king of clubs which Declarer captures with ace of clubs. What suit should Declarer now lead? The Error—Declarer tries to establish diamonds at the first opportunity and leads that suit. The Correct Method—As soon as he is on the lead, Declarer draws opponents’ trumps, playing ace, king and queen of spades in that order with the probability that the five outstanding triumphs are divided three and two. Then the diamonds are established and game is assured for. if opponents lead any other suit after winning ace of diamonds. Declarer wins the trick by ruffing it. | The attempt to establish the diamonds too soon may result in sacrificing the game as opi>onents. having won two tricks in hearts and one in diamonds, may continue the diamond suit with the possibility ot

exposed to the air. On the other hand, people used to being outdoors can stand much colder temperatures. Children are sometimes dressed in thin garments with bare kneeS; in foreign districts and infrequently they wear as many as fourteen different garments, some of these sewed on for the winter. In the majority of cases children are being overclothed, and as a result do not develop any resistances to exposure. Insufficient clothing for the child, however, may lead to overexposure with numerous illnesses during infancy. Perhaps the question will never be settled until human beings have standardized clothing as they now .standardize most ether affairs in human life. .id pf AFS.oapi shrdl etaoi etao etao

CLUBS ARE TRUMPS HE'S ONLY A*MAJOR n n n HARD TO N FOLLOW AL

A lot has been published about the President’s sportsmanship in shooting birds down in Georgia, but it wasn’t, in it with the sportsmanship of that farmer’s wife in New York who choked a fox to death to save the life of the old family dog. tt tt President Hindenberg should not be so indignant over the refusal of the allies to remove their troops from Germany belore the payment of the war charges, for at the end of the Franco-German war, Ger. many kept her soldiers in France until the indemnity was paid, and France fed the soldiers.

winning the next diamond trick by ruffing. There is no pecessity of taking this lone chance of losing the game. The Principle—Draw trumps when you can do so without surrendering control of them and have a side suit which you can readily establish thereafter. (Copyright, 1929, Beady Reference Publishing Company)

This Date in U. S. History

Jan. 5 1781 —British, under Benedict Arnold, plundered Richmond, Va. 1784—England relinquished sovereignty over colonies. 1798 —Congress voted $12,800 to Kosciusko, Polish patriot, who aided the colonies during the Revolution.

Questions and Answers

You can get an answer to any answerable question of fact or information by writing to Frederick M. Kerby. Question Editor The Indianapolis Times’ Washington Bureau. 1322 New York avenue. Washington, D. C., inclosing 2 cents in stamps for reply. Medical and legal advice cannot be given, nor can extended research be made. All other questions will receive a personal reply. Unsigned requests cannot be answered. All letters are confidential. You are cordially invited to make use of this service. Who gave the order to fire the first shot against the Spanish fleet in the battle of Manila bay in the Spanish-American war? Captain Gridley of the Olympic, Dewey’s flag ship. It was fired from a battery of two eight-inch guns. When a man and a woman meet in the street who should speak first? The woman. What is the shortest prize fight on record? It is said to be the one that occurred at Carbondale, Pa., May 23, 1886, between Heald and Cannon The fight lasted thirty-nine seconds.

.JAN. 5, 1929

Id*** sad opinion* •*- pressed In Ibis column art those of one of America’s most Interesting writers and ar presented without retard to their agreement with the editorial attitude of this paper. The Editor.

IT SEEMS TOME U tt By HEYWOOD BROUN

“T HAVE a good tip on the market for you,” said a well-known comedian in his dressing room last night. He shall be nameless because he has been mentioned in this column too frequently and because he wa% doing me no favors. On account of a recent unfortunate occurrence in a New Year's eve poker game I was obliged to fall back upon the familiar objection, “What’ll I use for money?” “Oh,” he answered, “I thought you might like to have the fun of reading the financial page and watching it go up.” And, as a matter of fact, there is fun in that. Owning no share in any corporation, whatsoever, I still peruse the stock reports with regularity. I have always felt that there might come some time a decline so radical that it would be necessary for me to step in and support the market. In the meantime I have not beett idle, for it's my practice to make mind investments. I said mind not mine and consequently I did not even bother to ascertain the stock which Harpo Marx was boosting. It would be oil or silver and undoubtedly speculative. Actors are notoriously addicted to wildcat schemes. Easy come; easy go. I work hard for my pay and accordingly I always choose something substantial before I say, “Now if I only had the money I’d buy 100 shares of that.” But for the.lack of capital I Would be one of the richest men in America today. Mentally I acquired a huge block of Radio in the days when that company was Way up town. Os course, there were many times when the temptation to sell was very great. On the day the stock first went above 100 I had to wrestle with myself. “If I owned that 2,000 shares and I sold it at the present price I would have a fictitious profit of $120,000,” I kept saving to myself. But something of the blood Os the old bandit Burns is in me and nerving myself up to a scorn of piffling gains I exclaimed, “Let it ride.’' tt tt tt Wolf of Wall Street- • DUT mostly I like the metals. A year or so ago when Dorothy Parker lay sick in a hospital I suggested that she spread a phantom $5,000 over as many stocks and I would do the same. At the end of the month there was to be an ac- . counting and the mind investor who had made the greater profit was to receive $5 from the sucker. That $5 I won. But even if I got it the books would still show a loss on account of the overhead. ’ “ I spent practically 25 cents a day on editions with the opening midday and the Wall Street closing.’ ■ Still there was the elation of wieftory. I’ve always said that no woman is ever likely to make a Stic-’ cessful speculator. Mrs. Parker took things like the Pennsylvania’ Railroad and as I remember she was also interested in American Bank Note and Conde Nast. Cerre De Pasco was my first choice and after that Anaconda, Boot Fisheries I took because I’ve always liked the books of Conrad and admired men who go down to the sea in ships. tt tt tt Crisis in Cotton OH IT MAY be true that I am too much sentimental to play the game I’ve outlined. I remember I stayed awake all night on the afternoon that Chicksha Cotton Oil touched 45. - I couldn’t look at mayonnaise for a week. But I have my practical side 'and it is fair to say that I suffered even more when 1 participated in the ownership of industries Once I had 100 shares of American Sumatra Tobacco on a very conservative margin. That was the year of the late spring and I would wake up with a start at midnight whenever the wind howled about the gables of my home in Eighty-fifth street, “Have they taken the tender plants in for the night?” I would ' wonder, and toss back and forth in an agony of apprehension. And a certain sense of power was conferred upon me. I thought of the little room in Chicago where Harding was nominated and the smoke which curled up above the heads of all the Republican bosses. Some of that vapor, I felt sure, came from our own Sumatra.. Personally cigars make no appeal to me. Whenever I feel the urge to smoke one I eat a mutton chop instead. I find this keeps me trim and vigorous. But in imagination I pit my teeth continually into one of our own perfectos. in fact I began to behave like a cigar smoker and act in a masterful manner. When an office boy said that he didn’t know where he could get any copy pap* I clinched my teeth and growled, “If you can’t do the job, I’ll get a man that can,” When he cringed at this display of sheer, raw power, I relented. “Don’t call me sir,” I admonished him, “You’re not working for me. You’re working with me. I want to feel that every man in this plant is my friend.” However. It got tiresome after awhile. So strongly did I think tobacco during my association with American Sumatra that in somesubtle way I began to reek of the weed. I was so much a man’s man that my jaws ached from clinching my teeth. After a month I deeided that I would trade in my forcefulness and get my charm back. Besides, I had a profit of $98.75. Now I can sleep at night. I don’t care how the wind blows. . - f. Is it safe to use aluminum utensils for cooking? The United States Public Health Service, after many tests, has declared that food suffers no harm from being cooked in aluminum ware.