Indianapolis Times, Volume 40, Number 184, Indianapolis, Marion County, 22 December 1928 — Page 4
PAGE 4
SCKI PPS-NOWA.AD
K A Notable Omission When the house appropriation committee prepares the annual supply bills, it splits into sections, each of ■which takes extensive testimony on the particular measure to wMch it is assigned. The published hearings, which appear in December, constitute a veritable encyclopedia of information on every activity of the government. From them you can learn about such diverse subjects as reindeer in Alaska, trade with China, the extraction of helium gas, the condition of the army and navy, the feeding of Indian school children, or almost anything that strikes your fancy. It is noteworthy, therefore, when the hearings on the justice department appropriation bill appeared, there was practically no mention of prohibition. The department spends a third of its funds, or about $9,000,000 a year in enforcement. Prohibition litigation is a major assignment of district attorneys and has congested federal courts. Prohibition violators crowd the prisons. Yet in the testimony of Mrs. Mabel Walker Willebrandt, assistant attorney general in charge of the division oi prohibition, taxation, and prisons, the subject of enforcement was ignored. . Members of the subcommittee apparently had no interest in or curiosity about ths mportant phase of the work of the department of justce, although they dealt extensively with other activities. Admiral Billard of the coast guard and Prohibition Commissioner Doran were quizzed at length by another subcommittee, but Mrs. Willebrandt escaped. We wonder why. It is true that Mrs. Willebrandt has been the center of a great deal of stormy debate, and the members of the committee may have wanted to avoid argument. Also, they may have felt that the prohibition situation was quite hopeless and that it would be useless for them to delve into it. Meantime, congestion in the federal courts will continue to grow. A Suit That May Affect You Cities in which the rates charged by street car companies, electric light companies, and other public utilities are in dispute will be interested in the outcome of a suit to be heard in the United States Supreme court Jan. 2. Rates generally are based on valuations and the court has been asked to give a decision which strikes at the heart of the valuation controversy. The question at issue is whether rate-making bodies shall fix valuation at the amount actually invested in a property, or shall be obliged to fix valuation at the cost of reproduction at present-day prices. The litigation involves the Interstate Commerce commission and the small St. Louis and O’Fallon railway. It is regarded as so important that the railways of the country are supporting the contentions of the St. Louis company. The commission undertook to recover from the railway sums it had earned in excess of 5Vi per cent, under the recapture clause of the Transportation act,, which permits railroads to earn that percentage on their valuation. The company resisted, on the theory that it had been valued improperly by the commission. A clause from a brief just filed states the issue: “It appears upon the face of the report that the commission did not determine or undertake to determine the ‘present value’ of the O’Fallon by consideration of all relevant facts and circumstances, but that its so-called findings of value in respect to the O’Fallon were based upon a mathematical formula, the avowed purpose of which was to determine the approximate investment in its property.” The government was sustained in the federal district court in Missouri, but the railroads appealed. A decision adverse to the government would permit railroads of the country to increase their total valuation from the 23 billions fixed by the I. C. C. to 35 billions. This would make possible freight rate increase of several hundred millions and virtually would nullify the powers of the I. C. C., since legal rates would be higher than the traffic would bear. The same principle, applied generally to utilities, would permit increases in their total valuations in excess of 30 billions. Rate increases would follow. Utility patrons, for all time to come, would be obliged to pay rates to yield a return on the greater amounts. Boulder Dam Wins A great constructive dream is to become a great constructive fact. Boulder dam is authorized by law. The work of taming the Colorado river, prisoning it so it no longer can menace life and property, and making it toil to build a great empire in the southwest, begins soon. Too much credit can not be given Senator Hiram W. Johnson and Representative Phil Swing for their difficult fight in 'behalf of this measure. Starting to work for the benefit of their state, they found a great national issue involved in the power to be generated at their dam. They found a mighty lobby arrayed against them and the fate of their state and their own political fortunes in the balance against this lobby. They fought gallantly and well. Their bill passed and was signed by the President in a form which makes possible protection of the public interest in Boulder dam power. They deserve gratitude and praise, as do others who helped them. Successful conclusion of this great fight has made the present year notable. A Rich Man and the Law Attorneys for Harry F. Sinclair just have filed briefs in the United States Supreme court setting forth arguments against having Sinclair serve three months in a common jail for contempt of the senate. Sinclair’s offense occurred in March, 1924. He was indicted, and unsuccessfully contested the validity of the in litigation which finally reached the Supreme court. He was brought to trial and convicted in March, 1927, and appealed. The court of appeals recently asked the United States Supreme court for instructions, and it is in connection with this request that the brief just has been filed. Thus nearly five years have elapsed since Sinclair refused to give information the senate public lands committee considered necessary in its investigation of the oil scandals, and the litigation growing out of this incident is not yet at an end. Sinclair’s millions and the legal talent they employed have enabled him to take fullest advantage of the law’s delays and technicalities. The conclusion that a poor man accused of a criminal offense would have enjoyed no such advantage is inescapable.
The Indianapolis Times (A BCRIPFS-HOYVAKI) NEWSPAPER) Owned and published dally (except Sunday) by The Indianapolis Times Publishing Cos., 214-220 W. Maryland Street, Indianapolis, Ind. Price in Marlon County 2 cents —10 cents a week; elsewhere, 3 cents —12 cents a week. BOYD GURLEY, ROY W. FRANK G MORRISON, Editor. President. Business Manager. PHONE— RILEY 5651. SATURDAY. DEC. 22. 1928. Member of United Press, Scripps Howard Newspaper Alliance, Newspaper Enterprise Association, Newspaper Information Service and Audit Bureau of Circulations. “Give Light and the People Will Find Their Own Way.”
Michigan Learning The question of whether the imposition of drastic penalties will reduce crime is being tested through Michigan’s habitual criminal law, which specifies life imprisonment for persons convicted four or more times of violating the prohibition laws. Attorney General William M. Brucker estimates that 2,000 persons in Detroit alone are liable to life imprisonment under the law. The prosecuting attorney has asked for a list of such persons, and says that when it is supplied by police he will go Into court and ask for imposition of the penalty. He adds that the law gives his office no choice. The absurdity of putting 2,000 persons in jail for life from a single county is apparent. The injustice of sentences previously imposed has caused wide protest. Equally important is the apparent demonstration that the law has failed to check the liquor traffic. Michigan’s experience should be useful in attempting to solve the problem of prohibition enforcement elsewhere. It remains only to try hanging. Elinor Wylie Is Dead Men loved her for her beauty. Intellectuals, literary folk, and ordinary people who love beautiful words, beautifully strong together, admired her for her genius. Gossips tore her to pieces because she defied convention. Her life was a flashing, meteor-like thing of vivid experience. Unquestionably, she lived deeply. She was fearless where most people tremble, true to something within herself when it demanded that she do something for which she could not escape censure; brilliant; more than a little touched with vanity, from all reports; most human. She died at 42, when her genius should have been just approaching its head of crystallization and rounded maturity. The Issue Should Be Met Some senators have expressed a willingness to vote for the confirmmation of Roy O. West as secretary of the interior because West promised, at hearings to determine his fitness for the office, not to participate in delibrations in which the interests of Samuel Insull, the power mandate, were involved. In any event, say these senators, West probably will not remain in office after March 4. West’s promise does not meet the issue raised by his appointment. In fact, the necessity for his making such a promise only makes more apparent the impropriety of his appointment in the first place. “Merry Christmas” was wished in thirty languages at Columbia university the other day, and “Christmas vme ho mo,” of West Africa was voted best. Apparently they have bootleggers in Africa, too. A man in Port Chester, N. Y., took a raging toothache to a dentist’s office. The dentist being out, the patient hanged himself. There’s always some way to end a toothache. A man sentenced to life imprisonment in New York the other day sold the Brooklyn bridge twice. Relatives had him put away, it is rumored, to keep him from taking a few mortgages on it. The dew is the condensed breath of the earth, according to modern weather experts. Maybe that song should read: “Maxwelton’s braes are bonny, where early the breath of the earth condenses.” Fewer girls marry in the colder cities of the north than In the south, according to University of Wisconsin statistics. Perhaps it’s because the ladies are beautiful but numb. Many students come to college just to get atmosphere, says a dean at Columbia. Maybe that’s why so many get the air. it’s strange there aren’t more women architects—so many of them are designing. Winter’s here. It’s time to return that lawnmower and borrow a snow shovel.
■ David Dietz on Science .. Secrets of Moon No. 240
THE moon is the earth’s nearest neighbor in space. But the moon still has many secrets which astronomers have not been able to penetrate. The moon is 240,000 miles away. The view of it, through a big telescope like the 100-inch telescope at Mt. Wilson, is approximately the same as the view which one would get with the unaided eye if the moon were only several hundred miles away. On clear nights, when seeing is good, as the astronomers say, the view is about that which the unaided eye would give if the moon were only fifty miles
<r *'• 7 * * 1 r * *• ' cwi. •> J SURMCe OF ** J THe noon.
unaffected by temperature changes. A temperature difference amounting to a thousandth of a degree between the two sides of the mirror will result in a slight warping of the 100-inch mirror at Mt. Wilson which, small as the warping is, nevertheless prevents the telescope doing its best. The 200-inch mirror of fused quartz may give so much better a view of the moon as to solve many problems. The better view may yield some knowledge as to the nature of the rocks composing the moon’s surface. It may also help solve the mystery of the moon’s craters. These craters which resemble extinct volcanoes in appearance, may or may not be of volcanic origin. At present, there is no way of determining. But if the new telescope reveals additional details of the structure of the craters, the problem may be solved. Radiating across the moon’s surface from some of these craters are light-colored streaks. They look like streak of paint on the moon’s surface. The new telescope may tell something about them. Astronomers have hazarded the guess that they may be stains on the rocks of the moon’s surface caused by gases welling up through cracks in the surface in the early days of the moon’s history.
M. E. TRACY SAYS: “Why Do People Want to Be Crooked When There Are so Many Legitimate Ways to Make Money?”
“TX7"E shall co-operate to the * * fullest extent with the federal authorities in enforcing the prohibition law,” says Grover A. Whalen, newly appointed police commissioner of New York. “Speakeasies and every such place —call them what you will—are breeding places of crime,” he says. "To effect a cure, we must eliminate the source.” Paste that in your scrapbook. No matter how things turn out, It will be worth referring to some day. If Whalen means what he says, or is able to carry it out, not only the greatest city, but the entire country will have plenty of entertainment, if not uplift. According to the best estimates there are 20,000 speakeasies in tew York, and according to the worst suspicions, they have enjoyed more or less police protection. Sharps have figured that if each speakeasy paid SSO a week, the graft would amount to $52,000,000 a year. Making no allowance for the bootleggers, rum runners, the proprietors themselves and others who have a direct interest in the affair, that is some proposition to go up against. u u n Can’t Beat Crime Game Joseph H. Unger, nabbed by federal authorities in possession of $2,000,000 worth of dope, pleads guilty. He might have gotten away with it but for the Rothstein case. All the available papers in that case were seized by District Attorney Banton of New York. Federal authorities were given permission to examine them. The Twentieth Century Limited was stopped and Unger was caught with the goods. Seven weeks ago he was a prosperous dope peddler. Now he faces a twelve-year prison term. What happened to Unger is only one incident in the Rothstein case. The house of cards which this gambler built up for himself and his associates is just beginning to fall. Whether the man who actually murdered him is ever identified, the chances are that half a dozen people will land In the penitentiary for one crooked piece of work, or another which he helped to engineer. 1 You simply cannot beat the game, no matter how big, respectable or well connected it appears. Worse than that, you can never be sure that the one most responsible will get the worst of it. The only safe course Is to keep away from it. * xr a Opportunity Knocking Why do people want to be crooked when there are so many legitimate ways to make money? There never was a time or place when straight living could be made to pay so well as in the United States of America right now. Opportunity is knocking at every young man’s door. Each sunrise sees some new enterprise established calling for skilled workmen and good executives. It also sees most of the older enterprises growing bigger. This year we will manufacture nearly 1,000,000 more automobiles than we did last, and there is no reason to suppose that we will do less next year. That means employment for thousands of people and fortunes for hundreds. It means more garages, more tires, more filling stations, more travel. The one dark spot in the picture is the certainty of more accidents. * Autos and Murderers Last year 21,160 persons met death in this country through automobile accidents, excluding collisions with railroad trains and street cars. In collisions with railroad trains 1,676 were killed and in collisions with street cars 476. That makes a total of 21,312, or nearly one-half as many as lost their lives in battle during the late war. | There ought to be some way to operate our automobiles and trucks, even though they do number 23,000,000, without such a bloody sacrifice. So, too, there ought to be some way to live in this country without 9,470 homicides, as occurred last year, or 14,356 suicides. Though we seem able to make progress in combating most fatal maladies, the suicide and automobile toll continues to increase. What is the explanation? Has the steel entered our blood? One would suppose that the faster we can go the more willing we would be to slow up for a moment. So, too, one would suppose that suicide would diminish as poverty decreases. No doubt there is a reason for this seeming paradox, but who can guess it? * u * Durant’s Contest Referring to prohibition once more, you will remember that William C. Durant offered a $25,000 prize some time ago for the best plan of enforcing it. Twenty-three thousand two hundred and thirty persons made answer. Among other things, capital punishment was recommended by 187; life imprisonment, 188; torture, 60; changing the name of the law, 22; permitting light wines and beer, 1,050; government manufacture and sale, 418; use of the army and navy, 1,171; special spy system, 679; classing violation as treason, 131; the abolition of juries, 100; whipping violators, 73; disenfranchising violators, 477. From this it will be seen that those favoring light wines and beer, though representing a small minority, are still the largest single group. It will also be seen that many of the ideas run to violent and extreme measures, though the primary object is to make men temperate.
away. The acI companying sketch shows such a view. The new 2001 n c h telescope, planned by the California Institute of Technology, will be from five to ten times as powerful as the 100-inch telescope, j In addition, it may give better "seeing” because it is planned to use fused quartz for the big mirror. Fused quartz Is
THE INDIANAPOLIS TIMES
BOLIVIA and Paraguay show almost superhuman character to be aljle to avoid strife after they have tasted blood, for when the dogs of war go mad, there’s real hydrophobia. They can bite whole nations over night, one drop of frothy propaganda being enough to make mil lions crazy. Everybody goes wild in time of war, except the profiteers; they keep their heads, also everything else that’s valuable. ’ War is the great red graft! tt n Senator Schall, blind statesman from Minnesota, is guided about Washington by a powerful police dog. It would be better for the country if all our senators were guided by influences equally noble. tt tt tt As New Year’s approaches, we suggest to the papers that they turn over anew leaf and stop publishing the pictures of the motion picture pee-wees who are giving the plans and specifications of contemplated divorces. O tt tt “Service” is the most abused word in the dictionary, but it was the real article when Grover Whalen, manager of Wanamaker’s New York store, accepte dthe management of the New York police force at a sacrifice of SIOO,OOO a year. u n The United States and Canada are now trying to arrange it so the power people can be induced to let Niagara Falls have enough water to keep on being a success. We trust it will be some time before the power trust finds a way to cash in the complexion of the sunset. tt a We wouldn’t go across the street to see this Russian grand duke who’s now oratorically touring the country, but we would have given a lot to see old Deadwood. Dick, who recently visited Chicago. a a a After seeing Senator Borah eat raw meat so thrillingly all these years with the opposition, it’s a regret to behold his working affirmatively to put over the peace treaty. It’s as tragic as to take a maneating tiger out of the cage and hitch him up with an elephant to pull stakes. tt a Before the rushing procession of events blots from your mind the recollection of the Vestris sea tragedy, permit us to observe that all the vociferous investigating has come to nothing—the grand terminal of almost all investigations.
For the leaders of this people cause them to err; and they that are led of them are destroyed.— Isaiah 9:16. IT is better for a city to be governed by a good man than by good laws.—Aristotle.
|^p^ r : 23
Whooping Cough Serum Value Doubtful
BY DR. MORRIS FISHBEIN Editor Journal of the American Medical Association and of Hyrela. the Health Magazine. WHOOPING COUGH causes more deaths than do most of the other communicable diseases of childhood. It is fatal, however, only to the very young, and the immediate cause of death is nearly always some secondary infection. In 1927 there were 16,231 cases of this disease in New York state with 478 deaths, and 11,439 cases in Illinois with 306 deaths. Many of the cases which are extremely mild are probably not reported, and in many instances when death occurs from some complicating cause the death certificate does not reveal the actual cause of death. For several years attempts have been made to protect children against whooping cough by a vaccine made from the germs which
Reason
Daily Thought
The Light in the Window!
DAILY HEALTH SERVICE
are associated with the disease. This vaccine has been in use in all some sixteen years. A recent resume of the subject made by Drs. L. W. Sauer and L. Hambrecht indicates that the vaccine is not valuable unless given extremely early in times of epidemic. Children so often are exposed long before they can be protected against the disease that the value of the vaccines in any event is extremely doubtful. These authorities are convinced that the one certain method of controlling this condition is find out as soon as possible whether or not a child has whooping cough and, if it has the disease, to isolate it immediately and to quarantine it strictly so that the disease cannot be spread to other children. A method has been developed for determining whether or not a child
By Frederick LANDIS
THIS proposition to build a summer White House some place where the fish bite and the musquitoes don’t has given more activity to our realtors than anything since Florida flopped.
Questions and Answers
You can get an answer to any answerable question of face or information fcy writing to Frederick M. Kerby. Question Editor The Indianapolis Times’ Washington Bureau, 1322 New York avenue, Washington. D. C.. inclosing 3 cents in stamps for reply. Medical and legal advice cannot be given, nor can extended research be made. All other questions will receive a personal reply. Unsigned requests can not be answered. All letters are confidential You ere cordially Invited to make use of this service. In the event a World war veteran can not repay a loan on his service certificate or bonus what happens? If the loan is not paid at maturity, the holder of the note presents it and the adjusted service certificate attached to it as security to the government, which pays the amount borrowed together with accumulated interest. The veteran may redeem the certificate, but if he does not the government deducts the amount of the ioan and interest and pays the balance to the veteran or his heirs exactly as if the policy had never had a loan made upon it. Where is the Roosevtl dam and what particular purpose does it serve? Roosevelt dam is an important irrigation undertaking of the United States reclamation service located in the valley of the Salt rived, Arizona, below the junction of that river with Tonto Creek in the vicinity of Phoenix. It is named for Theodore Roosevelt. Ahe Orientals prohibited by federal law from owning property in the United States? There is no federal law and no state has a law prohibiting ownership of personal property by aliens. Several states prohibit aliens ineligible to American citizenship from owning real estate in those states. Chinese, Japanese and Hindus are not eligible to American citizenship, unless bom in the United States. What were the total ordinary receipts of the United States government in 1926? $3,962,755,690. What colleges constitute “The Big Three?” Yale, Harvard and Princeton are sometimes referred to as such. Do the cylinders of a Wright Whirlwind motor rotate? They are stationary. What is a strait? A narrow passage of water connecting two large bodies of water.
has the disease through testing the development of the bacteria in the throat by having the child cough a culture medium on which the bacteria will grow. If it is found that the germs associated with whooping cough are present in the throat of the child, immediate steps must be taken to see to it that other children are not exposed. There are all sorts of causes of coughs, and mothers far too frequently temporize when a cough appears in a child, so that it coughing vigorously before medical attention is brought in and opportunity given to prevent the spread of disease to other children. If parents would realize their responsibility in this connection for other children as well as for their own, it is possible that this disease might be brought under better control.
THE REAL MAD DOGS 000 A SENATOR’S GUIDE 0 0 0 EVEN A COLDER DAY
WrL IsSfe, /x : : ;X
A LOT has been said about Mussolini’s political merger by which he has taken over seven of the thirteen jobs in the Italian cabinet, but every President of the United States who has run his own administration has controlled his entire cabinet. a a It was 15 degrees below zero when store, accepted the management of were arrested for conspiring to violate the Volstead law, but it will be a colder day than that when all the crooked political beneficiaries of the booze law are apprehended.
Os what are golf balls made? About 200 yards of rubber threat is wound under tension, around a core, forming the center, which is then enclosed in a cover. There are three kinds of cores used in golf balls: solid rubber; soft core (a wide band of rubber bunched together) and the semi-liquid core (a small hollow sphere of rubber which Is filled with a thick semi-liquid substance). Golf ball covers are made chiefly of balata. Do the cadets at West Point and midshipmen at Annapolis receive pay from the government? The pay of midshipmen at the Naval Academy at Annapolis is S7BO a year, commencing at the date of admission. The pay of a cadet at the United States Military Academy at West Point is S7BO a year and commutation of rations at 80 cents per day to commence with his admission to the academy. The total is $1,072 for cadets. Where should one register Hol-stein-Friesian cattle? With the Holstein-Friesian Association of America, at Brattleboro, Vt, Who are “The Big Four” among the college coaches? Rochne of Notre Dame, Warner of Stanford, Jones of Yale and Roper of Princeton are spoken of as "The Big Four.” What is the premium on a Columbian half dollar dated 1893? It commands no premium. What are the ages of Tom Mix and Hoot Gibson? Tom Mix will be 50 years old in January, 1929, and Hoot Gibson is 35.
This Date in U. S. History
December 22 1789—North Carolina ceded her western lands to congress. 1825—Congress voted $200,000 and 24,000 acres in Florida to LaFayette. 1864—Steamship North America lost at sea with 200 sick soldiers aboard. 1891—United States troops routed Mexican rebels from Texas.
DEC. 22, 1928
IT SEEMS TOME * By HEYWOOD BROUN
Idea* and opinion* expressed in this eolinn are those of one of America’* most Interesting w t iter* and are presented without regard to their agreement with the editorial attitude of this paper. The Editor.
THE opera hat which I bought in order to look distinguished has given entire satisfaction so far. Satisfaction is too dim a w6rd. At the last poker game the hat was a sensation. All
1
the winners, who didn't care what they did with their time, took turns in playing with It. After this I think I shall have to make a rule that nobody can fool with it but me. I want it to be a oneman hat and not an old topper ready to put on Its performance for any stranger.
And probably it doesn’t do a hat much good to be plopped too frequently. Through careful inquiry I have informed myself as to th3 expectation of opera hats. The sad news Is that in New York the life of such a headpiece is, at best, five years. In the end the pace gets even those of the finest manufacture. Mine Is imported from Paris. Yet even so, its career can be only for a little while. There ought to be a book on the care and conditioning of opera hats. The spring must be exercised so often or it will rust. And yet too much plopping is bad for a hat. My present intention is to take the hat (let’s call its Emil for convenience) out of the closet every afternoon, provided the weather is propitious, and give it one or two Jounces between the hours of 2:30 and 3. You see a lot of opera hats get nothing but night air, or perhaps a little whiff of dampish dawns. nun Doomed From Start BUT perhaps no system makes umuch difference in the long run. I am told by one expert that the life of an opera hat is computed in the factory by means of delicate apparatus. Each explosion takes just so much out of its life. The better models are guaranteed for 1,000 explosions. There are also cheaper hats for the Chicago trade which can only make 500 forays. I feel confident that Emil is a 1,000plop hat. So delicate is the mechanism that there is practically never a variation of more than one or two episodes in the life of an opera hat. Proudly it springs out into a wild charge for the I,looth time. This final plop constitutes both hail and farewell. Slowly it will sink back into the pancake position, never to rise again. In a sense Emil Is doomed to an artificial existence. He never will know anything of life except in its / stiff-shirted phases. The sharp, sweet tang of champagne he may share, but never know the joys of water. Mystery to Emil Among other deprivations, Emil will never know me at my best. A sight of the real Heywood Broun Is denied to him. If he thinks of me at all, and I warrant he does it is as a bon vivant, a boulevardieri a dilletante, a raconteur and so on. I am not one who moves through life with a hard smile and an epigram forever on his lips, but Emil can’t quite be blamed for thinking so. He sees me as dapper, cynical and merciless. He has seen my leer and heard my mocking laughter. He knows my taxicab manner. Very likely ho thinks that I am no better than a wolf In Anderson and Sheppard’s clothing. That I can not help. Maddened with wine and music, I am what I am. I can say, “Peccavi,” even though I can’t pronounce It. Perhaps Emil is not wholly unjust to the Broun who slinks cat-like and menacing through the great city between the hours of Bp. m. and 7 a. m. If he could see me at noon, bathed in the sweat of honest toil, things might be very different, a a tt Mouse or Man BUT perhaps things are better as they are. I have no great desire to allow Emil to know that I have my secret weaknesses and virtues. I must conquer this hat or It will conquer me. A high hat knows by some subtle intuition the nature J of its owner. If I ever cringed or m hesitated Emil would be down about j my ears in a moment. 1 I rather think that Emil does like ' me. Since he is not second-hand but came straight from the shop, . he never has had another master. ‘ According to his lights, I am a very gallant gentleman. Pray heaven he may never know the truth. For it is my intention that Emil and I should meet our problems with courage and bravado. Crushed for the I,oooth time, his heart and mainspring will break. Then It will all be over. Fini! I feel that I am temperamentally fit to control the destinies of an opera hat. With me it will live dangerously. I am not one to say to him, “Rest and relax, there will be no more plopping tonight,” Rather I will say, “Allez,” as we sally forth again. “Once more into the beach” where the corks pop there Emil will be called upon to plop and plop—to plop until it hurts. Together we shall crackle like machine guns loosed against a raiding party. Emil Is made of the right kind of stuff, “lay on, M. McDuff,” is his slogan. I like It that way. If I ever have another opera hat it will - be one of Emil’s direct descendants. For If I asked my hat, “Precisely how many plops have you got left?” I would choose to be associated with one of Emil's sort who would reply, “Hell’s bells, mon capitaine, I don’t keep any track—shoot the works.” (Copyright, 1928, lor Th* Time*)
