Indianapolis Times, Volume 38, Number 312, Indianapolis, Marion County, 7 April 1927 — Page 7

APRIL 7, 1927

HERE ARE SOME ANSWERS ON ‘SHOULD HE MARRY HER?’

Readers Help College Youth Solve His Problem. By Martha Lee Several days ago a college boy signing himself “K” wrote into this column, saying that a girl—marriage with whom would spoil his college career and would embitter his parents —was Insisting that he marry her. The girl, an orphan, had been his sweetheart for two years and wanted “K” to give her coming child a name. The young mhn was undecided what course to pursue. Some of those who read his published letter have sent in opinions. The first letter is from,a man. Don't Carelessly Wreck Future Pear 'Martha, Lee: T think the sill in the case of “K" should have used more judgment than sho did. Ts “K" knows she has been out with others. * think Jv is quite justified in not fpeiingr that he should carelessly wreck his future. He does not know what the other fc,low s standing with tho girl has been, but has he not a right to judge lrora his own experience with lier? I should say that if ho is not sure of facts, he should certainly not marry her. MB. Q . I suspect the next letter from M. M. M. is not of masculine origin. 'Boy Friends’ Will Encourage 1 Dear Martha Lee: Mo wonder that fellow signing himself "K” doubts that girl’s degree of friendship with other men. This is the reason: He knows that she is not really a bad girl. The latter are too wise to get into the kind of trouble that this girl has, so “K” knows she is not However, he wants to justify himself for the weak, cowardly thing he wants to do. so he hatches up the fact that she may have gone with others. Os course, his “boy friends” will encourage him in this and will no doubt convince him that the girl is bad: indeed, I have known a> such instances where they would lie to a .voung man to “save him from himself, ’ and keep him from doing what they think would be an unwise thing. . There's no doubt “K” is just kidding himself—or trying to. M. M. M. Is the next letter from a man or woman? Money, College No Excuse Dear Martha Lee: The boy “K” practically admits that lie is to blame. The fact, that ho is a college boy and his folks have money surely doesn't excuse him. Too many men take that unfair, cold-blooded attitude that this young man wants to and consider themselves immune from blame. He admits that the girl’s parents are dead and that he doesn't know what she will do. He is a cad to say under the circumstances that “he would be losing a lot." So will she. I have a son. but I hope I will never influence him from being a man when his duty is plain. It is funny that "R” is so puzzled now and that, it took him two years to find out about, her having acquaintance with other fellows. Lot him stand by lier in her time of need, I say. ONE writ) HAS BEEN THERE. The following opinion from “Impersonal” seems to have a masculine tinge. Tries to Weigh Sorrows Dear Martha Lee: T sympathize with that little grirl who did wrong and got herself into trouble, and I know it is probable that “K’ is an much in the wrong ns she is. but taking this case from a broad standpoint, the tacts arc these: The girl has no otic who would suffer irom lier inability to give, the child a name. The boy has parents, many friends, his school career —a hundred things that

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would be affected. Fee him not to marry Ih* girl. wofilcl cause her mental suffering in addition to what physical suffering which would be tiers anyway. For him to marry her would cause great mental suffering to his parents and relatives, not counting himself. So weigh tho burden of puiu—it would unfairly tip in the boy's direction a hundred time!. Cold, this may sound, but it's fact. IMPERSONAL. A woman tells of her personal experience: She Suffered Alone Dear Martha Lee: I am a woman who once refused to take money or help from my child's father, because I was too proud. I knew that what I deserved from him waß a homo and protection. X did not get that, so I took nothing, and I know what suffering and childbirth are—alone. Only women who have erred ean touch the depths of suffering that come under these conditions. I have profited by my mistake. Life is now good to me ami the past is an evil dream, but 1 feel that a girl who has to bear the mistakes and errors of both herself and Hie mail is unjustly burdened, llow can a. man under such circumstances expect future freedom of conscience and real joy from living? “KNOWING WHEREOF I SPEAK. ’ This man defends “K” valiantly. Worth Much Investigation Dear Martha Lee: In regard to “K” who asked if he should marry tho girl who expected him to: I should say he shows himself man enough to shoulder his half the blame, if he is sure that he should. However, he should realize that it is worth endless investigation to guard himself from spoiling his future. He should certainly look twice before he leaps into marriage with this girl. As she has knowledge of his parents’ wealth, it looks to me like she is trying to "nass the buck" on to one well blessed with cash. MR. ROT D. The next man has an original idea, anyway. Takes Court Test Dear Martha Lee: “K" should be subjected to the same test that is present ,n courts which that “A man is presumed to be innocent, until he is proved guilty.” Personally I think “K" shows himself as being rather weak in even considering whether he should assume a blamn that he has no proof that he is guilty of. By the way, why should a man always lie spoken of in such a case as having “wrouged" a girl?—there is something to the contentipn that she, by accepting relations with this boy, has “wronged" him and his future. “HARD BOILED" MILLIAS. The woman in the next letter should understand this “K” girl’s case. Had Personal Experience Dear Martha Lee: I am s. woman who has gone through what the poor girl to whom “K” referred, will have to meet. I know what it is to real’ a child without a father. I know what hells of mental as well as physical suffering are before that girl. I think —7 know-, that “K" Is a coward if ho will coolly let that girl bear al. the suffering—ami alone. Whan sunshine and fair weather were at hand, he was eagerly at hand, ready to share the joys of life (or what seemed so) but now that black shadows, which are as much his fault as

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hers—have descended upon her, he wants to run. Coward. I say! A WOMAN WHO ONCE SUFFERED. Can a man have written this? Wife WiFTall Short Dear Maratha Lee: Here's a message to the young man “K.” He will spurn the girl who will now have to go through hell fire for him. but tho chances are 01) out of 100, that when lie does marry he’ll get a girl who will not love him half as much as this pood girl did. or ever do half as much for him. I’ve seen that kind of thing work out that way many times. POSITIVE PETE. Presents From Men? Dear Martha Lee: Is there any harm In a girl who is 17, accepting such a present as a scarf from a fellow? ANXIOUS B E Yes. When we say anything Is not “proper” to do, we mean that people have found from experience that certain things haven’t good results. Taking presents from men, other than candy, Mowers, etc., is not “proper.” Better not do it.

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THE INDIANAPOLIS TIMES

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PAGE 7

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