Indianapolis Times, Volume 38, Number 10, Indianapolis, Marion County, 24 May 1926 — Page 4

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The Indianapolis Times ROY W. HOWARD, President. BOYD GURLEY, Editor. • WM. A. MAYBORN, Bus. Mgr. Member of the Scrlpps-Howard Newspaper Alliance • • • Client of the United Tress and the NEA Service * • • Member of tho Audit Bureau of Circulations. % Published daily except Sunday by Indianapolis Times Publishing Cos., 214-220 W. Maryland St, Indianapolis • • • Subscription Rates: Indianapolis—Ten Cents a Week. Elsewhere—Twelve Cents a Week • • • PHONE—MA In 3000.

No law shall be passed restraining the free interchange of thought and opinion, or restricting the right to speak, write, or print freely, on any subject whatever.—Constitution of Indiana.

KNOW YOUR OWN STATE Indiana's farm wealth is 6.6 per cent larger than the national farm wealth in proporitlon to the national total, the latter being 21.1 las compared with 27.7 per cent in Indiana. The farmer’s income in Indiana is 22 per cent of tho state’s total income, against a national figure of 16.3. Farm population in Indiana is 20.9, of the total as compared with 29.9 of tho national population. The relative advantages of the Indiana farmer’s position are apparent.

SOME DIFFERENCE Every wage earner in this country should read the following quotation: “The possession of Muscle Shoals by private and self-seeking interests that would exploit these great properties for their own selfish aims, the benefits of what should be returned to the people whose money paid for them, is in direct opposition to the original purposes and littlo less than an insult to the integrity and stability of the great American Government, and a prostitution of the confidence of American people.’’ That is what the Alabama Federation of Labor thinks about the proposed lease of Muscle Shoals now pending before Congress. It is what wage earners everywhere should think. If the Government operates Muscle Shoals, wage earners everywhere are going to have more money. For Government operation will break the back of the national power combine and force it to supply the Nation’s wage earners with reasonably cheap electricity for their homes. ; There Is a lot of difference for the family pocket- ; book between 10 cents and 2 cents a kilowatt hour. ! GUARDIANS FOR VETERANS It should not be necessary for a veteran of the world war to be declared insane to have the Government look after his financial support. It is a wrong practice and a wrong theory of law. Unless Congress changes the present guardianship law the unfortunate business of creating “lunatics’’ and then farming their estates will go on. The Tiouse has passed the necessary corrective legislation, but the Senate has not given the matter its serious attention- As the law now stands the exsoldier is either sane or insane. If he is sane he can not get certain financial aid which would be extended to him if lie were insane—in tfie eye of the law. He may need the financial aid and he may he in no condition, physically or mentally, to look after his own business, but he can have neither the aid nor the guaradianship unless and until a court pronounces him insane. This is medieval. It is going back to long outgrowth notions about insanity. In the first place there is no sharp line between perfect sanity and complete insanity. There is a border line where thousands hover. It is said that no one is completely sane and no one completely insane. The test should be not insanity, but physical or other inability to look after one’s self. There is a natural prejudice against beirg adjudicated insane. It is an incident of personal liberty for which safeguard should be provided against insanity properly. AUTOS AND SILK STOCKINGS There was a day when people bought a,cotton stocking or two. Those days have vanished into the past along with Dobbin. Dobbin’s buggy has gone, too, the way of all flesh and one-hoss shays. There were 13,824 automobiles in the sweet old days of 1900, and 150,864 pairs of silk stockings were sold in flouncy 1899. Last year there were 17,000,000 autos, and there must have been 300,000,000 pairs of silk stockiings. The last figures on silk stockings at our command are those for 1921, and there were more than 217,000,000 then. The automobiles get us there, and silk feels nicer. RECORDS "It never rains but. it pours,” is a saying that may be applied to the current crop of new track records. Roland Locke, famous Nebraska flash, was clocked in the hundred-yard dash in the amazing time of nine and a half seconds. People questioned it; it was unb/elievable; anyway, there was a wind at his back- And about the same time he set a new mark for the 220—also “unofficial.” And then Charlie Paddock, the world*s “fastest human,” proved that nine and a half seconds in the 100-yard dash is possible. These records have withstood the assaults of time and thousands of athletes- And Charlie Hoff, the Scandinavian wonder, continues to set new pole vault records with almost every appearance. 'Tis a (lizzv age. They seem to breed men these days, as well as sheiks and drug store cowboys. SINCLAIR LEWIS Since the celebrated author of “Main Street,” “Babbitt” and “Arrowsmith ’ turned down the Pulitzer award for the last named novel, he has been the subject of countless editorials, “letters to the editor” and what not, most of them blazing away at him with the assumption that he is out after a little notoriety. Perhaps such an assumption is justified; perhaps, again, it isn't. Certainly it isn’t weakened by the fact that Lewis went out of bis way to attract attention to himself by blaspheming from a Kansas City pulpit. It may have been consistent with the man’s impatience with fundamentalism—as set forth so profitably in “Main Street” and “Babbitt”—that he should lay his watch before him and then invite upon himself the wrath of the Creator, but ( it hardly was good taste. To the degree that he evoked large gobs of disgust from a citizenry that is not fond of such exhibitions of sensationalism, to that degree also has he awakened tho suspicion of those who otherwise might acclaim his spurning of the Pulitzer award as a staunch stand in a good Cause. Certainly the Pulitzer committee has invi&d attack in tie past with .some o£ its decisions. With-

out doubt it has on occasion overlooked an author’s best work and then later conferred honor on him for something inferior. But the committee probably would have felt the sting a little more had the wasp boen someone other than Sinclair Lewis. A MISUNDERSTANDING The Chicago Tribune approves of the Great Smoky Mountain National Park project. "It provides rugged beauty and those wilderness values so important to a recently urbanized people who need the occasional touch of the primitive as much as they need vitamines in their food ” So far, so good. But then the Tribune show's that it does nob entirely understand the park idea, for it. goes on to say: “If the national Government takes over the 704,000 acres offered in the Great Smokies, as we hope it will, the park can in time be made a source of revenue by scientific forestry and grazing.” A national park is not designed as a source of revenue. It is a national museum, where nature is preserved as it was before the days of civilization. It is for people to look at, and get “those wilderness values.” It is a place where the giants of the forest are allowed to stand until old age takes them. It is a place where w ! ldflowers and games are allowed to propagate undisturbed so that they can replenish the rest of the country, despoiled by man. Grazing privileges are fatal to such a plan. To turn cattle or sheep into a national park would quickly destroy its precious flora. This is a country of tremendous size. There are enough cutover lands to provide forests, and enough abandoned farms to provide grazing lands, without encroaching on the national park areas. THAT REFERENDUM The necessity for a referendum on the matter of prohibition increases with each official action. The latest order of President Coolidge, under which each constable, sheriff and deputy becomes a Federal officer and agent is amazing. It is too wide a departure from the old ideas of this republic to be put into operation without some protest. It means, of course, that eventually, all local government is to be destroyed and that in time every policeman will be a soldier. Just why the President believes that a, constable or sheriff or deputy will be more effective or honest in his work if given a Federal badge is a mystery. But what is certain is that the crooked and dishonest men, and the liquor law furnishes opportunity for them to plunder and blackmail, would be given broader powers and unlimited territory. The crooked local officer, armed with a Federal badge, would have his license to operate anywhere in the United States. It is just possible that the people, if given a chance to vote, would indicate that they are tired of the law which makes hypocrisy a virtue, which depends upon snoopers and spies for its enforcement and which is so generally broken as to invite disrespect for all law. If the majority want the present law enforced and indicate that wish at*the polls, even though pri vatcly they may show a different attitude through their own violations of it, the law must be enforced even if it takes the army to do itBut every recent incident which gu'es any clew to what people are thinking about indicates a desire for some change. It is not a demand for the old saloon nor is it o demand for liquor, so much as it is a hope that the present corruption of government, disrespect for law, the degradation of boys and girls through hip flasks be replaced by some law which people will obey and respect. The first case in Indiana of an arrest under which a private citizen informed on a man who offered him a drink is yet to be filed—and theoretically it is the duty of every citizen to make such a complaint. Now comes the drastic thing of making a Fed eral agent of every constable, the foundation of a cheka. Perhaps the people want that, too. They may wish to throw away the bill of rights. 'fliey r may not rebel against any change of government that may be necessary to enforce prohibition, even to the bankruptcy of the Government. It is time for the people to vote on this matter, to give sanction for complete enforcement or to demand a change of systems. A referendum should be welcomed by the dry forces as proof of their position. The wets would he forever silenced if the claims of the Anti-Saloon League are even 10 per cent correct. WE TALK TOO MUCH ~~”” By Mrs. Walter Ferguson —— Some bright person has hit upon the idea of starting a national high school debating club. The loving cup factories are speeding up. Nobody would put a stumbling block in the path of ambitious youth or discourage students in any worthy effort, but might it be out of place to suggest that too much speech is what is no|tv the matter with America? Our political life is just one long, flowing debate. The chief reason why we never seem to get much done is because the champions of the people’s rights want to take everything out in talking instead of work. Time was when orators were few and far between. That was before everybody acquired a superiority complex and labored under the delusion that they had a message. Now the country is flooded with orators, until we are likely to have to put a closed season on speeches. It is estimated that America loses something like nine million dollars every year on talk: not the stuff that women enjoy over the*back yard fence, but the kind that gets into the Congressional Record. Now if we start to figure out the expense of excessive talking in State legislatures and county court houses, we should have a staggering total. It is a terrible thing to turn loose each year upon the defenseless proletariat this beVy of talkers. They can get anywhere with a good line of gab. They talk themselves into the debating club, then into the county commissioners' office, then into tho Legislature, and on to Congress. They are impervious to criticism, callous to insults, oblivious to their inability, and ignorant of the needs of government. The only thing they want to do is talk, and in : most instances the only thing they ever do is talk. It would be a fine thing if these debating clubs would manufacture one real statesman for us, but heaven help us if they turn loose many more orators.

THE INDIANAPOLIS TIMES

Comediaps Do Their Stuff on Screen While the Villains Shoot ’Em Dead

By Walter D. Hickman Meet him again—W. C. Fields, a fun-maker who has his own way in comedy lane. The week’s screen offerings are a mixture of comedy and melodrama with villains and even the heroes shooting ’em dead. Fields had established himself on the stage as a sure comedian before he was tempted to do his stuff before the eye of the camera. In the “Follies” he used

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some sure Are material, such as the scene on the back porch, the family automobile and the picnic. You will notice when you see Fields at the Ohio this week in "It Is the Old Army Game" that he has used *Vj basic ideas of these stage i.its in this movie. Fields is as much an individual comedian as Charlie Chaplin. He has many mannerisms

W. U. Fields

which are individual, lie develops his own brand of fun in his own way. He is vastly different both in method and in makeup from any other comedian on the screen. He made people sit up and take notice in “Sally of the Sawdust” and he caused ’em to demand more when they saw him in “That Royle Girl.” Now in his third movie, “It’s the Old Army Game” he is a movie star, not a supporting artist. The antics of Fields as a small town druggist trying to get a lew, hours sleep on his back porch is to my way of thinking, the funniest episode In this movie. The milkman, an engine, the newsboy, the ice man and, ,1 crying baby all prevent tills honest and hard working druggist from getting any sleep. The trick automobile and the family ptebic with the crying and yelling youngster are well known to those who have seen Fields on the stage. Both are to be found in “It’s the Old Army Game.” The remainder of the cast hasn’t much to do as Fields is the whole works. I probably should mention Louise Brooks, because of her striking looks and Blanche Ring. There is enough "drammer” mixed up in this comedy to give the comedy stunts a chance to stand out. Eddie Sutherland, who directed the famous “Behind the Front,” put Fields through his paces in ‘‘lt’s the Old Army Game.” Regardless of what Charlie Chaplain turns out this season in comedies, it is my firm belief that \V. C. Fields and Harold Lloyd will he the leaders of the comedy field when this year’s history of the screen is written. Fields has come to stay ns he is the most original comedian just now before the public. To rfiy way of thinking, “It’s the Old Army Game” Is so original In comedy scenes with the services of Fields that it has the right to be called that “so different comedy." For a good laugh caused by a splendid reason then see Fields in “It’s the Old Army Game.” Bill includes the Patricia Trio, organ music and Charley Chase in “Mum’s the Word,” at the Ohio all week. .[. .{. .}. THE GOOD OI.I) DAYS RETURN TO THE SCREEN When a fellow sees about three hundred movies a year as I do and probably then some, he gets the desire to see those good old days of mystery and melodrama return. The days when the villain as well as the hero shot ’em.dead. That was a good old formula years back, and it Is still good today if

the right cast is selected to put over the thrfclls. I believe that we are swinging back to dramatic melodrama on the screen. I may be wrong, but we have two examples of this tendency in tows this week. At the Colonial you will see nn excellent example of this good old days tendency under the title of "W hlsper ing Smith.” Right off the bat you are

H. B. Warner

introduced to a train wreck, another one and then the burning of a wreck. Then the villains begin to assemble and the big fight as well as the man hunt is on. To put over melodrama in the modern taste a definite dramatic cast is needed. Such a cast is present in "Whispering Smith” as you will meet If. R. Warner, one of the most polished of stage stars; Lillian Rich, John Rowers and Robert Edeson, a splendid actor. This cast is capable of taking melodrama with its thrills and putting it over with a bang. And that is just what they do at the Colonial this week. Melodrama to be effective upon the screen must be logical. I mean by that that the situations must fit into the story. There must be a reason for every train wreck, every shooting and every fight. There is a reason for all the thrills and the melodrama in "Whispering Smith.” And it has another advantage in the way that Warner develops the character of Smith. Warner is an “eye" actor. You must see his eyes and the director has been wise in allowing Warner's eyes do the acting. The stage lost a real person-

Movie Verdict CIRCLE—Johnny Hines in “Rainbow Riley” has has funniest and best vehicle of his career. APOLLO—Lot of Zane Grey thrills are found In “Desert Gold.” COLONTA L —The good old melodrama days of real thrills are found in "Whispering Smith." Good theater. OHlO—Enough to say that W. C. Fields is appearing in “It's the Old Army Game.” A complete comedy knockout.

ality when Warner went into the movies, but the screen won an actor, who may be depended upon to give real characterizations. There are some magnificent outdoor shots in this movie, not the studio bluff sort, but the real article. The lighting used in the night train wreck has been handled with great effect. If you are longing for rugged thrills, real he-man fightin' and some b' melodramatic scenes, then you a,e headed In the right direction v hen you start to see "Whispering Smith.” It is effective entertaini lerit, just that and nothing more and that Is something these days. Bill includes the American Harmon.sts; Arthur Lake in “Separated Sweethearts; a news reel and Aesop Fables. At the Colonial all week. ZANE GREY AGAIN PAINTS ins OWN WILD WEST There are probably only three authors whose movies are sold to the general public on the namq of the author alone. Zane Grey is one of the three. The mere mention that it is a Zane Grey story Is enough to arouse interest. Such is tho fact at the Apollo this week, where “Desert Gold” is being presented. It is a

typical Grey does a mighty job of always weaving a love romance around a big tragedy and then shades it off with a mel o and r amatic You to meet i rich mans son, who is a rotter in New York. He goes to see if he is a man to be trusted. When he faces rtfle

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Neil Hamilton

shots and possible death in a desert and then on top of all of that ha falls In love with the gir! he saved from the villains. He plays square and is willing to give her up, but the other fellow is regular too. He figures if she loves me not and loves him a whoflf lot, then he should have her. So we have two heroes this week in “Desert Gold.” The big scene from a melodramatic standpoint is when a landslide is used to kill off all the villains at one stroke. It looks like the article, but yet these directors are so clever these days with their trick photography. Anyway, Tam sure that this landslide will give every one a real thrill. Good theater. lou will have no reason to find lault with the cast ns among those present are Neil Hamilton. Shirley Mason. William Powell anrl Robert Frazer. They know what to do and when to do it to give you a thrill. The photography Is excellent. Picture well directed and acted. Bill includes organ music by Lester Huff, music by Emil Seidel and bis orchestra, "Lickety Split” and Kinograms. At the Apollo atl week.

Junior C. of C. to Install Officers

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New officers of the Junior Chamber of Commerce:. (Left to Right) William Henry Harrison, Martin L. man us, Albert L Rust, Oscar V< gt, Paul Merchant and Paul V. Allen.

New officers of the Indianapolis Junior Chamber of Commerce will be Installed July 12. it was announced today by Harmon Snoke, executive secretary. The installation will be at a dinner-dance at Page's chicken dinner resort, east of the city. William Henry Harrison, new president, said plans are under consideration to make the activities of the organization even more attractive than in the past.

Virginia Welcomes Coolidge

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New England had a taste of Southern hospitality when President Coolidge visited the sesqui-centennial celebration at Williamsburg, Va. Photo shows him being greeted by Gov. Harry F. Byrd, a brother of the Lieut.Com. Richard E. Byrd, who recently tlew to the North Pole. V irguna beat the Philadelphia! declaration otbujupwidwu^

MEETING JOHNNY HINES FACE TO FACE THIS WEEK Don’t know whether you have the same idea or not, but generally I fear these personal appearances of movie actors. I have, suffered like hundreds of others and when I suffer I have the habit of tellin’ the world. And I didn’t suffer yesterday, and I allow that all the others present didn’t either when Johnny Hines walked out on the stage of the Circle. He didn't come out with the sound of trumpets. He just walked out, spiked enough of that Pollyannr stuff to get acquainted, told a few stories with real laughs to ’em; then did a Charleston which so got the fancy of all present that he decided to do a tap dance. The orchestra didn’t expect this, but all came through in fine shape. And here is the secret of the success of Hines on the stage in a personal appearance. He doesn’t attempt to act funny. He is just his natural self with a good lot of stories which he tells well. Nobody has written him a personal appearance act. He is too good a showman for that. He does his acting on the screen, not when he is making personal appearance. Maybe T will shock you when I tell you that if the others would follow Hines' method of personal appearances the eexperlment would be much happier. Now for his picture. "Rainbow Riley.” The material, as well as Hines' method of developing his comedy scenes, is vastly superior in "Rainbow Riley” than in “The Speed Spook” and “The Live Wire.” It seems to mer'that the success of Hines on the screen will rely upon his ability to do a lot of things well. I believe after seeing two of his other attempts at comedy that he realizes that in “Rainbow Riley” he has enough Individual things to do which call for real talents as well as practice. Ills pool shootin’ scene will make all the sharks sit up and take notice. The action starts in a newspaper office; moves to a city jail and then takes to the feud district of Kentucky where Hines has a corking chance to register with his stunt stuff. The Kentucky feud types have been selected with wisdom. The ending is a comedy crash and gives the story Individuality. Comedians do not grow on trees. Their talents must grow. It has always seemed to me to be a bigger and a more artistic job to make people honestly laugh than to cry. Hines Is growing in a comedy line. No doubt about that. The bill includes an overture with Bakaleinikoff directing the orchestra “Falling Water Valley,” “Going Crazy,” and Dossa Byrd at the organ and other events. At the Circle all week. .!. I I •I' *|* T Other theaters today offer: "Partners Again,” at English’s: "They Knew What They Wanted.” at Kokh's; Mercedes, at the Lyric: the Westerners, at tho Palace, and .Tack Hoxie. in “Looking for Trouble,” at the Isis.

Each director will be assigned to some branch of work and will supervise the chairman named from the general membership, he said. Six men will represent Indianapolis at the national convention at Jacksonville, Fla., June 23 to 26. Harrison has been named delegate and Gus Schrader, national councillor. Oscar Vogt, editor of the Jacian, will attend the convention to get data on enlargening the local publication.

She’s Ready for Pole Trip

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Miss Celeste J. Miller, 80, of Chicago, reaches New York on her 31st trip around tho world, and announces she’s ready to go to the North Pole if anyone will take her. “I’ve seen everything else,” she admits, adding she’s been too busy traveling 900,000 miles to accept any of the 1,000 proposals of marriage made to her. For tourists she advises: “Speak English and carry American money—that will take you anywhere.” SHOULD SERVE LIVING American Legion Auxiliary Head Issues Memorial Day Message. “Let us remember the dead by serving the living; then let us place our wreaths,” is the memorial sentiment expressed today by Mrs. Eliza London Shepard, national president of the American Legion Auxiliary, is the president's annual Memorial Day message to the quarter of a million women in the organization. The message read in part, as follows : “With the coming of new leaves, Memorial day comes once more. That sacred day when we pause to give reverent thought to lives that are gone. Auxiliary women, mothers of men who died, wives, sisters, daughters, do we need be reminded to remember? I think not. Every day is memorial day to us. We must keep it so by serving the beloved living of those no longer here.” STABS FRIEND TO DEATH IP/ T'nilri! Prmo SOUTH BEND. Tnd.. May 24.—A murder charge was pending today against Mike Pop. who hurled a stiletto in the neck of his friend. Paul Szuch. 26, in a drunken brawl. Szuch bled to death in three minutes.

Harrison said early plans will be made for assisting in the Community Fund drive next fall. The organization will take an active part in the promotion of the United States naval reserve, camp at Riverside Park. The camp opens June 20. Other new officers are: Martin L. McManus, Albert L. Rust and Oscar Vogt, vice presidents; Paul Merchant, Dr. Paul V. Allen and Webster Smith, directors. DANCE TO BE TUESDAY Affair at Broad Ripple Will Be Given by Lucky Won Club. The Lucky Won Club will give a dance Tuesday at the Broad Ripple dance hall. The committee in charge is: Misses Marie Flynn, Martha Sehwankaus, Bernadette Murphy, Mary Lowe, Margaret Sullivan, Thelma Cox, Marguerite Meehan and Mary Barrett. ABSENT VOTING SLAMMED Ryan Plans to Ask G. O. P. to Pledge Repeal of Law. Bu United J'rats ANDERSON, Ind., May 24.—Oswald Ryan, defeated candidate for the Republican short-term senatorial nomination, today prepared to go before the State convention Thursday to war on thfe absent voters' ballot. Ryan will ask the convention to pledge the party to repeat of the absent voters’ law to “maintain the purity of the ballot.” Abuse of the privilege of casting an absent voters’ ballot is a menace to representative government in Indiana, Ryan declared. G. A. R. POST AT SERVICES Members of the George H. Thom as Post of the Grand Army of the Republic, accompanied by the Woman's Relief Corps, attended memorial services Sunday morning at the Broadway M. E. Church. Service* were conducted by Dr. John W. Me- ■ Fall. Axmufilcal .program was given#

MAY 24, 1926

Questions and Answers

You can get an answer to any question of laot or Information by writing to The Indianapolis Times Washington Bureau, 1322 New York Ave.. Washington. I) C.. inclosing 2 cents in stamps for reply. Medical, legal and marital advice cannot be given nor can extended research be undertaken. All other questions will receive a personal reply. Unsigned requests cannot be answered. All letters are confidential.—Editor. I see references to tho Great Dipper as “Charles’ Wain?” YVhy is it so called? Tho Great Dipper has boen called a “wain” or a “wagon” since tho time of Homer at least. In England it was formerly called Arthur’s Wain, apparently on account of tha similarity between “Arthur” and the name of the adjacent bright star “Arcturus;” and then came to ba called Charles’ Wain, that is, Charlemagno’s, according to tho new English Dictionary, on account of tha association in men's minds of the two great heroes of romance, Arthur and Charlemagne. “Charles’ Wain” or simply “the Wain” is tha usual English name for these outside of America. How can aniline dyes bo used h\ treating disease? It is found that aniline dyes, even highly diluted, have in many cases the power to stop growth of bacteria. Chemicals and certain aniline dyes have been successfully injected into the veins to combat infectlons of the joints, abscesses, boils and erysipelas. Who were the "Night Riders?” Bands of masked and armed men who have operated at night at intervals since 1907 and have terrorized certain sections of the southeast and southwest regions of the United States. Their object has been to reduce tho production of tohacco and cotton by destruction of growing crops and to dictate the disposal of those commodities. They are mostly small farmers and tenants who have q. sort of military organization, with spy and information systems and a code of signals, grips, passwords and countersigns. The maximum number is supposed to be between 9,000 and 10,000. They first appeared in Kentucky and Tennessee and have operated also in sections of Arkansas, Georgia, Ohio, Indiana, and Louisiana. The last outbreak o£ any consequence was in 1909-1910. Is the name Lovani, Italian, French or Russian? Italian. Who composed the “Council of Four” or the “Big Four” who clominated the peace conference at Paris. Woodrow Wilson, President of tho United States; Georges Clemenceau, premier of France; Lloyd George, premier of Great Britain, and Vittorio Orlando, premier of Italy.

THE VERY IDEA! " By Hal Cochran —”

GROWER IP Gee, but sonny’s tickler.' pink, Every day ho says. "Just think. I feel growed—ya know what for? I'm no baby any more. Only three, but, heaven sakes, what a change it always makes when ya seem growed up, somehow. Gotta baby sister now. “’Course all things aren't as they were. Gotta keep my eye on her, ( Mom and pop don’t seem so free. Sorta overlookin’ me. Still, I'm willin’ fer a while just to bear It all, an smile; keepin’ quiet as a mouse, fer the baby in ‘our house. “Not so long ago, dad said, 'coma ta me, ya sleepy head. Cuddle close and don’tcha peep. Dad’ll rock ya off ta sleep.’ Sure, 'twas nice, bufi I don’t mind—shucks, I’ve nevereven whined, since the rockin'* stopped. Aw, gee, that’s fer babied —not fer me. “All the pettln' goes to sis. Now and then I get a kiss, but the baby'* •daddy’s dear’— Gee. at that, it.’* kinda Queer. All the growth, and . such, I've got may he nice—and 4 maybe not. Kinda wish that thing* could be, so I was her—and she wa.* me.’’ • • * Man’s business shows where he stands, and his golf shows where he lies. * • * The cost of marriage is whatever* you pay the preacher, plus your’* week's salary ever after. •• * * When a butcher starts giving short measure, It's time for him to mend his weighs. * * * He sat and fished the live-long day^ For perch or bass or trout. But didn’t catch a bloomin’ thing Till tvifey found it out. • * • MOTHER—Why, Tommy! Tod had five problems in school today and only got one of them right. Ho-,y did that happen? TOMMY— r copied that one from the kid who sits next ta me. * * • Any time a housewife kinda feel* that shed like to have someone drop in, all she’s got to do Is put on tho oldest dress shit’s got, and let the housework go. < * • It s a shame the chickens next door can’t talk. They could always tell a fella what kind of seeds ho planted in this, that or the other garden. ** * A FABLES IN FACT A FELLA MOVED INTO THE COUNTRY AND DECIDED TO KEEP JUST ONE CATTLE PERIOD SO HE ASKED ANOTHER RURAL GENT ABOUT IT AND THE FRIEND TOLD HIM TO BUY THE CATTLE FROM SO-AND-SO PERIOD WELL COMMA THE ADVICE WAS FOLLOWED AND EVERYTHING WENT WELL FOR ABOUT A WEEK PERIOD THEN THE LONE CATTLE DIED PERIOD WHICH ONLY GOES TO PROVE THAT HE GOT A COUPLE OF BUM STEERS. 4GcawrigHt. 1026* JEap*