Indianapolis Times, Volume 37, Number 271, Indianapolis, Marion County, 15 March 1926 — Page 4

PAGE 4

The Indianapolis Times ROT W. HOWARD, President. BOTD GURLEY, Editor. WM. A. MAYBORN, Bus. Mgr. Member of th Serlpps-Howard Newspaper Alliance • • • Client of the United Press and the NEA Service • • • Member of the Audit Bureau of Circulations. Published dally except Sunday by Indianapolis Times Publishing Cos., 214-220 W. Maryland St., Indianapolis • • * Subscription Rates; Indianapolis—Ten Cents a Week. Elsewhere —Twelve Cents a Week * PHONE—MA in 3500.

No law shall be passed restraining the free interchange of thought and opinion, or restricting the right to speak, write, or print freely, on any subject whatever.—Constitution of Indiana.

A Message From Robert P. Scripps

The readers of the Scripps-Howard newspapers should know that through the foresight of E. W. Scrlpps no change In the policies, management or even ownership of these newspapers is occasioned fay his death. E. W. Scrlpps retired from the editorial direction and management of these newspapers and other journalistic enterprise in 1920, delegating full authority to myself and Roy W. Howard. In 1922 he caused all of his newspaper and other stocks to be incorporated In the E. W. Scrlpps Company, an Ohio corporation. In the same year he executed an agreement by which I, as trustee, became the owner of all of his stocks In the latter company and whereby I assumed full responsibility for the conduct of all of the newspaper and other properties which he controlled. It was a fundamental ideal with my father that a man of advanced years should not attempt to discharge personally all of his public and private duties right up to the day of his death, but that he should organize for the future. This concern and these newspapers have lost not their active head but their founder and a source of greatest inspiration. I personally have lost not only my father, but the friendship and guidance of the finest gentleman and most devoted public servant it has ever been my privilege to know. We will all, however, continue, as in the past, to aim at the high marks which he set. ROBERT P. SCRIPPS. San Diego, Cal., March 14, 1926. A Tribute by George B. Parker That there was room in America for newspapers which represented their readers; which represented no party, or club, or block—no special interest whatsoever. Such was the philosophy on which E. W. Scrlpps less than half a century ago founded the largest group of newspapers the world has ever seen. The philosophy was novel at the time. Before that day back in the seventies there were newspapers a plenty. But the newspaper which didn’t frankly serve some interest or other, political or commercial, was so rare as to be neglible. The journalism of that day was the journalism of the party organ. To wear a label, to belong to a clique was "the thing” in newspaper making then. The greatest of the dailies were either Republican or Democratic. And those that didn't specialize in politics spoke for the organized commercial interests of their day. The "five per cent” of the newspaper reading public were an ply represented; the “ninety-five per cent” had no medium of expression. To be the friend in court of those who had no other spokesman—to know news and to print it, uninfluenced by those who wanted something put in or something kept out. To comfort the afflicted, on the theory that the comfortable could take care of themselves, but to deny hearing to none. To be independent and good humoredly to stand the punishment that true journalistic independence brings from time to time. Those were the tools that E. W. Scrlpps took to his job forty-seven years ago, along with a little money, and unlimited capacity to Inspire men. The beginning was humble, as have been the beginnings of most things in America that have grown great. E. W. Scrlpps is dead. But the thought of an independent journalism, the thought with which he pioneered, will live on In the organization he founded and in the journals of America.

E. W. Scripps By Robert F. Paine, Editor Emeritus of the Cleveland Press. Some wealthy men found worthy research Institutes, some endow institutions of learning and some give great sums to charity funds. None of these methods of placing helpful money appealed to E. W. Scripps, great newspaper publisher who has just passed on. He did not believe that the world owes every man a living. He did believe that the world owes every man an opportunity to progress, to secure a living which should mean vocational success, domestic happiness and good citizenship. So it was his vision to make money so serve that there should be enduring monuments to his career in human lives. He founded or purchased nearly three dozen of the present day daily newspapers, besides other news institutions, and he piled one million upon another which he did not need, always in his heart the purpose to create opportunity. In many instances, he made- young reporters, compositors, pressmen and business department cubs, his partners, as stockholders. He said: “Young men I put up the money and give you your chance, keep to my policies. Fix your own salaries and pay for your stock from your earnings and savlngs.” He made his money create opportunity and because of it, all over this country are men, young and old, happy in their homes and successful in business and public life. E. W. Scripps had his own way for making money serve man. Distinguished he was, with great wealth, great intellect and great professional accomplishments. Greatest above all else was he in making Mammon plant, irrigate and cultivate opportunity that there would surely be fruits of human where, else, there would be desert

A Maker of History Few men would have dared to make that challenge to posterity which Edward W. Scripps, dying aboard his yacht off the coast of Africa, embodied in his order that his body be consigned to the waves. Only a man who had built for the ages—or one who had done so little that wasted years rebuked him —would have the courage to forego the customary marble shaft as an appeal to remembrance by those to come. Most men pitifully seek In their final hour for some material grasp upon the world they are about to leave, some indestructible monument to their memory, some permanent link with life. Only men who have helped to make history and have succeeded can afford to dispense with these ordinary customs and methods. Edward Wyllis Scrlpps was one of the giants of journalism, the last of a generation of great men who gave direction to the greatest force In our civilization. It may be said in all truth that no other man left so great an impress upon the profession he embraced as did Mr. Scripps. His genius as a publisher led him to establish papers from coast to coast. But that was not his triumph and no measure of his greatness. It was he who made independent journalism possible and made it necessary for all newspapers, which hope to retain an Influence, to cast aside secret shackles, partisan prejudices, biased policies. He was the pioneer into the field of truth at a time when newspapers often distorted and suppressed. He was the first publisher to grasp the great truth that the Nation is greater than political parties, that the welfare of the people is above the prosperity of the few. He was the first to put into the printed page of the daily newspaper the firm faith that the people are able to rule themselves, and that to govern with success, they must possess the facts, not be led by fervid appeals to their prejudices. When as a youth, he started his first newspaper in Cleveland, he dedicated It to the man who had no other voice for his opinions. Other newspapers proudly labeled themselves as the organs of political parties. To them the one purpose was the grip of public office for their parties. Their readers expected these partisan papers to distort or suppress the truth, if that truth hurt the chances or struck at the hopes of the politicians they served. His success made him, in fact, the editor of his competitor papers. For the people indicated by their support that they desired truth and welcomed it. The party organ has almost disappeared. The few newspapers which still blindly proclaim their servitude to political organizations become each year a smaller group and of even less importance. The growing power of the people over their own affairs, the increase of independent thought and independent voting, the triumph of popular government owes much to this man. Three generations of grateful people pay unconscious tribute to his memory as they rejoice in greater liberty. For he dedicated his life and his papers to the cause of liberty and real freedom. Did tyranny attempt to suppress free speech in any part of this land, his voice was raised in protest. Whenever and wherever prejudice and oppression showed their menacing heads, he gave challenge and battle. Whatever effort was made to raise the standard of living, of education, of happier childhood had his support and the encouragement of his columns. He needs no monument to perpetuate his name. His is built into the daily liveß of his fellow citizens and in the institutions which make for liberty and freedom. The man passes, but things he wrought remain. The causes which he championed and for which he fought live again and again, as new generations seize the torch he held so valiantly throughout his active years. The man who made so great a contribution to the history of the land he loved, whose impress upon his times was so deep, might well smile ash peered through the mystic portals to anew field and repeat with the psalmist, “Oh death, where is thy sting? Oh grave, where is thy victory?”

D. C. Stephenson Has Had No ‘ Vacation'

Ton can sret an answer to any question of fart or information by writing to The Indianapolis Times Washington Bureau. 1322 New York Ave.. Washington. D. C.. inclosing 2 cents in stamps for reply. Medical, legal and marital advice cannot be given nor ran extended research be undertaken. All other questions will receive a personal reply. Unsigned requests cannot be answered. All letters are confidential.—Editor. Has D. €. Stephenson been out of prison two weeks? A READER. Indiana State prison authorities say Stephenson has been out of prison only when he was taken to Noblesville for the ruling on his motion for retrial. How many cities of more than a million population has Russia? There are only two; Leningrad, the former capital, has a population of 1,690,000, and Moscow, the present capital, has a population of 1,400,000. Why is the name “Wah-hoo” applied to Indian arrow-wood? The name was taken from a word of the Dakota Indians, “Wa(n)hu,” which means arrow wood. The usa made of the wood of this bush gave rise to the name. Are the earnings of farmers Increasing or decreasing? According to figures of the Department of Agriculture showung the net income of the farmers of the United States for the last few years, the amount for the years 1923-1924 was slightly in excess of the amount in 1920-1921. In 1920-1921 the total net Income from farms was $4,773,000,000 and in 1923-1924 the total net inccme was $4,887,000,000. How long lias coal gas as an illumlnant been known and used? The existence of inflammable gases issuing from the earth has been known from very early times. It was not until 1792, however, that the practical value of coal gas as an illumlnant was demonstrated by William Murdock, a Scotchman, who constructed an apparatus by which he lighted his homo and office in Redruth, Cornwall. In 1798 he introduced the illuminant in the Soho foundry.

THK INDIANAPOLIS TIMES

The Grand Old Slap-Stick Days Return to Screen With an Old Charlie Chaplin

By Walter D. Hickman —l LESSEE* be the good old slapstick comedy days of Charlie u— Chaplin when he was content to be just Charlie and not Mister Chaplin. I for one welcome an opportunity to see the old comedies of Charlie Chaplin and I was more than ready yesterday to visit the Ohio because Chaplin’s very old

one, “A Dog’s Life,” was Included on the bill. Here you see again the old rough and tumble Chaplin with his funny trousers and his queer shoes. In fact I believe that this is the real Chaplin the great big artist. Chaplin is a comedian of slapstick life and he lifts such characterizations to the

peak of high art- Eugene O'Brien istry. In “Dog's Life,” Chaplin has the services of many dogs, but a white terrier is the big aid to the comedian. I have always "passed out" when Chaplin takes the dog’s tall, sticks It into a nearly empty pint milk bottle and then invites the dog to lick the milk off the dog's tall. Not highbrow comedy but the slap-stick stuff which has made Chaplin a great artist. Why not bring the old Chaplin back today in some of the old stuff dono In the old way, but in the Increased artistry and understanding that he has today? Anyway you will have a great and Jolly time seeing the old Charlie Chaplin In "A Dog’s Life." The announced feature on the bill is “Souls for Sables," with Eugene O’Brien and Claire Windsor. It certainly was made to advertise the fur coat business. As entertainment, I see no chance for this picture. The story probably was supposed to be serious, but I caught myself laughing out loud every time a married woman In the story got expensive sable coats from a rich guy when their husbands were out trying to be honest men and make a living. And one of these honest men (a husband who works honestly every day) was awarded by the playwright by having a chance to murder his wife and then kill himself. And the only punishment that the guy who gave the married women nice, expensive sable coats was a trip alone on a boat to Europe. This happens because a married woman took a change of heart and returned to her own husband Just before the boat sailed. The photography Is not up to standard and the direction Is often faulty. “Souls for Sables” is less than a fair picture. Bill includes a little burlesque song. “What No Wlmmin’?” and some hot music by Charlie Davis and his orchestra. At the Ohio all week. • • • THE COHENS FIGHT AND SO DO THE KELLYS “The “highbrows” who did not like “Abie’s' Irish Rose” upon the stage will have the same verdict against “The Cohens and the Kellys,” a movie. “The Cohens and the Kellys" Is lost plain every day hokum, all

dolled up with the necessary family • fights, love affairs j sudden wealth and I about everythin;' I that goes to moke ] u p “h oltu m" I theater. I went on j record liklngl “Able” and I do I the same thing re- I gar din g “Thp I Cohens and the I Kellys.” Thel Cohen part at the I cast Is In the I hands of George I Sidney arid Vera I Gordon, and the Kelly—lrish part of the cast is upheld by Charles

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Charles Murray

Murray and Kate Price. Murray is a fine comic. He knows how to register with his eyes. He can over act but he keeps well within his character in this photoplay. George Sidney, on the other hand, is over acting most of the time and yet it takes this barnstorming way of Sidney to get the laughs. Murray and Sidney use ml the old stage gags, such as sitting upon Kellys’ hat and the quarrels at the dinner table.

And yet I am nos holding this overacting impulse of Sidney against the actor, because the role Is In script overacted from the start. The most natural work In the whole picture Is done by Kate Price. I have a weakness for this fine character woman. She always looks reAl and she knows how to “plant" the laughs. “The Cohens and the Kellys” Is a fight film. The two families are fighting all the time, and It is not until the young Kelly marries the daughter of the Cohens that a treaty of peace is signed. And not, then, until the firstborn arrives. There is a buhch—in fact, hundreds—of real laughs in this film. It is good theater, and I am for good theater when It is loaded with laughs. Not highbrow laughs, but the two-fisted everyday stuff that gets across. Vera Gordon as a Jewish mother has another good opportunity to register. She has a lot of funny stage business with Sidney. “The Cohens and the Kellys is mighty good fun. It was made to make people laugh who buy tickets as well as to please the owner of the theater that, plays the picture. It. is sure “theater” and sure box office. Personally, I cannot see that this film has any relation to “Abie's Irish Rose,” because this JewishIrish family fight idea has been on the stage for years, years and years before "Abie” arrived. If you want a real, honest, everyday laugh, then see “The Cohens and the Kellys.” Bill Includes Charles Duffy in "The Phoney Express,” an Aesop Fable, a news reel and much music, the Colonial all week.

Screen Verdict CIRCLE!—It Is difficult to bring the smart wit of Michael Arlen from the printed page to the sex-een. This is noticed In a movie version of "The Dancer of Paris.” OHIO—You have a chance to see the real Charlie Chaplin in “A Dog’s Life,” a reissue of a past success. APOLLO—Tom Meighen glorifies Florida in "The New Klon dike.” COLONIAL Good human hokum, the stuff that makes the world a happier place to live in, is found In "The Cohens and the Kellys.”

THERE IS LOT OF FLORIDA IN THIS MOVIE Big league baseball and real estate In ETorida are the two magic things that furnish the intrigue and Interest In "The New Klondike," Tom, Meighan’s latest picture, on view at the Apollo. Tom very nearly loses hs grip on the picture as it progresses. A

young chap whose face is rather now on the screen Paul Kelly is his name—with a personality as fresh and Inspiring as his delightful Interpretation of the small town youth about to enter the "big time,” steps into the frame, and during the whole of the stofy is constantly bringing himself forward in a way that cannot help but give him a fol-

Tom Meiglian

lowing^ AVonderful shots of Florida arc given in the picture. The rise of this State from a very ugly swamp in spots to a veritable paradise by the labor of man Is graphically told by the camera. An airplane vlc-w of a group of islands that has been made entirely by man Is beautiful. With the ocean floor as a foundation, these Islands have been built with coral and sand and are now a monumental example the tireless energy and effort that 1b being expended In all parts cf the State. The plot of the story is not very heavy, being the real estate adventures of a ball club supposed to be in training and who get the "bug” with all its worst symptoms. Lila Lee plays opposite Mr. Melghan, and Is, of course, her dainty and charming little self. Hattie Man ning as the maid of Miss Lee furnishes some fun an the temperamental sweetheart of "Bing’’ Kelly, played by Paul Allen. For those who are interested many tricks of the "shady" side of the real estate profession are exposed. Am not saying they are all true, to life, but they are logical and Interesting. For example is the character known as the "bird dog," whose business it Is to be on the watch for newly arrived people in this land of real estate. Usually a woman, she steers them into the

A Sermon for Today By Rev John R. Gunn A 'SQUARE DEAL' FOR THE CHURCH

Text: “Now concerning tho collection."—! for. 16:1. What collection? The collection for the church. To fulfill its great mission in the world the church must have adequate financial support. That, you say, Is a matter for church members to look after. You are not a member, and you do not consider that you have any obligation In the matter. But wait a moment. Think of what a benefit the church has been to you, to your home, and to your family. There are many ways in which It has contributed to your well-being and to the welfare of your household. To render such service Involves expense which must be met

YOUR INCOME TAX No. 12 tinder the Revenue Act of 1926, thousands of persons are required to file returns of income although the incomes are not taxable. The Act provides that returns shall be filed by every single person whose net Income for 1926 was $1,500 or more or whose gross income was $5,000 or more, and by married couples, living together, whose aggregate net Income was $3,500 or more, or whose aggregate gross Income was $5,000 or more. The exemptions are $1,500 for single persons and $3,500 for married persons living together, plus a S4OO credit for each dependent. A person may have a gross income of $5,000 and, by reason of the deductions for business expense, bad debts, losses, etc., a net income of less than $1,600. A single person may have an exemption of $3,500 as the head of a family. Nevertheless, returns are required In both instances. Penalties are provided by the Act for failure to file a return and pay at least one-fourth of the amount of tax due within the time prescribed on or before March 15, 1926. HOME DANGEROUS Pedestrians who fear auto traffic and safety organizations which harp on motor dangers are surprised to learn that it Is more dangerous to live in your house than to be out on the street. More people were accidentally killed In their own residences during the last year than were killed by automobiles. Falls were responsible for a large number of the deaths.

grlp of the agent she is working for and then the would-be purchaser Is fleeced for all that la possible to’ get. Bill Includes Fox News and special features by Emil Seidel and his orchestra. At the Apollo all week. (By the observer.) •I* •!• -ITHE SCREEN ATTEMPTS A MICHAEL ARLEN STORY I have not seen Michael Arlen’s “The Green Hat" on the stage, or his “Those Charming People." In book form, I am acquainted with them and I have rather dreaded meeting his stories on the stage because on the printed page he Is so modemly smart. This week the Circle Is presenting an Arlen story, "The Dancer of Paris." Some of the sub-titles aro very smart and some of the situ-

ations are extremely clever, highbrow fun, I would call it. But the basic thought —the promise of a woman to turn herself Into the most talked of woman in Paris just because an English somebody reveals his true crazy self to her does not ring true on the screen. And yet the "Dancer" Is smart but not too brilliant fun. A regular Arlen situation

* ..Jill

Conway Tearle

is found in a scene where Conway Tearle and Dorothy Mackall are making up after a lover’s quarx-el Tearle as Noel Anson tells Consuelo, played by Miss Mackall, that he apologizes for kissing her the night before because he should have done that very thing a month before. The comedy work of Frances Miller Grant as Mammy Is delicious In this scene. There is a highbrow touch In this picture, but it doesn’t have the big punch which one expects in Arlen’s books. In the cast is Robert Calh as Sir Roy Martel, a man who is "crazy” over women. He seems to want a corner on all women In the world just because he hates to see other men hold women In their arms. As the score stands just now I enjoy Michael Arlen only on the printed page. Have your own Idea. I admit that the picture has been beautifully mounted and Is well dressed and at times slightly undressed, but beautiful clothes do not make a great picture. Bakaleinikoff this week Is directing the Circle orchestra through “The Chocolate Soldier," as an overture. The stage presentation features Gordon Kibbler and his orchestra. Bill Includes a comedy, a news reel and other novelties. At the Circle all week. •I-!• -I* Other theaters todfty offer: "Kosher Kitty Kelly,” a play with music, at English’s, opening tonight: "Twin Beds,” at the Lyric; “Pltter Patter,” at the Palace; Bob and Gayle Sherwood, at Keith’s; burlesque at the Broadway and "With Daniel Boone Through the Wilderness,” at the Isis.

by somebody. How can you accept this service and not feel any obligation to help bear the expense? You say you cannot see that the church has helped you so much. Have you ever thought what your community would be like without a church in it? Have you ever thought what America would be like without a church in It? Imagine every church building In America razed level with the ground, every pulpit hushed, the voice of the preacher no longer heard in the land, the words of Jesus forgotten, no longer any listening to hear what God has to say concerning sin and suffering and sorrow and the higher ways of life. A little thought along this line ought to make every man feel his obligation to support the church with his money. You are sharing In a larger way than "you realize the benefits of the church. If you are not sharing In Its financial support, you are not living up to the principle of the “square deal"—the thing you boast so much about doing. (Copyright, 1926, by John H. Gunn.)

Only Words of Praise Here

By Walter D. Hickman. Really, I do not want to say but just words of praise. This always happens to me after hearing the Fionzaiey quartet. Yesterday this quartet appeared in another recital at the Academy of Music under the direction of the Indianapolis Maennerchor. The composers used on the program consisted of Ravel, Beethoven, Mendelpsohn and “Irish Cradle Song” by Alfred Fochon, second violin, a member of the quartet. Never have T heard a violoncello played as Iwan D'Archambeau played it yesterday. At times it began as gigantic and as wonderfully ’>eautiful in tone as a pipe organ. I went musically “wild’*'' during he quartet of Ravel. I found tantalizing beauty here. Sweet, inviting and smart. In the Beethoven quartet In F Major, Op. 135, I found myself getting into a sort of a mood of the grave only to be pulled out of that mood by the sweet and Innocent melody of Pochon’s “Irish Cradle Song.” Again the Fionzaiey Quartet gave another perfect concert and never were they more wonderfully received and appreciated In this city. After the concert, the Maennerchor made the quartet an honorary member of the Maennerchor. A most wonderful afternoon of music. ‘

RIGHT HERE

IN INDIANA

CAMPAIGN OF PRAYER Churches in three villages near Hammond (Ind.) are engaged In a campaign of prayer to close a score of disreputable roadhouses in the vicinity where nightly booze and revelry hold sway. No appeal to authorities to raid the places will be made, dependence will be placed on the power of prayer. So far, though the prayer compaign has been In progress ten days with an Increasing number of participants, the roadhouses still flourish. Apparently Divine Authority hasn’t been prevailed upon to abate the nuisance. Prayer Is no doubt efficacious In many of the trials and emergencies of life. It is a help and a comfort. However, personal supplications for divine intercession In entirely mundane affairs aren’t notably sueceasful. Not long ago a Gary church caught Are Just before morning services. The congregation gathered before the blazing edifice and knelt in prayer. The flames mounted higher. The blaze was at length subdued by city firemen who were too busy throwing water on tho structure to indulge in prayer. Prayers for rain are customary In a locality visited by a sevore drought. Last summer tho Governor of South Carolina proclaimed a day of Statewide fasting and prayer because of the drought that was burning up that State. There was no immediate response. Eventually the rain came—but It always comes some time. T here was no evidence that prayer either hurried or delayed It. It would seem the Creator doesn’t run His universo to suit the convenience of individual localities. Perhaps communities are expected to clean up their roadhouses and attend to such matters themselves. BANK BANDITS STILL BUSY Two youthful bandits, w-lth false whiskers, smudged faces and portentous guns, held up the bank at W illow Branch, Hancock County, tho other afternoon and escaped with $1,700. During the performance the bank's burglar alarm pealed lustily but the burghers didn’t rush to the defenso of the town's financial institution. That’s the second considerable bank robbery In the vicinity of Indianapolis In recent weeks—tne bank at Southport losing fI.OOO from a bandit visitation not long ago. For many months Indiana bankers have busied themsoives perfecting defensive measures against bank robbers. Burglar alarms and poison gas devices have been Installed. And volunteer, armed vigilance committees—presumed to go Into action whenever a bank bandit appears on the horizon—have been organized. Still the bank bandits keep offensively and successfully busy. Protective devices and organized vigilantes may handicap them but don’t end their depredations. The system of vigilance committees was expected to prove especially efficacious. But It has not proved a complete panacea. The system Is not in force in Hancock County yet so it can not be blamed for the Willow Branch robbery. But the bank at Southport, In Marion County where bankers are fully organized, was robbed as easily as vhe Hancock County Institution. We have tried about everything on bank robbers except puttlig salt on their tails—and sentencing them promptly*to maximum terms In prison and keeping them there. Why not try that?

THE VERY IDEA By Ilal Cochran ■ ■—

LET ’ER COME Bring on the summer that’s achin’ ta come. Bring on the season when spirit's ahum. Sidetrack the winter , that's been here so long, nn’ freo all ■ the birds so they’ll burst into song. Ail of us long for the session that’s near. AU of us wish for the best time of year. We can put fresh air and sunshine to use. All that we need is the chance. Turn us loose. ’Magine an auto atotln’ a load, blazin’ the trail down an old country road. Think o’ the feeling that's shy of all care, out In the open abreuthln’ fresh air. Winter’s all right, but a wee bit too gruff. Come on, warm weather, start struttin’ your stuff. Fill us with pepper and make us all laugh. That’s what wo want—and you ain't heard the half. Yea, from the grownup, to wee little child, everyone's cravin’ to start runnin’ wild Whadda we care where yer bringin’ It from—bring on the summer that’s achin’ ta come. \• * * Clevelander bought n diamond which turned out to be paste. She’s stuck for $350. • • • •* A wee little girls sings, “I •• •• know something I won’t •• *• tell.” But she gets over it •• *• when she grows up. •• • • • TRY THIS ON TOUR GUITAR: He stretched his Imagination and called himself broad-minded. • • • The mouse ran up a clock, hy gosh, Which doesn’t sound so shocking, Until you find the clock in mind Was In a maiden’s stocking, • • • NOW HONESTLY— It isn’t customary to tip your lid to a man—but let’s be different for the moment and take our hats off to the mailman. He’s the fellow who makes two thousand miles away seem like a coupla minutes. The letter he brings you and me from someone in the far off spots Is what close*, somewhat, the gap. Although he never knows which Is which, he brings good news, sad news, and the Indifferent. Let's thank him for the good and not blame him for the bad. The ‘inly time we really need be

MARCH 15,1U26

By GAYLORD NELSON

CROWDING THE FLfVVER Police Chief Johnson Issued orders to ills hired hands to arrest motorists who crowd passengers Into their care beyond Ihc capacity of the vehicles and who fes toon their running-boards with passengers. The accident Friday on the Bluff Rd., Just outside of Indianapolis, In which one youth was killed and five others more or less seriously Injured, caused the edict. The six boys lu a light roadster collided with a motor bus —a sort of animated sardine can striking a brick * wall. Boys were sprayed over tho landscape. Several weeks ago another Indianapolis youth was crushed to death under the wheels of a street car after being brushed off the running board of an overloads automobile. A perfectly good ordinance was passed months ago by the city coun ell making it unlawful to overcrowd automobiles —to carry more ■ than three persons on the front seat or permit 'em to dangle on the running-board. Since passage that ordinance lias slumbered—ignored with Impunity. Just another unlnforced traffic regulation. But now that a couple of fatalities have resulted from overcrowding flivvers the ordinance awakes and authorities prod It Into actlvity. Asa safety mensure the nance may be open to crltlclsWP It Is difficult to define mathematically whnt constitutes dangerous overcrowding of automobiles. Four persons of the stringy type might not overcrowd the driver's scat might not even cast a shadow. While on the other hand, a single globular person might crowd n small coupe beyond capacity and bulge out over the road like a load of hay. But the Intention of the ordinance Is to protaoto safety. Mercly multiplying trafflo regulations and then not lnforclng them doesn’t make for suXety. bootlegging” NOT SO FUNNY Barth Springer Is dead and his wife who shot him, when crazed with drink he beat her, Is In jail. "Yes, I killed him," she moans, "and , oh, I want to go with him, I love him so." Bade of this tragedy Is a simple story. A happy couple, an Industrious husland and a loving wife, a modest home —and bootleg booze. Lately the hukhand began to drink heavily the deadly stuff handled by Haughville bootleggers. That ended happiness In that home. Sober the husband was ns good to her as ever, drunk, h made life for his wife a hell. A week ago oho complained to the police and gave tho names of loggers supplying her with liquor. Investigation and one arrest followed. But he still got the stuff from other bootleggers. Then the Anal spree—and tragedy. Prohibition may be a Joke. Certainly It hns liecome proof smartness rather than depravity to circumvent the Eighteenth Amend ment. It has becorno the subject of quips and gags for all the Jokesmiths. The stage bootlegger is a sure-flre comedy hit. And we are amused at the successful tricks to evade the law of real bootleggers. Their exploits are recounted with broad smiles and hearty laughter. Prohibition and bootlegging may have added greatly to the coun try’s output of humor, nut the bootlegging business Is not so funny. Ask Mrs. Springer.

shy on the welcome Is around tho first of the month. * • • Maybe It’s the politics that’s crept into booze that makes It taste so funny. • • • Isn’t it remarkable how some oldfashioned salesgirls can smell of a piece of ribbon and tell how long it is? • M TRY THIS ON YOTtR KTTTTItP DRUMS: The policeman nsked the man to accompany him but the poor fellow couldn’t sing. • • • FABLES IN FACT THIS CONCERNS MOST ANY MOTHER AND MOST ANY LITTLE CHILD PERIOD THE MOTHER HAD THE CHILD ON HER knee AND WAS HANDING OUT ONE OF THOSE SWEET LECTURES PERIOD CONVERSATION WENT ON SOMETHING LIKE THIS COLON QUOTATION MARK YOU HAVE BEEN A VERY BAD CHILD PERIOD EVERYTHING I TELL YOU TO DO COMMA YOU DON’T COMMA AND EVERYTHING I TELL YOU NOT TO Do COMMA YOU DO PERIOD I PIMPLY CAN'T MAKE YOU MIND PERIOD QUOTATION MARK AND THAT’S HOW THE CHILD FOUND OUT WHAT A FAILURE THE MOTHER WAS PERIOD (Copyright, 1926, NEA Service, Inc.) RECORD BROKEN HALIFAX, N. B.—The lobster fishing season of 1925 on the Atlantic const of Canada closed with nn increased catch over the provlous year of 7,131,000 pounds.* The total catch since the commencement of the fishing season was 38,839,000 pounds, of which 8.313,400 pounds wore shippod In shell an<L ‘he balance cannod, making 127,5ifl cart*. ALWAYS WILL BE SQUAW FT. DUCHESNE, Utah.—Augusts, six-foot Vte Indian buck, for thirty- , eight years has worn the garb of a J squaw and has been entirely lgnoredl by fellow males of his tribe—b t'M cause In 1887 he was a "consclenfl tious objector" and refused to pan In a tribal raid. He now iH more than 80, but he will "squaw” for the rest of his