Indianapolis Times, Volume 36, Number 1, Indianapolis, Marion County, 12 May 1924 — Page 4

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The Indianapolis Times E. MARTIN, Editor-In-Chief ROY W. HOWARD, President ALBERT W. BUHRMAX, Editor WM. A MAYBORX, Bus. Mgr. Member of the Scripps-Howard Newspaper Alliance * * ’Client of the United Press, the NEA Service and the Scripps-Paine Service.# * * • Member of the Audit Bureau of Circulations. * Published daily except Sunday by Indianapolis Times Publishing Cos., 214-220 W. Maryland St., Indianapolis * * Subscription Rates: Indianapolis—Ten Cents a Week. Elsewhere—Twelve Cents a Week. * * • PHONE—MAIN 3500.

LODGE’S WORLD COURT r |OW comes Senator Henry Cabot Lodge, World Court fx foe, with a plan for a world court of his own. The only real difference between the World Court now functioning and the world court which Lodge proposes is that he proposed the one and not the other. Lodge's trouble is that he hates the League of Nations so he would refuse a ticket to heaven if the league had had any thing to do with the printing. In effect what he suggests is that league nations get together with him in another organization and form another world court. Bluntly, he wants a Lodge league of nations to organize a Lodge world court, a conception as amusing asjt is ridiculous and brazen. Lodge and others of his feather profess to believe the World Court is under the influence of the League of Nations. Would the Lodge court be any the less under the Lodge league of nations—since these nations, of necessity, must be precisely the same as those now in the League? Perhaps he knows of some hitherto undiscovered, but super-civilized nations, with whose aid he can build a rival court. Or maybe through his influence with heaven he hopes to secure the services of a set of archangels for judges. Otherwise he is merely clouding up the real issue, which is: Shall we or shall we not join THE World Court as recommended by the late President Harding and Secretary of State Hughes ? The Senate Foreign Relations Committee, headed by Lodge, is composed principally of League irreconeilables and World Court foes. Recent hearings before this committee proved that this country, without regard to geography, party, race or religion, is all for the court. Lacking the courage, however, to admit their error, it now. begins to look more and more as though, under the cover of perfumed smoke, the Harding proposal that we join the World Court is to be clone to death by Lodge and his band. You may have to borrow a gas mask, but watch this committee.

A ROLL OF HONOR salute these corporations as pioneers of “America the Wj Beautiful:” , + The Standard Oil Company of California. The Standard Oil Company of New York. Kelly-Springfield Tire Company. Pillsbury Flour Mills. Washburn-Crosby Company. Champion Spark Plug Company. B. F. Goodrich Tire Company. Sun Oil Company. Hood Rubber Company. Ajax- Rubber Company. Ward Baking Company. Dodge Brothers. Gulf Refining Company. Fleischman Yeast Company. These corporations have pledged themselves not to advertise on billboards in the country where the billboards spoil the natural scenery. And to the list of corporations we add the name of Flo Ziegfeld. judge of beauty and of “Follies” fame, who lias just announced he will tear down his enormous electric sign at Times Square, New York, and spend the $50,000 that it cost to run and the money that his billboards cost per year, in forms of advertising that do not mar the beauty of our scenery. The rapid spread of the billboard threatened to doom the beauty of outdoor America. But now it is the highway billboard which is doomed. Where these corporations have led, others will follow. Os what avail were the rocks and rills and beautiful boulevards of America if a billboard barred the view? Os what dignity a templed hill, if a lurid advertisement screamed from its side? What profit it if the woodsman spared the tree if the advertising man came along and tacked a sign on it? The billboard is an effective means of advertising, just as newspaper advertising is. But the billboard has absolutely no place in the country or along residence streets. is no landscape, wild or cultivated, that is not ruined by the presence of a billboard. Just as newspapers, useful in their place, litter up the woods if picnic parties are so thoughtless as to leave them behind. The corporations named above have led the way. Doubtless others will quickly follow. But this matter should not be left wholly to voluntary action, for there probably would always be some callous concern who would continue to deface the landscape. The rural billboard should be abolished by Federal action—by placing a prohibitive tax on them.

Who’ll Be the Next President?

The votoers will decide that in November? Not so; they’ll only choose between the candidates picked by the national conventions of the great parties in June. ‘Do you know how a President is nominated? Do you know the origin of political party conventions? How are the delegates to these conventions chosen? How many are there? Who chooses the national party committees? How are contests settled? Which States choose by primary, which by conventions, which by * other means? How do the delegations vote in the conventions? How is a party convention organized? Who chooses the temporary officers? How is a party convention organized? Who chooses

POLITICAL EDITOR. Washington Bureau The Indianapolis Times, 1322 New York Ave., Washington, D. C. I want a copy of the bulletin PARTY CONVENTIONS AND PRESIDENTIAL CAMPAIGN, and enclose here 'with 5 cents in loose postage stamps for same: Name ...... St. and No. or R. R City State t m

the temporary officers? How are the permanent officers chosen? How is the platform written? How are the candidates nominated? You’ll be reading thousands of words about the national party conventions between now and the time they adjourn in June; will you understand everything you are reading about? Our Washington bureau has prepared an eight-page printed bulletin on the national party conventions and the presidential campaign, which explains the whole machinery of the nomination of a President, the writing of a platform and the conduct of a campaign, If you want the inside Stuff on how these things are done, fill out and send the coupon below to our Washington bureau, as directed: '

BILL CRESSY DISCOURSES ON FLORIDA Famous Humorist Gives Low Down on Southern State, Will M. Cressy, famous-American humorist. is writing a series ot weekly articles for The Indianapolis Times on American cities. Here is hi3 iirst story. By WILL M. CRESSY Copyright, 1924, by NEA Service Inc. mN starting out for a tour of the United States, the first place that naturally suggests itself is the place you start from; and as my winter home is in St. Petersburg, Fla., we Will start there. Although I only found it out some three yeras ago, Florida is a wonderful State. I know it because a real estate man told me so. It is fiOO miles long, 200 miles wide and three feet high. It is bounded on the north by the eighteenth amendment and the other three sides by the three-mile limit. Florida’s principal exports are fruit, vegetables, fish, cigars and hot air. Has Lots of Assets The greatest assets are sunshine, flowers, fishing and proximity to Bimini and Cuba. Its largest cities are Peterjacksonvllle, Flam Beach, Paytona, Myarmy, Ford Myers, Scampa, AND St. Peters Burg. Jacksonville is called The Gateway to Florida; because you go through it going in and coming out, and they go through you going in. Tampa has 40,000 inhabitants, all cigar-makers. Grapefruit Defined Bartow is the center of the grapefruit belt. A grapefruit is a cross between a pumpkin,-a lemon and a dose of quinine. It tastes as much like a grape as it does like a dose of Hostetter's Bitters. The same fellow named them that named near beer. Another member of the citrus family is the tangerine. It is a second cousin to an orange, but dresses in a looser, more careless style of wrapper. However, it is of a dry, withered, discouraged disposition when undressed. The only fruit in Florida which really comes up to its advertising is

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the kumquat. That looks and tastes exactly the way it sounds. They Have Climate St. Petersburgh’s greatest asset is climate. Eighty and 90-year-old boys from lowa and Ohio come down there in wheel chairs and on stretchers and inside of three weeks are getting, arrested for slam-slamming at marbles day times and climbing over transoms nights. St. Petersburg has less horses and more ho seshoes than any ciy in the world. St. Petersburgh’s principal exports are dried cranberry necklaces, canceled checks, postcards of bathing girls and big fish, golf scores, stuffed fish and stuff that comes in from Cuba on “Ships That Pass in the Night.’! ( St. Petersburg is justlyl proud of her police force. Both of them.

Family Fun High Priced Boy “I’m looking for a bright little boy,” said the kind old lady to the youngster on roller skates, "who wants to earn a penny by mailing this letter for me.” “A penny, huh?” Wot you’re lookin’ fer is a little dumbbell!”— American Legion Weekly. Baby Was Bound To “Doctor, come quick! Baby’s swallowed a green dragon.”—Judge. Dad at Fishing “Got a bite yet?” “Naw; I don’ tbelieve my worm’s half 'rying.” One for Doctor “Doctor, there’s something the matter with my breathing.” “Well, we’ll soon stop that.”— Georgia Cracker. Sister’s Brother “No, Roswald, I can never be any more than a sister to you.” “All right—kiss brother ‘good night.’ ” —Yellow Jacket. Not at All No, mom, when daughter writes home from college that she has ’made the scrub team,” it doesn’t mean precisely that she has gone in for home economics or domestic science.-—Lafayette Journal and Courier.

THE INDIANAPOLIS TIMES

Conquered Scarlet fever and diphtheria have been conquered and eventually will be entirely eliminated, says Dr. William H. Park, conservative physician of high standing nationally. He adds that, a serum has been found that will prevent measles and check epidemics. No battlefield victory ever was as valuable. But while one class of scientists toil to save life by conquering disease, another class burns midnight oil developing new ways to take life in war. Science simultaneously is our greatest friend and enemy.

Ask The Times You can get an answer to any question of fact or information by writing to the Indianapolis Times' Washington Bureau, 1322 New York Ave., Washington, D. C.. inclosing 2 cents in stamps for reply. Medical, legal and marital advice cannot be given, nor can extended research be undertaken. All other questions will receive a personal reply. Unsigned requests cannot be answered. All letters are confidential.—Editor. What is the total cost of Government in the United States — including State, municipal and Federal? The estimate is more than seven billions a ye-ar. About one-eighth of the wealth produced annually goes to pay for Government through taxation. How many Government employes are there, including Federal, State, municipal, etc., and how much pay do they receive? The estimate is 3,400,000, whose pay totals over $4,000,000,000. How many homes in the United States have central station service electricity? . How can vinegar he clarified? By straining it through filter papr. or several thicknesses of canton flannel. What is the difference between smoking meat by hanging it in a smokehouse, exposed to the smoke of a wood fire, and, of meat where the cured meat is painted with pyroligneous acidffl Pyroligneou acid is a product of the destructive distillation of wood. The d.fferences between meat dipped In it and genuine smoked meat have

never been actually determined, but it is probable that the princiqjtl dis ference consists in the presence of a higher percentage of water in the former. There may possibly be a small amount of methyl alcohol present in meat dipped in pyroligneous acid. The use of pyroligneous acid is prohibited in establishments operating under Federal meat inspecUon, not because it is thought to be harmful to human health, but because it contains substances, notably methyl alcohol, which are not permitted to be added to meats under the meat-inspection regulations, and also because its use is considerd deceptive in that it tends to give an appearance anS flavor simulating that of smoked meats to meats which have not been smoked. Has the Government published a pamphlet on the care and training of homing pigeons? Yes. “Homing Pigeons; Their Care and Training,” Farmer’s Bulletin 1373. can be had free (as long as the supply lasts) on application to the Department of Agriculture, AVashIngrton, D. C. What is the cause of infertile eggs and the death of chicks befor they are ready to pick through? The poultry experts of the Department of Agriculture say that it is usually due to either forcing, long continued cool weather, or on account of hens being kept confined too long. How many sheep and goats can a man shear a day? From 125 to 150 both sheep and goats. Which is the most deadly serpent to man? The King Cobra. What is the average age of pupils graduating from high school? Eighteen. What is -the population of Constantinople? Approximately 1,200,000. Which birds sing at night? The nightingale, vesper sparrow, mocking-bird, yellow-chested chat, oven bird and rose-breasted grosbeak. How long do toads live? It is believed, under favorable conditions,'thirty years.

COOLIDGE IS FACING 810 PROBLEMS Bonus, Immigration and Revenue Will Be Tests of President, By HARRY B. HUNT NEA Service Writer fry/l ASHINGTON, May 12.—The ! real test of Calvin Coolidge as L. J an executive will come dur- ; ing the next four weeks. For between now and the recess or adjournment of Congress, prior to the Cleveland convention at which Coolidge will be renominated as G. O. P. standard bearer, he must go on record definitely, in black and white, as approving or rejecting che major works of this session of Congress. These are: The soldiers bonus. The immigration bill. Anew revenue bill. His action on each ol these bills will become an issue of prime importance in the fight for and against his re-election. If he signs the bills In their present form he will reverse himself on all of them. That is not likely. If he vetoes them, he will in each instance align against him an active group which will work diligently to defeat his re-election. Veto Believed Certain The bonus bill seems slated for certain veto. The majorities by which it passed both House and Senate, however, forecast as certain an enactment over his veto. Any member of Senate or House who had the temerity to switch his vote following the veto wSuld find his path for re-election enfiladed by American Legion sharpshooters and made mighty dangerous if not impassable. On the immigration bill, feverish efforts are being made to effect an outside agreement with Japan which will insure Japanese exclusion and justify removal of the Jap prohibition clause from the bill. Both Coolidge and Secretary Hughes hojie this can he done. In the meantime,! while these efforts are under way, ; the bill will be held “in conference.” If this cannot be effected, here. ; too, a veto is probable. And a veto ! without a satisfactory “diplomatic I arrangement” would be as certain of

being overridden by a two-thirds vote in Congress as would the bonus bill. lax Bill Real Test On taxes. Coolidge must accent the Democratic-progressive coalition bill or elect to take none at all. Here will be the real test v The bonus and immigration bills are impersonal to the vast majority of voters. The tax bill hits the pocket nerve of every man and woman who will go to the polls in November. A veto which would postpone tax reduction for a year would hand to the opposition a powerful campaign bludgeon. But approval of a bill which he had publicly branded as unscientific and ineffective would invite criticism perhaps its damaging. The manner in which Cooiidge handles these three measures will furnish a good gauge for measuring his backbone, his adherence to principle and his susceptibility to pressure and to expedience. They will determine definitely the measure of his coolness and his caution, and perhaps decide whether he will continue to “execute” after March 4, next, or whether he will be “executed” on Nov. 4. A Thought He that wasteth his father, and chaseth away his mother, is a son that causeth shame and bringeth reproach.—Prov. 19:26. * * * The dutifulness of children is the foundation of all virtues.—Oice-o. Musicland Edward Mac Dowell is considered the foremost American composer. His advance was so rapid that he was soon offered notable positions In Germany, where he had been studying. He was given the position of musical professor at the Uhiversity of Columbia, where he had some unfortunate disagreements with the management and resigned. He was so discouraged over his connection with the university that he became melancholy which, together with insomnia and strain from overwork, made his last days overwhelmed with suffering. It is very interesting to note how many artists are subject to melancholia toward the end of their careers.

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PLATFORM BIG ISSUE ' WITH G. O. P. Democrats Will Have Jazzy Convention —Nomination Is Question, By CHARLES P. STEWART VK t Service Writer WASHINGTON. May 12.—Cut-and-dried is no name for what the Republican presidential nomination is going to be this year. There may have been conventions when everybody knew just as well in advance whom the nominee would he—for instance 1904. when Roosevelt was named. But the candidate’s personality stirred up enthusiasm then. Coolidge isn’t the kind of individual anybody can enthuse over much. There’ll be hollering, of course, but it wiU be a perfunc.ory sort. There'll be a certain amount of rivalry for the vice presidential nomination, but that’s always comparatively mild. It won’t be an uninteresting convention, for all that. Progressive Figure There !! be little excitement about the nominations, but about the platform there may be a lot. The old guard and the progressives aren’t going to agree. Naturally the old guard leaders don’t admit it, but they’re not a bit sure Coolidge will be elected if there’s a third party in the field. Just as long as the regulars think there’s the least chance of placating the progressive crowd they'll be as nice to the latter as they know how. The progressives will say unkind things, but soft answers are all th.ey'll get—until and not until the regulars make up theiy minds there positively isn't the scintilla of a hope of avoiding a break. Then somebody is going to get cussed out. If that doesn't happen and if it doesn’t furnish an incident to go thundering down into history as one of the hottest that any convention ever saw—why, experienced politicians are missing their guess. Stands Fair Chance For all that the Republican nominations probably will lack in jazz, the Democrats will more than make up. They think —just as the Republicans really and the Democratic candidate stands a pretty fair fighting chance. True, there's a possibility of a Democratic as well as a Republican break and an extra ticket, but it isn’t more than a mere possibility—it isn’t quite a strong probability, as on the Republican side. Hence the Democratic nomination is powerfully in demand, with not nearly enough of a supply to go ’round.

Spring By HAL COCHRAN Dog-gone-it, it’s spring and there isn’t a thing that has never been written about it, .The story is old and it always is told; when the spring comes around poets shout it. The birds sing the same as they always have sung and the frogs croak the usual way. The real thoughts of spring have so often been flung that it’s useless to fling ’em today. Why,/ even the creek hasn’t changed, so to speak, and the water still trickles galore. The kids, if you please, wade around to their knees —but you’ve all heard that story before. The dandelion yellow, the violet blue an;d the moss that grows under the brush, are all quite familiar to me and to you, like the song of the robip or thrush. The feeling of spring is a wonderful thing, but it’s foolish to bother my head at writing about It when you, I don’t doubt it, can step out and feel it instead. (Copyright, 1924, NEA. Service, Inch)

They Don’t Mix!

Science Who are the ten greatest scientists in history—and why? Here is a recent selection by Prof. J. Arthur Thompson, author of "The Outline of Science:” Aristotie —Founded experimental science and comparative anatomy. Galileo —Father of mechanics and astronomy; discovered laws of gravity and motion, made telescopes, announced that earth revolved about the sun. Isaac Newton —Discovered the law of gravitation. Lavoisier —Developed law of conservation of matter. Harvey—Demonstrated blood circulation. Helmholtz—Established the conservation of energy. Fareday—Pioneer in electricity. Claude Bernard —Made plain bodily processes of breakdown and repair and discovered functions of ductless glands. Charles Darwin—Proved the doctrine of the evolution of man. Pasteur—Discovered that diseases were due to organisms and prepared weapons to fight them. Tongue Tips Chauncey Mitchell Depew. “In the analysis of life, it is judged by the happiness it enjoys and gives.” Henry A. Perkins. New York: “One of the most serious needs of the modern type of American student is a knowledge of English. I meat! the perfectly good American student who conies from a home where books are unknown. He can neither write nor understand his own language.” Frank Harris, writer. "Plain women are apt to believe a pretty girl can win any man she sets her cap at, but your pretty girl knows better; knows that the very man she most wanted never surrendered to her challenge.” Thomas Riley Marshall. ex-Vice President: “Majority rule in America does not mean the mad, unreasoning sway of partisan or personal prejudice. It simply means to rule carefully.” Mary Piekford; “Douglas is a wonderful husband. Always his first and foremost thought is of me. That means everything to me.”

UNUSUAL PEOPLE Real Hero of

Northwest

wf'Aife': — A A • >

Abert* Moore, 22, a Minneapolis engineer, has been proclaimed oy Mayor G. E. Leach of Minneapolis ‘‘the outstanding hero of the year in the Northwest.” Moore saved the lives of three boys who had slipped off a bank into twentyfive feet of water. He brought the third boy up from the bottom. Hubby Hopeless “Aren’t you going to contest her suit for divorce?” “What’s the use? I never won an argument with that woman in my life."—Boston Transcript.

MONDAY, MAY 12, 1924

FARMER IS GIVEN‘ALUM AND ROSIN’ Politicians Dose Him With ‘Dope,’ Hoping He • Will Recover. By HERBERT QUICK Once on a remote plantation in central Alabama some young men were doing athletic stunts. One of | them injured himself so that he was in excruciating pain. They sent a messenger off in haste for a doctor at a town many miles off. The patient grew worse. So, while the real doctor was coming, they called in a colored ’'Doc'' to see what lie could do. He gave the youn£ man a bad tasting draught; and before the physician arrived, his pain was gone. “What did you give him?” asked the doctor of the “Doc.” “Well, suh," said the “Doc.” ”1 kain't give up my knowledge foh nothin’.” “What’ll you take to tell me what you gave him?” asked the doctor out of curiosity. “Well,” said the "Doc,” "1 kain’t give out info'mation like that fo’ less’n fo' bits.” “Here's your four-bits. Now what was it you doped him with?” “I give him rozum, suh, an’ alum.” said the colored brother, pocketing the half-dollar. “What was \he theory of giving him rosin and alum?" asked the astonished physician. “The alum, suh, was to draw the busted parts togedder an’ the rozum was to sodder ’em!” When I read of all the prescriptions which this Administration and the agricultural “Docs” are offering the farmers in their present great pain, I am reminded of this colored practitioner. They are giving the farmers rosin and aJum. It won’t do him any good, but he may get a little better of his own accord, and then he'll give credit to the quack nostrum. President Coolidge gave them a raise in the tariff on wheat. The pain still continues; for wheat is lower than before the tariff was boosted. The prospect of the Me-Nary-Haugen rosin and alum has given the Board of Trade men a chance to play with prices a little, but they still hang at about the dollar a bushel which it dropped to when he gave the dose. It runs a quarter or more less on the farms. The politicians are praying that the alum of legislation will draw the busted parts together and that the rosin of buncombe will solder them —until after election. It's a rosin-and-alum campaign all along the line.

Tom Sims Says: Boys who don’t cut their feet and have stone bruises every summer never will amount to very much. The proper place for a vacation is off in the woods where people argue over what year it is. Never get along nicely while your wife is away visiting her mother. If you do it will make your wife mad. Going broke is a short trip by auto. Strange things happen every day. In Boston, a woman used a mirror to see how to shoot herself, instead of why. Going riding alone is an awful waste o” moonlight. By the time you find the needle in the haystack it is rusty. Not So Much With the big battle some began to foresee at Cleveland now already over, and with the big State convention battle that would have followed had Jackson, Shank and Toner run neck and neck also in the discard, there’s grave danger of admission tickets for these big shows actually being nothing to scramble for.—Clinton Clintonian.