Indianapolis Times, Volume 35, Number 121, Indianapolis, Marion County, 29 September 1922 — Page 1

Home Edition Full leased wires of Jnlted .tress. United News and United Financial. Complete services of the NEA and Scripps Newspaper Alliance.

VOLUME 35—NUMBER 121

BRITISH AUTHORITIES ISSUE SUMMARY ORDER TO TURKS

"ID OF STRIKES IN COAL INDUSTRY AIMOFMEETING Important Conference Will Undertake to Devise Preventive Means. SEARLES SETS OUT PLAN Mine Union Officials and Operators to Discuss r Future Relations. By ELLIS SEARLES Editor United Mine Workers Journal. Written for the United News. WASHINGTON. Sept. 29.—Two results, more progressive than any heretofore achieved in the history of the bituminous coal industry, will be forthcoming from the conference which opens at Cleveland, next Monday between bituminous miners and operators, if all goes well. These results, it is hoped, will be: 1. The setting up of machinery within the industry for the prevention of strikes and lockouts. 2. The creation of a fact-finding commission made up of representatives of both sides. This conference will bring together bituminous operators from all over the country and representatives of the United Mineworkers of America from every organized field, the purpose being to devise a method for the i negotiation of the next wage agreement to take the place of the present agreement which expires March 30, 1923. Should next Monday’s conference prove successful, as both sides have every reason to expect, machinery i within the industry will have been set ; up to prevent strikes and lockouts. ! This will be one of the longest steps | ever taken toward permanent indus- j trial peace in America. Important Duly Outlined One very important duty of this j commission to be created at Cleveland . was set forth In the Cleveland agree- j nient as follows: "The commission shall consider the i encouragement of a proper spirit of j obligation and responsibility on the i part of all parties toward contractual ' obligations and the establishment of • proper machinery, both local and na- j tional, for prompt determination and settlement of any points of dispute in any local, State or district contract without resorting to strike or lockout.” botMdpsMe; WOUND IS FRTAL Pearl Argadine Shot While Hunting-Coroner Institutes Investigation. Pearl Argadine, 14, son of Harry : W. Argadine, 2618 N. Olney St., died at the city hospital last night as the result of a gunshot wound accidently received while hunting yesterday at Keystone Ave.. near Fifty-Eourth St. He was carrying a rifle on his shoulder and dropped it. The rifle | was accidently discharged and the j bullet hit him in the leg. A neigh- j l>or boy named Wilcox was with j Argadine at the time of the accident. | 'I he coroner today started an investigation. FINED ON B. T. CHARGE Koy E. Accused of Having Quantity of Liquor. Roy E. Mussman, 29, of 1560 S. Belmont Ave., was found guilty of eperating a blind tiger in city court today and fined SIOO and costs. Officers testified that they found a Quantity of liquor in the man’s house, j NEGRO FLEECED Deposits S3O-5 With "Con” Men to' Get Job. Detectives today were searching for ! the two negro "con” men who yes- j terday relieved Emmett Dale, negro. ; of Knoxville, Tenn., of $305. Dale met the negroes at the Union j Station, who offered him a “position.” ! He "deposited’’ the money In order j to get the job. Then his “friends” i disappeared. THE WEATHER Unsettled weather has overspread j the northern plains region, but, ex-1 cept in scattered areas, elsewhere the j . weather has been fair since Thursday i I morning. I Temperatures have risen higher j ’’ from the middle and upper Mississippi I valley eastward to the Alleghanies, k and the readings there are now near : ' or above the seasonable average. It j is colder, however, from the northern | plains region westward to th? i Rockies and frost and freezing tem j peratures occurred last night in parts j of Montana, Idaho and Wyoming. Jacksonville, New Orleans and J Tampa reported temperatures of 74 degrees, while the minimum of 38 degrees was reported at Helena. Mont, j HOURLY TEMPERATURE. 1 6 a. m 61 11 a. m 80 * 7 a. m . 62 12 (noon) 81 8 a m 69 1 p. m 85 9 Cm m 73 2 p. m 86 10 a. m_....... 78

The Indianapolis Times

TOM SIMS SAYS: " ' Time spent feeling I bad is time wasted. HgSwj \ Hunt the bright.! WrJW -&\ side. If skirts keep getting longer we •i Iwon’t have to sweep j the sidewalks. SIMS I Ex-kaiser plans to marry Nov. 5. ! Wonder if he will sign another armistice on Nov. 11? People who think are scarce, but people who think they think equal | our census figures. During the hunting season a cow ; that acts like a deer is worth money j to her owner. Just when the silly season was almost over a Syracuse man sued a widow for breach of promise. I Among things one must see to be- ‘ lieve is an I. W. W. working. If, as they claim, the tariff was passed by machine politics, it was a subtracting machine. Everything has its bright side. About 100.000 tons of figs were burned by the Turks. "Can Birds Smell?" —headlines the Digest. Yes, if not on ice. French baron arrested for stealing an actress' car. The lower classes just won’t behave. One man who chewed tobacco eighty-two years has quit because his wife chewed the rag about it. In Zion City, a man has a way to j make shoes last ten years. Going | barefoot is another. "Work is the only road to success." writes one successful man and blasts ' many a hope. Our first woman for foreign diplomatic service has been chosen, but i they are all diplomats at home. MRS. STILLMAN AWARDED DECREE IN FAMOUS CASE Court Holds Wife of Banker Guiltless of Improper Conduct With Guide. By United Press POUGHKEEPSIE. N. Y., Sept. 29. ! Mrs. Fill Potter Stillman today was | 1 awarded the decision in her famous | divorce action with James A. Stillj man, millionaire and former president ’ of the National City Bank. I In the decision of Referee Daniel 1 J. Gleason, filed hy him in the county i court at Carmel, N. Y., and made pub- ' I lie here, the following points are made: 1. The proof does not show that Mrs. ! Stillman was guilty of adultery with ! Fred Beauvais, an Indian guide. 2. The infant Stillman. Guy, is still a child of Stillman and Mrs. Stillman : and not the ch.ld of Fred Beauvais. I 3. The plaintiff, Stillman, was ' guilty of adultery with Helen Leeds 1 and has two children by her. The referee decided there was not sufficient proof to show that Stillman was associated with two other women known as “Helen” and; "Clara.” POLITICS Pa Harding Talks By United Yet es DES MOINES, lowa. Sept. 29.—Dr. George T. Harding, father of President Harding, entered lowa politics for a few minutes Thursday when he made a speech attacking Col. Smith W. Brookhart. Republican nominee for the United States Senate, and put in a boost for Clyde L. Herring, Brookhart’s Democratic opponent.

BETTER BUSINESS CONDITIONS—BABSON Expert Gives Reasons for Optimism on National Economic Affairs

| By United News ; BOSTON, Sept. 29.—Better bust-1 I ness conditions throughout the United | ■ States for the coming months were ; predicted by Roger \V. Babson, eco- | nomic expert, in a speech here Thurs- | day. ! The reasons are. he said, that fundamental conditions are favorable; money and credit conditions are improved; crops are good, and marked improvement in employment conditions is shown. People have begun to produce more ! than they can c onsume, and this Is the vital point, Babson pointed out. The social, economic and spiritual conditions which affect business have come to the point where they furnish the basis for genuine improvement, he continued. From the standpoint of profits, Babson said, the crop outlook is the | best in years, the harvest promising j and prices fair. This means that the j great agricultural sections during the next few months will take on new I Plenty J By United Press j KANSAS ' CITY. Sept. 29. i "When a man has his head shot partly off. he's had enough,” Robert Turner, negro, said, in explaining his intention “to quit the burglary business and go preaching.”

TECHNICAL RICH SCHOOL ROB PRpDLEMSERIOUS Conditions Harder to Meet Than at Shortridge and Manual. |TWO PUPILS FOR EACH SEAT Classes Being Held in Basement?, Corridors and Nooks I [ —Enrollment Now 4,500. Technical High Is the most crowded I school in Indianapolis. There ara two pupils for every seat, Milo H. Stuart, principal, said, despite the fact the school day has been increased to ten periods instead of eight. Classes are being held in basements, nooks of corrridors, halls, and in all of the old structures formerly Government buildings. These include the barn, old power-house, old barracks, commandant's residence and old artillery building. Mr. Stuart said there were at least two teachers to each room, that twelve of the rooms were below the normal size of a classroom, and that the school day was divided Into three shifts, in efforts to meet the in- ! creased attendance problem. Th ad , vanced pupils attend school in the morning, the beginners in the midday and the elementary students in the afternoon. Try Longer Day The management at Technical voluntarily assumed a longer day in a futile attempt to cope with the overcrowding problem. ! At the present time there are en- | rolled in the school about 4,500 pupils. There are approximately 2,200 seats. "I don’t know what we will do when ojiout. 1.000 pupils enter next February. The problem looms up j like a njiountatn. "We have reached a crisis lrj congestion at Techical. IVe have gttne to every extreme to ac commoclate the Increase," Mr. Stuart said. ijunrh Rooms for Study The lunchrooms probably will he UPed as iclassrooms next semester, Mr. Stuart f aid. They are used as study halts no w. The 1 ndianapolis school city is in a serious financial difficulty when it comes io erecting any buildings to accomoniate the large numbers of children who fill the schools to much more than their capacity. Mr. S tuart said he believed when people i -,t the city realized the opportune leg Technical plans offered for monum? nts to members of their family > vho had died or for the erection ol 1 memorials in the form of building s , he believed bequests would be left. This, he believes, will aid materia ly in meeting future needs. * A, PPROVES CHARGE City Wil l Not Oppose 10-Cent Owl Car Fare. Corpoi -ation Counsel Taylor L. Groningi r said today the city would acquiesc 9 in the request of the Indianapolis fCtreet Railway Company for ten-cent fares on “owl” cars, because the may or's citizen committee to investigate* the financial condition of the car com pany had recommended that the incr- ;ase be granted. C EMOCRATS MEET State P; irty Chieftmis ILfo Registration Work. Members of the Democratic State commit, ee. State and congressional candidaloa ami party workers held a conference at the Denison Hotel today. Tliie importance off getting the full Deilnoeratic vote registered was urged *-y several speakers. Until after ot. 9, final registration date, energies! of the Democn itio organizations thlv.ughoi/c Indian? t will bo concentra tefd on this matte p.

life and that at least or ,0-third of the people of the country are going to have a greatly incr ?ased buying power this fall and win ter. “The most optimistic t act, however.” he declared, "is that this year the farmers' increased prof its come from the ground and not fro m the pockets of the consuming public . Large crops are a source of real we 3.lth; they he’.p every one.

DICK HAS THE NERVE But Not the Gun to Catch Thief

By DICK MIVIER What would you d|> if you were called on to catch a blqrglar? Especially when thi > burglar gets away and has to be c: uight a second time. I accompanied a pc fice squad yesterday afternoon in sc arch for a burglar who had stolen clothing from , the home of Florence Kelly, 308 Belle Vteu PI. j We were in the erne rgency machine ' when we saw a negro carrying a suit ■of clothes. The polic p squad and l ; jumped from the oar ani j started in pursuit. Across a field we \ r en t and over a fence. The negro ra n through some shrubbery. The poli ee scattered. I went into a backyard a t 24 N. Pet siting Ave In a she <} j found the I negro. 1 \ 1

INDIANAPOLIS, FRIDAY, SEPT. 29, 1922

‘I’M SORRY’ Bandit Is Polite By United Xeics CHICAGO, Sept. 29. —The apologetio bandit made his appearanace here. / He entered the restaurant of Peter Patulis on N. Clark St. and sat down, as Peter laid out water, a pat of butter, a paper napkin and some implements on the counter before him. “3orry,” said the bandit, drawing a gun and pointing it at Patulis, “but I ain’t a customer. I’m a robber." Patulis handed over $55 in bills and some change from the cash register. WITNESS IN DRY FROST BACKS UP DN BEATING STUDY] Charles C. Ray Contradicts Account Given Earlier to Police Officers. Investigation of the assault committed early today upon Charles C. Ray, principal witness against Robert H. Abel, former acting group chief of Federal prohibition agents, charged with violation of the prohibition laws, was begun today by Bert C. Morgan. Federal prohibition director for Indiana. Ray appeared at the Federal build- ■, inp about noon today and called upon I 1 Morgan, Mark Stolen, United States j marshal, and Homer Elliott, United States district attorney. To Director Morgan lie told a story conflicting with the one lie told police officials earlier in the day when he was arrested on a charge of drunk. Hay told Morgan he did not believe Abel or ar.y of his friends had anything to do with tho assault. He told tho police he believed Abel's friends were responsible, j Ho told the police that he had been | lured to a lonely spot on the Millers- j | ville road by “four of Bob Abel’s , friends” and beaten up. In Ills story to Morgan he said he ! thought the assault was committed by bootleggers, who believed he was gathering evidence for tho Federal ; prohibition department. Ray was badly beaten up. One eye 1 almost was closed, two teeth were I missing and his face badly bruised. I Abel was bound over to the Federal ■ grand jury under $2,500 bond on ; charges of conspiracy to violate the prohibition laws. Principal witnesses against Abel were Ray s ami Horace Lyle, negro, 1 occasionally employed as an investigator for tho attorney general of Indiana. Ray testified that in May, 1921, Abel had come to him at the Allies Hotel and asked him to sell SI,SOO worth of whisky. Ray said ho refused. i Lyle Admits Sale Lyle said he had sold S9OO worth j of whisky for Abel, for which ho was Ito receive one-third, but he said ho never got the money. Abel attempted to show by' Fred T. Cretors, chief deputy United States marshal, and Harry Nicholas, negro, elevator man, that the whisky Lyle testified he had sold had been destroyed. They said they had seen some liquor destroyed, but were unable to give the exact amount. A ripple of laughter went through tho room why Lyle testified that Abel poured one quart of whisky into a bucket of water let it stand in order that the fumes might pervado the Federal building and create the impression that a big quantity of liquor bud been poured down the drain pipes. SING 1.0 SINGS HIGH. By United Press CHICAGO —Neighbors complained that Sing Lo, laundryman, was playing Scotch tnusic on his saxophone. Police investigated and found a horse in tho last stages of asthma. The horse’s name was Harry Lauder.

| "Loans through the country have ! been reduced, the Federal reserve I banks rediscounting only about a j fourth as much as they were this I time last year. The long swing trend of interest rates is downward. “The financial position of business houses is decidedly better. The peak of losses apparently has been passed, and, while there are many small failures, this in itself usually marks the

Pulling him out, I reached into my hip pocket as if I had a gun. He looked at me a moment, decided t didn't have a gun and broke away. I was left standing with his torn shirt sleeve in my hand. Again the race was on. Down a street, through a yard and over a hack fence we ran. I ducked into a yatd as Detective Peats took three shots at the negro. The burglar kept on going. Then I the police emergency machine showed up and the negro ran into a house at 132 N. Traub Ave., where he was capj tured. He gave his name as George Harj den, 832 N. Torbett St. He was charged with burglary and grand larj oeny. Eater, Sam Sanders, 27, of the same address, was arrested on a vagrancy charge. Police say he was associated with Harden.

Tots Travel Alone From Brazil

If you were only 5 would you undertake a trip from Brazil to New York unaccompanied by an older person? Nylcie Pereira did and brought along her sister Leny, 4, and both arrived safely.

NEED OF UTILITY [XPERT FIR BIT! SEENBVGUUNSEL Gas Company Employs Sixty Specialists in Formulating Appraisal, Says Groninger. “Testimony In Federal court this week that the Citizens Gas Company paid $33,000 for twenty experts to mako a survey of the property and forty experts worked on the data In foriViulating an appraisal. served again to call attention to tho great need for an export to render the same kind of service for the city," said Corporation Counsel Taylor E Groninger today. An ordinance appropriating $4,000 to the legal department for hire of a public utility expert, who would assist the corporation counsel, has been pending In city council several months. "How can the city hope to have much success fighting unwise demands of six great utilities without the help of a single expert when just one of these corporations can hire sixty and pay $35,000 for them?” uskod Groninger. “VVe did have tho services of an expert in the electric light rate cases early this year, paying him SSOO. I think it was chiefly due to his work that wo got rate cuts which save citizens SBOO,OOO a year.” FIND THROAT SLASHED Second Autopsy Held Over Body of Rector's Companion in Death. By United Prrts NEW BRUNSWICK, N.. J.. Sept. 29.—Mrs. Elinor Mills’ throat was slashed and three bullets fired into her head by the murderer or murderers who killed her the night of Sept. 14. according to findings of surgeons who performed a second autopsy on the body here today. Mrs. Mills’ body was exhumed in a delayed search for clews, after authorities had failed to identify the slayers of tho woman and the Rev. Edward Wheeler Hall, killed at the same time and pkice.

latter stage of a period of severe liquidation. During the past four years conservatism has served best, but now the country is entering the part of the cycle when conditions justify further extension of credit.’* Babson spoke before the sales managers of New England at the Boston City Club. MAY PUBLISH LEGALS Officials (an Authorize Ads for Own Newspapers. Attorney General Lesh, in an opinion to Jesse E. Eschbach, chief examiner of the State board of accounts, has held that a county, city or township official may authorize publication of legal notices in a newspaper which he owns. CHARGES MANSLAUGHTER Grand Jury Indicts City Fireman Following Accident. Thomas Laffey, 31, of 431 Agnes St., city fireman, was bound over to the grand jury, on recommendation of Coroner Paul Robinson, on a manslaughter charge today in city court. On Sept. 15, Baffey was driving a car south on Senate Ave. when his machine crashed into another, demolished a store front and inflicted injuries upon Josie Malone, 65, negress. from which she later died at the city hospital.

Psychological By United Xetct WHITE PLAINS, N. Y.. Sept. | 9.—Mrs. Florence L. Finch fainted on the witness stand during a sep- j aration suit ajainst her husband. When she revived, ho was holding her hand. She smiled. So did he. Then they talked. “I forgive you for everything," said Mrs. Finch. They went homo together. KliilS SPEIKFR PREACHES RICHER CODE OF ETHICS Declares Old Practices Out of Tune With Modern Business Methods. By OOSAI.D D. HOOVER Timet Staff Correspondent ANDERSON, Ind., oept. 29.—“1n j every group of men are some with ' signs of barbarism in their personal ! and business conduct,” declared j Joseph G. Phipps today in his address before the delegates to the fifth an- | nuat convention of Indiana Kiwanls Clubs here. Phipps is chairman of the business methods committee. "Modern times are out of tune with cheating, ill treatment and dirty business. A higher code exists and a man can not long wrongfully treat the public and not suffer the penalty,” he said. Indorse Riley Hospital John N. Brommert of Indianapolis, retiring governor, said the prosperity iind future development of America | depends largely upon a better under- ] standing and sympathy between pro-j ducers, merchants and consumers. The Riley Memorial Hospital project ■was heartily indorsed and support of the movement voted. Holding of membership in other clubs such as Kiwanls, where connection is by classification, was discouraged. District Governor Brommert proposed that no holder of this office be eligible to succeed himself. Dr. B. D. Myers, Bloomington, was slated to be elected district governor over J. T. Arbuckle, Rushville. Paul Donald Brown, Indianapolis, did not seek re-election as district secretary. South Bend was making a strong bid for the 1923 convention.

D A ¥ MIT fl /\ fa 1 IVliiM H

Prayers Recently while four-year-old Ted was saying his good night prayers, he made the following request: "Dear Lord, keep my daddy nice and swell, for that’s the way I iike to him." —McG. Breakfast Little Jack Roberson, two years old, beard a calf bawling lustily. "Murtder, let Jack see the cow?” he asked. “No. no," his mother said, “the cow wants its breakfast.” "Oh," Jack grasped the Idea, "Bisets and toffey!”—M. R. Pedigree James had heard his parents tell that their new dog was part bulldog and part fox terrier. When some neighbor asked him what kind of a dog he had he answered: "O, his head is real fox terrier, but his tall, J guess, Is bulldog.”—R. L. B letter of the Law Three-year-old Sonny had been taught not to ask neighbors for food. Playing just outside the home of bis boon companion, John, the latter said he was going to ask his mother lor a banana. Sonny, probably try-

Entered as Second-class Matter at Postofftce, Indianapolis Published Daily Except Sunday.

IMMEDIATE WITHDRAWAL FROM NEUTRAL TERRITORY IS DEMANDED BY CABINET General Harrington Directed to Serve Second Ultimatum on Mustapha Kemal’s Forces Now Encompassing Entrenchments. FURTHER ENCROACHMENTS FEARED Security of Military Position Is Jeopardized by Advancing Nationalists, Who Have Ignored Original Orders. BULLETIN By United Press ATHENS, Sept. 29.—A party of armed Turks recruited in Constantinople attempted a surprise attack in tho neutral zone in the region of Stranza, but was dispersed with some casualties, according to reports received here today. (This refers to the neutral zone on the European side, northwest of Constantinople, and it is presumed that the Turks clashed with Greeks). BULLETIN By United Press PARIS, Sept. 29. —Franklin Bouillon, French Near East expert, arrived at Smyrna for a conference with Mustapha Kemal and both later left for Angora, the seat of the Turkish Nationalist government, it was stated here today. Bouillon was sent by his government to plead with Kemal to respect the neutrality of the straits zone and to accept the allied peace offer. By United Press LONDON, Sept. 29.—The British government today instructed Gen. Harrington at Constantinople to demand immediate with- | drawal of Turkish troops from the neutral zone. This official announcement was made following the receipt of information from Gen. Harrington that Kemal had promised to : cease his advance in the zone. Conference Agreed Upon The leader of the Turkish Nationalists, in his communication ! to Gen. Ilarington, also agreed to meet the British commanderinj chief in a conference to be held soon, probably Monday.

COAL BABOAIS MAT BUCK PRICE LAIII Report Says Operator Group Plans to File Injunction Here. An attempt to wreck the Federal Government's program for checking coal profiteering under the new Wins-low-Cummins coal law w.ll be made soon by a small group of operators, according to reports from Washington. An Injunction may be filed in the Federal Court here against the Federal fuel distributor and the interstate commerce commission to prevent them from enforcing the section of the law which gives them a right to deny cars for the shiment of coal sold at exhorbitant pr.ces. Leading Indiana operators denied knowledge of the proposed action. FAN STARTS FIRE Slight Damage Caused at Chain Company Plant. Fire that started from oil near- a high-speed fan on the third floor of the American High Speed Chain Company's plant, South and Illinois Sts., today caused slight damage. Great clouds of black smoke poured from the third-floor windows at the east end of the big building, but firemen soon stopped the flames with chemicals.

INTERESTING SAYINGS AND DOINGS OP CHILDREN Contributed by Times Readers.

I CANT UNDERSTAND MO MAW KNOWS SO MUCH ABOUT OU(? NEW NEIGHBORS tJUST BY WATCHING THE FURNITURE GOING INi Did jour bal,y say or Jo anythin* un- | asual today? Write it on a postcard and send tt to the Baby Mine Editor of The Times. ! ins to be obedient, yielded to the call of appetite by shouting to his playmate's mother: "Oh, Mrs. , my mother gave John a banana yesterday."—E. F. W.

Forecast \ Fair tonight and Saturday. Little change in temperature.

TWO CENTS

j The government’s instructions to j Gen. Harrington followed receipt of information that the Turks were pour- | :ng into the zone in large numbers I and had entirely occupied the area with the exception of a fifteen-mile radius around the town of Ch&nak, actually encompassing the British intrenchments. "Unsatisfactory and Evasive’’ It was unofficially stated that the government had received Kemal's reply to the original ultimatum and regarded it as unsatisfactory and evasive. It was pointed out that Kernel’s promise to cease advancing meant nothing, as it was impossible for his troops to advance further without penetrating the British barbed wire or marching Into the seas. The Government assured Harrington he would have Its complete support in demanding the withdrawal. He was authorized to decide whether to impose a time limit. The British commanders are most patient, it was pointed out, but it was agreed that further encroachments would jeopardize the military position and cannot he allowed to continue. This is the second ultimatum that has been served on Kemal. ABDICATION REPORTED Sultan May Have Given Way to His Cousin, Abdul Medjid. CONSTANTINOPLE, Sept. 29. Reports of the abdication of Mohammed Vey, Sultan of Turkey, in favor of his cousin Prince Abdul Medjid are unconfirmed.

Terms Mary had been frightened by a large dog barking at her while she was walking with her mother. A few evenings ago some friends called at the house, bringing with them a puppy. Like all dogs of that age, he was playful, cute and friendly. Mary, safe in her mother’s lap, gazed at the puppy for a moment as lie stood looking at her, and then said, "Don’t hark, doggie, ’n’ I like you.”—L. D. Anxious My boy was anxious to go to school, so that he could read newspaper comics and the stories in his book. A c lunch he could hardly wait to go back to school. Presently he reflected aloud: "I wonder if I will j be able to read the paper tonight."— ! M. I. w. Tragedy On a search for my daughter who had left home with her dog about two hours before, I found her a half mile away from home crying as if her heart would break. She said, "O, muffer, dear, first I losted my doggie, then I losted me.” —E. H.