Indianapolis Times, Volume 34, Number 8, Indianapolis, Marion County, 21 May 1921 — Page 4

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Juifcma Sato aimrs INDIANAPOLIS, INDIANA, Dally Except Sinday, 25-29 South Meridian Street. . Telephones—Main 3500, New 28-351 MEMBERS OF AUDIT BUREAU OF CIRCULATIONS. m (Chicago, Detroit, St. Louis. G. Logan Payne Cos. Advertising offices (New York, Boston, Payne, Burns & Smith, Inc. THE THIEF who takes an overcoat these days is certainly a pessimist! WILLIE CARET, the city’s best "in and out" artist, is out again while waiting for Judge Collins to decide three pending appeals! SOME CITY FIREMEN appear to be laboring under the delusion that It Is the business of the water company to put out fires for them! IT IS BECOMING more apparent each day that the affairs of the State highway commission were considerably worse than they appeared when Goodrich’s friends sought to ignore honest criticism of L H. Wright's administration! THE BOARD of safety appears to have discovered that there was a fire last Sunday and the evidences of failure to handle it properly were too apparent to be ignored! . A FORMER GOVERNOR of Florida has been indicted on a charge of holding in peonage two negroes for whom ho obtained pardons from penal institutions. Another interesting phase of the pardon and parole question! THE SUGGESTION of Dr. J. N. Hurty that the Egg and Poultry Association employ an inspector of eggs and poultry to work under the direction of the State board of health sounds as if Stanley Wyckoff might have had something to do with it.

The Speedway No one thing in the whole of Indianapolis brings to the community the tar reaching and general advertising of the city that results from the possession of the speedway and the staging of the annual 500-mile race. From the woods of northern Maine to the sands of southern California the interest of the Nation turns toward the great brick oval about this time of the year and Indianapolis appears more frequently in the newspapers and is heard more often in general conversation than the name of any other city. For whether the citizen owns an automobile or not, whether he drives or walks he is always alert to note the progress in transportation that is marked by these speed contests. \ Here the motor world expects to see demonstrated the best Ideas and efforts of the progressive engineers who are striving to develop a phase of science that is still in its infancy. To this race course there is turned, every year, the attention of the engineers who hope to see in the races something that will point the way to the solution of their problems or will ehow them the progress of others in the constant effort to overcome inertia. Added to this scientific interest is the humane interest furnished by the drivers whose skill and courage are so essential to the tests of materials and designs. These men, their faithful mechanicians and resourceful backers are risking much for the great purpose of proving not only materials and designs, but also the ability of men t<3 master mechanical difficulties. That such a demonstration of effort should be staged in Indianapolis each year the promoters of the speedway risked a fortune in an enterprise that brings them returns on only one of the three hundred sixty-five days of the year. To the success of that event all Indianapolis contributes and the contributions are for a worthy cause. Os course there can be but one speedway, but the surest way to keep Indianapolis before the world Is to continue to make a success of the speedway race.

The Working Farmer This is the season of year that a trip to the country is beneficial and refreshing in many ways. Not'only is all nature opening and blooming, but the activity of the farmers even is reassuring. The most conservative person in the world is the American farmer. He is so opposed to change that the State runs Institutes and schools to assist in growth of his work alone, whereas other merchants and citizens, who have better facilities for communication, must learn as best they may. But the farmer works. He does not wait for shorter hours nor for some board to fix his pay. From the nature of his life and work, the tiller of the soil is far from radicalism of all kinds. True, when occasions forced him, he has taken steps which were very novel, but otherwise, .on the whole, the safety of the Nation lays with those who wrest the living food from the earth. His is the faith; his it is to see the fruits of his labors. He knows the results of his toiL **■ The farmer has gone to work. His hours are long; his labors hard, but he is active on his farm. The price of all his products is lower than anything else, relatively, yet he continues his efforts. The Nation is made by those who toll. Even races have been held together by that element for centuries, when changes occurred all about and but little else seemed to operate for stability. The saying of the European statesman, that work will solve the world problems is true, but It must be honest labor, such as the farmers give to their fields. The fallacy of English ideas, to work as little as possible for the money received, is today threatening that. kingdom’s national existence. Hard work built up American resources beyond any country known. And the farmer is the finest example of that today. A peek into the country will show it.

Bathtubs A recent news Item, all too indefinite, says that in 1880 there was one bathtub to each 40.2 people of Massachusetts, while the last census showed one to each 4.4 inhabitants. It did not state what kind of a bathtub nor did it go to the pains of telling how many there were or are here at home. It seems most unfortunate that the Bureau of Census did not give out the information it has gleaned of Indiana also, for this State has produced authors and literary folks and Presidents and such like, equal to the bean eating hub, considering the ages of the two. It may be that bathtubs and literary culture have no direct connection, however. Taking a bath in a Government enumerated tub is not a sign of superiority, such recognized in Indiana. True culture is mental, not physical. This State claims the home of a man who recently insulted a Massachusetts Legislature by declaring that the Nation wanted no more hyphenated citizens —lust desired them all Americans. That was not only sense, but patriotism. Those legislators who now appear to have a bathtub in every family passed resolutions condemning the Indiana man. They would do well to clean themselves physically and politically. The Western idea of a red, or of an unpatriotic citizen, unconsciously associates with it a lack 4 of bathtubs, rather than such a generous supply as Massachusetts has. He usually has no use for one. A half-breed American is considered unclean here even if a few more bathtubs could be used to advantage in the homes of those who denounced hyphenates. If the Government bathtub enumerator will call Saturday night, he will find thit some substitutes are in action and Young America is getting not only physically clean, but is having lessons in patriotism taught him several classes ahead of the Massachusetts Legislature.

Well Done! The passage of an ordinance placing prohibitory restrictions on street fairs and carnivals will evoko no criticism of the city council. Such attractions as these cannot be maintained without more undesirable features than are warranted by the entertainment they afford. \ Indianapolis has plenty of amusement places, established permanently and conducted properly. There is capacity for all and diversity sufficient to satisfy the taste of any part of the community. Just why these permanently operated amusement places should be augmented by traveling aggregations of little responsibility and doubtful ability as entertainers has long been a puzzle. Communities without Heaters or regularly operated amusements might be satisfied with such temporary shows, but in a city the size of Indianapolis they are neither necessary nor desirable. The prohibitive measures adopted have as their basis the protection MtefODerty owners from the annoyances of close proximity Vo these show as high license. They tend to show property owners an on the part of the municipality to protect them in their of the ordinance a thirtg that will be viewed with

The MAN HIGHER UP

_ T TTn\Tnvr Copyright, 1020, by Doubleday, Page I | I—l |~I IV V A Co -. Published by special arrangeuy AAJ/xv AV A meut with the Wheeler Syndicate, Inc.

last week over in the Ramapos?” I knew well how to draw Jeff's stories. ‘•Let me tell you first about these barnacles that clog the wheels of society by poisoning the springs of rectitude with their upas-like eye,” said Jeff, with the pure gleam of the muckraker in his own. “As I said, three months ago I got into bad company. There are two times in a man’s life when he does this—when he’s dead broke, and when he’s rich. "Now and then ’ the most legitimate business runs out of luck. It was out in Arkansas I made the wrong turn at a cross-road, and drives into this town of Pea vine by mistake. It seems I had already assaulted and disfigured Pcavine the spring of the year before. I had sold S6OO worth of young fruit trees there—plums, cherries, peaches and pears. The Peaviners were keeping an eye on the country road and hoping X might pass that way again. I drovn down Main street as far as the Crystal Palace drug store before I realized 1 had committed ambush upon myself and my white horse Bill. "The Peaviners took me by surprise and Bill by the bridle and began a conversation that wasn’t entirely disassociated with the subject of fruit trees. A committee of ’em ran some tracechains through the armholes of my vest, and escorted -me through their gardens and orchards. “Their fruit trees hadn't lived up to their labels. Most of ’em had turned out to be persimmons, and dogwoods, with a grove or two of blackjacks and poplars. The only one that showed any signs of bearing anything was a fine young cottonwood that bad put forth a hornet's nest and half an old corset-cover.

“The Peaviners protracted our fruitless stroll to the edge of town. They took my watch and money on account; and they kept Bill and the wagon as hostages. They' said the first time one of them dogwood trees put forth an Amsden's June peach I might come back and get my things. They then took off the trace-chains and jerked, their thumbs in the direction of the Uoekv Mountains; and I struck a Lewis and Clark lope for the swollen rivers and impenetrable forests. “When I regained tnteilectualncss I found myself walking into an unidentified town on the A.. T. & S K railroad. The Peaviners hadn t left anything in my pocket except a plug of chewing— they wasn't after my life—and that saved it. 1 bit off a chunk and sits down on a pile of ties, by the track to mogitate my sensations of thought and perspicacity. “And then along comes a fast freight which slows up a little at the town, and off of it drops a black hunilethat rolls for twenty yards In a child or dun and then gets up and begins to spit soft coal and interjections I see it is a young man broad across the, dressed’ more for Pullmans than freights, and with a cheerful kind of stuile in spite of it all that made Phoebe Snow Job look like a chimney-sweep s. ’Got o Arrived n STi, vet save I. T got in about five minuates before you did. How does it strike you • ‘Hard,' says he, twisting one of b.s arms around. ‘I believe that shouldern%Ve%VoV.p* ph over to brush the dust off his elothes. when out of his pocket drops a fine, nine inch burglar's steel Jimmy. He picks it up and looks at me sharp, and then grir.s and holds out Ida hand. “‘Brother, says he. greetings. Didn t r see you In southern Missouri last summer selling .olored sand at half a-dollar a teaspoonful to put into lamps to keep the oil from exploding?’ “ ‘Oil.’ savs I, ‘never explodes. It sme gas that forms that explodes. But 1 shakes hands with him, anyway. •‘ ‘My name’s Bill Bassett,’ says ho to me. "and if you’ll call it professional pride Instead of conceit. I ll inform you that you have the pleasure of meeting the best bt rglnr that evpr set a gum-shoe on ground drained by the Mississippi River. “Weil, me and this Bill Bassett sits on the ties and exchanges brags aartists in kindred lines will do. It seen * he didn't have a cen4, either, and we went into close caucus. He explained why an ab'e burglar sometimes had to travel on freights by telling me that a servant girl had played him false in Little Rock, and he was making a qui'-k fet,t ‘ ‘lt's part of my business,” says Bill Bassett, ‘to play up to the ruffles when I want to make a riffle as Raffles. ’Tis loves that makes the bit go “round. Show me a house with the swag in it and pretty parlormaid. and you might as well call the silver melted down and sold, and me spilling truffles and that Chateau stuff on the napkin under my chin, while the police are calling it an inside Job just because the old lady's nephew teaches a Bible class. I first make an impression on the girl,' says Bid, ‘and when she lets me inside I make an impression on the locks. But this one in Little Rock done me.' says he. ‘She saw me taking a trolley ride with another girl, and when I came, ‘round on the night she was to leave tha door open for me it was fast. And 1 liad keys made for the doors upstairs. But, no, sir. She had sure cut off my locks. She was a Delilah,’ says Bill BassetJ. “It seems that Bill tried to break in anyhow with his Jimmy, but the girl emitted a succession of bravura noises like the top-riders of a tally-ho, and Bill , had to take all the hurdles between tuere and the depot. As be had no baggage they tried hard to check his de-

McAdoo*s Views on World Disarmament

Speaking at the mass meeting of the National League of Masonic Clubs, former Secretary of the Treasury W. G. McAdoo, said: Disarmament or bust seems to be the alternative the world is facing today. The excessive taxation which all nations are forced to bear from wars already fought cannot be escaped, but excessive taxation in preparation for future wars that need not bo fought if there Is any intelligent statesmanship left In the world, cannot be excused. Prompt agreement between the leading nations for disarmament would lift a terrible burden from the backs of the common people and rapid Improvement In lb" economic situation would speedily follow. There has never been a time when the world was so sick of war burdens and so willing to limit them as now. The United States can do more than any, other power to bring about a prompt reduction and limitation of armaments. This was one of the great things the League of Nations sought to accomplish but, as the Senate refused to ratify the treaty we must look to some other means of getting the result. Senator Borah's proposal for an agreement between Great Britain and the United States to stop competition in naval armament and to reduce naval expenditures offers a partial remedy. The Borah resolution ought to be adopted and the United States should be glad to take the lead in this sane and humane effort. Here is a chance to demonstrate to the world the sincerity of our professions in favor of world peace and to bring about an annual reduction of several hundred million dollars in our naval expenditures. We should not, of course, pursue a policy of Independent disarmament which would place America at a disadvantage, but no valid objection can be urged to an immediate agreement between the leading powers to reduce tax burdens without imperiling the nation's safety or power of defense. The Christian sentiment of the world demands that prompt measures be taken to stop the criminal waste of money on needless armaments with their cruel exactions of human sweat and toll and misery.

INDIANA DAILY TIMES, SATURDAY, MAY 21, 1921.

(Continned From Page One.)

parture, but he made a train that was just pulling out. -v. “ ‘Well,’ says Bill Bassett, when we had exchanged memoirs of our dead lives, 'I could eat. This town don't look like it was kept under a Yale lock. Suppose we commit some mild atrocity that will bring in temporary expense money. I don’t suppose you’ve brought along any hair „onic or rolled gold watch-chains, or Bimilar law-defying swindles that you could sell on the plaza to the pikers of the paretic populace, have you?” “ ‘No,’ says I, 'I left an elegant line of Patagonian diamond earrings and rainy-day sunbursts In my, valise at Pea vine. But they’re to stay there till some of them black-gum trees begin to glut, the market with ygllow clings and Japanese plums. I reckon we can’t count on them unless we take Luther Burbank in for a partner.’ “ ‘Very well,’ says Bassett, ‘we’ll do the best we can. Maybe after dark I’ll borrow a hairpin from some lady, and open the Farmers and Drovers Marine Bank with it.’

"While we were talking, up pulls a passenger train to the depot near by. A person in a high hat gets off on the w-rong side of the train and comes tripping down the track towards us. He was a little, fat man with a big nose and rat's eyes, but dressed expensive, and carrying a hand-satchel careful, as if it had eggs or railroad bonds in it. lie passes by us and keeps oil down the track, not appearing to notice the town. “ ‘Come on, says Bill Bassett to me, starting after him. “ ‘Where’ I asks. “‘Lordy!’ says Bill, ‘had you forgot you was in the desert? Didn't you see Colonel Manna drop down right before your eyes? Don’t you hear the rustling of General Raven’s wings? I’m surprised at you, Elijah.’ "We overtook the stranger in the edge of somo woods, and, as it was after sundown and in a quiet place, nobody saw us stop him. Bill takes the silk hut off the man’s head and brushes it \\Uii his sieve and puts it back. "‘What does this mean, sir?' says the man. “ ‘When I wore one of these.' says Bill, ‘and felt embarrassed, 1 always done that. Not having one now 1 hail to use yours. I hardly know how to begin, sir, in explaining our business with you, but I guess we'll try your pockets first.' "Bill Bassett- felt in ail of them, anil looked disgusted. “‘Not even a watch,' be says. ‘Ain’t you ashamed of yourself, you white sculpture? Going about dressed like a head waiter, and financed like a count! You haven't even got car fare. What did you do with your transfer? “The man speaks up and says he has no assets or valuables of any sort. But Bassett takes his hand satchel and opens it. Out comes some collars and socks and a haJf a page of a newspaper clipped out. Bill reads the clipping careful, and holds out his hand to tile held-up party. “‘Brother,’ says be. ‘greetings! Accept the apologies of friends. I am Bill Bassett, the burglar. Mr. l’etc>-s. you mwt make the acquaintance of Mr. Alfred E. Ricks. Shake hands. Mr. Peters,’

KEEPING HOUSE WITH THE HOOPERS

fTbe Hoopers, an average American family of five, living in a suburban town, on a limited income, will tell the renders of the Dally Times now the nany present-day problems of the homo are solved by working on the budget that Mrs. Hooper has evolved and found practical. Follow them dally n an interesting review of their home life and learn to meet Ihe conditions of the high cost of living with them.) SATURDAY. For days Roger had been spending bis spare time in the afternoon working on the tea wagon which he had been constructing for his mother's birthday and that had for its foundation the rubber tired wheel* aid body of Betty s old baby carnage that had been reposing in the attic for so long. Mrs. Hooper bad promised btm laughingly to pretend to bo surprised about it when she had given him the old carriage a few weeks before and he had said nothing further about it—even buying whatever was further necessary for its construction, such as bolts and paint, out of the occasional money he earned on Saturdays doing odd Jobs for various

TWELFTH WEEK. MONTHLY STATEMENT FROM MBS. HOOFKB’S ACCOUNT BOOK. Received Henry's salary SSO 00 Paid Week’s Sur- Balance Buuget. • out. balance, plus, to date. Shelter $6.00 Paid carpenter, house $6.00 nothing and furniture Ins. premium $40.00 Paid from surplus of 47.15 / 7.15 7.15 20 00 Moat 5.50 ** Dairy supplies 400 Fish 05 Vegtables & Fruit 3.20 Groceries 2.85 Ice 1.00 Hcnry'a lunch 2.50 Nuts and raisins for party M Out of surplus of 09 nothing nothing V Clothing 7.C0 Mrs. Hooper's petticoat 1.50 Mrs. Hooper’s silk stockings 1.85 Trimming 75 Mr. Hooper's underclothes 2.00 Operating ex.. 9.00 Household supplies 250 Telephone 2.50 Electric light 1.75 • * Water bill 1.75 Stationery and ■tamps 50 First payment on washing machine 50.00 Out of surplus.... M. 15 Advancement.. 3.00 Helen's dariclng lesson 50 Church 25 Newspaper 25 Druggist's supplies 1.00 Theater tickets and expenses to city. 8.50 Or of surplus of 14 05 7.55 8.55 Savings 5.00 > Nothing. 5.00 55.00 60.00 $50.00 $44.00 $6.00 $84.11 —Copyright. 1921.

people. She had no Idea Just how serviceable a piece of furniture he had succeeded in making out of It ‘for her. He and Helen had been delightfully mysterious about it all morning, and she realized that the tea table was to figure very prominently among her birthday gifts on the morrow. After putting the house to rights, which noluded preparing the guest room for Auntie Belle who would spend the night with them she baked a frosted marble cake which with Its lighted candles always marked the feast of the. birthday of every member of the Hooper finally. After luncheon she and Henry hurried into town to select the washing machine and close the negotiations that would install It in their laundry on Monday ready for the washing on Tuesday. They had done so much reading on the subject that they realized that washing machines are like people—none of them perfect—but each one with its own peculiarities and Its own special virtues. It was therefore necessary to really select from among a great number of machines or. the market one that was built for long life and egUffactory service, accordinf to scier.ttfidk .construction ideals of hart.' wear. f

says Bill,"“stands about halfway between me and you, Mr. Ricks, in the line of havoc and corruption. He always gives something for the money he gets. I’m gird to meet you, Mr. Ricks—you and Mr. Peters. This is the first time I ever attended a full gathering of the National Synod of Shars —housebreaking, swindling and financiering all represented. Please examine Mr. Ricks’ credentials, Mr. “The piece of newspaper that Bill Bassett handed me had a good picture of this Ricks on it. It was a Chicago paper, and it had obloquies of Ricks in every paragraph. By reading it over I harvested the intelligence that said alleged Ricks had laid off all that portion of the State of Florida that lies under water into town lots and sold ’em to alleged innocent investors from his magnificently furnished offices in Chicago. After he had taken in a hundred thousand or so dollars one of these fussy purchaseia that are always making trouble (I’ve had ’em actually try gold watches I’ve sold ’em with acid) took a cheap excursion down to the land where it is always just before supper to look at his lot and see if It didn’t need anew paling or two on the fence, and market a few lemons in time for the Christmas present trade. He hires a surveyor to find his lot for him. They run the line out and find the flourishing town of Paradise I ollow, so advertised, to he about 40 rodes and 10 poles S„ 2T degrees E. oi the middle of Lake Okeechobee. This nan's lot was under thirty-six feet of water, and, besides, had been preempted so long by the alligators and gars that his title looked fishy. "Naturally, the man goes back to Chicago and makes it as hot for Alfred E. Ricks as the morning after a prediction of snow by the weather bureau. Ricks defied the allegations, but he couldn’t deny the alligators. One morning the papers came out with a column about it, and Ricks come out by the fire-escape. Tt seems the alleged authorities had beat him to the safe-deposit box where he kept his winnings, and Ricks has to westward ho! with only feetwear and a dozen 15V. English pokes in his shopping bag. He"happened to have some mileage left in his book, and that took him as far as the town in the wilderness where he was spilled out on me and Bill Bassett as Elijah 111, with not a raven in sight for any of us.

“Then this Alfred E. Rieka lets out a squeak that he is hungry, too, and denies the hypothesis that he is good for the value, let alone the price, of a meal. And so, there was the three of us, representing. if we had a mind to draw syllogisms and parabolas, labor and trade and capital. Now, when trade has no capit .1 there isn't a dicker to be made. And when capital has no money there's a stagnation in steak and onions. That put it up to the mail with the jimmy. “ ‘Brother, bushrangers.' says Bill Bassett. ‘never yet. in trouble, did I desert a pal. Hard by, in yon wood. I seem to see unfurnished lodgings. Let us go there and wait till dark.’ “There was an old, deserted cabin in the grove, and we three took possession of it. After dark Bill Bassett tells us to wait, and goes out for half an hour. He comes back with an armful of bread and sparoribs and pies “ ‘Panhandled 'em at/a, farmhouse on Washita avenue,’ says he. ‘Eat, drink and be leary.’ “The full tnoon was coming up bright, so we sat on the floor of the cabin and ute in the light of it. And this Bill Bassett begins to brag “ ‘Sometimes.’ says he, with his moutf full of country produce, T lose all patience with you people that think you

Mrs. Hooper wanted a machine that would not “strike” on wash day—one that would work smoothly without hitches so she was not attracted by several that were shown her that were “showy," but obviously cheap in construction. What she flnatly decided on. was one that had been tested and recommended and would occupy only thirty square Inches of space in the laundry. The structural work was of iron mounted on swivel casters, had a wiinger attached and was of a good work ng height. The motor was safely tucked away under the tub and encased so as to oe splash proof. On the whole it was very good looking, simple and safe to operate and the cost of running it had been estimated aa 2.6 cents an hour when the motor cylinder and wringer were ail going at the same time. This would scarce ly ever happen so that Mrs. Hooper figured that 2 cents an hour would cover the cost of the power that did her washing *■“ "Well, Mary,” said Henry as he paid the deposit of SSO on the machine and agreed to pay the balance of the $175

at the rate of $2 50 a week, "considering what you have been paying a laundress for the last few years this certainly seems like a money-saving proposHlon to m. “It certainly Is, Mr, Hooper,” replied the hardware man as he handed him his receipt. “You can eaßlly pay for this in about a year in Just what you save on a laundress, and as the guaranteed life of the machine Is about fhirty-five years the rest of the time will be velvet. No woman should try to do her washing these days without an electric machine.” The menu for the three meals on Sunday is: BREAKFAST. Baked Apples Cereal Hot Biscuits ‘Spanish Omelet Coffee. DINNER. Fried Chicken Baked Potato Cream Gravy Steamed new Cabbage Orange and Date Salad Marble Cake Ice Cream SUPPER. Deviled Egg Salad Bread and Butter Sandwiches x Banana Layer Cake CooiM. n

are higher up in the profession than. I am. Now, what could either of you haVe done In the present emergency to set us on our feet again? Could you do it, Rickey?’ “‘I must confess, Mr. Bassett,’ says Ricks, speaking nearly inaudible out of a slice of pie, ‘that at this immediate juncture I could not, perhaps, promote an enterprise to relieve toe situation. Large operations, such as I direct, naturally require careful preparation in advance. “ ‘1 know, Ricksy,’ breaks in Bill Bassett. ‘Yon needn’t finish. You need SSOO to make tie first payment on a bjond typewriter, and four roomsful of quar- j tered oak furniture. And you need ssoo' more for advertising contracts. And you need two weeks’ time for the fish to begin to bite. Your line of relief would be about as useful In an emergency as advocating municipal ownership to cure a man suffocated by 80-eent gas. And your graft ain’t much swifter, Brother Peters,’ he winds up. “ ‘Oh,’ says I, ‘I haven’t seen you turn anything Into gold with your wand yet. Mr. Good Fairy. ’Most anybody could rub the magic ring for a little left-over victuals.’ “ ‘That was only getting the pumpkin ready,’ says Bassett, braggy and cheerful. ‘The coach and six’ll drive up to the door before you know it. Miss Cinderella. Maybe you’ve got some scheme under your your sleeve-holders that will give us a start.’ “ ‘Son,’ says I, ‘l’m fifteen years olaer than you are, and young enough yet to take out an endowment policy. I’ve been broke before. We can see the lights of that town not half a mile away. I learned under Montague Silver, the greatest street man that ever spoke from a wagon. There are hundreds of men walking those streets this moment with grease spots on their clothes. Give me a gasoline lamp, a dry goods box and a two-dollar bar of castile soap, cut into little ’ " ‘Where’s your two dollars?’ snickered Bill Bassett into my discourse. There was no use arguing with that burglar. “‘No,’ he goes on; ‘you’re both babesin tlie-wood. Finance has closed the mahognny desk, and trade has put the shutters up. Both of you look to lao°J to start the wheels going. Ail right. You admit it. Tonight I’ll show you what Bill Bassett can do.’ “Bassett tells me and Ricks not to leave the cabin till he comes back, even if it’s daylight, and then he starts off toward town, whistling gay. “This Alfred E. Ricks pulls off his shoes and his coat, lays a silk handkerchief over his hat, and lays down on the floor.

•• ‘I think I will endeavor to secure a little slumber,’ he squeaks. ‘The day has been fatiguing. Goodnight, my dear Mr. Peters.’ “ ‘My regards to Morpheus, says I. I think I'll sit up a while.’ “About 2 o’clock, as near as I could gness by my watch In Pcavine, home comes our laboring man and kicks up Ricks, and calls us to the streak of bright moonlight shining In the cabin door. Then he spreads out five packages of SI,OOO each on the floor, and begins to cackle over the nest-egg like a hen. Til teil you a few things about that town,' says he. ‘lt's named Rocky Springs., and they're building a Masonic temple, and it looks like the Democratic candidate for mayor is going to get soaked by a Pop, and Judge Tucker's wife, who has been down with pleurisy, is some better. I had a talk on these iilliputian thesises before I could get a siphon in the fountain of knowledge that I was after. And there's a bank there ; ailed the Lumberman's Fidelity and Plowman s Savings Institution, it closed for business yesterday with $23,000 cash on hand. It will open this morning with jtK.ooo nil silver —that's the reason I didn't bring more. There you are. trade and capital. Now, will yon be bad?” “‘Mv young friend.’ says Alfred E. Ricks,' holding up his hands, 'have you robbed this bank? Dear me, dear me'.’ “‘You eoldn't call it that,’ says Bassett. ' ‘‘Robbing’ sonnda harsh. All 1 had to do was to find out what street it was on. That town is so quiet that I could stand on the corner and hear the tumblers clicking in that safe lock — “right to 45; left to 80; right once to 60; left to 15“—as plain as the Ya'.e captain giving orders in the football dialect. ‘Now, boys, - says Bassett, ‘this is an early rising town. They tell me the citizens are all up and stirring before daylight. I asked what for. and they said because breakfast was ready at that time. And what of merry Robin Hood? It must be Yoieks! and away with the tinkers’ chorus. “I'll stake you. How much do you want? Speak up. Capital.' “‘My dear young friend," says this ground squirrel of a Kicks, standing on his hind legs and Juggling nuts in his paws. ‘I have friends in Denver who would nssist me. If I had a hundred dollars I——’

"Bassett unpins a package of the ctirneney and throws five twenties to Ricks. ‘‘‘Trade, how much'/* he says to me. “ ‘Put your money up. Labor.' says I. ‘1 never yet drew upon honest toll for its hnrd o&rned pittance. The dollars I get are surplus ones that are burning the pockets of dainfools and greenhorns. Wheu 1 stand on a street corner and sell a solid gold diamond ring to a yap for $3. I make just $2.60. And I know ha's going to give it to a girl in return for all the benfits accruing from n $125 ring. His profits are $122. Which of us is the biggest fakir?’ “‘And whert you sell a poor woman a pinch of sand for 50 cents to keep her lamp from exploding.' says Bassett, ■what do you figure her gross earnings to he. with sand at 40 cents a ton?' “ ‘Listen.' says I. ‘1 instruct her to keep her lamp clean and well filled. If she does that it can't burst. And with the sand in It she knows it can't, and she won’t worry. It's a kind of Industrial Christian Science. She pays 50 cents and gets both Rockefeller and Mrs. Eddy on the Job. It ain't everybody that can let the gold-dust twins do their work.’ “Alfred E. Ricks all but licks the dust off of Bill Bassett's shoes. “ ‘My dear young friend,' says he. 1 will never forger-, your generosity. Heaven will reward you. But let me Implore you to turn from your ways of violence and crime.’ “‘Motisie,’ says Bill, ‘the hole in the wainscoting for yours. Your dogmas and lneulcutlons sound to me like the last words of a bicycle pump. What has ybur high moral, elevator-service system of pillage brought yon to? Penuriousness and want. Evep Brother Peters, who Insists upon contaminating the. art of robberv with theories of com-

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merce and trade, admitted he was on the lift. Both of you live bv the gilded rule. Brother Peters,’ say Bill, 'you'd better choose a slice of this embalmed currency. You’re welcome.’ “I told Bill Bassett once more to put his money In his pocket. I never had the respect for burglary that some people have. I always gave something for the money I took, even if it was only some littie trifle for a souvenir to remind ’em not to get caught again. “And then Alfred E. Ricks grovels at Bill’s feet again, and bids us adieu. He says hfe will have a team at a farmhouse, and drive to the station below, and take the train for Denver. It salubrified the atmosphere when that lamentable boll-worm took his departure. He was a disgrace to every non-indus-trial profession in the country. With all his big schemes and fine offices he had wound up unable even to get an honest meal except by the kindness of a strange and maybe unscrupulous burglar. I was glad to see him go, though I felt a little sorry for him, now that he was ruined forever. What could such a man do without a big capital to work w-ith? Why, Alfred E. Ricks, as we left him, was as helpless as a turtle on its back. He couldn’t have worked a scheme to beat a little girl out of a penny slatepeneil. “When me and Bill Bassett was left alone I did a little sleight-of-mind turn In my head with a trade secret at the end of it. Thinks I, I’ll show this Mr. Burglar. Man the difference between business and labor. He had hurt some of my professional self-adulation by casting his Persians upon commerce and trade. “ ’I won't take any of your money as a gift, Mr. Bassett,’ says I to him, ‘but if you’ll pay my expenses as a traveling companion until we get out of tho danger zone of the immoral deficit you have caused in this town’s finances tonight, 1 11 be obliged.’ “Bill Bassett agreed to that, and we hiked westward as soon as we could catch a safe train. “When we got to a town in Arizona called Los Perros I suggested that we once njore try our luck on terra-cotta. That was the home of Montague Sf! - ver, my old instructor, now retired from business. I knew Monty would stake me to web money If I could show him a fly buzzing round in the locality. Bill Bassett said all towns looked alike to him as he worked mainly in the dark. So we got off the train in Los Perros, a fine little town in the silver region. “I had an elegant little sure thing in the way of a commercial slungshot that I Intended to hit Bassett behind the ear with. I wasn't going to take bis money while he was asleep, but I was going to leave him with a lottery ticket that would represent in experience to him $4,755—1 think that was the amount he had when we got off the train. But the first time I hinted to him about an investment, he turns on me and disencumbers himself of the following terms and expressions; “ ‘Brother Peters,’ says he, ‘it ain't a bad idea to go into an enterprise of some kind, as you suggest. 1 think 1 will. But if I do it will be such a cold proposition that nobody but Robert E. Peary and Charlie Fairbanks will be able to sit on the board of directors.' “‘I thought you might want to turn your money over,’ says I. “‘I do,’ says he, “frequently. I can't sleep on one side all night. I'll tell you. Brother Feters,’ says he, ‘l’m going to start a poker room. I don't seem to care for the humdrum in swindling, such as peddling egg-beaters and working off breakfast food on Barj nutn and Bailey for sawdust to strew I in their circus rings. But the gami bllng business,' says he, ‘from the prof- : [table Side of the talde in a good com--1 promise between swiping silver spoons and selling penwipers at a Waldorf-As-toria charity bazar.’ “‘Then.’ says I , ‘Mr. Bassett, you don't care to talk over my little business proposition ?’ “‘Why,’ savs he, ‘do you know, you cant get a Pasteur Institute to start up within fifty miles of where I live. 1 ; bite so seldom.' % "So. Bassett rents a room over a saloon and looks around for some furniture i a nd chromes. The same night I went j to Montv Silver's house, and he let me have $260 on my prospects. Then I went to the only store in Los Perros ; that sold playing cards and thought every

Save Money on Your Laundry You save money when you save labor, j This is true whether you do your own ; work or have it done. You should tberei fore have expert advice ou the urrangeI ment of your work. | You save money if you save your clothes from injury—from hardening, j from fading, from shrinking. Be sure to use the right kind of soap, the right kind of lye, the proper washing powder. You should know how to use a little soda when yon put your clothes to soak, and a little turpentl e when ;hey sre vellow. The Department of Agriculture has made an exhaustive study of all these problems of the laundry. It has prepared a bulletin that is now ready tor tree distribution. Our Washington Information Bureau will get a copy for you if veu send in your name and address with 2 rents in stamps for return postage.

Frederic ,T. Haskin. Director. Tlie Indiana Daily Times Information Bureau, Washington, I). ©. I enclose herewith 2 cents ifc stamps for return postage on a free copy ts the Lauudry Book. Name *••*■?.•* Street *•••••• City v ... - State

deck In the house. The next morning when the store opened I wes there bringing all the cards back with me. I said that my partner that was going to back me in the game had changed fits mind; and I wanted to sell the cards back again..* The storekeeper took ’era at half price. “Yes, I was seventy-five dollars loser np to that time. But while I had the cards, that night I marked every one in every deck. That was labor. And then trade and commerce had their Innings, and the bread I had cast upon the waters began to come back in the form of cottage pudding with wine sauce. “Os course, I was among the first to buy chips at Bill Bassett's game. He had bought' the only cards there wag to be had in towil; and I knew the back of every one of them better than I know the back of my head when the barber shows me my haircut in the two mirrors. “When the game closed I had the five thousand and a few odd dollars, and all Bill Bassett had was the wanderlust and a black cat he had bought for a mascot. Bill shook hands with me when I left. “ ‘Brother Peters,’ says he, ‘I have no business being in business. I was preordained to labor. When a No. 1 burglar tries to make a James out of his Jimmy he perpetrates an lmprofundity. You have a well-oiled and efficacious system of luck at cards,’ says he. ‘Peace go with you.’ And I never afterward sees Bill Bassett again.” v, • • • • • “Well, Jeff,” said I, when the Antolycan adventurer seemed to have divulged the gist of his tale, “I hope you took care of the money. That would be a respecta—that is a considerable working capital If you should choose some day to settle down to some sort of regular business.” “Me?" said Jeff, virtuously. “You can bet I’ve taken care of that five thousand.” He tapped his coat over the region of his chest exultantly. “Gold mining stock,” he explained, "every cent of it Shares par value $L Bound to go up 500 per cent within a year. Non-assessable. The Blue Gopher Mine. Just discovered a month ago. Better get in yourself if you've any spare dollars on hand.” “Sometimes,” said I, “these mines are not ” “Oh, this one’s Bolld as an old goose,” said Jeff. “Fifty thousand dollars* worth of ore in sight, and 10 per cent monthly earnings guaranteed.” He drew a long envelope from his pocket and cast it on the table. ' “Always carry It with me,” said he. “So the burglar can't corrupt or the capitalist break in and water it.” “I looked at the beautifully engraved certificate of stock. “In Colorado, I see,” said L “And, by the way, Jeff, what was the name of the little man who went to Denver—the one you and Bill met at the station?” “Alfred E. Ricks,” said Jeff, “was ths ! toad’s -designation.” “I see," Baid I, “the president of this j mining company signs himself A. L. ! Fredericks. I was wondering ” “Let me see that stock.” said Jeff quickly, almost snatching it from me. To mitigate, even though slightly, thg i embarrassment I summoned the waiter ; and ordered another bottle of the Barj bera. I thought it was the least I could ! do.

QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS

(Anj| reader can get the answer to anv question by writing THE INDIANA DAILY TIMES INFORMATION BUREAU, FREDERIC J. HASKIN, DIRECTOR, WASHINGTON, D. C. This offer applies strictly to informs-* tion. The bureau cannot give advice ou legal, medical and financial matters. It does not attempt to settle domestic troubles, nor to undertake exhaustive research on any subject Write your questions plainly tnd briefly. Give full name and address and enclose 2 cents In stamps for return postage. Ail replies are sent direct to the. inquirer.) COLONEL HARVEY’S FULL NAME. Q. Has Col. George Harvey a middle name? G. B. A. Colonel Harvey’s full name Is George Brlnton McClellan Harvey. FAST AND SLOW CABLES. Q. What Is the difference between a regular cable and a delayed cable? "V. F. C. A. The difference lies In the time required for transmission and the rate per word. For instance, between Washington, D. C. and Baris, France, the rate for a straight cable message is 28 cents a word, and the time is about five hours ; while the rate for a delayed cable is 14 cents a word and the message will be received in Paris either on the day that the cable is given to the cable company or upon the day following. STONES THAT WILL CUT. Q. Is there any stone, besides a diamond. which will cut glass? A. J. D. A. There are a great many stones that will cut glass. Among them are topaz, beryl, corundum, chronite, garnet and quartz. BUYING COAL IN SUMMER. Q. How long has buying coal in summer for winter use been advocated? J. L. C. A. Various cities and coal distributors have preached this doctrine for many years and there Is a record showing that Stephen Girard, who died in 1131, left a fund to provide fuel for the needy in Philadelphia, and instructed bla executors to buy during the summer months, when the price was lowest, and distribute the fuel in January. LAKE DISTRICT SCHOOL. Q. Where is the lake district? M. H. A. This is a picturesque region of mountain, lake, wood and valley in Cumberland and Westmoreland Conntles, England. It has been made famous by the Lake School of Poets, and is visited annually by thousands of tourists.