Indiana Palladium, Volume 8, Number 23, Lawrenceburg, Dearborn County, 23 June 1832 — Page 4

MISCEIiliAWY.

From the New-York Albion. The Soliloquy of a Bachelor,. BSISO JILTED BT HIS FAITHLESS MELIJTDA. tleigh ho! may the d t confound me if ever Hereafter to love r be lovM I endeavoi ; 1 hare made three attempts at this thing they call marriag-e. And in each hare eacoutiter'd a deuced miscarriage This last suack, might properly make me splene lie! And my feelings, I own, are not wholly pathetic, Whe:i ! think of the close of my favVite adventure. Which IM hopM, would result in a wedding Indenture I'm dishk'd! and the thought my tranquility . ravage. The girls one and all must be turning to aavaFor, surely although. I may not be a true sage, I mujvit justly have looked for more christianize usage Ta be we?comiand frnil'd oa 'midst oceans of flatt'ry, Hy her against whom I had planted love's bat-tVy;

Ti be told in the fondest of terms, she regard- '

JVjf bliss as her bliss and to be then discarded!

Ye powVi! what a blow! could the merciless

hatchet Of the Geccest of Indians in cruelty match it?

Vd as well try to pull down the stars from the

sky, Or up to their orbits without pinions to fly;

Vd an well try to number the drops of the

teem,

Or to cairn the iJge waves when m stormy

commotion : In short I'd as well try to unbar the gates Of Eternity's f3hric, and conquer the Fates As to try to obtain that fam'd blessing of life

mat aeaT'rtiy possession on earta call a a

wife I mean by a wife a beautiful woman, EnrichM with a cxlad thai above what is com mon ; With a heart that in gent'est affection can melti And a face that can show when affection is felt; Who will modestly blush when her praises are namM, And weep without anger whenever she's biam'd Such a consort as Chi would, methinks, give a relish To life, and its whole cange of scenery embellish.

Cut ftls ever with me I must shift as I canThough I caaH be & Am J and V 11 yet, be a mem: I'll not weep nor gxj mad aar become melaacholy Nor plunge, as some lads would, ia all sorts of folly But 1-U think upon fortitude ral'ying merits Will eat drink and sleep, and wltat's bestkeep mg spirits .

Amplified by Moore VSflio will blush whea she's praised, and weep when she's blanVd."

Frank Vandcrliacken was one of those discontented mortals, v.ho arc eternally endeavoring to wear out the patience of our good lady, "Dame Fortune,'" with his complaints. His crop never grew to his iihing; the season was always too wet or too dry, too warm or too cold. The prioe of grain was always too low, and that of groceries too high, for the plain reason that he sold the former and lad to buy the htter because madam and the young ladies loved to set a smart tea-table ; and Frank, hirnsel f, was no very decided enemy to good living. But things went wrong and he was not a happy man. His neighbors used to call him a. c&sllcbuilding sort of a fellow, and said all his troubles arose from his dreaming he was a very great man every night, and waking up plain Farmer Frank in the morning. But Jiowcvcr this may have been, his affairs be

came in time, somewhat deranged, in consequence of inattention to business, which grew out of his perpetual repining. A heavy heart never drives business speedily, snd misfortunes, some times comes in earnest to those who take so much pains to persuade themselves they are unfortunate. Thus were aflaira situated, when Frank, who, from being discontented with his- own situation, had become envious of that of every ono else. After a long walk over his farm, at this time loaded with the promise of a rich harvest, he returned home, and throwing himself on a sofa, fell into a profound sleep. Directly, a. tall, noble looking figure, wrapped up in a large cloak, stood by his sitiey and accosted him, with, "come Frank, my name is Fortune, go with me. I have long heard thy complaints, and I propose holding a fair to-day, by attending which, thou inayest possibly better thv hard lot." ' lie arose immediately and putting on his l

nat accompanied his mysterious guide. Presently he found himself in an extensive plain, crowded with a great number of persons belonging to aU the diflercnt professions in the country. Here, said Fortune, pointing to the great assemblage, here are many thousands of good men, either of whom will exchange situations with you, even handed, at my command. You may now, therefore, take your own choice. Frank thanked his irood friend Ins eves

sparkled with pleasure, as the crowd began to pass, ono after another before him and he could h:vrdly contain his joy, as his eyes rested on the portly form of a rich neighbor ofhtSjWho was one of the first to approach him, and whose long purso he had often envied. Tint is the man if you please, said Frank. At tho back of his companion, old Mortgage stood by his side, and very comp'aisaatly began to deliver up his deeds, and bonds, and obligations and having done so, Frank was ahout to run homo with the rrlaJ wcws, and get ready to put the old mail in fwsession of his &a, when Mortfe lifted ffp his gouty kg and Fortune called-

stay Frank, this goes with the rest the

bargain is, situation iot situation, and the gouty foot goes with neighbor Mortgage's estate. Frank was thunderstruck. He started fora moment, and then threw down his bundle of papers as a man would a hot dumpling. I would not have the gout for all the dalej said Frank. The next personage that arrested Frank's attention, was a wealthy shipping merchant of the city. He was again in raptures, and bent on the exchange. The merchant began to deliver iziventories of his property and amongst the 'rest those of the cargoes of five vessels at sea. These last constituted a main part of the clear estate and Frank never knew the anxiety that follows the possession of such property till now. He remembered the great storm but a few dajs before and had heard of the wreck of some vessels on the shore he hesitated he trembled he turned to go but he felt that he sliould be forever unhappy and he once more declared himself to be dissatisfied, and that as yet he had not found one whose situation was better than his; Then a dashing young fellow, who owned by far the largest richest, and most elegant

farm in all Annandalc, presented himself

and Irank was sure of being pleased He

had often wished for Jehu's line horses and

curricle, and thought, to be a farmer after that sort, would he worth living for. But when the young buck came to deliver up the title deed, a bond and mortgage with interest unpaid for half a dozen years, was inclosed in it, enough to swallow two thirds of the estate, and horses and curricle in the bargain. Frank drew back. No, sir, says he, the Dairy is clear of debt, and do'nt

slip through my hands in this way.

Thus it turned out with some hundreds

of others who were presented as candidates

for a change of situation with rrank.

Though those were taken promiscuously from among the rich and poor farmers,

merchants, mechanics, professional men,

Sec. Some were encumbered with debts,

others with disease that belonged to their

necessary modes of life. Some had one trouble, some another difficulty and

Frank, in the end, was thoroughly convin

ced he never would be able to better his

situation, on the whole, by an exchange, expressed to his kind guide his perfect satisfaction with his own condition.

"Take this home with you," said Fortune, "none are perfectly happy in ih'w

world lew comparatively so. "In every situation, there are difficulties to be encountered and he is the happiest man, who is determined to be iiappy with what he has, instead cf troubling his head about that which he has not. You can see hut the out side of others you know nothing of the secret troubles which perplex their bosoms-try to be happy, and ou will be as happy as your neighbors."

Frank awakened from his sleep just as Fortune finished his speech and has ever

! From the N. Y. Courier and Enq.

Vaumouat, AniEL 25, ateex 100 and 32. Deer MistherKurryer and Inkwerer, I ges iph you look pritty sharp ule find in this letter a two-dolerKimikle bill, which i want u tu give tu Dckter Phostcr, tu help him, hetchel oald Deekon Huntinton, for taken up hiz wife kaize she was ridin on a Sabbarday. I kno a good minny ov these oald square toed stiff rumps. I've got an evertastin gruge agin some ov cm thcy'l du inny thing under heaven the minister tells em. Iph hesizthe hoy thcy'l no Dokter Phoster. Won uv um tride tu kut up hiz shines with me wonse, but I waz a leetle tu wide awaik for him. Whin I go to Yawk I hiv to go smack thru Konnettykut so won Sabbarday i was ridin thru Infield, as still as a kat krawls after a mouse un just az i cot rite aginst the meetin house out popt oald Deekon Parsons, with a s-a-m book in one hand and a tarnal big kane in the tother. Hello! siz he, yew wikkid kritter don't you kno its Sabbarday? So I put on a pritty middlin kind of a long fase, and" told him I was goin to see my ant Nabby who'd marryd Deekon Amariah Bige-low. Wall siz he, Deekon Bige-low or Deekon Bigcl-high, u kan't go no furder not'll arter sundown, kaise ime Deekon, un squire i'm selekt man and keep that tav-

vern, un you must go rite strato thare and stay awl, day; you kan get good intertancment fur man un beest. I told him I waz plagy glad on't for I was pritty darn'd nir half starved un so wus the oald mare and the only reisin I was ridin Sabbarday waz, kaize Ihad'nt got a single hooter ov munny but seein he was so good I didn't kare if 1 stade awl nitc sos tu let the oald mare git kinder filled up, iph lie had good hay and otes. told a most darnashun, awl fired lye kaize I had mv trowsers pocket, stuck chuck full

of ArnuVs Kimikles.) By the lord harry if

he did'nt roal up hiz lze like a duk in a

a thunder storm. hat siz he you haint j?ot no munny. Hch! how dare vou tra

vel a Sabbarday when you haint got no munny to pay the fine we dont allow no body that haint got no munny to travel thrue this toun not by no means not a Sabbarday so you had better be joggin along but don't stop tu my house so I started and when I got a little out of his reach, I shook a roll of

kimikles at him. Then siz I, what du you think ov that oald snapstrings! He throw?d his big kain arter me, un hollor'd O! yew wikked varmount, iph I cou'd citch yew i'de shake ycr gizzerd out. I laid the string on to the oald mairc un that's the last I ever see of Deekon Parsons. Noty'beeny I don't never go thrue Hartford sinsc they had the grate Konvenshun, last war time. I think it kinder smells had. Ye Tver loovin frind till dith. JOE STRICKLAND.

Cowlnding by Yr0TV- negro on a plantation inthcYest Indies having misbehaved, was sent by his master to the overseer with a note, in which the htter was directed to bestow upon the delinquent divers and sundry stripes. Now Sambo had been sent upon such errands before, and keen were his pangs at being again delegated upon such unpleasant duty. He surveyed the note with a rueful visage, and meditated how he should escape the seemingly unavoidable penalty. At length a thought struck him: meeting a brother Abyssinian, he feigned sudden a severe illness; "Brodder Jacko," he said, "me got mazin pain in 'tomac; prease han dis letter to cherseor, and take a sick brodder's bressing." The sympathetic Jacko complied with the pretended sufferer's request, and to his amazement was fordnvith "posted," and received a tremendous whipping at the hand cf the overseer a poor rcquittal, he thought, for doing a brother a favor. Sambo was in ecstacies at the success of his stratagem. He soon got rid of his pain, and could never see his friend Jacko, afterwards, without an inward chuckle at the ingenuity of the trick he played off upon him.

Rallicr Tovgli. The He rimer American siys that during the late freshet in that vicinity, an acre and a half of corn stubble

rose from the surface, passed over the odjoing farm and quietly settled down in the next, without disturbing a single corn hill. We have read of four story brick houses moving while the family were at dinner, and have heard of removing wells from one yard into another, but this goes a little ahead of any thing that has fallen under mir observation. It places the owner of the prem"-

ces, on which tho stray field squatted, so unceremoniously, much in the predicament of Paddy who had a swate farm in Ireland, only there was another man's top of it. Newark Daily,

since been a changed man. i here is not, at this day, a more merry fellow in all Annandalc.

Otb-dilsfrom Washington. Rumor states that the boarders at Gadsby's were alarmed on Friday night, by a terrible out-cry in one of the chambers, occupied by the members of the juvenile convention. On proceeding to the spot, they found a promising young politician standing in the middle of the room, wringing his hands, and vociferating most lustily for his mammy. It seems the poor little thing had waked up in the n:ght, and finding itself alone in a dark room, was almost frightened out of its wits. Mr. Gadsby, with his usual amenity, gave the little child a handful of sugar plums, and placed a careful old black nurse in the room to sing "Hush a bye Baby" to it. Whereupon it ate itself to sleep, and was sufliciezilly recovered to make a speech the next day in the convention. It is also whispered in the fashionable circles that a distinguished member of this

promising body, burnt himself so seriously last evening, by snuffing a candle with his fingers, that his life is despaired of, and nothing but the presence of his nurse will pacify him An express has been dispatched

for the old lady, and all the little children of the metropolis were brought by dieir mammies and nurses to condole with the unfortunate sufferer, who it appears never knew that fire was hot until now. Every body at Wasliington cries shame on the parents and guardians of these little folks, for thus permitting them to go from home, without somebody to take care of them. The poor Little son with the burnt finger does nothing but cry all the day, though the ladies Orphan Asylum, pay it great attention, and a benevolent matron sits by its side all day,, singing

songs from mother Goose's melodies. It is affirmed that the only one of these which appears to sooth him in the least is 'IJarry shall hare a fine hobby. And Harry shall ride to the fair? And Harry shall have a red riban l To tie up his bonny brown hair.' It is said that the "Juvenile delinquents begin to be so home sick, that it will be impossible to keep tliem together much longer, especially as milk begins to grow scarce in die District, and several have been obliged to go to bed without their siqvper in consequence. They will probably adjourn soon, sine die to the nursery. New York Courier.

; S tantve ku i Eiv A New TEi??r. An eastern paper gives place to an entire new term, which is rapidly growing into use. It is taken, not like our language, from the ancients, but from tho late Houston afinir at Washington. This is the rule authorizing its use. "A man who aires an insult, but refuses an explanation until after he has been trounced, is said to be uStani?i:j-

ried.

Col Sentinel

Wool CartlisEg. THE subscriber wishes to inform the public that he has leased fir the term of 6 years, the we' I known stand of Robert .Mot' a I, decM. four miles above Harrison, at which he is start inK 4 CARDING X&ACKXNSS of the very first quality, which will be in com plete operation by the first day of May next. The reat variety of machinery employed wil 1 enable him to card any quality of wool and do it ampte justice. From his long experience and close application to business, he ft Uers himself that tie will merit and receive a liberal share of public patronage. Wool rr ust be well picked and free from burs and sticks, and one pound of grease added to every eight of wool. He will card for 4 cents per pound, or as low as any other machine in the vicinity. Product? taken in payment at a fair price. A'l work left with him will be attended to with grea, despatch. In addition' to the carding1 work.U he has a grist mill, at which he will b-? able at ail times to grind for customers and others. KM SKWELK. Ingan toiansfiip.. Dearborn to , .j. .Ipril 21.

c-v.

Editors Difficulties. Next to poverty, delinquent subscribers, and duns, to which most editors are subject, the greatest difficulty is to please the public. For so great is the variety of public taste and feeling, that had tho conductor of a periodical paper as many heads and as many pens, as his paper has readers, he could never hope to please all; for they cannot please themselves. Docs he speak out in language plain and simple 1 it is mere common place ; the taste of the learned is not gratified; it is fit only for the vulgar. Docs lie aspire to elegance, the unlearned cannot understand ; and the learned regard him as a pedantic fellow, dabbling in what he had no pretentions to. Docs he show his colors and boldly contend for his ground? he is too severe. If he hides himself beneath a

mass of equivocal matter, he is temporising. If he publishes extracts better than he can write, he has no talents of his own to display; and if ho fills his paper with original matter, he might have given something better from the works of others. If he attempts to philosophize, it is dull and uninteresting; and if he writes on plain and familiar subjects, every body knew them

needs to be instructed. Does he use his vliiiW

endeavor to amuse; it is light and trifling. received from Philadelphia a grn;ra

People generally are fond of being praised,

ILriwreiscefoisrsr. to Uincictaiati. MlMU'i new and spsc'mt's United States Mail ii- Coach. "SjR 3VI PATCH," he most splendid vehicle ot the kind in the west, has commenced running o: the line from Lawrenceburgh, via JJardinsburgh, Klizabethtown, Cleves, Cuiviot, to Cincintiati. Leave Lav renceburgh every Monday, Wednesday and Friday morning, at 6 o'clock, and arrive at Cincinnati by noon each da)'. Leave Cincinnati every Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday morning, at 6 o'clock, and arrive at Lawrenctburgh by noon each day. The above lii.e will connect with the .follourinsf routes, viz : the Indianapolis mail stage line on the same days, tri-weekly, connecting the ln!e line from the East to the West, ria TerreHatite to .St. Louis, Mo. &c. &C. The undersigned keeps horses to hire, 8c will be ready at all times to convey passengers and families in priva'.e hacks to any place desired within the viciniiy or adjoining counties. The fare in all cases will be moderate. Baggage at the risk of the owner. For spats, app'y to J. W. HrxTETt, post and stage office, Law renceburgh; and atScudder Hotel, main street, Cincinnati. JOHN D. CUMMINS, March 2-!, 1S32. 10-tf Proprietor. JLazrrcnccburgh rJ'HK subscriber takes this method to inform the public in general that he has established the chair making business, on High street, opposite the market house, where he will keep constantly on hand a large and splendid assortment of

AND XhuIsor C HAIR s, Settees, &c.

Which be Warrants for durability and workmanship, equal to any in the western country; which tie will dispose of, on reasonable terms. Persons wishing to purchase, will please call and judge for themselves. WM. N. ROGERS. Feb. 11, 1831. To the Public. rrniin undersigned have just received from -J- New Orleans, Philadelphia and Pittsburgh, a Urge and general assortment of

TIU3T received from Philadelphia, a go, d as Hi sortnierit of BOOKS, consisting, in part, of PAfe'ZLY BIBLES, (niFFKin-rxT srzr.s.) WATTS, and METJIODIST Sly mi ISoOaaS, TESTAMENTS, ENGLISH HEADERS, GEOG?,A?HY2, And a variety of

NOVELS, And for sale by

JOHN P. DUNN. March 17th, 1832. 9-

Which they are now opening, and offer for sale on ve ry reasonable terms, consisting, in part, of TEAS best quality; Imjwried and Domestic Liquors; Apices; Wiiailoiv-Glass, All shea; NAILS, icell assorted; Iron; Hugtzr; CoFee; IVIilCJKSIiSL, XIASIMS, And many other articles. All of which will be so d at Jl'hoUsa'e or Retail, at their H&use ia Lawienceburgh, opposite the store Of Enoch 1) . John. THOMAS SHAW, ISAAC PHOTZM AN. March C9ih, 1332. 11-tf

DEAJUjOJIN CIRCUIT COURT, DKAKIiOHN COUNTY,

Elizabeth Dean vs James Dean

MODERN DICTIONARY. .Tail. A large building where gentlemen go to pay their debts. EorroR. A poor wretch who every day empties his brain to fill his stomach. Gallows. Where gentlemen sometimes stretch their necks. Death. An ill bred fellow who visits people at all seasons, and insists upon their returning his visits immediately. Juitv. Twelve prisoners in a bo.x to try one at thx.1 bar. N. Y. Mirror.

and one would suppose this might satistv

them, but let an editor try the experiment, and he will find out his mistake. For such is the power of envy, that no one will thank him for praising him, and every body will hate him for praising others. Most people are fond of hearing their neighbors slandered: but if you attempt to point out either the vices and follies of mankind, every one will find something applicable to himself; and here again you encounter the whole mass. Every person can tell vou how to

conduct a paper to please him; and of

course to ofi'end every one else. Ihese being stubborn facts, there is no alternative but for an editor to please himself if he can and hazard the consequences. If he does this he will be certain of satisfying one, which is more tlian he can sav if he tries to plcasa all.

vehicle and

injuring its con-

A countryman happened to be driving his team on the margin of tho Carolina Rail Road, just as the Engine, with the Cars attached, passed by with great rapidity. Motion by steam never having entered into the head of the wagoner, he stood

aghast at tho sight, while his frightened

horses ran off, breaking the

scattering and otherwise

tents. When his senses returned, the poor fellow set eff in pursuit of his horses and property but the damage was so considerable that he was fain to resort to a svbscription to indemnify his loss. The Contributors, we are happy to learn, were liberal,

but one more inquisitive than the rest, asked "why ho did not hold onto his horses?"

"Hold on!"' slid Hodge, "how the devil could ycu expect me to hold on, when I saw Hell in harness coming down upon me V' A vguzta Cojistitutionalkt.

9J assortment of

Groceries, Izarilivare, SHOES, HATS, A;c. Jlho, from Pittsburgh, an assortment of which will be offered (at ihe old stand of George Tousey,) on accommodating terms, by TOUSEV & Dl'XN. March 29, 1832. 11-tf subscriber has Ivmir near the whrf on 'C Short Street, a lot of P.iriXG Sl'OXE which he otfcis fur sale on accommodating tei mi. ISAAC SPENCER. May 19, 1F32. 13 RECEIVES, per Steam Boat Arab, TOO rounds Loaf Sugar:

Set.

On petition for Divorie.

TVJOW comes F.hzaMh. Ieam byLawrer.ce L her attorney and files her petition to the

I?aroorn circuit curt, praying a divorce from her snid husband, for cause of abandonment;

and thereupon, it appearing to th satisfaction of the Hon. I.saac Dunn and the Hon. John M'I.ke associate judges of the Dearborn circuit court, that the said James Dean is not a resident of this state: By order of the said judges, Notice is therefore hereby given, to the Naid James Dean of the filing of the petition aforesaid, and that he be and appear before the judges of the Dearborn circuit court, at their lerm on the 4ih Monday in September next, to answer to ths petition aforesaid, or the sam will then be heard-in-his absence and a decree granted accordingly. JAMES DILL, CTk. Mty irth, 1Q32. 18 4. Till subscriber has just received from Phil, cde'pfaa, and is now opening, a splend d

stock of ViS 11 GOO At his old stand; where he is prepared to wait on his Customers an 1 all those who may think, proper to give him a cullJOHN P. DUNW. March ITlh, 1832. 9-

cask iVppr

do. 4th proof Brand v;

I do. Holland (iin; I do. Port Wine; 1 do. Tcncriil'e Wine; and for sale by SHAW & PROTZMAX. April 28, 1S3-2.

Whiskey V Flour.

TCI Olt Sale 50 bbls Super F', 1? ft nun.

100 bnis. best Rectified

2& WBisaffirsr-

SHAW vV. l'KUl-.iA.. March .3 1st, 1832. (7bf RRLS. first quality New Orleans s-J SliS'ftr received r.nd for sale by SHAW & PROTZMAN. April (, 183-2. F04 Sale at this (fce.

Ion, & ftlass."TUST received from Pilisb-.irirh. Der Steame

! Ladv Iivrtin. a ouantitv of

NAILS Assorted; IRON, Assented .In tl &1j!E8$AIso, WHEAT SEIVES, And for sale by JOHN P. DUNN. Mar-h ir?h, 183. -9 Boo, E3 remans, & Shoes. TIIK uhscr;ber has a first rate stock of BOOTS, BXOCANS, AND SHOES,. (ro.vnsr. and fixi:,) Tor Women m aiul

Which he wdl sell low for Cih. JOHN P. DUNN. Ma-ch irtH 183?. Trwitfairer's Office, Lawrenrehnrgh, May V4th 1832. "TVT)URt.IC notice :a hereby given, to all tavern A keepers, gmrery keepers, ami venders of" f.ireitrn merchandise, who r.ay he violating the revenue Law; by selling, trading, bartenn?:, r? delivreing f.r mnnev, or otherwise, anything" forbidden, without first having applied fur arsd obtained a lirn-e or permit, according to law, that suits v. i l be inlisenmin;;ie'y brought, :s oon as such infraction shall be made fcivwn to ihe uidersijrned. Comment oi the Iiw is unnecessary; a word to the wise is sv!Ticient, Willi due tesppct, th pnSiir's humbl iei'Vunt. V. .MiMST!0T. fit