Indiana Palladium, Volume 7, Number 6, Lawrenceburg, Dearborn County, 12 February 1831 — Page 4

1 SONG OF THE HENPECKSD. 1 Oh her hair is dark as the midnight wave, I nd her eye is like kindling- fire, And her voice is sweet as the spirit's voice, xhat chord with the seraph's lyre. But her nails are as sharp as a toasting fork, And her arm as strong as a bear's ; She pulled my hair and gouged my eye, And she kicked me down the stairs. IVe got me an eye that's made of glass. And I've got me a wig that's new, The wig is frizzlsd in corkscrew curls, And the eye is a clouded blue She may shake her knuckles full in my face, And put the lamp to my beard, And hold the broomstick over my head, But I am not a bit afeard. For I've bound her over to keep the peace, And I"ve bought me a crab-tree cane,

The justice will come, and the constable too,

If she meddles witn me again. My head was a week in the linen cap, And my eye a month in the patch ; I never thought that the torch of love Would light such a brimstone match! From the New-England Weekly Review. THE REPLY. Oh his face is as red as a dog day sun In a misty sun-set sky ; And the tip of his nose is a burning coal, - You might light your candle by. Bis eye was gouged by a two quart jug That cracked across his nose; And his other has taken a rain bow hue From his pot companion's blows. He blundered against the red-hot grate, And the grate returned the blow And the lamp that signed his grisly beard, Was the Lehigh coal beloy. I've emptied his bottle of liquor free ' As the flow of autumn rain. And the sheriff will come and the jailor too If he fills them up again; He has lost his scalp he has lost his eye And his face is grim with blows And the early light of our love is changed To the light of a tiplers nosei

Sam Scapegrace one night took a rash oath

that he would never drink atraiti while Le

breathed the breath of life.

Sam Scapegrace once to me devoutly swore

That while he breathed, by heaven; he d drink no more ; But Sam meant nothing mere, as I am thinkincr,

Than that he would not breathe while he was

drinking!

ship to thu person addressed, "he's something in the way of your profes-

quite a pnjsioiogtcal curiosity.

sion

A ROWLANT Tan AN Of JVP.T?.

An English gentleman, of true John stage-coach.

ull dimensions, had occasion to travel

from Oxford to London. The stage :j :j i

caniuu six. insiut;, auu uur ueri enga

ged two places, (as in consideration of

bis size he commonly did) for himself. . The other four seats were taken by Oxford students.

Those youths arrived at the stage

You ought to accommodate him.'

"May 1 be poisoned if I do," replied the student of medicine; "in a dissecting room he would make an excellent subject, but in a coach, and then this

warm weather too ! Old gentleman, if

you7ll place yourself under my care, I'll engage, in the course of dieuretics and cathartics, to save you hereafter the expense of a double seat. But, really, to take a middle seat in the month

of July, is contrary to all the rules of

nygeia, and a practice to which I have a peculiar antipathy." And the laugh was renewed at the old gentleman's expense. By this time, the patience of the driver, who had listened to the latter part of the dialogue, was exhausted. "Herkee gemmen," said he "settle business as you like, but I wants but three quarters of a minute of twelve, and with the first stroke of the University clock my horses must be off, and 1 would not wait three seconds longer for the King himself. It would loe my situation." And with that he mounted hi3 box, took up the reins, called to the cslier to shut the door, and sat listening, with upraised whip, for the expected stroke. As it sounded from the venerable belfry, the horses, as if they recognized the sound, started off at full gallop with the four young rogues, to whom their own rudeness and our fat friend's

disappointment, afforded a fit theme for a joke and merriment.

The subject of their mirth in the

mean time hired a post chaise, and followed and overtook the coach at the

second stopping place, where the passengers got out ten minutes for dinner. As the post chaise drove up to the inn

door, two young chimneysweeps pas

sed with their well known cry.

"Come here, my lads, said the cor

pulent gentleman, "what says ye to a

ride?"

The whites of their eyes enlarged

into still more striking contrast with

the dark shade of their sootv cheeks.

"Will you have a ride my boys in the

the seata shaken and brushed, and the worthy sons of the university made up among themselves the expense of the post chaise, the young doctor violated for once the rules of hygeia, by taking a middle seat, and all journeyed on together without further grumbling. From the Wilksbarre Gleaner. From the Desk of Poor Robert the scribe. Tray take my advice if fortune you'd get, Pay oft what you owe and keep out debt. This may be bad poetry, but depend upon it, is excellent sense. It is an old saying that "the debtor is a slave to the creditor." If so, half the world enter into voluntary servitude. The universal rage to buy on credit, is a serious evil to this country. Many a valuable man is ruined by it. There wa3 Titus Thornbury who wa3 an industrious man. lie had as good a farm as lay in the north parish of Applebury. But unfortunately he gave way to the ruling passion of getting in debt, and a sad life he led of it.

.Atthe age of thirty he owed two hun

dred pounds. His farm yielded about that sum. He would not live without purchasing some things, and as all the monev he cculd raise went to pav prin

cipal and interest on his debt, he had

Yoes, zur," said the elder, scar-re

ly daring to believe the evidence of his ears.

"Well then ostler open the stage

door. In with ye; and d'ye hear? be

a

sure ye take the middle seats j so, one

on each side."

The driver's hnrn sounded , Ids

t. - J. a ri . . ..i . l

1,: j u ., l ,,"i wearu "vmy ii: uauuic uuu

" a j f - i u . i ;

ro .Mt c;r!o nf fhJ 1 he7 catne D0'cd laughingly to

round good tempered face of John 0UF fr,etnd f lh(e corporation, and pas- ... r .... I KPr! rin in thA sfnrrp. I hr v miner !.pl

xJull soon alter appeared at the car

riage door; and peeping into the vehicle, and observing the local arrangement that bad been made, he said with a smile "You see I am of a pretty considerable size, gentlemen, so I have taken two seats. I will be obliged, if one of you will remove to the opposite seat, so that I may be able to enter." "My good sir," said a pert young lawyer, "possession is nine-tenths of the law, you engaged two ects

there they are, one on each side. Wre "engaged one each, come first, entered regularly into posses&iou, and our claims to the seats we occupy, are iu'disputable." "I do not wish to dispute your claims," said the other, "but 1 trust to your politeness to enable me to pursue my journey." "O hang politeness!" said a hopeful young scion of some noble house, "I have a horror of a middle seat, and

would not take one to oblige my grandmother. One sits so ungraceful; and besides, one lose3 nil chanzc of looking at the pretty girls along the road. Good old gentleman, arrange your con cerns as you please, I stick to my corner." He leaned back, yawned, and settled himself with hopeless composure in his seat. Our corpulent friend, though a man not easy discomposed, was somewhat put out by this unmannerly obstinacy. He turned to a smart looking youth, with a simper on his face, a clerical Student, who had hitherto sat in a reverie, dreaming, perchance, of some fat benefice. "Will not you accommo

date me?" he said, "this is the last London stage that goes to day, and business of urgent importance" calls me to town." "Some temporal affair, no doubt."

Said the graceless youth, with an air of

mocK gravity; "some speculation after filthy lucre. Good father, at your age your thoughts should be turned heaven wards, instead of being confined to the dull, heavy tabernacle of clay that chains us to this earth;" and his companions roared with laughter atthe joke. A glow of indignation just colored the st ranger's cheek; but he checked the feeling in a moment, and said with much composure to the fourth, "Have you also determined that I shall lose mV t)larp. ftp will mil n M i era mo Kt

king a centre seat?" "Ah do, Tom." said his young lord-

sed on to the stage. The young lord

was the first to put his foot on trie

steps, "Why, how cochce, what joke is this? Get out, you rascals, I'll teach

you how to serve gentlemen such a

trick again.

"Sit still, my lads," said the fat gen

tleman. "My lord, the two middle seats are mine, regularly taken and

paid for; and these youths are my sub

stitutes. An Enehsh stage coach

is free for every one. Your lordship

has a horror of the middle seat. Fray take the corner one."

"Overreached us," said the'lawyer.

"We give up the cause, and cry your

mercy, Mr.

"I osscssion is nine tenths of the law,

my good Sir, It would be uncivil to dislodge the poor youths; you have your corner."

"Heaven preserve us', said the cler

ical student.

"You are net surely afraid of a black

coat,'' retorted the other, "Besides

we ought not to confine our thoughts to earthly concerns, but iather turn them heavenward s." "I'd rather go through my examination a second time than sit beside these black fellows," groaned the medical student. "Soot is perfectlv wholesome, my

good friend; and you will not be compelled to vioIaHgihe rules of hygeia. by taking a mOe seat. Pray Get in." At these words the driver, who had stood grinning belvnd, came forward. "Gentlemen, you have lost me one minute and a quarter already. I must drive on without you, if so you do'nt like your company.

Ihe students cast ruetul looks at each other, and then crept warily into their respective corners. As the ostler

shut the door, he found it impossible to compose his features . "I'll give you something to change your cheer, you grinning rascal," said the future churchman, stretching out of the window; but the ostler nimbly evaded the blow. "My white pantaloons!" cried the lord. "My drab surtQut!" said the lawyer expectant. "The filthy rascals'." The noise of the carriage wheels and the unrestrained laughter of the spectators drowned the sequel of the lamentations. At the next stage a bargain was struck. The sweeps were liberated,

every thing to buy on credit. So, at the year's end with interest and cost, and the loss of time, and extra prices charged for things, because he did not make ready pay, was just as deeply involved as the year before. Thus harassed, dunned and tormented, was poor Thornbury for twenty years. Not so was it with his cousin, Ned

v orest. lie vowed ne d orse no mas. The produce of his farm was about the same as.that of Thornbury'e, but a3 he was not forced, by dun3 or executions, to sell it out of season, he got the highest price: As he paid for things when he bought them, he got his necessaries 12 per cent, cheaper: Aa he paid neither interests nor costs, and lost no time in running to borrow money or to see his creditors, he laid up DO pounds a year, lived quite a? well as hi3 cousin, and infinitely more happy, When poor Thornbury saw a man riding up the read, hh anxious look tcld as plainly as a look could tell

"plague on that fellow he is coming to dun me."- When a sudden rap at the door announced, a visiter, no matter how lively he had been, he turned pale and looked sorrowfully anxious, unlil the visiter was known. Many a man goes into a store for a

single article. Looking round, twenty things strike his fancy; he has no money, but he buys en credit. Foolish man! Pay day must come, and ten chances to one, like death , it finds you unprepared to meet it. Tell me, ye who have experienced, did the pleasure of possessing the articles, bear any proportion to the pain of beiug called on to pay for them, when you had it not in your power? Good people, hark ye: A few rules well kept, will contribute much to your happiness and independence. Never buy what you do not really want. Never purchase on credit what you can possibly do without. Take pride in being able to say, 5 cue vo man.-

that means, they will be able to judge of the condition of the poor old horse. If not, we must inform them that he was so badly of as to be taken for dead; and in this state deprived of his shoes and stripped of his hide.

The Colonel hired another horse and returned home, sadly lamenting the fate of his venerable and faithful steed. The misfortune of the animal was talked over between the Colonel and his wife, and though they severely blamed him forgetting so beastly drunk, it was concluded on the whole, that as this was the only instance of intemperance during a long and useful life, they should not visit his memory too severely. With these reflections they retired to rest. But what was their astonish

ment, about midnight at being awaked by the neighing of a horse, which sounded precisely like that of the one whose death they had been so deeply lamenting. "Husband! husband!" said the old lady, giving the Colonel a nudge, "isn't that our old hoss? It whinners like h;i " 1.U Hi. "Our old horse, indeed!" replied the Colonel. "How do vou think, wife, that the poor old horse could come here, after being dead and skinned?" "I den't know how, I'm sure," returned the old lady, "but it sounds jist like our old hoss; and if it isn't he, it must be his ammunition that is all." The good woman meant apparition. But while the worthy couple were yet talking, the same noise was heard again, and in the most piteous tones of a sudering horse. The Colonel wss no believer in ghosts, but the neighing was too much like that of his old favor-

jite to be any longer disregarded. He

got up and went to the acor, and there what a sight for sore eyes he saw indeed the very identical eld horse, shivering in the night air and looking most reproachfully in his master's face. The heart of the old Revolutioner smote him for it wa3 now apparent that the poor beast had never been dead but only dead drunk and that he had acted with too great precipitancy in divesting him of his skin. What was to be done? The horse begged most piteously in such language as he could use, and asked, as plainly as a dumb beast could, to have his skin put on again. The old lady was consulted , and being very handy with her needle, she readily sowed the hide on again, which being still moist, soon grew as fast as ever to the fieshef the animal, who lived saven years afterwards ana never again was guilty creating rum-cherries. JW Constellation

it

LJ

BANK NOTES TABLE. CORRECTED veekly by G. ?. G1LMQRE Exchange Ofice, Xo. 4., Jllain Srctt Cincinnati. OHIO. Dit count.

Bank of ChiHicoihe Hank of Lancaster . Dank of Columbus Mount Pleasant Western Reserve - Commercial bank Scioto Farmers 5c Mechanics b?k SteubeaTille Farmers' bank of Canton . Siint Clairsville Marietta ... MICHIGAN. Detroit Bank ... PENNSYLVANIA.

Philadelphia Banks

Pittsburgh Easton

Germantown . Montgomery county West Chester Farmers' Bank Lancaster Ilarrisburgh Bucks county Lancaster Bank Northampton. Swatara York Bank Chambersburgh Brownsville Gettysburgh - NEW-YORK. City Banks Troy and Albany . Mohawk Bank Newburgh AuLurn Geneva - Utica Bank and branches Ontario Bnk, Utica Do. &t Canandaigua - VIRGINIA. Richmond and branch Valley and tranches North Western Bank at Wheeling MARYLAND. Baltimore city bar.ks City bank of Baltimore George county - Farmers' bank Annapolis Havre de Grace - Frederick county bank Westminster Hager3to-,.vn - . DISTRICT OF COLUMBIA. Rank of Washington Central . Bank of Columbia Union Bank Georgetown Farmers End Mechanics' Bank Bank o? Alexandria Potomac Bank - I Farmers' bank of Alexandria

U 1 u 34 n 1A 1A 1A U lh lh lh lh lh 3 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 1 1 1 n 2 2 3 2 2 2 o

Union bank of ditto Mechanic bank cf ditto NEW-JERSEY. Newark Insurance company Trenton bank'ng company Farmers' bank of Mount Holly Cumberland bank DELAWARE. Bank of Dslawara Farraers bank and branch Wilmington and"? Lrandyuir.e 5 Coawncrcial bark Brsnch of ditto Milford Bink of Smyrna Note. For h tdd a half.

2 2 3 2 2 2 2 2 4 4 4 4 4 3 3 3 n a 3 8

Petersburg! Academy.

1

Wi

es are sometimes tliauchtic:

daughters now and then extravagant. Many a time, when neither the wife nor daughter would willingly give a single pang to a fond father's besom, they urge and tease him to get article?, pleasant enough, to be sure, to possess.

hut difficult for him to buy; he purchases on credit, is dunned sued; and many an hour made wretched by their folly and imprudence. Old Robert presents his compliments to the ladies, and begs they would have the goodness to read the last ten lines once a month till they get them by heart, and then act as their own excellent disposition shall direct. Above all things, good people, never go in debt to a tavern. To grog to toddy to sling to bitters! Oh hor- !- 1 a I 'it I A

rm; wnai a dui: ever owe your shoemaker, your tailor, your prinkr, your blacksmith or laborer. Besides the bad policy of being in debt, it is downright injustice to those the beneiit of whose labor you have received.

The Skinned Horse A friend of ours informs us, that an acquaintance of his assures him, that he has often heard his grandfather tell how an officer in the Revolutionary war used to relate the following story. It therefore ccrnes to us from good authority, and hope nobody will take the liberty of doubtins its truth.

Colonel

OFFICE OF AMERICAN AKD F0UF.1GM AGENCY F0H CLAIMS, 49 WALL-ST. NEW YORK, JAN. 1831. PUBLIC NOTICE is hsreby given ta all persons whom it may ecncerri, having Ciairus, Debts, Inheritances, Sct payable cr recoverable, abroad, that .Lis Agency has established, under the special auspices and patroQBge of distinguished individuals ta this couutrj, a rtguhr correpondance with eroi-

nant linkers, &c, in the principal ports sod capitals of Foreign Goveracstnti, in ccramercial relations with tha United States ; through the mediation whereof such valid claims as may be eorjfined thereto, will be eipaditcd for settlement, and promptly and effectively recovered; when furnished by the claimants with tha suitable legal proofs sod vouchers, together with the rtquisito Povver of Attorney, ta ba take nowledsed

before an)' Judge of a Court of Record, or other competent Civil Magistrate, Municipal Authority, or Notary Public; and the vihola duly authenticated by ths Governor of tha Saie, or Territory in which liiQ same m3y Id perfected, sad legalized by the appropriate Foreign Consul. Having also established a similar corres-! pondenee throughout tha United States &nd j British America, the like claims for recovery j in any part thereof respectively, will be i

received and efficiently attended to in behalf; of February, to wl of American as well S3 Foreign claimants. j ence Era respectful Orders for the investment of funds on Mort-

f i HE third session of this institution will

0. commence on tha 14th February 1831. The trustees, taking every mean9 to render it useful, hare established it upon the most permanent basis; from the flourishing condition of this institution, and ihe well knowa imprDfement of the youth in the various sciences, they anticipate with mach confidenca the same success from tha continuance of iti operations. The term9 of tuition, as follows: Latin, Greek, Hebrew, French, and Spanish languages, $10 per session of sis months; English Grammar, Composition, Geography Tsith usa of Globe, Drawing and Projection of

maps, Astronomy, Minerology, Chemistry, and Natural Philosophy, $S; the varioui branches of Mathematics, $10; Reading, Writing, and Arithmatic, $4 per session payable quarterly. Rev. Wallace Danton, professor of languages, superintendent; Mr. ITiba Casterline, assistant. A mineral cabinetwith some other apparatus is added to the Academy. Arraegementj have been made so that young ladies can receive instruction in Paintiog all the branches of Literature suitable to their sex. All students can be accommodated with boarding upon the most reasonable terms, at the superintendent's own house, the spaciousness of which will make it very convenient for boardsrs . REUBEN GRAVES, Pres't. George Cornelius, Sety. N. R. Tha sessional examination will

commence on the 7th and continue ta the 8th

which all the friends cfaci-

dy invited.

W3 T a

ea

, an offices, in the

"times that tried men's souls" and horsesbodies, owned a faithful steed which had served him through the wars, and had arrived at the mature age of twenty five years. Being on a visit a few miles from home, while his master was enjoying a glass of cherry bounce with his host, the horse got to a pile of cherries which had just been

emptied from the cask, and as they were well saturated with spirits, IheV soon made him "as drunk as David's

sow." If our readers know how drunk j

cf Freehold property, cr in the pur

chaao of Public Securities cf the Unit

States, Canal Loans of the States of NetvYcrk, Pennsylvania, Ohio, S.c. punctually and faithfully executed. Applications addressed fo this Agency in cssr;3 requiring the investigation of claims, search of records, or tho intervention of legal proceedings, should ba accompanied with an adequate remittance to defray the preliminary charges and disbursements attending, the same, snd all letters must be post paid, AARON H. PALMER, Counsellor vf the S. C. cfthe U. S. Mvary

OLD PSWTSR! S (7 HALF cents per paund will be given in cash for any quantity of old pewter delivered to the subscriber ct Lis Tia Shop in Lawreoceburgh. TIN WAKE of different kinds kept on hand, cr mads to

order oa the shortest notice. JOHN MOOD. January 21, 1S31. 3 tf.

FKESH FLOUR.

1TUST received and for sa?e 50 2AH HlS SLOUIt, 'warranted first quality. Also, Kenhawa SAITand rectified Will 3KllXr, by the barrel; corner of Short and llk-h streets, Lawreneeburh. Deo. 23, 1830. THOMAS SHAW. f g HOSE indebted to the subscriber ara 1 hereby informed, that, unless payment is made on or before the first of February next, after that time their tccounts will be left with Thomas Palmer esq. for collection, without respect to persons JOSEPH SUTTON. January CO, 1S31. S Sw. INDIANA PALLADIUM PRINTED AND PUBLISHED BY Publisher of the Lavs of the Cnitsd States

7lto cents per pound) in Cd$H ?' be paid for any quantity of dean Linen one Cotton luiGS, at this effee.

The Palladium is printed v.etkiy, on &uper royal paper, at THREE DOLLAR?, per annum paid at the end of the j ear; but which may br discharged bv the payment of rut) DOLLARS in advance'or b paying TWO DOLL KS an 1 FIFTY CENTS atthe expiration oi s:'x msm.ha Those w ho rcce.ve their papers by the mail c&rrisr, tr:ust pay the carriage, otherwise H will

auivi ic