Indiana Palladium, Volume 6, Number 21, Lawrenceburg, Dearborn County, 29 May 1830 — Page 4

LOVE'S REPROACH: a rustic plaint

BY JAMES KENNEDY, ESQ. Dear Tom, my brave, free-hearted lad, Where'er yoa go God bless you! You'd better speak than wish you had, If lore or me distress you. To me, they aay, your thoughts incline, And possibly they may go; Then once for all, to quiet mine, Tom, if you love me, say so. On that sound heart, and manly frame Sits lightly sport or labor, Good bumor'd, frank, and still the same. To parent, friend, or neighbor. Then why postpone, your love to own For roe from day to dsy so, And let mo whisper still alone r "Tom, if you love me, say bo." How oft when I was sick, or sad With some remembered folly, The sight of you has made me glad, And then most melancholy! Ah! why will thoughts of one so good. Upon my spirits pray so? By yu it should be understood T vm, if you love me, say so." Last Monday, at the cricket match, No rival stood before you: In harvest time for quick despatch The Farmers all adore you; And evermore your praise they sing, Though one tbirgycu delay so, And I slept lightly murmuring ' "Turn, if you love me, 8y so." Whate'er of yours you chance to seek, Almost before you breathe it, I briog with blushes on my chetk, And all my soul goes with it. Why, thank me, then, with voice so low, And faultering turn awsy so? When next you come, before you go, "Tom, if you love me, say so." When Jasper Wild beside the brook, Resentful round us lowered, Yofi recalled that lion-lock I That quelled the savge coward. Bold words and free you uttered then, Would they could find their way so, When these moist eyes so plainly meani 'Tom, if you lore me, ssy so, My friends, 'tis true, are well to do, And yours are poor and friendless; Ah no! for they are rich in you, Their happineBS is endless. You never let them shed a tear, Save that on you they weigh so; Tbert's one might bring you better cheery "Tom, if you love me, say so." My uncle's legacy is all For you, Tom, when you choose it;: In better hands it could not fall, Or better trained to use it. I'll wait for years; but let me not Nor woo'd nor plighted s'ay so; Since wealth and worth nuke even lot, "Tom, if you love me, say so,"

TAKING THE CENSUS. The first house where 1 met with a rebuff was that of an elderly single lady, who called herself Mrs. Oldfish,

upon wincn I said J believed sne was

not a widow. 'That 13 no business of

yours, Mr. Wigginbottom, put me down Mrs. Oldfish.' 'Indeed I cannot, madam,' I replied, I cannot make a false return;' so I wrote down Miss Zephrina Oldfish. I next demanded what age? She here filtered exceedingly, blushed and looked pale by turns and then amidst convulsive agitations she articu lated, 'That is of no consequence, they can't want me for the Militia.' "Madam," said I, 'there is a ptnalty if an improper answer is given; I must write down the truth.' Now, more agitated, she stammered, Don't threaten me Mr. Wigginbottona don't be impertinent the Government is unreasonable, oppressive. What pretty times we live in! What will it require next I wonder? Here she faltered still more in her speech, and appeared to be ill. 'Betty,' she cried, ringing the bell violently, 'my sale volatile. Do call again Mr. Wigginbottom; I'm ill, indeed I am very ill.' Not wishing to appear rude,

and being unsuspicious of a trick, I left her, thinking to call the next day. I did so, and found to my dismay she had left Bungay for Scarborough that morning at day break; beyood'a doubt that she might evade my questions, as she knew the returns must be completed by a particular day. I wa3 forced to leave a blank opposite her name, in the column of ages, in my book; but when she comes back I shall levy the full penalty. Upon calling at the house of another lady, to whom I was well known, my mind being made up not to be baffled again,! commenced , as usual, by ex plaining the nature of my errand. She n ddened deep as scarb t ; and wondered why the government was so particular with unmarried persons, &l if they might not be returned in a general way. She afiirmed that she had done nil she could for the support of the church and state, she had helped to work a standard tor the Bungay light horse; had been careful never to employ a tradesman who was a radical:

had given five pounds for the benefit of

the Constitutional Association; had thrown up her subscription to the best circulating library in Norfolk, because that audacious paper, the Morning Chronicle, had been taken in there; and at her last whist party had absolutely used dirty cards; because a package which she had ordered from London had not arrived; and she could procure none in her neighborhood, but at a shop the owner of which had shocked her feelings by declaring that he thought a Methodist or Roman Catholic, if not worth one shilling, had as good a chance for heaven as his Grace

of Canterbury JNov, Ebenezcr,' said she, 'you have. long known me and know that I am a good subject; why then must my personal affairs be made known to all the world?' 'Madam,' the returns are only seen by the government in London.' 'Nonsense,' she rejoined, 'don't think to cheat me. You have a wife Mr. Wigginbottom, curious as married women always are; husbands can t keep secrets, you will let it out to her and the whole town will have it. No, no, you can only levy the fine of contumacy exact it there is a five pound note do your worst.' Having said this,she marched out of the room with a stately air of triumphant

scorn, muttering revenge for the arbi

trary conduct of government, and say-

ing someining aooat ingrauiude oi per

sons in authority. A lew days after I heard she had given largely towards

the erection ol a Methodist chapel, had

subscribed again to the circulating li

brary, and had been heard to argue

stoutly for Major Cartwright's system

of universal sutfrage.

lidy, a good customer of mine, (for -mm n 1 .1 w 1

you Know, Mr. Editor, tnat 1 deal

little in snuff and tobacco, besides

groceries and hardware) refused to see me on the subject of the population act, but ordered her servant to give me what particulars were necessa'ry, &: to show me her family bible, where her age was inscribed. There she was entered thirty-nine, though I am certain it should have been ten yeais more. The figure three appeared newly written in, upon an erazure which had no doubt obliterated a four. I did not wish to be litigious in this case, indeed the law could not have helped me without fariher proof, so I made the entry : 'Abigail S raggs, spinster, 39, and

went away, fully convinced I had been

mystified.' The pertinency of the ladies, according to my late experience, is exceeded by that of 1 he other sex. I met with much trouble from single men. I am well aware of the irritability of the genus, and that it is susceptible of acute pain on the attacks of curiosity, as it lives, like the garden spider in the centre of its own web, the vibration of a single cord of which induces the meally cuticle which covers its angular physiognomy, to put on a fever redness, ind the lividi ccchi,as Tasso calls them,or in plain English the 'livid eyes,' engulph-

ed therein, to (lash what the lake poetsublimely denominate'an emerald light;' for be it known, that greenness of color and morbidness have more than a common affinity; and bachelorship is, according to the best medical practitioners, a state of actual disease. I called twice upon Mr. Theophilus Weasel, a gentleman of this description, aged fifty three years. The first time I could not be admitted, as Mr. Weazel had employed an artist of celebrity in surgery, in the important operation of cutting and mollifying his corns. On the second visit I was admitted into his presence. 1 stood with my hat in one hand and list book in the other; an ink bottle, having a pen stuck in it, sus-j pended from my button hole ready for action; the points of my toes forming a centre of a St. Andrew's cross with;

the opposite angels of the room; while the crlicial dignity of my countenance was tempered by an air of humility, arising from a recollection that Mr. Weazol bought goods at my shop. This expression is nev er witnessed in government officials who have no copartner

ship with similar extraneous interests,

but depend entirely upon the 'powers

that be.' The latter description of officials are the 'pontifices majores,' and the others but underlings; but all bear in their countenances somewhat of a 'valiant severity' when amonc

Wig. Your employment, sir Weazel. Am I not a gentlemanin. dependent and ll'is. Government orders us to re

turn the employment, sir. Weazel. Government be d-

d; it

equals or inferiors. I first broke si

lence, after a mutual recognition. Wig. I am come sir, to enquire the number of inhabitants in this house, their ages, employments, and means of living, in pursuance of an act for ascertaining the population of these kingdoms. Weazel. Reddening. What the devil, Wigginbottom, have I to do with population? Wig. True, sir; but I must do my duty, you know sir. Weazel. Very well; but I stand alone in the world: 1 have no children; population is nothing to me; I don't increase it; and Malthus says, it is the increase of population-that is the ruin of nation?. I have no wife, I have a house-keeper, it is true,somewhat aged Diana Icely, just turned sixty. What has population to do with me or her either? Wig. Profiting by the intelligence of the house-keeper's name and age, instantly put them in the list. You perhaps have other relatives living with you, sir? ' Weazel. No; Wigginbottom none thank God, I am plagued with none, male or female; and this intelligence will content you, I hope. Wig. Entering Theophilus Weazel, single man. Any servants, sir? Weazel. No, no; Di' and self are all who live in this house, unless you would take the rati.

Nepoleon waa so "crowded" in France, that Mtscow appeared the only breathing place; and when he came in possession he found not as much elbow room as Mr. Rood had. In our own country we all are "crowded." A trip of 500 mile3 to Pittsburg, 1100 to the mouth of Ohio, and 1100 to New-Orleans, is not "outlet" enough it is a mere morning visit. The mouth of Columbia or Gulf of California are the only country places for a family. Buffalo Rtp. Grouping a Story. Our. readers are all unquestionably aware that stories sometimes increase with astonishing rapidity, and that a mighty growth of the marvellous may, in a short lime arise from an exceedingly small beginning. But as all may not be acquainted with the precise mode of culture, which will bring them forward with more than the rapidity of cucumbers in a hot house, we hope they will feel themselves highly obliged 10 us for endeavoring to enlighten them in this matter; and to show our disposition to serve them in so important a particular, we subj in the following specimen. 4kH ve you heard," said Mrs. Wiggins, "that Matthew McMuz?le and his wife have fallen out?" "No, I have not," said Mrs. Spriggins. "Well it's as true as juu're alive," said Mr?. Wiggins, laying her finger beside her nose in token of silence. Mrs. Spriggins lo3t no time in calling upon her neighbor Higgins. "Have )ou heard," said she, "that Matthew M'Mozzle and his wife have fallen out of bed? "No, I have not, replied Mrs. Higgins. "Well it's as true as 1 am here," returned Mrs. Spriggins, for I

just had it from Mrs. Wiggins. And she likewise put her finger beside her nose in token that it va3 not a matter for every body to know. Mrs. Higgins went directly to her neighbor Figgins, and before she had fairly recovered breath, began: "Have you heard that Matthew M. Muzzle and his wife have fallen out of the window! "N ., is it possible?" said Mrs. Figgins. "It's as true as I draw the breath of life, said M'g. Higgins, still panting with exertion, lor Mrs. Spriggins told me not two minutes ago, that she had just heard it from Mrs. Wiggins. Mrs. Figgins went forthwith to see her neighbor Twiggins. She had scarcely seated herself when she said, "Have )ou heard how that Matthew McMuz zle and his wife have fallen out of the chamber window ? "N ! you don't say so!" exclaimed Mrs. Twiggins. "Yes it's as true as the book of Genesis, said Mrs. Figgins, for I just heard it not two minutes ago from Mrs. Higgins, who got it not two minutes before from Mrs. Wiggins." Mrs. Twiggins now took her turn, and with the advantage of a glib tongue and a pair of active feet, soon reported all over town , that Matthew MeMuzle and his wife had broken their necks bv

a small log cabin, with some five or six fanS out fa lree story window. And acres under improvement, surrounding I sno gave tor tier authority , her neighbor the house. The usual salutations wort' Mrs. Figeins, who quoted Mis. Hifrtzins.

. . - I . - . 00

won't let us live in the light of heaven,

by and by; it mean9 to save the expense of keeping spies, 1 suppose, by making every man a spy upon himself. Let them find it out. Wig. There is a penalty, sir for making evasive returns. I could wish to oblige you, but you must not blame me for following my duty. You have known me a long while Mr. Weazel. Weazel. A man's house was formerly his castle; his secrets were his own; he paid his taxes and no more was required. They'll set up racks soon, to extort answers to their questions. I pay half my income in taxes and cannot be left quiet. I'll sell out my funds, and live abroad. Wig. 1 will enter "lives by the funds; no employment." Writes it down, Mr. Weazel scarcely noticing him, from angry emotion. There h something more, sir, which I had nearly Weazel. Taxation, Wigginbottom, taxation, is the cause ol all. Ministers are insolent from success shaVt tax me much longer I'll get cut of the way I'll emigrate. Wig. There is something more, sir, I had almost forgotten to ask your age. Weazel. My age! s'blood ! my age, too! Here he appeared half choaked with anger. A pause now ensued, and Mr. Weazel's countenance changed from red to jellow, and then to red again, with an expression of indignation and rage. It was an emotion forming a climax of

passion; the magnitude ofwhicii precluded utterance, and proved it not to belong to the parvi doloras oi Horace. It must have been a pause like MacDuff's, after he had ex iaimed "All my pretty ones? "Did you say all? Oh, Hell kite?! all?" I almost wished I had not made the demand so abruptly'. At length, in a subdued tone of voice, the overpowered Celibilarie, said, "Wigginbottom, I don't know my age; this business is more than human nature can bear put me down what you think me to be." 1 mentioned fifty, and a gleam of satisfaction overspread his face, as he added "you guess near the mark, Wigginbottom only two years out; I shall not

say which side of fifty you should have taken. Heartily tired, I put down forty-eight, at the same time guessing from Mr. Weazel's apparent satisfaction, that it ought to have been four years more, and that the bachelor felt pleasure at having cozened me. Magnet. Crowding. In one of my excursions

on the frontiers of Missouri, I came to

soon ended, and I found the occupant

ottnis retired spot to be a man of the name of Rood, a Justice of the Peace in

G sconade county; a section of count 1 y

well designated by the old woman's graphic description of her son's residence, o "a few miles beyond the westward." The old man led my horse to the stable and returned todinner: ashe sata stool up to a large stump which occupied the place ofa table,he Sdid with that hospitable bluntness so peculiar to the inhabitants of the western w ilds, "perhaps, stranger, you'll sit up and skin a 'later?" A good appetite wants no compliments; and in this case I think I used as few as a Yankee schoolmaster would in eating a luncheon with his Echolrs. After partaking of his bounty, I atkt d him how he liked the country, how long he had been there, Sic. He answered, "I like the country well, but I am going to leave here" "You'll go to some place more convenient for schooling?" "No," he rejoined, "No, I'm loo much crowded too much hampered up I've no outlet, the range is all eat out I'm too much crowded." "How," I responded, "crowded! who crowds you?" "Why here's Burnsright down upon me right down in my very teeth stuck right here! and (hen on the other side, I'm hampered up they're crowding in, they're jamming me out the neighbors are too thick, I'll not stay here another season?" "Well Mr. Rood, how near are your neighbor? I asked. "Why here's that drotted Burns stuck down here within fifteen miles, and then on the other side they're not much farther. I'll never live where a neighbor can come to my house and go home the sama day Poor man! tho't I, as I left his dwelling to resume my journey, you would nol call this "crowding' if your family formed one of the layers where six or eight live one above another! But on reflecting, I find there are others "crowded" and "hampered up" as well as Mr. Rood.

w ho

C -1 A - T

leieiJHU If! llli- nrifTrtin

1 eo" 7 who had the authority ol Mrs. Wiggins, who was said to be an eye witness of the fact.

A few evenings ago, a young man was returning from Preston, accompanied by a parly of young ladies, where they had been spending the afternoon. On coming to a stile, the young man very politely jumped over for the purpose of assisting the fairies, when to his utter astonishment on landing, he found himself at the bottom ofa well thirty-one feet in depth, containing about five feet water. The cries of the damsels soon procured assistance, and the young gentleman was rescued from his perilous situation without the least injury, savirg the punishment of standing nearly a quarter of an hour up to his mouth in water. Halifax Free Press.

In the course of the day I had an opportunity of shooting a condor; it was so satisfied with its repast on the carcass of a horse, as to suffer me to approach within pistol shot before it extended its enormous w ings to take flight, which was to me the signal to fire ; and having loaded with an ample charge of pellets, my aim proved effectual and fatal. What a formidable monster did I behold in the ravine beneath me, screaming in ihe last convulsive struggles of lile! Ii may be difficult to believe that the most gigantic animal which inhabits the earth or ocean, can be equalled in size by a tenant cf the air, and those persons who have never seen a larger bird than our mountain eagle, will probably read with astonish

ment cf a species of that same bird in southern hemispheres, beint; large and strong as to seize an cx w ith his talons, and to lift it into the air, whence it lets it fall to the ground, in order to kill it, and prey upen its carcase. But this

astonishment must, in a great dene I

insert verbatim from a note taken down with my own hand. "When the win are spread, they measure 16 paces (40 feet) in extent, from point to point ; the feathers are 8 paces (20 feet) in length, and the quill part 2 palms (C inches) in circumference. It is said to have powers sufficient to carry off a live rhinoceros." Edmund Temple's Travels m Peru,

A Sunday or two ago, a Baptist minister from Derbyshire being engaged to preach at Sheephead, took for his text the 5th. chapter of Matthew, 4lh. verse, "If any man will sue thee at law, and take away thy coat, let him have thy cloak also." In the course of his sermon, he strenuously enforced the Christian duty of overcoming evil with good; but to his no Utile astonishment, when he was about to enter his gig? which stood in an adjoining yard, he found that his coat and cloak w ere both gone the thief having written on the wall with chalk, "I have taken your cloak, and hope you will give me your coat !"

CINCLXjXATI PRICES curreat.

corrected weekly.

lb lb !b

per ton

9 11 75 14 9

lb

23 37A

10 5 50

9 12 4 23 25 18 CO

pal lb

Ashes, pot, ton, Pearl " Bees1 v.'x Candles, diped Mould Castings

Cigars, Air.er. 1st qual 1GG0

Sp&nish Coffee best qual per lb Cotton per lb Coal, bushel, Corn, do. Meal do. Cntton Yarn, Nos. 5 to 10 lb Feathers live geese St ducks Flaxseed bushel

Flour sup. fresh from wagons bbl 2 50

Fins Ginseng per lb Cunpowder Lexington Ky keg Dupont's ' Hay, ton, Hemp per lb tlops, lb. Lead pig and bar lbLeather sole, Baatern tan lb do Cincinnati ' Calfskins dozen Upper do Iron, Junikta hammered ton Pudled Hoop 6, 8 &. 19d " Kail rods

Mackertl No 1 per bbl No 2 & 3

Molasses, New Orleans Nails, owen's 4d U lOd Juniatta Pittsburgh cimraon

Oats, bushel, Oil, Tanneis, per bbl Linseed gal Paints, Whits lead, in oil, keg Do do dry lb Ited do do 14

Whiting Porter, Pittsburgh, bbl Cincinnati

Provisions, Pork Mess bbl Prime " Lard in barrels lb in kegs Hams, city smoked lb Rags, lb.

Shot per bag 25 lbs. Salt, Tutks is I uid Kenhawa best Conemaugh Sugar, N. Orleans Country Havana white Loaf and Lump

Spirit?, Ccg bram y 4tl p'f gal Peach do do American do do Jamaica IU-m do Holland Gin do

Whiskey nevr Tea3, Gunpowder Imperial Yeunsr Hvson

Tobacco, Ktu. manufactured lb Cincinnati do 44 Tsllorr, tried lb Note for ; add cne half.

FROM TO c cts. g cts. 35 00 100 00 15

10 12 60 00 1 00 10 00 15 11 10 IS 20 25

25 40 2 9S 2 GO 12 6 CO 7 50 8 3 15 O 25 27 26 GO

&

6 13 55 3 25

bush . i lb lb tc

do

lb

26 ( 0 23 GO 150 GO 135 GO 80 CO G0G7 130 GO 1S6 00 10 00 9 00 7 50 G7 8 9

7 20 23 oO 3 30 15 15 O 4 9 O 8 G9 9 GO 7 00 5 7 3 1 75 7 50 50 10 16 19 1 75 63 1 6.1 1 50 IK 1 45 1 Z7 1 GO 7 8 7

Ah 5 6

75

8 6 15 18 50 37 40 17

90 3 7 6

TAKEN UP By John Windsor, of Sparta Township, Dearborn County, Ind. on 29th. of April, 1830

two dark bay mares one of them supposed to be seveo-

teen years old (Lis spring, with a star and a enip on her forehead, and with some saddle marks; also some white oo both bind feet, &nd tvith a shcit deck; supposed to bs 14 hands higb. Appraised at 20dolIars,by Lewis Hume Elias Litteil and the other supposed to bo seven years old this, spring, with a small st3r oo her forehead, with some saddle uaarks and a longish hoof on the left bind foot; supposed to be 14 hands high. Appraised at 15 dollars, by Lewis Hume and Eiias Litteil. A true copy from my eetray book, certified , this 7th day of May 15o0i 19-3 JOHN COLUMBIA, J. P. INDIANA PALLADIUM, PRLVTED AJVD PUBLISHED BY DAVID V. CULLEY, Publisher if ihe Lazes of the United States.

TERMS. The PAL-nrruu is primed weekly, on su. per royal paptr, at THKF.li DULLAliS, ptr annum paid ot the er.d T the year; but whch msy be discharged ly the pt.jrr.ent f '1 Wo DOLLAKS in (iJr;;;;-. or paving TWO DOLLARS snct FIFTY CENTS it ' ih txpirtticn of iiJL- f 'j.;r. ?.

These uhn receive their pspcrs by the mil

Alexander was 60 "crowded" that ! subside, when the diuieniiors cf the - Sf1'7 T1"31 ry the carr.e. other ue it after conquering the world, he wept j bird are taken ito consideration, and j v'l rVlf ll,r ubscnPlicfor another to conquer, iwhich,!ncrcib!croit mnv :5rr,e-n.rnctv 1 tJl'::1 coi.u, inser.