Indiana Palladium, Volume 6, Number 7, Lawrenceburg, Dearborn County, 20 February 1830 — Page 4

From Hood's Comic Annual, ITUTVEBER OI7E. It's rery bard! and to it is, To live io such a row, And witness (bis tbat every Misi Out me bas got a beau. For love goes calling up and down, But here ht seems to shun I'm sure be bas been asked enough To call at Number One! I'm sick of all tbe double knocks Tbat come to Number Pour, At Number Three ! often see A lover at the door; Aod one in blue, at Number Two, Calls daily like a duo, It's very bard they come so near, And not at Number One! 3Ii?s Bell I bear, bas got a dear Exactly to her mind, , By setting at tbe window pane Without a bit of blind; But I go in tbe balcony Which she has never done, Yet arts that thrive at Number Five Don't take at Number One! Tis bard with plenty in the street, And plenty passing by, There's nice young men at Number Ten, But only rather shy; And Mrs. Smith across the way Has got a grown up boo, But la! he hardly seems to know There is a Number One! There's Mr. Wick at Number Nina, But he's intent on Pelf, And thougb he's pious, will not lovo His neighbor as himself. At Number Seven there was a sale And goods bad quite a run! And here I've got my single lot On band at Number One! My mother often sits at work Aod talks of props and stayt, Aod what a comfort I shall ba In ber declining days! The very maids about the bouse Have set me for a nun The sweethearts all belon: to thera Tbat call at Number Oue! Once only when the fiue took fire One Friday afternoon, Young Mr Long came kindly in, And told me not to swoon. Why Can't he come again without The PhoeriX and tb Son? We cannot al-v-iys have a fluo On lire at Nuaioe? One. 3 ara not o!! 1 sou nt plaio; Nor awkward io my gait I am not crooked bke the bride That went from Number Eight I'm sure whites?.? id made hrr look As brown aMi bun But even beauty hs no chance I think at Nunbcr One! At Number Sis (bey say M.ss RoseHas Eiain a score of hearts, And Cupid, for ber sak, bas been Quite prodigal of darts The imp they show with bended bow I wish be had a gun! But if he bad, he'd nerer deign To aboot with Number One. It's very hard? and so if is, To live in such a row! And here's the ballad singer conao To aggravate my wo: O take away your foolish song And tones enough to stun There is 'nae luck about this house,' I know at Number One!"

for that business. They are a mean set pan to roast the Bank one cf these nay?, of fellows and most as cheap as Ohio if it does not behave itself. It must pork before the canals were made; and give Clay his walking p;pers, and dish

yet I understand you were in favour oijup V ebster with oyster sauce. riurk Hpware. erentlemen, beware!! I am more concerned about the anti

The Senate has adopted a rule ex-

auction men than any thing else. They

cludinn- females from the floor, and !an evidently rare leJiows ana aont Know (woulofyou believe it?) I am included injtheir letters. Are they rich? Have (he interdiction. I give the Senators fair ithey a snug fund now a days? I dont of mv intentions. If thev.care a fir about champaigne, and let me

don't repeal that rule, that odious law, j whisper in their ear, that champaigne that Gothic mandate, I mean to appeal (will do them no good in this quarter, to the people thai made them, and by jThe members are not the big A's they

the blood of the Royals, we shall unmake jsuppose them to be. I have been trainthtrr nndn them unfrnrk thpm nndiinf them for several weeks. I have

unsenator them. What right have a et been tr.dtins them out and trotting them of old musty Bachelors, as some of them in every morning, and I think the antiare, atid others merely led by their auction committee will find them ruin-

wives, to exclude from their carpet, thelous versus Turk

A J

Madame De Stael of theatre? I have Sam Patch is here, so you need not

gotsojne pickle in preparation.

The office seekers are coming in by

fifties. They are a troublesome set of fellows and I understand that many

of them are Adams men. Did you ever

hear of such impudence? Adams men

asking for olfice and emolument? Why

i suppose in a short time they will ask

the President to decline, as a particular

favour for the benefit of Mr. Clay.

I se rou

about the United States' Bank. Stock

has fallen you say. Well what of that? Did not I fall the other year in Vermont

and broke my leg? My life was within

an aee of 99 per cent under par, & yet few of the rascally editor mourned over me. You must not be" alarmed about the Bank. Thenezt time I go north, I

mean to look into their vaults and ascertain that all is safe. If they grumble, then let them beware. I am not a wo-

man oi yester-daj' to-day or next

week. I am a woman of a thousand years. My friend the Secretary of the Hartford Convention is also on his knee about the Bank. Tell him from me... from Anne Royal I, that he had better be. on his knees about a certain black affiiir he was concerned in at Hartford. I have heard of that, and I have some

thoughts of writing a book on his trans-

gressions. iou cannot conceive how

busy I am, manufacturing resolutions for

the members. Up comes this one... tother one and a third, Mr. C. "Mrs. Royall, do write a resolution about the

claim of John Dobbin, for a horse."

Madam Royall, I want your aid, I want

a bit ol a resolution about a land claim."

I am actually driven into the necessity of supporting "national education" even a' the risk of offending several of mv

Virginia friends, who say "the thing,

make monodies unon that hero. The

only fault I find with him is that he pute his legs too far through his pantaloons.

There i a fault either in the pantaloons or the legs, but I dont know which. Mr. Webster is not yet come. I or you have been hitting the gentleman hard of late. Beware how you indulge in that propensity ! He is my friend and that ough t. cover him with an aegis of protection. Mr. Holmes of Maine, is here at his post. Some doubts are entertained about his

politics, dont be uneasy. Mr. Holmes is

always with his state. I pity the poor

Adams' men during this winter. If

could remain in Washington, I would

eie solace myself, I would keep them in countenance and save their lives. I understand the Tariff men in your state are gone. They ought to have been dish ed long ago. They are a poor beggarlyset and would starve a whole nation, merely to sell their linsey woolsey at 20

per cent, piofit. I dont believe 1 ever fold ove six black books to Tariff men, arid then I was ch ated out of 2 by bad money. If Tristram Burgess, of Rhode Island, does not give up tbe Tariff, I mean t give him up. So he may look ahead for squall?. Thine forever. ANNE ROYALL.

ACROSTIC. At Freedom's call, to arms he fletr, Now mingled he in bloody fray; Death to Ufir fots. his Eagles threw: Red was the strifr, but proud the day. Each fi-ld dv vic'ory did accord, With glory for biscountry's name; Just va9 tbe cause which biir'd 1ms sword, And jus: hi9 hurl-wrnMh of fame. Calt'd now o'er Freeman to preside, Kindly his country's voice he hears: Still hf'9 her trust, her boast, her pride; On biro abe rests devoid of fear3 Now, for his patriot deeds and zeal, Presides be o'ei the Freeman's weal. LUX MARIS. Anne. Rojal to the J Y. Courier and Enquirer Washington, ?lh D, c. 1829.' My Dearest Gentlemen. That is )ny exordium that is the way I begin. The canting parsons who want to stop the mails, would sav "roy le!oved brethren." I hate h v pocrites, and yet one has to set along with them as well as poss'Me in this place. I can't move around a corner at G .dby's or Brown's ...but I run against hypocrisy. It zanders out in broad d; y...i: circle' itself in lace Sl tassels m d ii'yuu look beneath a large bonnet with r; os'rich's wins on the outside, you can see it simpering and

smiling. I am very angry, and I could even put you gentlemen into my Black Rook with ur. friend Mr. Agaj. By the bye, I ad vise you to treat Agg with courtesv. lie is my particular friend. I give the boy half the idea? he has got. Oh! I only wish 1 had a newspaper! How I should lash, the House cf Representalives for electing that blue beard St. Clair Cbuk! Th?rehe is sitting in the s.ir.e place as usual, and reading over the resolutions of Mr. Crocket and Mr. Chilton. J shut! never forgive the Reps

Mrs. Royall is totally unconstitutional'

Talking of Constitutions some of the members of Alabama and North Carolina are the most unconstitutional folks I ever What do you think of "six feet six inches, in socks,' actually in red worsted sorks. 1 know you will doubt

it in New. York, where you have Fanny

Wright and FeterUwen, but I'll bet my

black book against four hundred shares

of United States' stock, and that is but

an even bet now a days that I am rather under than over truth. Then

there is an Alabama or Louisiana, or some other ana member who will meas ure five feet ten every way backwards forwards upwards or downwards.

This is outrageously unconstitutional.

This is the Congress of great men notwithstanding all that Mr. M;rtind le writes to the Secretary of the Hartford Convention. I want to know from yon if Mai tindale is actually an anti man. It has been so r ported here; but I don't think he has brains enough for such a business. Now there's my admirer Pidneas L. Tracy, who is a pr digy of wisdom and eloquence. When he speaks he will astonish all. No one knows the wonders tha lurks under his cap, till he shake a little of it out. I wish yui would give Gaddy a gentle hint. He has a rascally set of writers, who ought to be well pickled every day. I am rather out with some of the Virginians. They wont buy my book.

Says 1 the ether day to Mr. Ploughshare

Serzing a writ on a Parson. In one f the eastern towns nomatter precisely where, nor prcisely when a gentle

man of the bar was about committing matrimony. The company had assembled, the parson wa3 in attendance, and the bridegroom rose to hand his reverence, the certificate of publication, according to the law, in such cases made and provided. As a lawyer he cculd do wonders before a bench and fury; but this was a new case, he was sadly embarrassed, and after fumbling awhile in his pocket, handed the parson the wrong paper. His reverence glanced his eye over it, and with a good-natured smile, told him he believed he had made a mistake, and handed it back. It happened to be a writ. The poor lawyer was now doubly embarrassed, and fumbling again in his pocket, handed out another paper. After looking at this, the parson

smiled again, bu? seeing the perturhation

of f he matiimonial candidate, forebore to notice a second mistake, and proceeded

to lie the knot. On the morrow the

happy bridegroom was much surprised to rind this second certificate returned to him, with the request of the parson to forward the (rue one. He opened it, and found it was his Taylor's bill! JV. I. Cansteilation,

in December. The conversation turned upon their skill in chopping. Jonathan contended he could cut a log sooner than A. A. thought this was a fair opportunity to get his birch cut, and offered to bet Jonathan a half-pint of New Kng land that he could chop eff the birch in les3 time than he could. Jonathan ac

cepted the challenge, took an old axe,

none of the sharpest, mounted the log in queslien,put to with his whole strength, and in about thirty minutes succeeded in cutting asunder the monstrous eyesore. A. then took his turn, mounted the birch, and after striking two or three blows, with much apparent chagrin dismounted, telling Jonathan he had fairly

wi n the bet, but offered it he would call some warm dav. to double the stake.

Jonathan saw the i kc, and drily remar

ked. that he thought the next bet he

KfMiIrl m ' o oi Minnintr hp should nr

fer to tr) his skill at his own door. Vermont Patriot.

Taking a Whet. A man in Berkshire,

a little given to "whetting his whistle"

stopped at a taveru on his way to market. Having done something mre than ordinaiy justice to the comfortable creature, he fell into a doze after mounting iu's wagon. His horse, with a remarkable instinct, turned about9and took the road homeward, and meeting another wagon while crossing a bridge the two

jostled against each other with so rude a

shock that the sleeper was thrown out of his wagou into the river. He awoke iustantly, exclaiming, "I'll take another whet and then start off." "Drink a little" Drink no longer watei, but use a little wine for the stomach's sake, and thine often infirmities." The following is a good illustration of Piiul'3 advice to Timothy. Professor S. while giving an eegetical lecture

upon the epistles of limothy, came to

the verse here quoted, ihe students imagined that considerable ingenuity would be requisite to eaplain the text so far as to avoid collision with the temper

ance measures. The professor, after the verse was read, observed in substance, as follows "What a remarkable temperate young man Timothy was, that it should require the authority of an inspired apostle to induce him to drink water no longer, but to use a little wine even when his health required it! Veryfew of the present day are so scrupulous as it regards drinking wine.5

How little reason have the friends of

strong drink to quote this advice of Paul to Timothy, while propping up their sinking cause. Black River Gaz.

CLXCLXSAT1 PRICES CURRENT corrected weekly.

Articiis.

FROM g cts.

lb lb !b

per ton

9 11 75 14 12

15 50 5 4 23 25

9 CO

Ashes, pot, ton, Pearl " Bees' wftx Candles, dipt d Mould Castings

Cigars, Aroer. 1st qu&l 1G0O

Spanish 44 Coffee best qual per lb Cotton per lb Coal, bushel, Com, do. Meal do Cotton Tarn, Nos. 5 to 10 lb Feathers live geese & ducks Flazseed bushel

Flour sup. fresh from wacrons bbl 3 7

Fine Ginseng per lb Gunpowder Lexington Ky keg Dupont's Hemp per lb Lead pig and bar lb Leather sole, Eastern tan lb do Cincinnati " Calf skins dozen Upper do Iron, Juniata hammered ton

Pud led Hoop 6, 8 & lCd Nail reds

Mackerel No 1 per bbl No 2 & 3 " .Molasses, New Orleans gal Nails, owen's 4d Sc 10d lb Juniatta Pittsburgh common 41 Oil, Tanners, per bbl

Lsnseed gal Paints, White lead, in oil, ieg Da do dry lb Ked do do " Spanish Bron " Whiting Porter, Pittsburgh, bbl 6 Cincinnati " Provisions, Pork Mess bbl

Prime 44 Lard in barrels lb in kegs " H&rns, city smoked lb Eutter 1st qual 44

Cheese 1st qual Rags, lb.

Shot per bag 25 lbs. Salt, Turks island Kenhawa best Conemaugh Sugar, N. Orleans Havana white Loaf and Lump

Spirits, Cog. brandy 4th p'f gal Peach do do American do do Jamaica Rum do Hollaud Gin do Whiskey new do

Teas, Gunpowder Imperial

Young Hyson 44 Tobacco, Ken. manufactured lb Cincinnati do 44 Tallow, tried lb NoT2 Tor h add one naif.

TO cts

95 00 lo'O 00 13 10 12 60 03 1 00 10 CO 15 13 10 13 2i 25 25

40 4 00 3 50 1$ 6 CO 7 50 7 0 25 27

18 00 26 00 26 00 30 00 130 00 135 00 80 C3 100 07 130 00 126 00 10 00

8 00 sr 8 9 7

00 60

3 25

bush lb

3A 5 6 6 7

8 15 18 L 50 37 40 21

95 o 7 6

15 15 0 4 9 O 8 90 8 50 6 00 4

7 8 8 3 75 CO

68 63 10 16 19 1 75 62ft 75 1 62 1 59 23

1 1

37 00 7 8

Anecdote. U.icta Sam and his son were one day leturnitig from their labors in the fit-Id with a lusty load of hay. Jonathan drove, the team, and, as he frequently manifested a very wifarmcrlike ward of tact in managing his cattle, nis father thought it necessary, when they came to the gate which closed the entrance to the farm-yard, to give him a word of caution. "B tarnation careful

how you drive now, Jock." Jor k whip

ped up and drove plump against the

gate post. "Hullo ho hu7v too." Jonathan accordingly hazved too, and in so

doirg, the wheel came in full contact with the oppusste post. "There there, I guessed how't would be you couldn't

Dnmken Husbands. We may canvass the world for viciims of wo; go down into the solitude of the dungeon, where the light of heaven has never gladdened the eyes of a prisoner, nor its pure air entered to relieve his labored breath; accurately measure the suffering of those who bleed under the lash of the task master, or groan nnder the iron bondage of op

pressions but where, shall one be found.

deserving more commiseration than the female who is doomed to waste an existence with a drunken husband? What horror, to live through life with a monster, whose heart is filled with bitterness, whose lips with cursing! with a wretch sunk below the brute creation in his uncleanly habits and outrageous conduct; possessing the obstrucness of anass without his instinct ; lost to every thing ennobling, beautiful and glorious; having vitality enough to signify existence, without the conciousness of accountabilitv to

God or man! And yet, what numbers of

helpless forlorn wives in almost every village, nnd town, and city, are pining undei this accursed connexion.

"mister wont yon buy thisbookH5 thSh creation mthout hiilinSb&

What do you think he said? "I dont

buy libels." I do sometimes think and seriously think that Virginia and New York are the two largest and meanest states in the Union. Your state is the birth place of anti masonry, and Virginia wont let every white man vote. Why 'he thing is utterly irreconcilable with Mo' tesquieu and every writer on metaphysics I ever read. It is abominable... it is unheard nf. I h nve sninpf i rope

Happiness in store. Sir Gervas Clifton of Yorkshire, (near Leed?) was "blessed with seven wives," so the epilogue of his own writings says: The first three, who were maidens, he calls "honorable;" the second three, who were widows, he calls "worshipful ;" and the seventh, who was a servant maid, bom

under his own roof, he calls his "well be

thought that Mr. Randolph was nVht in ,0VetK" :1cn the six agreed to the

wishing to "let well enough ahne,'' asjmarrine uf Ihe next, bt fore her death. Alderman Binns railed the re electiona,lc at lnat nwful period were attended of John Quincv: hut ever cinro a Vir-i " hoAr sncce.-sors. Sir Gervas had sev-

jginian M. C. refused to huy my book, le,al children by the last wife, some of

began to think that "Mr. Let well enough

alone" ought not to be let nlr-rc. Suppose I had done nothing.... writ ten nothing to enlighten the world; where would

we all have been now? I wish Mr. Ro-i

hprf Wnlsh nf Phil.'idrdnh? n . iwmM ..n.'flrPHn Minmlni. rumrc .A .

swer that question. Walsh I understand daige birch log to his door, gnarly as the

whose decendants now ei joy the famiU

i state. He lies buiied at the head of Ins wives. English Paper.

I Profitable Btt. Mr. A. one of our

is very querulous about the U. States

Dank. Toil him if you fall in with him, to mind his review and ids grammar and let the Bank alone. I mean to settle that business when the time comes. My friend Judge Fonnan is making a frying

gnarled oak; it had laid exposed to the un during the summer, he not havinn i i . , . t

uift disposmon io cut it suitable lor bur uingin his tire place. Jonathan, one ol his neighbors, a real bruiser, called to borrow an axe. on a clear cold morning

The humble current of little kindness-

Dr. Thomas White's Vegetable Tooth-Ache Drops. THE only Specifii evtr offered to the public JL from which a peraaanent and radical cure may be obtained of that disagreeable pain the tooth ache with all its attendant evils; such as fracturing-the jaw in eitractm of tbe tteth, which often proves more painful than the tooth ache itself; and cold passing- from the decaying teeth to thf jw thence to the head, producing a rheumatic affection with many oiher unpleas. ant tffects, such as a disagreeable breath, bad taste in the mouth, fc.c. &c. all of which are pro duced from foul or decaying teeth 1 m happy in having it in my power to offer to the wot Id a remedy, that will not only remove the pain, huts preserve the teeth from further decay. (9 time

I r x .out of 10 if properly applied,) and arrest the

disease in such as are decaying, and hkva xo commenced aching, restoring thera to hsalth ani usefulness' CERTIFICATE. Mr. Thomas 11 Kite: I have the pleasure to inform you. that agreeable to your request, I have been using your tooth ache drops in my practice for sometime past, and I must acknowledge that I nd them far superior to any thing 1 haTC ever yet known tor that pupoae. You are entirely safe in recommending thera to cure nine times out of ten, for, from the success I hare had, I believe your recommendation falls short of their merits. I am well convinced, that it will cure most cases of the tooth ache, when it is timely and properly applied 1 am not able to pay much at this time as to its preservative properties bu from what 1 havs seen of your teeth that have been long cured and preserved from decaying, and from a few weeks experience, 1 am decidedly of the opinion, that it will have a very beneficial effect in preserving the teeth ; and recom

mend it, hoping that it may prove a blessing to

, : i , ii j kni r. : I . .1 I . . ' . " . J 1 . .. O

(Yim.il, iiju uuia uit uiiug btreamiei,: humanity, ana atlTantafrfous to yourself.

ith rf spect, I remain yours, &r. VM, I. A. B1K KEY.

Surgeon Dtr.tist,

incessantly flows; although it glides in si

lent secrecy within the domestic wall?, and along the walks of private life, and makes neither appearance nor noi?e in the world; pours, in the end, a more copious tribute into the store of human comfort and felicity, than any sudden and transient flood of detached bounty,

however ample, that may ru?h into it with a mighty sound.

No. 99, South fifth Street Philadelphia Pa.

Zefit. 12. 1829.

gCT For sale by Satr.utl Morrison, Larrretjeeburgh. Price 50 cents per phial. 52 Flour, Corn meal, Flax-seed, Tallow,

Put to a shift for an answer. "Pray,'ym rnpoiv! iln nfT.

M s . Sophia, what are you making?"! . P . . said a Dr. , to a young lady who!121 payment of Subscriptions was at work upon a garment of a certainj and other debts.

INDIANA PALLADIUM, PRINTED AND PUBLISHED

tor," was the reply.

A Quandary. "I knows well enough," j

paid a fellow, "where fresh n?h comes from but where they catch these'erc salt fish, Til be hanged if I . an tell'

Astray Taken up, fT th.. lilh nf .Tannnrv. lRO.

- - j - - j . - - i - - f township. Dearborn ct-untv. Intli-

S3 stun, a HIIIHHT Sm'F.I. HDU'nF.

supposed to be four yeurs old last spring, about 14 1-2 hands high, with a bald fnce, both hind l.ga white; no other brands or marks perceivable. Appraised at 30 do-Urs, by Lewis Hume nd Asa Jaccon Giver, tin ev my hand tnd seal this 20th day cf January 1S"0. 4 JOUN roVu.MlIIA, j. p (seal )

RY DAID OULLEY, Publisher of the Lazi-s of the United States TERMS. The PAixArxr-v is printed weekly, cn superroyal paper, at TIHlEB DOLL Alt, ptr annum, paid at the end of the year; but hch may be discharged by the payment of TWO DOLLARS it aavanc?, or by payirg TWO DOLLAHS and FIFTY OLNTS fet the expiration of j-.r n.jrf.?. Those who receive their papers by the msil carrier, rr cist pay the carriage, otherwise it will be charged o their subscription. AnVKRTISF.MF.NTS corspicocusly inserted on rcasoiiatli terics.

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