Indianapolis Recorder, Indianapolis, Marion County, 9 January 2004 — Page 22

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C SECTION FRIDAY, JANUARY 9, 2004

PARENTING TIPS FROM THE DESK OF JADA 10 methods to lovingly address behavior problems (FeatureSource) — Any parent knows that there are times when kids act up. They get attitudes. They behave badly. Kids will be kids, but there are good ways to deal with troubling behavior. Fortunately, V.A. McCloud, author of Hanest of Souls Crossover (Lifevest Publishing, $16.95 at McCloudAssociates.com) shares these 10 methods to lovingly address behavior problems. (1) Remain Ijljj® jMrJ calm. To he the most elteetive. remain I* J Getting angiy - J only increases t ^ ie intensity of the situation. (2) Take a minute. If you are unable to remain calm, perhaps because you are facing a repeated behavior problem, give yourself some time to refocus and regain control. (3) Listen first "Seek first to understand, then to be understood.” Listen without interrupting and shoeing negative emotions. Find out the reality instead of just believing your perception. (4) Praise often. Give your children positive reinforcement when they show improvement with a specific behavior problem. (5) Be clear about your expectations. Kids aren't mind readers. Tell them what they did (name the behavior), and explain why it is not appropriate. Redirect the situation to what you expect from them in future situations. ,(6) Be firm, fair and consistent Be firm with your feedback, but don’t forget the power of love w hen it comes to positively influencing behavior. You can hate the behavior and yet still show your children that you love them. Negative reinforcement should be used to change behavior, not to punish the child. Remember also that consistency counts. If you vacillate, you will only confuse the issue. (7) Have a plan. Parents should always have a disciplinary plan before an incident and follow it. If you have a plan, you won’t lose your temper because you know what you need to do and are prepared to do it. (8) Show your love. Always communicate love and trust when redirecting your child's behavior. Tell your children that you love them and use other reassuring words. Show your love as well as say it. Hug your child often. Spend quality time with your kids. One very effective way to enjoy family time is to read together. (9) Be a role model. Seek to be your child’s role model by exemplifying appropriate behavior. For example, you cannot teach your child to be honest if you aren’t honest. Remember to be a role model in the smaller issues too. Your pretending not to be home when Avon calls has the same negative effect on them as your lying to authority figures. (10) Present positive alternatives. Instill in your children positive alternatives to negative behavior, so they will not feel trapped by destructive behavior. Bonus method: Don’t he too hard on yourself. Parenting is the hardest job in the world. The methods above, however, can be used to make the job a little easier.

Accomplished educator enjoys surprise 80 th birthday party

Last week family and friends gathered to celebrate the 80 th birthday of Dr. Martha Conner Mitchell, founder of Building Blocks Academy and the Indianapolis Black Alumni Council. Above: Mitchell is shown with (from left) Damon Boyd, Billy Smith and Bobby Smith.

Stacia Gray spoke about Mitchell’s personal and professional accomplishments.

Katie Johnson offered Friends and well wishers encouraging words lor congratulated Mitchell for 80 a " «‘ ,uca, ” r . vears of life and achievement. ,au ’ h ‘ i" '"J' a " a P»" a . A '"' a and at Stanford University.

Roger Brown was among those who joined Mitchell in the festivities. (Photos/P. Weir)

Alpha Chi Pi Omega Sorority honors founder Elizabeth Williams

The Alpha Chi Pi Omega Sorority, Delta Chi Delta Chapter in Indianapolis honored their founder Elizabeth Williams (right). Leona Williams (left) and Pearl Washington present a plague

and a rose to the founder. Williams brought the Ebony Fashion Fair to Indianapolis and 45 years later, it is still presented annually.

Members of the Alpha Chi Pi Omega Sorority stand at the Indiana Convention Center where they honored the founder of the sorority. Congresswoman Julia Carson also made an appearance. (Photos/C. Guynn)

rey Buford rectntly celebrated their 90“ ' ilversery. The couple renewed their vows during l’y at a church In Las Vegas, ftuford and the former Igoshins were married in 1953. They are the proud of Debra Petty and Daryl Buford and have four

Indy’s first Black baby born in 2004

Anthony Maurice Smith Jr. was the first African-American baby born in Indianapolis in 2004. Smith was born Jan. 1 at 12:53 a.m. at Wishard Memorial Hospital to Connie Dowell and Anthony Smith Sr. (Photo/C. Guynn)

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