Indianapolis Recorder, Indianapolis, Marion County, 26 March 1994 — Page 3
frAlURUAV. MARCH 26,1994
Opinions
Where are all the good Black men?
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By STEPHEN B.
JOHNSON
Television shows have addressed the issue. Members of the community have addressed the issue. You hear about it in songs constantly played on the radio and in videos, which are being talked about around water coolers in break rooms at work. Where are all the good Black men? Why can’t I find a good strong
Black man?
The answer to these questions are easy, there are good quality Black men within our community, on our jobs
and in our churches.
The real questions which are why don’t Black women appreciate Black men? Or, why do Black women take
kindness for a weakness? / When I was a young man my mother always told me to treat everyone (especially Black women) with kindness and respect because you never know when, under any circumstance, you
might need that person.
The same statement could be used when looking at your spouse, partner, significant other or when trying to start a new relationship. Look at the person as an equal instead of taking a superior-type role in a relationship by putting and looking down
upon that person.
I know a lot of Black women have had bad experiences or have been mistreated in relationships by Black men and I understand, but you can not put all Black men in the same category. We are all individuals and every man deserves an opportunity to be proven as a “dog” or a “no good man” and not categorized as one according to past experiences and
relationships.
If Black women do or have done this, you are or could be cheating yourself out of the possibility of meeting someone who can be nice and understanding to you. We all take chances in life. In the morning when we leave our homes there is no guarantee we will make it back home, it is totally the grace of God that we do. Why would you not take a chance on happiness and try to get to know a person instead of putting all men in the same category. Nobody is perfect. We are all human and we do make mistakes. So Black women can not expect Black men to be perfect in every way. All we can do is trust and understand each others needs and be supportive. What one woman won't do... I see African-American males as strong, virile, confident and struggling in a society filled with enemies who have and continue to exploit them. And although times have changed in many regards, Black men seem to be faced with yet another enemy - Black
women.
Not to side with men, but I am a firm
believer that when Black women realize just where the Black man has come from, where he is going and the struggle is not his but ours, then there will be more happy and harmonious
relationships between the two. The fact is, according to statistics,
there is an estimated 30 million single women in the United States and only 21.5 million single men. Obviously men have and are using these statistics to their
advantage.
On occasion I have heard men utter, “What one woman won’t do another one will.” Such a statement could be attributed to why many women refer to men as “dogs.” Men know they have a choice of any woman, so they feel why take crap from them. Consider this, men will act accordingly in relationships. Translated, men will so do what we allow them to do! So men, to you I say understand women and know that you cannot possess everything (who can?) Understand Black man, we are human and have frailties and make mistakes as you. Understand and accept Black man, you want to be loved, but are often times afraid. As I’ve said before, it’s time for Black men and women to cut the bull and realize we are two separate individuals. It doesn’t take another to make you happy, happiness comes from within. And yes there are still some quality Black men in our society who are ready and willing to have a meaningful relationship, if we both are honest as to what it is we really want.
By CONNIE
GAINES HAYES
WRITING TO THE INDIANAPOLIS RECORDER
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The Indianapolis Recorder P.0. Box 18499 Indianapolis, Ind. 46218-0499
Children lace tougher decisions today than long ago
I used to get comfort out of knowing this world would be left for the children to lead. As a child I pictured no more wars, no guns, enough money and love for everyone. Through my childish eyes I saw peace, happiness and justice for all. But what happened? When did my child-like innocence turn into a cold reality that left me frightened whenever I heard the statement “the children are our future?” My realization of the state of our children didn’t occur until I was older. I am now able to grasp the vast difference of being a child now as opposed to when I read and wrote everyday. I probably watched T.V. no more than an hour an evening. The hardest choice I remember making as a child was whether or not to dissect a frog. The crudest prank I played on someone was putting bubblegum on the seat of their chair. Choices for children today extend far beyond a frog. Children’s choices today are based on factors sometimes beyond their control. Children today are faced with parents that abuse drug and alcohol, those that sexually, physically and mentally abuse, or no parents at all. Children are using and selling drugs. They are bringing lives
into this world and ending lives. They are being reared in environments that are infested with disrespect and hatred. So what’s a child to do? What’s a child that hasn’t been infested yet to do? As always, we as adults must intercede. We shouldn’t be determined only to save our offspring, but the* children in our neighborhoods as well. Having seven children to raise (five of which are sons),
incorruptibly in a corrupt neighborhood is a constant battle. I must spread what I am teaching my children into the neighborhoods as well. For what logic is there in teaching only my own children respect for others when the children they play with go astray? Somewhere down the line my child just may come in contact with the child that wasn’t taught, by looking down the barrel of his gun. As a child when I was taken
to Sunday School or to the library during the week, my peers were invited to come along too. Do you know of a child that’s home alone for a few hours before his mother comes in from work? Invite that child into your home for some kindness. We must start somewhere trying to save the children. ') We’ve got to become like Jesus...Suffer little children and forbid them not, to come unto me... (Matthew 19:14)
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BETWEEN A RENTER AND AN OWNER IS WHOGETS YOUR "CHECK.
Cvery month millions of Americans put their hard earned money into their landlords’ pocket, instead of putting it toward their future. Why? Because they didn’t know that for about what they're paying in rent, they could buy a home of their own.
FOR ABOUT WHAT YOU’RE PAYING IN RENT, YOU CAN BUY THE HOME OF YOUR DREAMS.
Right now the U.S. Department of Houeing and Urban Development (HUD) has lots of affordable homes available. Many require very low down payments. and are eligible for FHA-insured financing. HUD will even pay most, if not all. of your closing costs. And these homes are just waiting for you. Call a local real estate agent for more details, today. Or for a free brochure on how to buy a HUD home, cell 1-QOO-7B7- AHUD And begin putting your check into a great investment, not your landlord’s pocket.
WE’LL HELP 'tOU OWN A PIECE OF AMERICA.
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