The Independent-News, Volume 120, Number 19, Walkerton, St. Joseph County, 22 September 1994 — Page 12

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- THE INDEPENDENT NEWS — SEPTEMBER 22, 1994

Dear Diane by Diane Van Arsdale

DEAR DIANE: I had been going out with this guy for a year or so. We broke up and he started going with someone else but she didn't turn out to be his type. They go to the same school and they seemed to have a lot in common but it didn’t work out. Now he claims he doesn't like her but we are both pregnant. He comes over and we talk. When I ask him about her, he says he has no feelings for her but he is going to take care of the baby. She calls his mother and tells her that he is spending too much time with me and not helping her. Also, she goes over there and goes places with his mother. He told me about her doing these things to get in good with his mother. My problem is, I don't know if I should take him back because she is always going to be coming around even if she has a man of her own. I think that she can’t get over him or just doesn't want him to be with anvone else. IN THE MIDDLE DEAR MIDDLE: While I realize what's done is done, I feel I must lecture you about safe sex. At your age (I gather you’re all in school), you should know how to protect yourselves from disease and pregnancy. In the future, make sure you practice safe sex. As you're about to find out, being a parent is a very tough job. This guy is no prize He’s gotten two girls pregnant. He obviously can’t care much about either one of you since he didn't use condoms in the first place. Dump him. You’re better off without him. However, since he’s the father of your baby, make sure he takes financial responsibility. I wish you luck. You’re going to need it. Etiquette means behaving your self a little better than is absolutely essential.

Coupon Corner by Marla Armbrust

TIP OF THE WEEK: I realize that it’s only the middle of September, but it’s not too early to start thinking about holiday gift shopping. I have an inexpensive way of picking up stocking stuffers that you might want to try Besides cash back or coupons, lots of refund offers feature things such as t-shirts, caps, stuffed toys, etc This is a great way of both saving money and doing some holiday gift shopping at the same time. Lots of times, these items are not available in retail stores, which makes them extra special in a way. I will list as many as I can between now and November Happy shopping! Here are this week's offers: GROLIER BOOKS, P.O. Box 1771, Sherman Turnpike, Danbury, Conn 06816-1771 (receive a free children's book, “Perry's Not So Perfect Day"). Send in your dated cash register receipt from the purchase of two packages of Baby Wipes Store form required. Expires 9/30/94 or while supplies last NESTLE QUIK LION KING, FLIP BOOK OFFER, P.O. Box 2756, Young America, Minn. 55553-2756 (receive a free Lion King Flip book) Send $1 handling fee (check or money order only) along with the UPC symbol from Nestle Quik Powder or Syrup. Form expires 9/30/94. However, a form is not necessary since it says you may use a plain piece of paper to process your request. REAL CALIFORNIA CHEESE MINI-COOLER OFFER, P O Box 1136. Grand Rapids, Minn.

Dear Dex by Dexter Dyer

DEAR DEX: I am a college freshman and I board at the school. I know it’s only been a few weeks but I’m having a hard lune adjusting here. College is so different from high school. There are a lot more students and they don’t seem really friendly at all. As for the teachers, 1 feel that they really don't care about us. They simply stand up there and throw out information, give assignments and tests and that’s it. There’s no real communication. I don’t find the classwork especially difficult, so 1 guess you could say I’m lucky that way. 1 also am lucky enough to have a football scholarship. However, I’m terribly unhappy and I’m considering dropping out. I know that would really disappoint my parents but I just know I can’t stay here for four years like this. At this point, I think I’d be happier getting a job and maybe attending classes at night somewhere near my home. I just don’t know how to broach this with my folks. How do you think I should go about telling them? DEPRESSED ■LiiHI DEAR DEPRESSED: The adjustment to college life can be very difficult However, I also think it can be the most exciting, challenging time in your life, if you give it some effort. Instead of dropping out, why not talk to your adviser about what you’re experiencing? He or she will probably have some very good suggestions on how you can cope while you’re adjusting to your >, new life. Also, get involved in some social activities on campus. Joining a fraternity is an excellent way to make friends and ease your loneliness. Also, reach out to the other guys on the team. Some of them may be just as lonely only you're all afraid to say anything. Please, give this some more time. I know you won’t be sorry

55745-1136 (receive a free mini cooler). Send in a $2 handling fee (check or money order only), your cash register receipt and “Real California Cheese" seals from three cheese packages. Your cash register receipt must be dated by 9/10/94. Store form required. Must be received by 9/30/94. SURF/SOCCER CARD OFFER, P.O Box 2039, Young America, Minn. 55553-2039 (receive free Upper Deck Soccer Cards) Send in your cash register receipt along with either the UPC symbol from Ultra Surf or the UPC number written on the back of your cash register receipt from the purchase of Double Power Surf Liquid Laundry Deiergent. Newspaper insert form required Expires 9/30/94 EVEREADY HEARING AID BATTERY REFUND, P O Box 18481, HFOO6, Mascoutah, 111. 62224 (receive $4). Send in your cash register receipt along with four Eveready HearWcll Premium Zinc Air Hearing Aid battery POP symbols Store form required. Expires 9/30/94

Health & Nutrition by Judith Sheldon

STEAL FOR LIFE? As readers of this column know, I continually find reasons for’you to stop smoking. Cigarettes can cause everything from male impotency to cancers, to cardiovascular problems-, to respiratory ailments, to immune system failure, etc. Second-hand smoke has been linked to children's ailments, and is indicated as one possible cause of SIDS, sudden infant death syndrome. I would welcome any suggestion to help make our environment smoke-free. However, I cannot agree with a suggestion from a noted government expert and anti-smoking advocate that children steal their parents' cigarettes and in their place, put a booklet on the harmful effects of smoking on both parents and children. My feeling is that it would be better for the youngsters to wrap the cigarette pack or carton in the publication, with a handwritten letter from the children begging their parent or parents to stop smoking for the sake of everyone in the family. Stealing from parents, or anyone — even if it's stealing life-robbing cigarettes — is basically wrong. At least, that's how I feel Please let me know if you agree or disagree. Does the end always justify the means? I wonder. 1. Natural Born Killers starring Woody Harrelson 2. Clear and Present Danger Harrison Ford 3. Forrest Gump Tom Hanks 4. Corrina, Corrina Whoopi Goldberg 5. The Mask Jim Caney 6. Milk Money Melanie Griffith 7. Camp Nowhere Christopher Lloyd , 8. Color of Night Bruce Willis । 9. True Lies Arnold Schwar- , zenegger 10. Lion King

——-— — Entertainment Extra by Evelyn Ludvigson

Q. I would like to know if it *s true that Woody Harrelson, who plays a mass killer in the Oliver Stone movie, “Natural Born Killers,” really has a father who was convicted of murder. If so, was this why he chose to do the movie? Mort B. A. Woody’s father was convicted of killing someone. He was asked the same question by a television interviewer who suggested taking the role was sort of cleansing for him. Woody said he took the role for one reason: to work with the unconventional, somewhat quirky, but undoubtedly ingenious, Oliver Stone. Q. I know this is going to be hard to believe but a friend said that Madonna was going to go into a convent when she turns 40. What do you know about it, Evelyn? Erin O’G. A. I know that miracles happen all the time, so who am 1 to say it’s unlikely? Seriously, I heard the same rumor some years ago about Mia Farrow. Q. What happened to Judith Light’s new ABC show, “Phenom”? I thought it was pretty good, especially since it was the only show on TV that dealt with young people in sports. Renee L. A. ABC decided that since “Phenom’s" ratings were less than phenomenal, they would take it out of production. Q. Did Warren Beatty ever make a movie about the late and great Humphrey Bogart? I understand he planned to do this, but Bogie’s widow, Lauren Bacall said no. Lew A. A. Beatty never made that flick, nor am I aware that he actually planned to, although he’s said to be a great admirer of Bogie. As for Bacall, I doubt if she could actually stop anyone from making a movie about her late husband She might not cooperate but there would be lots of other folks eager and happy to do

Carl Rowan’s Commentary |

I am astounded daily by the rape stories that blare forth from the eight newspapers that I read. In the Chicago Sun-Times I read of the indictment of Congressman Mel Reynolds, a Chicago Democrat, on 20 counts, including statutory rape. Cries of racial discrimination surround this case In The Washington Post I read of Alphonso Quinn, the 37-year-old “crossbow rapist" who was convicted on Aug 12 of using this antique weapon in a Bowie, Md., rape — and who is now on trial for allegedly using both his crossbow and an AK 47 assault rifle in forcing a 31 -yearold Greenbelt, Md., man to lie quietly on the bed while Quinn raped his wife. Shocking, dismaying “news of the day" about the brutal, dismaying crime of rape in America But these stories are not so shocking to me as a recent report by the Justice Department’s Bureau of Justice Statistics about the number of rapes of young girls. This first major law enforcement study of the extent of rapes of young girls showed that of some 21,000 rape victims in the study, about half were under age 18. Nearly one out of every six rape victims WAS UNDER THE AGE OF 12. Conductors of this study, which covered 11 states and the District of Columbia, report that as shocking as these figures are, they surely understate the problem of rapes of very young girls. That is because the younger the victim, the less likely die is to report rape because the perpetrator is often a family member or friend. Another reason is that children who report rape are less likely to be believed than adults. The Justice Department findings The people who get on in thia world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want, and, if they can’t find them, make them. * —George Bernard Sfcaw

SO. Q. How does Roseanne feel about the movies they’re making about her and her estranged husband, Tom Arnold? Terri S. A. Can you say livid? She doesn’t like it, but then, people who live in glass houses where their private lives are open to everyone shouldn't complain if they become the stuff of fast flicks. Q. When I was in Florida recently, someone I’ve known for years, and who is related to Burt Reynolds, said he believed Burt wanted to patch things up with Loni Anderson. Is this true? Marge B. A. My sources tell me even if Burt felt this way— which, I'm assured, he does not — Loni wouldn't go along with it. Q. Some time ago, you wrote that some of the original “Cheers" cast members were willing to gueststar on Kelsey Grammer’s show, “Frasier.” I think that would be great but I’m more interested in knowing whether Bebe Neuwirth was going to guest on the show again, as she did last season. Do you know anything about this? Mike R, H w 9 H S. > W* w ■DSnHffi" ..tJ A. Bebe, who played Frasier’s exwife Lilith, is indeed going to be

■ Mw Sfe * A 1 bolster a 1991 study of three states which found that 46 percent of victims under the age of 12 were raped by a family member and another 50 percent were raped by an acquaintance. That survey found that among the youngest group of female victims one out of every five was raped by her father. We teach young children to beware of strangers. But this study shows that strangers account for just four percent of rapes of girls under 12,15 percent of sexual assaults against 12to 17-year-old females and 33 per cent of women 18 and over. I recalled that Justice Department study after reading that under the threat of losing $3 billion in federal funds the state of Louisiana had agreed to permit Medicaid abortions for pregnant victims of rape and incest. One wonders what sort of politician must be coerced to agree that a 13-year-old victim of rape or incest ought not be forced to give birth to a baby. Our society rightly moves harshly against preachers and teachers, politicians and priests who abuse their special powers to violate women. But we ought to find ways to consign to a special hot spot in Hell for those relatives and friends who rape girls under age 12. King F—tur— Synd Although the Constitution requires U.S. Senators to be at least 30 years old, in 1806 Henry Clay of Kentucky was appointed to fill an unexpired term wbea <miy JO.

* W I. i ' ■ V ASK EVELYN doing some guest shots on the show this season I’m told that her character is set to appear in a few episodes, not just one. Now that she’s no longer playing Lola in Broadway's revival of “Damn Yankees," she's free to pursue whatever she pleases. Q. I used to love Stiller and Meara when they were on the old “Ed Sullivan” show. Whatever happened to them? Are they still married? Are they still in show business? It seems you never hear about them anymore. Carolyn V. A. While they haven’t been seen as a team recently, both are still very active in show business. Jerry Stiller has a recurring role as George's (Jason Alexander) father on “Seinfeld. Anne Meara also does a recurring role on the ABC soap, “All My Children,” as Peggy, Dimitri’s (Michael Nader) housekeeper. Some years back, there was talk of trouble in the mamage when it appeared that Anne’s solo career was taking off better than her husband’s. The rumor was that she put the brakes on because she considered her marriage more important than acting. Since they’re still together, she apparently made the right decision. By the way, the two are the proud parents of Ben Stiller who’s making ® big splash in Hollywood these days.