The Independent-News, Volume 100, Number 6, Walkerton, St. Joseph County, 6 September 1973 — Page 18

Replies from Swampy. . . the hun Yes, Snipe hunting is an age-old sport.

As part of the women’s lib thing, the girls are invading the haunts of the hunter. And as they assume their places in the duck blinds and the hunting camps, they are confronted with problems from time to time. Unfamiliar situations arise and the ladies are left in doubt as to just how they should conduct themselves. In trying to find solutions to such problems, the women sometimes turn to outdoor writers and editors, seeking their advice on a multitude of subjects. As a service to readers, the following is a list of the most commonly asked questions, along with a set of answers as compiled by an experienced duck hunter, deer chaser and outdoor journalist, known to his followers as “Swampy.”

dk. % Dear Swampy: Can you please tell me what is the proper expression to use just after missing a very easy shot at a duck. Since I have been going along on hunting trips with my husband and some of his friends, I have heard them use a number of somewhat unusual phrases on the occasion of missed shoes. None of these phrases, however, seem to capture the total essence of the moment. Signed, Speechless Dear Speechless: Upon missing an easy shot at a duck, I advise you to say, “Oh, goodie. There goes one we don't have to pick and clean.” Swampy 'Ai: Dear Swampy: Recently when my husband’s dog was laid up with a sore leg, my husband invited me to go along with him on a duck hunting trip. Every time he shot a duck he would turn to me and shout, “FETCH!” Finally he became angry with me and said he was never going to take me hunting again. What did I do wrong? Signed, Puzzled Dear Puzzled: Your husband was, of course, trying to teach you how to retrieve dead ducks. It is unfortunate that he did not explain this to you, but some hunters feel that retrieving should be an instinctive thing and should not have to be taught. Apologize to your husband for your ignorance, and beg him to give you another chance. Swampy

Dear Swampy: Recently my husband and I crawled through a muddy cornfield together trying to sneak up on a flock of mallards. After we had crawled about a half a mile, the ducks jumped up into the air and flew away before we could get close enough to shoot at them. My husband cursed and said, “I knew they were going to do that.” My question.is, if he knew the ducks were going to fly away before we could shoot at them, why in the world did we crawl across that muddy cornfield? Signed, Soiled Dear Soiled: A lot of people go through this crawling-in-the-mud ritual in the autumn. It is an activity that defies logical explanation, but is thought to be a throwback to earliest times when creatures were crawling out of the sea. And remember this, if your husband is crawling in the mud with you he isn’t off somewhere fooling around with another woman. Swampy Dear Swampy: While out coon hunting with my husband and several of his friends one night I fell into a sinkhole and was unable to pull myself out. I shouted for help and my husband and his friends came and looked at me and said it would take too much time aw’ay from the hunt to pull me out right then, but that they would come back for me first thing in the morning, which they did. What I want to know, is, should I be offended because they left me in the sinkhole all night? Signed, Mildewed Dear Mildewed: Os course you shouldn't be offended. After all, they did come back for you, didn’t they! Do you want to be thought of as a spoil sport? Swampy

Dear Swampy: During the deer season last year a male hunting companion said he w r ould put me on a deer stand. He took me out into the woods and told me to sit on a stump, and then he left. After a while I started thinking about how, if I was supposed to be on a deer stand, why had I been told to sit? I mean, how can you sit on a stand? I spent the rest of the day sitting for a few moments and then standing for a few moments and then sitting again and so on. I just couldn’t decide what was the right thing to do. What should I have done and why didn’t any deer pass by?” Signed, Standee Dear Standee: A stand is simply a place to wait for a deer, and this can be done in whatever position is found to be most comfortable. However, the more comfortable you are, the more likely you arc to fall asleep, which is inevitably when the deer passes by. The reason no deer came past your stand is that you didn’t fall asleep. Swampy \v W*ll Dear Swampy: Last year in a deer hunting camp where I was the only woman, we played cards in the evening. Poker. My question is, if a full house beats two pair sometimes, why doesn’t it beat two pair all of the time? Signed, Loser Dear Loser: Poker is the kind of a card game that has one set of rules for men and another set for women. What might have appeared to you as an inconsistency was simply the result of the game being played under the two sets of rules which is according to Hoyle. Swampy