Indianapolis Journal, Volume 54, Number 94, Indianapolis, Marion County, 3 April 1904 — Page 14

TIIE INDIANAPOLIS JOURNAL, SUNDAY, A PHIL 3, 1904.

-ART TWO.'

TIIE SUNDAY JOURNAL SUNDAY, APRiL 3. 19C4.

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Daily edition, one year $5 Laiiy and Sunday, one year Sunday osiy, od year 2-h) Weekly Edition. je One copy, one year 11.00 One copy, six months SO cents On cony, three months 25 cents No ubscriptioa taken for k-is than three months. Subcrl!e with any of oar numerous agents or end subscription to m iM.lA.AiOLIi JOURNAL rtEWSPAPER CO. IuillanapolUi Ind. Persons sending the Journal through the malls fa the United States should put on an eight or a twelve-pa- paper a 1-cmt is tamp; oa a sixteen, twenty w twtnty-four-page paper, a 2-cent stamp. Foreign postage U usually double the ' rates. All communications Intended for publication In this paper must, in orcer to receive attention, be accompanied by the name and address of the writer. Rejected manusctlpts will not be returned unless postage Is Inclosed for that purpose. Entered s teoond-class matter at Indianapolis, Ind., poitoCice. THE INDIANAPOLIS JOLIIXAL Can be found at the following places: CHICAGO 1'aJmer Houa. Auditorium Annex Hotel, Dearborn Station Newa Staad. CJNCINNATI-J. R. Hawley & Co.. Arcade, Grand iioteL COLUMBUS, O. Viaduct News Stand, 330 High street. DAYTON, Ö. J. V. Wilkle. 23 South Jefferson street. DENVER. Co!. Louthaln & Jackson. Fifteenth and Lawrence streets, and A. Smith, ltw7 Champa street. DES 1I0INE3, la. Mose Jacobs, S03 Fifth street. LOS ANGELES, Cal. Harry Drapkln. LOUISVILLE C. T. Deering. northwest corner of Third and Jefferson streets, and Bluefeld Bros., 413 West Market street. NEW YORK Astor House. ST. LOUIS Union News Company. Union Depot; World's Fair Newspaper Wagons; Louisiana News Company Exchange. BT. JOSEPH. Mo.-F. B. Carrlel. Station D. i WASHINGTON. D. . G-Riggs House. Ebbltt House, Fairfax Hotel. Willard Hotel. Among others who refuse to be for Hearst la the Hon. Tora L. Johnson. He has? all the money he needs at present. Self-denial la not confined to the poor, by. any means. Charles M. Schwab observed Lent by swearing oft his personal taxes. Democratic, talk has to bo made by the papers, mostly. Tarker won't talk, Hearst can't talk and Bryan has been ordered not to talk. Admiral Dewey says he does not thirllc much o? the efficiency of submarine boats. He ought to know, for he has made a lot of tliem himself. "Free silver is a grave issue," says the Omaha WorM-Hcrald. In that case anywij .vnufcui irj ua to tug ii up snouiU 1x3 . Indicted for grave robbing. It i3 said that Mr. Cleveland "was greatly Impressed" by the ruins of tho Baltimore fire. They probably reminded him of what he did to the Democratic party. f From Chicago University comes the announcement that the professors have the privilege "of free speech. So the public has t noticed; the statement seems hardly neces- .? eary. Premier Balfour lnt h! mn. k - ivuivi ina . other day and left the Houae of Commons. .The Commons has hopes that It can yet make him so angry that he will leave tho premiership. It Is a beautiful thing to see men growIns mora humane- with age and expe- . rince. The longer this war lasts the more firmly convinced doe3 the Czar become that .... I.. . ' uuhwwji paace idea was a good one. . A Russian paper remarks that this is "only a colonial war." That Is what, England said about the war with America; and 4 V A . lt. ..1... , O 1 - I 1 m . liiai. to nnny. cpiui sam aooui ner war with America. True, but without effect on tho : results. John D. Rockefeller is going Into the Carnegie business; he has appointed an attorney to attend to all his philanthropic ehernes. It is denied, however, that he will endow an Ida M. Tarbcll chair in Chicago University. - Spring was to help ttte Russians; but It begins to appear that it will hinder . them instead. The Ice Is melting on Lake Baikal. The temporary railroad must therefore, be removed, and no more troop3 can be transported until the complete melting of tho Ice allows steamers to run. The statement f mado in a local paper that a committee of artists will on Monday pass on tho work that is to go into the women's department of tho SL Louis fair. Sin eo the announcement has been repeatedly and authoritatively made that there will be no women's department at the fair, all the work of women coming Into direct competition with that of men, this statement seems to need explanation. That New England earthquake which ', was reported to have occurred recently Is still a 'subject of discussion. That that part of tho country did experience a distinct Jolt and shaking up is certain. There was no destruction of life or property, but the earth did quake. The scientists said, . however. It was not a genuino earthquake because there were no seismic symptoms elsewbere. They finally concluded that it was caused by the slipping or settling of a certain siratum which underlies New England, the movement of which would jar the tipper earth, though they did not attempt to explain why the stratum should slip. But now comes testimony on another line. A dispatch from Cnribou, In northern Malre, says that a guide who came in a few days ago from the forests reported . that Bald mountain, near the New Brunswick line, had sunk out of sight and its former place Is now a lake. A party of woodsmen who came in later confirmed the guide's story. The guides and woodsmen of northern Maine are not scientists, but they know a lake from a mountain on isht. As the sinking of the mountain Is conceded, the earthquake of March 21 is now generally attributed to that, but as uo-

body undertakes to tell why the mountain rank the earthquake Is etill unaccounted for.

nE.03I!XATIOX OF 3111. OVERSTREET. The renomination of Hon. Jesse Ovcrfrtreet for Congress makes six consecutive nominations he has received from the Republicans of this county. At first the district was composed of Marion and Johnson counties, and Mr. Overstreet was nominated as a Johnson county man. Later he removed to thi3 city, and when Marion county became a district by itself he was continued as its representative. His present renomination and re-election will make his term of service longer than the average of Western members. The Democratic candidates whom he has . successively beaten were Charles M. Cooper, Leon O. Bailey, Frank B. Burke and Jacob P. Dunn. They all found him a hard proposition to be up against. Mr. Overstreet has served his district faithfully and well and has earned a return to Congress. Ills conservative, straightforward course has commended him to the voters of the Seventh district, and his re-election should be and is a foregone conclusion. At the last election, the district then consisting of Marion county alone as it does now, Mr. Overstreet received 23.1D1 votes to 20,933 for Jacob P. Dunn and 2.332 scattering. As this Is a presidential year, with important results depending on the election, Mr. Overstreefs plurality of two years ago ought tqkbe increased. All the conditions are favorable for this. The Republican party is united and harmonious. There is every indication that Mr. Roosevelt will be renominated by acclamation and that the state and local tickets will be selected with cäre. In these circumstances the Republicans should be able to get out a full vote. Marion county. Republicans should realize that the eyes of Republicans throughout the State are on them. "Whenever through local dissensions or apathy the Republicans of this county fail to roll up a normal majority they should be and are sure to be censured by their brethren throughout the State. It is to be hoped they will give no cause for such censure this year. For many reasons tills is a year when the Republicans of Marion county should get together and make an unusual effort to pile up record-breaking majorities for every candidate on the ticket. CONCERNING NATIONAL AIRS. A curious question lias arisen as to whether "Hail Columbia" is a national air or not. For a long time it has been the rule on all United States naval ships for the band to play "The Star-spangled Banner" at the raising of the Hag In the morning and "Hail Columbia" at its lowering In the evening. . A question having arisen as to whether the latter is a national air, it was referred to Secretary of the Navy Moody. Without arguing or deciding the point at issue he has ordered that hereafter "The Star-spangled Banner" shall be played at flag-lowering as well as a. at flag-raisiug. Strictly speaking, there is no such thing as a national air, except as the people adopt and make one. There is no act or resolution of Congress on the subject. Common consent has made "The Starspangled Banner" the leading national air, though "Hail Columbia" is a good second. The latter was first sung in public in 1703, while "The Star-spangled Banner"- was not written until 1S14. The words of "Hall Columbia" were written by a Baltimore lawyer named Hopklnson to be sung at an actor's benefit. The verses were written to the air of the "President's ' March," composed by a German musician of Philadelphia in 17S0, in honor of Washington. Tho song was sung for the first time at the theatrical performance referred to, on the night of April 29, 1733. It created a furore and at once became universally popular. The words and the music of "Hail Columbia" are fully as good as those of "The Stai-spangled Eanner." Everybody is familiar with the circumstances under which tho words of th latter song were written by Francis S. Key, at Baltimore, In September, 1SH. That also was first sung at a theatrical performance, in Baltimore, and sprang at once into universal popularity. Both songs arc conceived in the highest spirit of patriotism and are not likely to be supplanted as national airs and songs. Washington heard the "President's March" played In his honor many times during and after the revolutionary war, but he may never have heard "Hail Columbia" sung, as the song was written tn 1733 and he died the next year. TIIE SUCCESS OF A 1IL3IORIST. The Providence Journal, after noting the fact that George Ade, who "scarcely more than ten years ago was a small-salaried worker on a country newspaper, Is now' completing a twenty-thousand-dollar mansion on his country estate," makes this Ill-natured comment: "Dr. Holmes possibly made a mistake in not daring to be as funny as he could. It evidently pays to work one's vein of humor to the utmost, if only the product be broad enough to suit tho popular taste and the offering of It does not Involve too great a loss of self-respect. The owner of 'the loud laugh that speaks' the vacant mind' Is ever ready to reward handsomely the man who can provoke it." The Providence paper seems to cherish the belief that because Ade makes people laugh the common people who create what is known as popular taste his success is therefore not worthy of respect and admiration. But why is it not, and why should the author of "Artie" and "Fables In Slang" lose any self-respect, as the critic implies that he must, in writing these books? It Is quite conceivable that Mr. Ade, If he were to follow his own predilections, might prefer to wTite a serious problem novel instead of "Fables," a treatise on . Chicago's corrupt politics instead of "The County Chairman." or a Wagnerian drama instead of a "Sultan of Sulu." But, If he were to produce the novel or the treatise or the drama, would he be doing any greater service to his fellow-creatures than he Is now doing or have greater personal satisfaction? That he would not have the same financial reward is certain, but that should not matter to a man who felt that by doing these things he was both increasing his self-respect and serving humanity better. Mr. Ade, however, having a sense of humor, discovered that he was able greatly to entertain the public therewith, and having common sense alto, proceeded to use his special talent to the advantage of all concerned. While the public has laughed his bank account has grown, buthat circumstance has not mada

.the laughter any the less a benefit to those who found his clever sketches amusing. The truth is that people always give the warmest welcome to the man who can make them laugh,, and never is such welcome greater than when the strain and struggle of daily life so exhaust the mental and physical energies that people turn to amusement Instead of serious, pursuits out of the sheer instinct of self-preservation. Laughter revives them and enables them to remain sound and sane. The Providence paper labels these "vacant minds," but since Ade's books are bought and his plays attended by busy professional and business men lawyers, doctors, merchants the sneer need not be taken seriously. The mind3 recover their tone, helped thereto by the wit and humor served out to them, and for which they are supremely grateful. It is not worth while to sneer at the humorists those whose wit .is clean and wholesome and without malice. They rill an important place in the social economy and their success is deserved.

A DAILY NEWSPAPER IN 3IIDOCEAN. Wireless telegraphy has reached such a stage of development that it is to be utilized in the publication of a daily newspaper to be Issued on shipboard at sea. At least such is the announcement now made, and it seems practicable. Long distance newspaper correspondence is already transmitted by the Marconi system, and it has not yet reached Its fullest development. It is said the new paper will be printed simultaneously on most of the transatlantic steamers while they are in transit. During several months of the year it is estimated there are from 20,000 to 30.000 passengers afloat crossing the ocean in one direction or the other, and the paper will be furnished these at breakfast each day. It may not be known to most persons that there are now Marconi transmitting stations at three points on the American coast and one or two on the British. Ships with the Marconi equipment are practically in constant touch with one or the other of these stations and receive news bulletins from them. The steamers ' of several different lines now issue a dally bulletin of news from a summary supplied by a bureau which has its headquarters in Boston. From thi3 to a publication of a daily newspaper is but a step. There would have to be a printing plant on each steamer. The sheets containing advertisements could be furnished the ship before sailing, so that only the wireless news would have to be set up and printed on board the ship. It is said the Associated Press offices in New York and London will furnish the news, the former .during the first three days of an eastward voyage and the latter for the rest of the distance. The paper would probably be somewhat costly, but every passenger would buy and read it carefully, advertisements and all. It is said the new paper will be launched that seems to be the proper word within the next sixty days. The first Impulse of everybody will be to praise the enterprise that proposes to furnish the daily news of the world in midocean, but there is another aspect of the case. One of the most novel and delightful experiences In crossing the ocean is the sense of complete isolation for the time from the rest of the world. The ship is the passenger's world. Its interests and its fate are his, and they suddenly assume great importance. Wars may be in progress on the land, banks may be breaking, business panics occurring, fires, floods, crimes, marriages, deaths and a thousand other things may be happening, as they do every day, but the person at sea knows nothing of them and does not care to know. lie Is on a planet of his own. At least, that is the way it has been heretofore, but it will not be so when the daily newspaper at sea is started. Many persons cross the ocean as much for the benefits of the voyage as anything else. The overworked professional man, the worn out business man, the banker, the capitalist, the financier, the promoter who has been carrying a tremendous load until he is on the point of collapse has each found absolute rest at sea. Neither the mails, the telegraph, tho telephone nor personal messages could reach him. He was absolutely cut off from the great world of which he was so tired. Whatever happened he was at rest. On land he could not rest at all; at sea he could not do anything else. All his thoughts took a new turn, anl they all led to rest. When the daily international midocean paper is started It will be different. The tired passenger will no longer be on a little planet of his. own, cultivating an entirely new train of thought and purging his mind of the cares that have almost driven him crazy. He will still be in touch with all of them. The daily paper with its stock and market reports, its business failures, its floods and fires, its railroad accidents, its embezzlements, its wrecked banks and trust companies, its receiverships, its strikes and labor troubles in short, with its daily grist of affairs which the doctors said he must get away from, will greet him at the breakfast table every morning. Will It be a blessing or a curse? A wonderful thing certainly, an almost incredible achievement of genius and enterprise, but no benefit to those who make an ocean voyage for rest. MINOR TOPICS. Easter Day Is the greatest of the feasts "of the Church and Its significance is purely Christian. Yet there was an Easter Day called by that name and celebrated in the early spring long before the beginning of the Christian era. It was the Pagan celebration of the new birth of nature after the death of winter. Easter is only one of several customs which Christianity adapted from the "heathen" nations. Lightning never strikes twice In the same place, they say. but it Is evident that floods do. After landing a staggering blow, they do not hesitate to follow it up with another before the victim has reI covered. The Japs dislodged the Russians at Cheng-Ju, near Ting-Yang, and then advanced to Yong-Chun, the Russians retreating to Ung-San, near Horg-Fun." Tako this home and try it on your piano. "Why should we Americans call the Russians so many hard names?" asks an antiJap paper. Now please tell v.3 if the Russians have any other kind we should be only too glad to use them. Right into the harbor they slunk, those Japanese ships, ' and were sunk. But tho Japs say that such did not alter them much; they were junks, and now they are Junk. If you do not believe that this town is filled with optimists, take a walk in the residence, district one of these- Una mora-

I

ing3 and watch the householders sowing grass seed in the same place they have been sowing it for years. They have a sublime faith that some day it will grow. In taking away the Sultan of Sulu's salary, but allowing him to keep his wives, the administration shows wonderful wisdom. By taking away the wives we should have made him angry; as it is he will soon see the foiiy of trying to keep them without any salary. A Kentucky man attempted suicide by leaping from a twenty-one-story building in New York. The attempt, was highly successful, but this method is not expected to become popular. It is too horribly certain, and then it endangers the lives of others. The fact that Mother Eddy's burglar left a copy of "Science and Health" and took a Greek Testament instead merely goes to show that there are some things beyond the comprehension eveu of a burglar. A Cleveland woman threw an alarm clock at a burglar and knocked him out o'f the window. That burglar Is now in a position to acknowledge that a woman can throw straight enough, if you give her time. A New York man was sentenced to six months in jail for whistling "Bedella" on the street on Sunday. This is unjust; why restrict the penalty to Sunday? The editor of the St. I.,ouis Globe-Democrat says he "just longs for the days when we won't have to shovel snow." Tired of life? The New York Times needs a night school of geography on its premises. It alludes to Cleveland, O., as "the Weät." Even Easter has its touch of sadness and over the birth of the lilies is cast a shadow by the dyeing of the eggs. ABOUT PEOPLE AND THINGS. The contents of a small store In Seoul, Korea, are in many cases worth not more than a dollar or two. Fish that do not possess eyes and that inhabit the waters of caves in soaihern Indiana will constitute one of the odd exhibits of the Hoosler State at the St. Louis fair. Dolls are often displayed in the cottage windows of Servia. .They are put up as a sign to announce to wayfarers that a marriageable daughter dwelU in the house. The Emperor of Austria, when chided by his physicians for working too many hours, replied: "But what can I do? As it is, I can only Just get my day's work- in; and where should I be if I began even an hour later?" One hundred and thirty million people in the Russian Empire have fewer newspapers than 7,000,000 in the State cf New York a sad commentary on the state of public intelligence in an ambitious world power, though a great blessing to any one who has to handle the newspaper annual of the country. The guides who will operate the push chairs at the Louisiana Purchase Exposition will be selected from the students of universities In the United States. Hundreds of applications hava been made. Preference will be given to students working their way through college. Every successful applicant must weigh not less than 110 pounds, must not be less than 5 feet IM inches tall and his age must be between nineteen and twenty-three years. Mrs. Maria S. Forter. who died a few days ago in Lynn, at the age of seventy-one, was for thirty years active for woman suffrage, and made it her special charge to secure the names of eminent Massachusetts men on her petitions, frequently starting them with tho signature of Phillips Brooks. A while ago she published a volume of reminiscences, for she knew many noted persons, especially authors. Benjamin C. Porter, the portrait painter, was her husband's son by a former wife. From a Thames dockyard the other day was launched the first steamship ever built in which the whole of the Internal space, except what is required for the engines and bunkers, is to be devoted to the transportation of fruit. It will carry a dead-weight cargo of 5.000 tons. Cool air Is kept systematically circulating throughout every part of the fruit space. The steamship will carry bananas, the annual importation cf which Into England has Increased In three years from 1.500.000 to 5,000.000 bunches. Although he Is not so very aged (he is seventyseven), Edward Atkinson, the noted antl-im-reriallst, anti-expansionist, economist and Inventor, Is so feeble that he can no longer writ his name, but uses a rubber stamp la signing his name. This Is done even on checks of small or large- amount. 3ts such a signature is r.ot legal, Mr. Atkinson renders it so by attesting It according to the Bertillon system. He inks the ball of his thumb on a pad and leaves the imprint on thu check, as much as to say, "Edward Atkinson, his thumb." A new and most interesting addition to the, historical sights of London will be made when the ancient "Chapel of the Pyx" at Westminster Abbey Is opened to th public. On account of the great sanctity of the Abbey, this chapel was chosen by the Norman conqueror or by William Rufus as the royal treasury, and there the Norman and Plantagenet rgralia wer kept- At a later date the gold and silver coins of the realm were kept in a box or "pyx" in the chapel for the guidance and correction of the mint, but tnls practice has been long discontinued, and now the dark Norman oratory is to become a "rublic resort," and will be lighted by electricity. ART AND AET WORKERS. Charles F. Taft, of Cincinnati, has purchased Corofs "Le Soir" for $75.000 and Diaz's "Autumn. Forest of Fontainblean" for $35.000 from a New York dealer. The sale of the Hawkins collection of miniatures and snuff boxes at Christie's In London last week was rather sensational. A Lonis XV oblong gold snuff by Halnslin brought the top price. $32.000. Glenn Brown, the well-known Washington architect, has been elected an honorary, corresponding member of the Royal Institute of British Architects. Only six other American architects have been honored In this way. The twenty-fifth annual exhibition of the Royal Canadian Academy has Just bee-n brought to a close in Montreal and was. In many reepects, the most successful that has been held. There were 325 exhibits. From these exhibits were chosen the pictures that are to be sent to the St. Louis exposition. The fourth annual loan and sale exhibition of the Frei. Artists" League will take place this year as usual at the Waldorf-Astoria. After April 1 this society Will maintain a permanent exhibition of drawings in the new gallery at No, 138 West Forty-second street, known as the Hogarth Head. The rooms will be kept open day and evening until midnight.' The first large mural decorations for any municipal school are those for the John Sartaln School ot Philadelphia. Four of the five will be sent to the St. Louis exposition, with the school exhibit from the Philadelphia School ef Design for Women. They are "Early Age of Astronomy," Katherlne Schmidt; "Early Age of Diplomacy," Elizabeth L. Burton; "Early Age of Metallurgy," Alice Mumford. and "Early Ago of. Music." by Nancy Fergdn. The "Early Age of Teaching." by Alice Boner, is the one not yet completed. Some of the Items at a recent sale of decorative furniture at a houso In Lowndes square, London, sold as follows: Set of eight eighteenth century mahogany chairs in the Hepplewhlte style, with oval concave hacks, $1.17.",; a Chlprendale cupboard, with carved molding and ormolu mounts, $700; a small Chippenale table. $J0; an Adams satinwood secretaire, inlaid with various woods. $200; an A dam 3 sideboard, with festooned carving In relief, $210; a mahogany Sheraton cabinet fitted with bookshelves, $273, and a three-tier mahogany dumb waiter on a curved pillar and tripod. $-73. A parts art writer wys that George Sands will be Imniortallied In marble like ro many of her distinguished compatriots. The. t tatue is to stand In tht place des Vosgea, not far fron tL Victor

Hugo Museum. Taul Meurlce, the director the mureum, was the originator of the project. The statue will represent George Sands at the xenlth of youth and vitality. She will be shown standing, the" right hand supporting her cheek, while the left holds some sheets of manuscript and a pencil. The sketch is to be exhibited at the next salon. This year Is the centenary of the gifted authoress. Engravings sold at Christie's In London recently as follows: After A. Nasmyth, "Robert Burns," by S. Cousins. $363; after Constable, "Hadleigh Castle" (large plate), by D. Lucas. $163; after H. Thomson, "Crossing the Brook." by W. Say. $150; after Romney, "Lady Hamilton as Sensibility," by It. Earlom. $213; "Lady Hamilton as Nature." by H. Meyer, $$30; after Reynolds. "Dr. Johnson," by W. Doughty, $1S0; "Lady Hamilton as a Bacchante," by J. R. Smith. $123; "Mr. Tolfemache as Miranda." by J. Jones, $133; after Lawrence, "Countess Gower and Child." by S. Cousins, $113; "Lady Aciand and Children." by the same. $210, and "Miss Macdonald," by the sam. $113.

JOURNAL ENTRIES. A Pointer for Smoot. 'Tis a fact that Is ancient and recent. We prefer to have congressmen decent. Theophilns and Theodore. "There are two kinds of women." "For instance?" "Gum chewcrs and others." Theological. Dlbbs Do you believe In a personal devil? Dobbs Of course; I'm not such a chump as to want to shoulder all my own meanness. A Political Meteor. One dim yellow peril Which gleams through Its gloom. Is that waste of bad money The crazy Hearst boom. Double-Dyed Melancholy. Whenever Lucy has the blues she has them awful bad Besides the blues, ehe has the blues to think she feels so' sad. High Water Advice-. Tramp Won't you please gimme a dime; I'm a flood sufferer. Surpiclous Citizen Get out! Two or three baths wouldn't hurt you. A Matter of Easter Clothes. Doctor I told your wife not to risk going out; she might get a relapse and die. Mr. Chic Well, doctor, it would have killed her if she had stayed at home. George nnd John. "Tom Is so stolid, and Mrs. Tom is so nervous." "Yes; 13 Tom stolid because she's nervous, or is she nervous because he's so stolid?" Simple Times Gone Oy. "Brain work gets harder all the time." "Yes; men used to do high thinking on rlaln living, but now they have to do plain thinking oa hieh living." The Dnrden-Dearlng Child. Don't scorn the wailing pessimist, for ha Hath useful message for humanity; What cheering office his to Jet men know He packs his own and half their load of wo. When Men Are Handy to Ha,ve Roand. Ethel I wish I were married. Bertha Why? Ethel Laura doesn't have to scuff her brains out over the war at all; Edgar tells her all about it. THE FUNNY YOUNGSTERS. Xatnral Inference Jennie's mother was expecting company, but Just before tra:n time a telegram arrived, which read: "Missed train. Will start at same time tomorrow." Jennie rushed home from school expecting to see the guest, but instead was shown the metsage. After reading It laboriously and carefully through she exclaimed: "Why, mamma, if she starts at the same time to-morrow, she will miss the train again." 'What To Eat. Ground for Suspicion. Two grimy newsboys were counting their day's earnings the other evening on a step near the corner of Tenth and Walnut streets. Suddenly one of them looked up from his task and narrowly regarded his comrade. "I'm a cent short," ho remarked. The comrade, busily engaged la chewing gum, did not reply. "Say, I'm a cent short," repeated the nrst boy. "Well," protested the second. "I ain't got yer cent, have I?" The loser looked grim". "I ain't sayin' you have," he slowly responded, "an I ain't sayin' you haven't. But I'm a cent short an' you're chewin' chewin'-gum," Philadelphia Press. Who It Was. A well-known New York clergyman was telling his Bible class the story of the Prodigal Son at a recent session, and wishing to emphasize the disagreeable attitude of the elder brother on that occasion, he laid especial stress on this phase of the parable. After describing the rejoicing of tho household over the return of the wayward son, he spoke of one who, in the midst of the festivities, failed to share in the Jubilant spirit of the occasion. "Can anybody In the class," he asked, "tell me who this was?" A small boy, who had been lUtenins; sympathetically to the story, put up his hand. "I know." he said, beamingly; "it was the fatted calf." Harper's Weekly. STORIES THAT ARE TOLD. The Lawyer and the Mole. John G. Johnson, the Philadelphia corporation lawyer, according to an Eastern paper, says that he was never utterly nonplused but once, and that was in one ef his first cases In his youth. He was addressing the Jury with all the eloquence he could muster when a mule out In the street gave vent to a loud, long bray. At this the Judge smiled and, holding up his hand, said:- "One at a time, please, Mr. Johnson." Baltimore American. Speech Abruptly Ended. "These people who get one Idea or one tenet and never change," said Representative John Sharp Williams, of Mississippi, the Democratic leader of the House, "always bring to my mind an episode at a dinner I attended once where a scholarly and eloquent pioneer was telling of the dangsrs that beset him In his early days in the West. " "I remember once he said, "when I was traveling from one town to another, a tremendous thunderstorm came up. The scene was frightful, awe-inspiring. I expected every moment that the lightning would strike the tree under which I had sought shelter.' " " 'Why In thunder didn't you get under another tree? shouted a man at one of the tables, and the speech ended right there." New York World. A Senator Creed. MaJ. Francis Preston Fremont, son of the "Pathfinder." while stopping over night in a Montana hotel several years ago. got Into conversation with a man who afterward became a United States senator. Learning of Major Fremont's parentage, the stranger "drew up and sat down." whereupon the major invited him to have something to drink. The future senator meditated an Instant. Then, looking up. he asked: "Do you happen to be aware ef my creed V Upon receiving the anticipated negative, he proceeded : "Well, sir, I never ask a man to drink for fear of leading him into temptation: I never refuse an Invitation to drink for fear of hurting somebody's feelings; and" bringing his fist down on the table "I don't give a d what happens so long as it don't happen to me! "Whisky neat, waiter!" New York Times. Cunnlnxbnm'i Tobacco Story. Col. John H. Cunningham, of North Carolina, perhaps the largest individual tobacco grower in the "world, was bemoaning the low price of tobacco before the ways and means committee at Washington oa account of the continual

squeezing of the trust.' He Illustrated his contention by telling a story of a farmer who placed a load of tobacco in a warehouse to be sold. The warehouse man sold it and informed the farmer that the price was so low that after paying the warehouse charges he still owed 23 cents to him for storage. It was agreed that the farmer should bring a rooster r.ext time he came to town to satisfy this claim. In a few days the farmer appeared with two luity roosters in a basket. "But you only owe me for one rooster, said the warehouse man. "Well, you see." replied the farmer, "I have brought another load of tobacco." Denver Times.

Hills Fore-nnd-Aft Forehead. David B. Hill has a small nephev who has an unerring eye for detecting personal peculiarities and an embarrassing habit of commenting on them In public "Now, Jamie." his mother warned him before dinner recently, "if you make a single personal remark about any one I'll send you straight from the table." Jamie promised to be good. The family, gathered in the parlor, were awaiting the summons to dinner. Jamie, flnger'in mouth, was meditatively regarding his Uncle David, whose back happened to be presented to him. "Muvver!" his shrill voice rang across the room. His mother shivered apprehensively. "Now, Jamie," she began, in a warning voice. "Yes. muvver; I wemember. It ain't about Aunt Mary's new teeth. Ifs " "Jamie!" "It's only please tell me why Uncle David has a few wed In the back of his head!" New York Times. THE WIDOWS OF THE WORLD. Kept in the Dark. Widow Brown Rebecca wants ma to marry Widower Jones. " Mrs. Smith Has he proposed? Widow Brown Oh, no we haven't mentioned it to him yet. Spooks. Scientists say that the hair and nails grow after death. Some theory of that sort is needed to explain the experience of a widow at a spiritualistic seance. "No." said the little widow, emphatically. "I will never attend another dark seance." "Why not?" asked her friend. "Didn't you have any acquaintances among the spooks?" "I am in doubt about the materializations." "Not distinct enough?" "Well, it was this way: The medium said my husband was there and wanted to spoak to me. It was too dark to see him plainly, but I thought I recognized the outlines of Jim. and I kissed him." "Was It Jim?" "That's what I would like to know." "What makes you doubt It?" "The spook had a lovely mustache." "Oh!" "Jim never had one." And the little widow looked thoughtfully. Spare Moments. The Indian Widow. No institution of India has been so exaggerated as that of the widow. She really occupies a place analogous to our antique "old maid," now so fast disappearing in the girl-bachelor. The aged widow who has remained true to her principles Is regarded as a holy being who has withstood a thousand temptations and persecutions and commands the respect of a saint from all persons. She Is the mother of all the children in the neighborhood, the helpmate of all the neighbors. At evening they flock round to hear her repeat the ancient legends, the stories of Sita and Salvtri, Draupdia. or sing the songs of Mira Bai. She is in great demand when cooking is needed for a sacred feast. She teaches the little ones their first hymns and prayers. She nurses the sick, comforts the dying. She believes herself to be bound to her husband for everlasting time, through all births and deaths. The momentary separation here Is but one shade of her marriage, an unknowable mystery of destiny It breaks no tie. Edmund Russell, in Everybody's Magazine. Large Proportion of Widoira. "We have Just fifty-one members In our union and twenty-six of them are grass widows," was the startling information vouchsafed by the walking delegate of the "Lady Coremakers" ot Chicago. It was at a meeting of the executive board of the lady coremakers convened In the brass molders' headquarters to determine whether the lady coremakers should run the bar at their forthcoming ball or whether they should rent the privilege to their brother craftsmen, the brass molders. The latter, as the debate developed, had offered the paltry sum of $175 for the privilege. The suggestion was received with hisses. "What's to hinder our own selves from running our own bar at our own ball?" queried ona sister. "That's what I say." "I move that wa allow the gentlemen brass molders to run our bar In consideration of the payment to the lady coremakers of the sum of $300 cash down on the spot," moved the parliamentarian. Miss Harklns, amid unanimous applause. Resuming her seat she turned to me and said: "I tell you these men will do you every time they get a chance. They'll do you up In business, they'll do you up In matrimony and they'll do you In the union, too. every time, if they get a chance. They'll cheat you out of your own eyes and they'll skin you alive, and the average labor skate's the worst f all. Ladies Monthly. Troubles of the "Wldo-rrs. The widows of Kansas occasionally have a heap of trouble with the Tension Department at Washington. Mary Ann Petty, widow of John Petty, of Neodesha. recently applied for a pension. She found that John had been possessed cf four wives before he married her, and that the department wanted to know what had become of them all before it "would grant the pension. After, considerable effort she was able to show that three of them had died, and that one had been divorced. Another ease was that of a Wichita widow. Many years ago she was divorced from her first husband Recently rhe aprlled for a pension on account of a second husband who had died. The department discovered that she had been divorced from "Edward" 'Jones instead of "Edmond" Jones, a mistake having been made In the divorce paper. Now she Is compelled to institute another mit for divorce against the first husband In order to make the record clear on the claim that she was the legal wife of the man on whose account she expects the pension. Kansas City Journal. Eight widows in Chicago have been found to be wholly dependent upon the earnings of small children. If there are more a search continued during several months by altruists has failed to reyeal them. The cases of the eight are being attended to by the woman's clubs, which are paying "scolarshlps according to the plan they adopted after the child labor bill was passed by the Legislature. These scholarships, which range from $1 to $3 a week, go to the support of the families and thus Fupply the source cf revenue cut off by the operation of the child labor law, which permits the children to go to school. Said Abont Widows. Take example by your father, my boy, and be very careful o the Widders all your life. Dickens. The first moment the Widow Wadman saw him she felt something stirring within her something, something. Sterne. ' I have seen a widow that Just before was seen pleasant enough follow an empty hearse and weep devoutly. Chapman. Mrs. Leland Stanford is said to carry a larger amount of insurance than any other woman in the world. Her xolicies amount to more than $1.000.000. Women have a special antipathy to the blonde widew, and when one crosses their path they sit down and throw up their hands and give up the game. Dorothy Dlx. I praise th saints I nlver was married, though I had opportunities enough when I was ayoun man. an" even now I have to wear me hat low whin I go down In Cologne street on account iv th Widow Grogan. Mr. Dooley. The richest woman In Cula Is sail to be Senora ltoa Ahren, a handsome. Intelligent, aristocratic looking widow worth &0v0,t00, ani

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with no InrumL-rÄrire. fhe lives In ; a' fashionable subuib cf Havana, was lorn In Cuba, as was 1,t late hut-band,, and all hr interest ani sympathies are entirely non-i-ajilsh. She la very democratic in manr.fr, ani takes great Interrj In a -clety criminated by Amerlcaa uomt-n to aid the i.r. Hrr jlantati-n conslsta of 130,jO acr of magnificent coffee land. Queen Marpherita of Ita!y went into retlremrr.t when hrr husband was assassinated four yars ago. and it was expected that fhe woull pats the remainder uf her days In the seclusion cf a convent. The dowagfr Queen, however, has begun to thow herself In public once more, and appears to be .lc.Iy rtsuming r.er former social round. In the days preceding hrr widowhood Queen Margherit was noted for the perfection of her wardrobe, and It U prophesied ".hat tre long she will be wearing colors once more. Widows in Japan, of whom there win soon unfortunately be a greatly Increased number, cut their hair short and ccmb it bat plainly without a parting, unless. Indeed, they are prepared to accept freh offers. In which case they give a broad hint of their inclinations by twisting their hair round a long shell hairpin placedl horizontally aerot-s the back of the head. Marriageable maidens distinguish, and. as It wer, advertise themselves, by combing their lock high in front and arranging them In the form of a butterfly (which Is something to be- caught), or a fan half cpen, and adorning these significant designs with bright colored balls and gold or silver cord. Speaking generally, the dressing: cf the hair, which Is changed at Intervals from childhood upward. Is an Indication f the aga and position, of the simple minded and fascinating female Jap. Carried Fourteen Trankt.' He was young and bore all of the outwar and visible signs of the foreigner. It waa equally evident that he was an englishman. He was standing on the sidewalk on the Seventh-street side of the Midland ' Hotel superintending th unloading ot a huge wagonlo4 of baggage. As the process of unloading continued a traveling man of an inquisitive turn approached the) Englishman. . "What'a your liner asked the traveling man. "I'm traveling for pleasure." "Are those trunks yours V "Yes." "How many?" "Fourteen." "Do you mean to aay that you are dragging fourteen trunks about over the country ? "Yes. Now, me good fellow, if you have aay more questions to awsk please hurry." "Well, there is one thing I would like to kuow What have you got. In those blooming trunks?" "Me clothes and me boots." The Englishman who' carried fourteen tninka was in Kansas City to cansulr with his local agent concerning some real estate business."" Ha is the son of a wealthy British landholder, and he is trying to worry along on $v0,000 a year. He said in reply to another question that ha expects to remain here for several years. All of his most cherished bachelor belongings wera la his ti unks. Kansas City Journal. Gold Hunters Are Snsceptlbla. , "The average gold hunter in the Klondike la the most susceptible fellow on earth when yeu talk rich strikes to him." says WV n. Hicks, engineer of the Blees Military Academy. "He doeaa't stop to rearcn. If he did he wouldn't hasard his lifa by going up to such a place. And the veriest tenderfoot can excite him by telling of great pockets of gold in places his Judgment contradicts. "Along with six friends, I made a trip to tha Klondike in the summer of 1L and after getting through the perils common to a Visit to that bleak region. I got a Job at Dawson, running a hoisting engine $1.25 an hour and boards It had, cost $1 a pound to get that engine over tha mountains. There was one little donkey engine I at a shaft there which the owners figured to bring it up and run it three months cost ita . weight In gold. I was satisfied with my wages for a while, but the gold talk brought the fever on, and I resigned to take up a claim. I'd have done it if my wages had been $50 a day, just tby same. A man can't keep out of the hunt whersT everybody is discussing millions that aresup' posed to be' close at hand. "if a man could go up to the Klondike ani school his faculties se he wouldn't fall In with, every excitement that bursts out he'd make money, but it's no use talking that may. Unless a man's a born Iceberg he's going to follow tha crowd the love of conquest Is In hi veins, ani after suffering the terrors of a trip up there he won't talk of anything less than millions." Baltimore American. A Naturalist's Point of Vieir. By way of celebration he had thrown out nearly a cartload of sand from somewhere beneath ' the tree, deepening and enlarging his house. "Dose voodshuck, him kill dem tree,, declare! my Swedish neighbor, viewing the hole. Perhaps so. As yet. however,, the tree grows a without a sign of hurt. But, suppose It does die? Well, there le no certainty of Its bearing good fruit. There was once a peddler of trees, a pious man, who made a mistake selling the wrong tree. Besides, there are other trees in the orchard, and. if necessary, I can buy peaches. Yes, but what if other woodc-hucks should seek other roof-trees in the peach tow j They won't. There are no fashions, no emulations out of doors. Because one woodchuclc moves from huckleberries to a peach tree is n sign that all the woodchucks on the hillside ara going to forsake the huckleberries with him. Only humans are silly enough for that. If the woodchuckn should all come it would be extremely Interesting an event worth many peaches. Dallas Lore Sharp, In National Maga. rine for April. . . Marie Corelll and Children. We are not one of those- who will cavil at Miss Marie Corelll for writing about babies simply because she happens to have none of her own. Presumably, those who haven't any babies hava all the more time to study them-end to write about them. But we must disagree-with Mlns Corelll In her protest against the "foolishness poured vpon babies by their elders." Miss Corelll. we must believe, has started from a. wrong premise to reach this conclusion. For who does not know that babies are Jiggled and ogled and gooifroed. not so much for the delight and eoinatlon of the babls, as for the doting parents. Mark Twain must have been conscious of a patronizing attitude of the t-bys mind toward an adoring and acrr.bating parent, for, when asked Jn regard to his own first born. If hj loved it. he replied: "I don't exactly lovs It. but I retpect it" New York Globe. Couched In Stronc bangnsgf. Francis Wl'.son. the comedian, has recently aided to his large and valuable library a collection of English tracts and sermons of the seventeenth and eighteenth centuries. These pamphlets are Interesting n account of the strange Phraseology a kind of religious slang which they reveal. Their titles exemplify this slang r well, and the following are a few of them: "The Fpirltusl Mustard Pot, to Mako the ßoul Sneeze with Devotion." "The Snuffers of Divine Love." "Ciurnbs of Comfort for Hungry Hoseas." "Biscuits Baked In the Oven of Charity. Carefully Conserved for Chickens of the Church. Sparrows of the Spirit and Sweet Swallow of Salvation." New York Tribune. Interestlne War Itoatea. The April's World Work, which is a special number, prints a striking map showing the extent of the Russian dominions and routes in tha war area. The following Interesting table o distances shows, among other things,, how fair Russia must transport supplies: Ft. Petersburg to Vladivostok. 5. miles. St. Petersburg to Port Arthur. .o miles. Vladlvoftock or Port Arthur to Harbin, too mile. New York to Yokohama via the new Panama canal. 10.091 miles. New York to Yokohama via the Sues canaL n.rl miles. Odesa. to Vladlvostork. IXtZi mite!. Manila to Yokohama, ,$ miles. . Society Agnfn In Peril. ' Mr. Bryan In a recent lecture remarked thal" society is In darker. Kv,r since the ,'stone ag somebody has tcn profoundly ImrJ li.w the danger threatening society; yet i&lety ha

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