Indianapolis Journal, Indianapolis, Marion County, 2 September 1894 — Page 12

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THE INDIANAPOLIS JOURNAL, SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 2, 1891. -

THE SUNDAY JOURNAL SUNDAY. SEPTEMBER 2. ISO. WASHINGTON OFFICE-I410 PENNSYLVANIA AVENUE Telephone Calls. Bmrtsfus Offlcf Editorial Koomi 2I2 i Linus or si'dscuiitiu.v. DA1LT BY MAIL. Pally only, en month S .70 lai:jr onij-. three mouths -.OO Da.ly only, one year M.OO Iaily. incimliiiR bunday, one jear .lO.uu - fcunuay only, one year -.00 -.tilt HRSI3HED BT AGKXTS. Pally. pr irk. by carrier IS cts teibuay, mu ?1 copy Set UaUy aid bundaj , per week, by carrier 20 eta WfcEKLT. Ttv Year $1.00 Reduccil Hale to Clab. Fut ribo it h any of our numerous agent or send ubsi rlitiij to thu JOURNAL NEWSPAPER COMPANY. lNDlANAVOLlS, La rT!on nlinr tne Journal through th mail In tl.e l'iHrl siaie KhiuM )iutou au -lsut-pa iMfxr a ONE KNT ioitUje ntainp; oualweivo or ilxttajiiae paper a rw o- lnt postal e' nip. Foreign pusti usually double these rata. rF"AIl communications intend f.r publication in this paper must, in ordr to nrrl e aMentiou. 1h acctuipneU by the nam? and address of the writer. T1IC INDIANAPOLIS .lULKXAL. Can found at the following plarea: l'A : IS American fcxctuiigo in l'arla, 3G Boulevard ile Cai-uvlnes. JltVV YuKK GUsey House and Windsor Hotel. PHI LA1 ELl'H I A A. rTkemble. U733 Lancaster aTrLne. CHICAGO rainier House, Auditorium If oteL CLXG JKX ATX-J. IL Havrley & Co.. 154 Vine street LOUISV1LLF. C. T. Deertng, uortliweat corner of Third and J cCer son streets. f T. LOUIS Union Xewa Company,. Union Depot. WASHINGTON, D. 0-4Uggs House and Ebbltt House. . SIXTEEN PAGES If Indianapolis must part either with the statesman of Jennings or Its Vork-packlng Industries, it will don. crape lor Alonzo Greene Smith. Ex-Vice President Morton having contented to make the race for Governor of New York, he "will undoubtedly foe nominated, lie will make an ideal candidate, and will be elected. The man who weighs what he purchases for a dollar found that the dollar package of granulated sugar which he took home last night was five pounds lighter than that which he weighed nine weeks ago. .By reappointing, during the recess of the Senate, several postmasters whose confirmation was presented by Senator Hill, and whom be will again oppose and defeat, the President shows that he does not know when he has enough. Those newspapers which were distressing themselves over the assumption that the farms of the country were, mortgaged beyond redemption are silent in disgust because the Census Bureau has proved that their anguish was artificial. , The fact that hundreds of thousands of packs of playing cards have been found in many cities by the revenue officers would Indicate that the crusade against cardplaying has not been crowned with success. Card-playing, however, rarely means C a Tabling. There is just cause for thorough disgust in this city because the railroads will not make a cent-a-mlle rate for occasions of general interest, wher they are making a half and a (quarter-cent rate from here to Chicago when there is no articular occasion. The labor commission appointed to Investigate the late railroad strike has concluded the taking of testimony and adjourned. It was in session fourteen days and examined 107 witnesses without eliciting any new facts or getting any valuable Information. The report of the committee can only be a rehash of what is already known. The Chicago Record assumes that the good citizen organization will put another ticket in the field in Indiana, and devotes an editorial thereto. If the Record had read the resolutions of the convention it would have discovered that it intends nothing of the sort, but, like its opponents, will make up a ticket from the candidates reg-. ularly nominated by the leading parties. The lynching of a half-dozen negroes in Tennessee on suspicion of incendiarism is a crime which will emphasize the utterances of Miss Wells in England and here. Ther Is no possible excuse for such a crime, because. If there was evidence enough to convict the men, they would have been convicted in Tennessee. If there as not sufficient evidence to convict, then the lynchers are practically self-confessed rnurd?rers. Again, as death is not the penalty of incendiarism, the "be3t citizens" who probably bad a. hand In the wholesale hanging have practically revised the criminal code of Tennessee. Mr. Carnegie says, in a magazine article, that the American workman can live for less, if he chooses, than the British workman can. provided that he lives as frugally. But the American workman does not want to live like the British workman, and nobody ought to wish him to do so. The American workman wants carpets on his floors, paper on his walls, and the comforts of a home about him. He wants to eat meat once or twice every day instead of once a week, and good meat at that. In suggesting that the American workman ought to live like the British workman, Mr. Carnegie shows he is still a foreigner in sentiment as well as by birth. A book reviewer In the Outlook, in commenting on Dr. Rice's work on the schools of the United States, describes the volume as useful and readable, but mildly complains that the author "pronounces his Judgments with a certainty and an absence of shadow of turning which makes us wonder sometimes what excuse one who disagrees can have for living." The reviewer Is hereby assured that there is no good cause for disagreeing, at least so far as the chapters on Indianapolis schools are concerned. Col. I. X. Walker is In no sense a personal aspirant for the position of commander-in-chief of the Grand Army, but Is the candidate of the Department of Indiana by Its unanimous vote at the Lafayette encampment. He has the cordial and earnest support of every prominent man in the Grand Army in Indiana, as well as that of Bach, well-known anl honored veteran .13

Gens. Lew Wallace, McGinnis and Foster. He Is in every way fitted for the position, and would make a successor fit to be named with such men as have honored the position. It should not be forgotten that he prepared the report of the committee on pensions adopted by the last National Encampment, and which called forth the enthusiastic approval of the Grand Army in every State. The report was approved by the other members of the pension committee without the change of a word, and was adopted by the National Encampment with cheers.

GENERAL X. I'. TJAXKS. The death of Gen. Nathaniel P. Banks, of Massachusetts, removes another of the few men who were conspicuous during the period of the breaking up of the old parties incident to the aggressive policy of the advocates of slavery extension. He was born a child of toll. He was a. "bobbin" boy in a cotton mill. He picked up the rudiments of education, was an omnivorous reader with a retentive memory, a leader in a village debating club, while the sons of the well-to-do were attending to what are called the social duties of young men. He was early in the lecture field and in the Legislature as a Freesoll Democrat. In Congress, during the KansasNebraska struggle, and, after the name of John Sherman was dropped, he was elected Speaker of the House which met in December, 1S55 of which ex-Gov. Will Cumback was a member and one of the few survivors. Then he was Governor nearly to the beginning of the war, and later a. major general of volunteers. Rarely, even in this country, has a man been carried so rapidly from poverty and obscurity to national fame and influence. In 1S36 he was one of the leading competitors with Fremont for the first Republican candidacy for President. For his time he was one of the best qualified men who have held the office of Speaker. As Governor of Massachusetts he was most acceptable, and he was always popular in the district In which he lived. As a military commander he was as signal a failure as the rebellion developed on the Union side. Until within twenty years he was a popular and effective orator one of the most popular and most effective ia New England during the period of slavery agitation. He may be said to have spent his life in public employments; but when the slavery conflict was over and the Issues growing out of it were practically settled, he did not so rasp the new Issues as to retain the prom-. inence he enjoyed during that period. In securing, without apparent effort, the most prominent and desirable public positions, he was the most successful man in recent history. Under Presidents Hayes and Arthur he was United States marshal, and yet, with all the positions of profit which he held, he has, for several years, been cared for by Massachusetts men who remembered and appreciated his early services. If a man who was uniformly successful in securing public position for thirty years failed to secure a competency against extreme age, what a dismal prospect the young man has before him who chooses public employment as a vocation for life! FALLACIES OF DEMAGOGUES AND AGITATORS. There are many well-meaning people who are misled by the phrase "producers and nonproducers," and by the assertion that "all wealth is the product of manual labor." They are phrases used ,by those agitators whose vocation Is to array one employment against another and one party necessary to the production of merchandise against the other. They are proclaimed, usually, by men who are neither the makers nor the distributors of merchandise, and who are neither capitalists nor workers, but parasites upon labor. To say that the men whose labor and skill change one material into another more valuable are the only producers of wealth is a grave mistake and an injustice to their colaborers. The products of the workshop and the factory are taken to the warehouse from the factory what value would they have If another class of men were not ready to distribute them? The marketing of the products of the factory and the farm is as essential to production as are the materials from which the goods are made; yet many workers in factories have been led to stigmatize those who take samples and travel over the country to sell the product of the shop oh mill as "nonproducers." Without them, under the present system of sharp competition, merchandise would not find the market as quickly and as surely as it does under the system of distribution which employs an army of commercial travelers and office men who are in constant correspondence with, jobbers and other distributors. The actual cost of distributing the products of a factory Is large. TaKO, for Instance, sewing machines. The cost of making Is not much more than one-half of the selling price, because the distribution and the collection of the money for which they are sold Involve so much necessary expense. When the merchandise reaches the retailer, salesmen and women are as necessary to the ultimate distribution of the good3 as any part of the system of production and distribution. Consequently, any service rendered in changing materials into forms essential to consumption and in putting them into the hands of the consumer is productive labor, either of hand or head, or both combined, and one process is as much production as any other. Equally erroneous Is the claim that labor creates all value. In the savage state, Jn agriculture, for illustration, the soil was stirred to receive the seed with a rude stick. Not only was agriculture a laborious process, but very limited. One day it occurred to one of the primitive men that the stick to stir the soil might be pointed, and he set his brains, not his bands, to devise a contrivance to sharpen the stick. He succeeded, and then his hands made the rude machine, which might have been no more than a process of friction by contact with a coarse-grained stone. The next season this savage brings out his pointed stick and surprises Ids fellows by being able to stir twice or three times as. much as those with the primitive stick. The other savaged are eac to accuire a.

sharpened stick, because it will enable them

'to make their toil produce twice as much corn. The inventor and maker pells It to one of them for a certain share of his crop. The sharpened stick is capital, benefiting both the savage who contrived it and the savage who purchased it, because the former gets, say, a half of the inCreased production due to it, and the latter a half more than he could produce without it. The Inventor, thereafter, devotes his time to making and improving his discovery. In time some other person discovers that a broad blade would turn up more soil, and another that a shett of stone can be attached to the stick, so that, in time, the man who possessed the last implement could do six times as much soil-turning as the primitive savage with his primitive stick. It was not manual labor which really gave value to the sharpened stick, but the brain which conceived it, and the gain to the inventor and to all others was not so much the result of manual labor as of the inventive capacity which turned , his gain into capital. Take another illustration: Ice is comparatively cheap, and within the reach. of the mass of people In Indianapolis, because of the discovery of the process of artificial production. This year, if our peo- , pie had depended upon natural ice, the price would have put it beyond the reach of those who most need it. For years chemists and mechanical experts have experimented to devise the material and machine which would produce artificial ice cheaply; capital was interested, and after many failures and much loss experiments proved successful. The invention, the product of study and ingenuity, has become capital. The chemists and the inventors who spent time and thought and made experiments-, would be classed to-day as nonproducers by those who claim that manual labor is the test of production; nevertheless they have given the world a discovery which has made 'the cost of an article of necessity cheap, after it had been made available by that capital which Socialists stigmatize as robbery. All that manual labor contributed to this beneficial discovery was the working out of the plans of the inventors, for which labor capital paid. Thus study; inventive capacity and capital have contributed the essentials to a discovery which has made more employment for labor and put a comfort within the reach of the masses. THE VANDERBILT SCANDAL. t-itT: There is a propensity among the accomplished gentlemen who write up sensational happenings for the press to regard the incidents of any nasty iscandal in which; prominent personages figure as '.'romantic:" This is manifest in the Vanderbilt case, but here the chroniclers go even further and endeavor to cast a shadow of pathos over the unsavory incidents by picturing the multi-millionaire as a nelpless victim of an irresistible siren. This siren " is described with much particularity and unction as so alluring and beautiful that even the sternest moralist, when made the object of her seductive wiles, could' only be come a worshiper and follow obediently l?V hi?r train. Vanderbilt, being a sufferer from domestic infelicity, naturally had less resisting power, and, once drawn unwittingly into the charmed circle, succumbed to the spell of the enchantress. Viewed from this standpoint, the tale Is quite touching, but, unfortunately, as facts come out, they compel a change in the point of view. The sensational gentlemen of the press went off, half-cocked, as It were, and described the' wrong siren. Misled by a similarity, of ' names, they picked upon a certain California beauty, and, In the language of the street, "let themselves loose" In picturing her fascinations. As they told It, sne was', one of those wonderful creatures, often ' read of, but seldom seen, so overpoweringly attractive and charming that no man was safe in her presence. What "would have happened had Vanderbilt really come within reach of this California houri's sorceries can only be conjectured; as It turns out, she ia not the woman- on whose account he has disgraced himself and family. The; actual woman in the case Is known to unpleasant fame in Paris as "fat .Nellie." Fat Nellie! Thus are romance and sentimental pathos knocked higher than a rocket. Neither can cling successfully to a fat and uncomely woman of notorious life. The truth discloses Mr. Vanderbilt not as a helpless victim of a peerless charmer, but as a willing follower after a vulgar adventuress. The truth in his case is the truth in ninety-nine cases out of a hundred, whether a millionaire or a day labor-, er is the chief figure. The man In the case is not inveigled into the tolls unwillingly, but meets the temptress, who is in reality apt to be an unprepossessing temptress, at least half way, and has no right to pose as a victim. It has been thus since the worid begun, and a Vanderbilt makes no exception to the rule. COMING ACHIEVEMENTS. The achievements of ths? nineteenth century In the way of mechanical engineering have been so great and varied that we are apt to think they cannot be equaled in the future. The progress that has been -made since the discovery of the properties of steam and its application as a motive power has indeed been marvelous. It is a long reach from the slow sailing vessel that took months to cross the Atlantic to the swift and capacious steamer that makes the voyage in six days, or from the lumbering vehicle laboriously drawn by animal power anl carrying a few thousand pounds of freight to the powerful locomotive that hauls long and heavily-laden trains of cars at the rate of twenty miles an hour. This development has been accompanied by engineering feats that have astonished the world and led many to think that the limit of progress in this direction had been reached. A little reflection will show that this is not the case, and that the opening years of the twentieth century are likely to witness the completion of some works equal In magnitude and Importance to any that have been completed during the present century. To mention only a few of the great engineering works which are either under way at present or certain to be completed witnin the next few years, there is, first, tJit NJcaraeuan canal. This work, one ' of

the boldest ever conceived and destined to be one of the most important In its commercial results, has advanced so far la Its preliminary stages that its completion Is only a question of a few years. The only other work in the world that can compare with Jt In its revolutionizing Influence on international commerce is the Suez canal, and as that was one of the greatest achievements of the nineteenth century the completion of the Nicaraguan canal will surely stand among the greatest, if not at the head, of the list of those of the twentieth. Such works as these demonstrate In a very striking way the mastery of man over nature, for they practically reconstruct the physical geography of the earth and revolutionize conditions once supposed to have been unalterably fixed by the hand of the Creator. Another great work which will undoubtedly be completed within the next generation is an international railway connecting North and South America. Considering the distance and the engineering difficulties to be overcome, this is one of the boldest works ever conceived, yet skilled engineers have pronounced it feasible and preliminary surveys confirm their judgment. In fact, much of the distance is already covered, and while that which remains to be traversed presents almost insuperable difficulties, they will be overcome. It is as certain as anything in the future can be that the early years of -the twentieth century will see a continuous railway connection between New York, by way of Mexico and Central America, and every considerable city in South America. Another stupendous work now under way and being pushed with all the energy and resources of a great government is the Siberian railway. This is one of the boldest railroad enterprises ever conceived. It never would have been assumed by private capital, and probably no other government but that of Russia would have undertaken it, but when Russia undertakes a thing of this kind she knows no such word as fail. Under government patronage this great work is being constructed with so much energy that already trains are running on the eastern division from Vladivostok, on the Sea of Japan, well into the interior, and It is expected that the entire division .will, be in operation before the close of this year. The western division Is being pushed equally as rapidly, and the middle section, on which work is the most difficult, will, it Is thought, ,be finished by 1898. Thus the beginning of the next century will witness the comple- , tlon of a railroad which will be second to none in the world in extent, quality of construction and perfection of equipment, and which must necessarily bring about a great industrial development in Russia and affect the political and social fabric of that country and indirectly influence civilization everywhere. In addition to these great works might be mentioned the ship canal schemes, of which several are being projected in Europe. One of these, to be built by Russia, will connect the Baltic and the Black sea, while another, to be constructed by French capital, will .cross southern France between the Atlantic and the Mediterranean and furnish a short cut for ships without passing through the Straits of Gibraltar. From this partial list of great engineering works, either now In progress or soon to be undertaken, it will be seen that the next century is likely to witness the consummation of works fully as difficult and important as any that have crowned the nineteenth century. The world is being made over again, and the human race is progressing more rapidly than ever before. TROUBLES OF THE FOUR HUNDRED.

Every now and then the public the commonplace, everyday, plebeian public is afforded a glimpse of high life not altogether to edification. As often as not this glimpse comes through the medium of an unpleasant scandal or the divorce court, and through these open doors the fact is made known that the skeletons In the closets of the Four Hundred 'are quite as numerous and as grisJy as those in more modest habitations. It is discovered that happiness does not exist in exact proportion to the size of the bank account. Nevertheless, so prone is the average mortal In this commercial age to associate a full purse with perfect felicity that moral derelictions and consequent misery of millionaires never cease to excite surprise. There is always the wonder as to why they are not satlsled with the legitimate pleasures that wealth will buy and which seem so enticing to those without money but must needs follow after strange gods, and into by and forbidden paths. A study of any one case will show the cause of this frequent moral vagrancy among the opulent. Take, for instance, the disclosures of the Vanderbilt scandal the most recent in the list. It appears, according to the accounts of presumably veracious family friends, that Mr. and Mrs. "Willie" Vanderbilt were not well adapted to each other for the reason that Mrs. Willie was too exacting in her demands upon her husband and his friends. . The most heinous specification against her Is that, during their tour of the Mediterranean, she objected to having the party leave the yacht at every town and remain away all night. She also protested against being left to her own devices while Willie and his companions pfayed poker. In order to keep her in a good humor it was the custom of these high-toned gentlemen, all members of the inner court of the Four Hundred, to cut cards to determine which, one should sacrifice himself by entertaining the lady. This incident throws a light upon the habits and lives of these people which leaves further illumination unnecessary. In the social life of ordinary people it would be the privilege and pleasure of any wellbred gentleman to devote himself to the entertainment of his hostess whenever occasion required. These men were indisposed to put themselves to inconvenience for any cause, and did not hesitate to rebel openly against the rules of commpn civility. They were all so accustomed to selfgratification that deference to the wishes of others in the smallest degree was Irksome to them, and they did not hesitate to show their feelings. It was simply a development of the l&Unse selfishness likely to be enlarged by wealth and its luxuries.

Probably Vanderbilt and Ms wife would have found themselves happy and harmonious enough had the circumstances of their lives compelled the rnutval tolerance of personal faults and1 the self-sacrifices which fall to the lot of most married couples. As it is, they are too selfish and too much accustomed to the gratification of their respective whims to make concessions to each other, and misery is the inevitable consequence. The universal pursuit of wealth will not be checked by such spectacles as these, but the glamour thrown about its possessors is sure to bo so lessened that they are seen in their true proportions. Let H' He Retained. The absolute self-complacency of the down-Easterner In regard to his peculiar vernacular Is a constant source of amazement to residents of, the West, most of whom are frank enough to admit that certain idioms of their own region are open to criticism. The New Englander and the New Yorker are apt to have the most serene confidence that their own speech Is of the purest English, and an equal inability to comprehend that any of their favorite expressions are provincialisms. An example of this calm assurance is displayed by a writer in the New York Tribune, who discourses of provincialisms and dialects and wonders why Westerners insist upon pronouncing "the ugiy r " whenever it ends a word. The writer adds: "It is a mark of early neglect that Is almost impossible to eradicate, for the reason that those who use it are quite unconscious of the difference. This unfortunate habit is unhappily spreading, and is not confined, as formerly, to certain localities, but threatens to become a general AmericanIsm." Where the writer , gets hh authority for eliminating the terminal "r" he does not say, and, as a matter of fact, he has none save usage In his own locality, which by no means fixes a general law. He might as easily undertake to prove that he Is right In hl3 habit of adding an "r" to words where it does not belong, or to justify the cockney's superfluous "h's," as to show that the "r" should be dropped simply because in his. own careless speech be has become accustomed to slurring it. "R" is a character of respectable and honorable origin, and there Is no reason, save that of a provincial sort, why It should be treated with less consideration than the rest of the alphabet! If it sounds "queer" to New Yorkers- to hear Westerners pronounce the letter plainly. It seems no less queer in the vast region known as the . West when speakers ignore its existence. The use of it is so extended that it may be called not only an "Americanism," but an Anglicism, being a legitimate feature, of correct English speech. It may be remarked in this connection that the verdict of many cultivated travelers of unprejudiced mind Is that the purest English on this side ofhe Atlantic is spoken not in Boston, nor in New York, nor on the Pacific coast, but in the middle West. The manufacture of perfumes has reached great perfection. There seems to be no end to the delightful . odors compounded by modern chemistry to perfume my lady's boudoir, to scent her handkerchiefs or to gratify our sensitive olfactories. But, after all, how meager and impotent are the resources of art compared with those of nature. Chemistry can mix perfumes and form new combinations of what it find3 ready made, but it cannot create a new one. Nature. makes all her own perfumes, and that, too, from the crudest materials. Given a crock, a plant, some earth and water and she will distill a perfume such as was never dreamed of in your chemls-. try. Human chemists can analyze and compound, but they cannot originate or improve on nature's methods. No chemist can take earth, air and water and distill therefrom the varied perfumes of mignonette, heliotrope, tuberose,', violet, carnation, etc. Step Into a flower garden one of these evenings and you shall find the air fairly heavy with the rich perfumes the different plants are giving out. Nature is at work. Her processes are simple, noiseless and inexpensive, and her materials such as the human artist ' could do nothing with. But they are all she wants, and out of them she distills perfumes infinitely more delicate, more penetrating and more satisfying than any the perfumer's art can compound. He only alms at perpetuating nature's effects, and if he tries to counterfeit her works, It is a poor imitation. The best he can do is to distill nature's distillations and appropriate her properties.

In a magazine article on "Literary Chicago" a newspaper man is quoted as saying: "I may compare literary Chicago to a lunch at a gaming table. The player eats with one hand and draws cards with the other. Chicago never has supported a man who did nothing but write books, and I see no Indication of a chaange." The same might be said of New York, or Boston, or Philadelphia, or any other city. Men who write books live In all these places, but If their books are worth having it Is the country at large that buys the works- and so supports the authors. The residence city only do:s its share. Doubtless Chicago has contributed a fair proportion to the support of American authors generally, and If thosa within its borders have not received encouragement there has probably been good reason. When a gr:at book produced in Chicago goes without recognition there It will be time for copplaint Such an accident as that which befell the Etrect-railroad company oa Friday night, the explosion of a boiler and temporary interruption of power, is really unavoidable, and yet the public has a right to demand that every possible means shall be used to repair the results as soon as possible. There will be large crowds here during the next few days, and visitors as well as citizens will be subjected to great Inconvenience and th managers of some local enterprises to serious loss unless the street-railroad service Is equal to the occasion. Under the circumstances the management should and doubtless will spare no. expense or effort to furnish first-class service at the earliest possible nonerit. Conan Doyle, the novelist, in describing some of his early literary experiences, says: "Fifty little cylinders of manuscript did I send out during eight years, which described Irregular orbits among publishers, and usually came back like paper boomerangs to the place that they had started from. Yet In time they all lodged somewhere or other." If there were no other reason why they failed to lodge, the fact that they were cylinders is explanatlve enough. The sight of a rolled manuscript creates a prejudice in the editorial mind which is difficult to overcome. That staid religious organ, the Interior, which has been conducting a discussion on the propriety of having Individual communion cups, permits an irreverent contributor to suggest that each communicant provide himself with a straw through which he can safely sip from a common cup. This would seem at once to solve the microbe problem and save expense. A writer In a woman's magazine, ostensibly with the purpose of saying something nice about Miss Frances Willard, tils how that lady hzs come back from England "with primroses on her cheeks." But the primrose is the yellowest of yellow, and a woman's magazine! Did the writer really mean to.be complimentary? lnless the City Council can find some way to enable people to get to Garfield

Park an expenditure of Sl.'.rm Fems cut of gear with intelligent economy. m wiles i the air. Abont I he Same. "Any of them farce comedies goln onf asked the rural visitor of his companion. "Don't see none in the paper." "That's too bad. Anyhow, we kin g out. and visit the loonatic asylum."

Too Impresaible "Where Is that pretty typewriter you hAd here 7" asked the caller. "Had to let her go," answered the author. "She was so impressible that when it came to writing the love passages she touched the keys so tenderly that the letters didn't print." MoM Likely. "Minnie, you are studying German; what is the name for 'bicycle' In that language?" "I haven't learned that yet, but I should guess that it is about 'the two-wheeled-n.achlne - that - :reserve-lts-balance-only-when-propelled-rapidly-forward. or something of the sort. Modern Protection. "Have you cut off that villain's head yet?" asked his Majesty, referring to aa obnoxious person who cuts no particular figure. "We have not," admitted the Prime Minister. "His attorney has shown us that all of his property Is In his wife's name." "What the dickens has that got to do -with itr "Why, it makes him execution proof; don't you see?" LITERARY NOTES. Dr. Oliver Wendell Holmes Is daily engaged in dictating his "Recollections" t his secretary, but they are not to be published until after his death. Prof. Max Muller is preparing for th press a new edition, in four volumes, of his "Chips from a German Workshop." The books have long been out of print. Sarah Grand, whose name by marriage la 'Mrs. C. R. McFall, resides at Kensington, the London suburb. It Is said that she received only for the manuscript of "The Heavenly Twins." The Magazine of American History, a New. York, formerly conducted by the late Mrs. Lamb, and suspended about a year ago, is to be revived under the editorship of Gen. O. O. Howard. It Is declared by some students of English history that in "Lord Ormont and His Amlnta" Mr. George Meredith has followed In part the history of the great Earl of Peterborough and Anastasia Johnson. That was a clever hit which the late Lc6nte de Lisle once.rr In speaking of Baudelaire. "Baudelai e said, "we.s a good fellow who usef urn his brain, an one churns butter, ' l strange ideas Some people in Eng are asking why Jean Ingelow could mt be the poet laureate. She is living In an old-fashioned hous'e in Kensington. London, and is now a gentle, gray-haired woman of nearly seventyfour years. Mr. Julian Ralph has gone to Japan, where 7:e will make studies of the war "for Harper's Weekly and Harper's Magazine. He will be met at Yokohama by Mr. C. D. Weldon. the artist, who will ; co-operatd with Mr. Ralph in his new labors. The Century Publishing Company Is preparing to issue the Century C5clopedIa of Names, being a pronouncing and etymological dictionary of names in gKgraphy. biography, history, fiction, etc. It will In uniform In size and typography with the Cf.ntury Dictionary. An Important work, soon to be Issued by Macmillan & Co., is a new and complete concordance of Shakspeare' works, by John Bartlett. author of the "Dictionary cf Familiar Quotations." The authorship is sufficient guarantee that the work will be accurate and comprehensive. The editors of the Advance, having patiently borne with the words "sermonettes and "storiettes" in Its contemporaries, are at last goaded to protest by the' ZIon'a Herald's "essaylet." So thtv write a notelet asking their editorial brethren to. ab stain from such diminutives. Mr. T. B. Aldrich Is f'oing to Japan and India this autumn, to g.vthef materials for a volume of travel sketcnes In the manner of "From . Ponkapog to Pesth." Mrs. Aldrich will tccompany him. Unless the travelers get "homesick and retrace their steps, they wili complete the circuit of the globe, returning by way of England. Mrs. Thaxter. whose death was announced last week, wrote because the poetry was in her life and heart, not because she wished to manufacture poems. Her last volume, "An Island Garden." a delightful record of her sympathy with the sea, tha flowers and the birds, is a final witness of her sincerity and her sympathy with nature. Mr. Marion Crawford sailed for Genoa a fortnight ago, after having been a year in the United States. During that time he has traveled from one end of the country to the other in settling the affairs of his late father-in-law's estate, and has written one novelette, "Love in Idleness." and four novels "Marion Darche," "Katharine Lauderdale," "John Ralston." and VCasa Bracclo." AIIOITT PEOPLE AND THINGS. Janauschek will deliver a series of leotures on the drama 'during the winter. She will deal with the origin and development of the theater. The living war Governors are Sprague of Rhode Island. Curtln of Pennsylvania, Samuel J. Kirkwood of Iowa and Richard J. Ogleeby of Illinois. It Is said that Senator Dolph. of Oregon, never smiles. In the whole course of his service In the Senate nobody has seen his eye light up or his lip quiver. Why it Is no Villi naif rvcr iitu uitr Luuiat,c iu a n.. It is reported that Miss Frances E. Wil-. lard has decided not to advocate political prohibition any longer. 6he thinks that the best way to promote temperance among workingmen is to better their social condition. ' Th9 piano, the billiard table and the game of tarock are the favorite amusements of Johann Strauss, the great composer of waltzes. He has grown rich from his music, but lives very unostentatiously In a plain house in Vienna. His devotion to billiards is so intense that he has been known to pass a whole night at the table. A recent issue of a newspaper of Monon-' gaheia City, Pa., announced that Elder J. M. Springer, of Belle Vernon, would preach' on Sunday at Duquesne.. marry a couple at Fayette City on Monday and conduct, a funeral at Belle Vernon on vvednesday.Mr. Springer is a preacher, a Justice of th peace, an . undertaker and a furniture dealer. Thomas A. Garfield, the only brother of the assassinated President, Is living on a farm ten miles from Grand Rapids. He ia more than seventy years old, and is now lame with rheumatism and suffers with neuralgia. In the house opposite dwells James A. Garfield, his son. als a farmer, who has recently been elected Justice or the peace. Although the use of quinine as a remedy for malarial fevers has been known since 1C83, It remained for Dr. Maillot, who died in Paris a few week3 ago, aged nln?ty-one. to apply it on a large scale In hospitals, which he did in 1K2. and later in Ajaccio and Algiers. In US the French government granted him for his services to the army a pension of 6,000 francs. Louise Lease, the eleven-year-old daughter of Aunt Mary, Lease, shows that she has inherited many of the traits of her mother. In Topeka, the other day, she gathered one hundred boys of the reform school under the trees and lectured them, telling them they ought to behave. At the conclusion she announced she would be a candidate for President some day and wanted them to vote for her. Sir Isaac Holden. M. P., has an odd taste. One-half of the week he Is a vegetarian; during the rest of the week he reeks sustenance In the flesh pots. He drowns his claret in aerated water, will make a night Journey on the Thames without an overcoat, will walk six miles, and cs.n manage four big cigars af;er dinner without flinching. He is the oldest man tut one in th House, and Mr. Gladstone's senior by four years. More than two hundred persons have answered an advertisement for American singers to form part of the chorus at the Metropolitan Opera House in New York. Heretofore the chorus has been made 'up for the most part of foreign singers, whose o.ie recommendation was that they knew most of the music and could be maJi ready wth few rehearsal.. Fresher and belter voices