Indianapolis Journal, Indianapolis, Marion County, 24 January 1885 — Page 11

. Two Sonnet*. I. M itvo<’lCAM, .Sept- 11, 1884. Wild fields of Oocan. piling he*p on heap Thy mountainous wealth of water, but to fling i. Abroad in spoudtheif* sit!! Am scattering to the winds what none would keep; Thou canst not know so sweet a thing .vi sleep For all thy toil, nor hone whereto to cling— Plowed by the winds in ope unending spring— What harvest, oi the storm hast thou to reap? Sfv spirit owns, bnt will not bend before Tins dull brute might, and purvo-eii'S, of thine; 'The sea-bird resting on thy wave is more Than thou, by all its faculty divine To suffer; pang is none in this thy roar, . And all the joy that lifts tby wave is mine! H. Niagara. Sept. 27, 1834. Almighty voice that rallest me from sleep, Sleepless thyself through all tho past or time, ‘And still unspent, inscrutable, sublime. What answer can I make thee but to creep, And hide my s lence in the all-sheltering <lep E'en of the music? Clash of rhyme on rhyme Offend* mine oar as ’twere a futile crime. Breaking the peace which reverence should keep. Vet for my worship lacking better way. A;td seeing how thy strength is crowned with grace, And maddened with the beauty of thy face, I am constrained to cry, as best I may, And tell thee with nv faint, adoring breath That at thy haud I fain would tasto of death. —Emily Pfeiffer. Whatever Is, I* Best. I know, as mv life grows older, And mine eyes have clearer sight. That, under each rank wrong, somewhere There lies the root of right. That each sorrow has it purpose. By the sorrowing oft unguessed; But as sure as the sun brings morning, W hatever is, is best. I know that each sinful action. As sur e as the night brings shade. Is sometime, somewhere punished, Tho’ the hour be long delayed. I know that the soul is aided Sometimes by the heart's unrest, And to grow means oftep to sutler; But whatever is, is best. • I know that there are no errors In the groat eternal plan, And all things work together For the tinal good of man. Ami I know when my soul snoods onward In the grand, eternal qne*t. I shall say. as I look earthward, Whatever is, is best. —Eiia Wheeler Wilcox, in The Rambler. Tlie Dear, Dead Past. Yea! men will cling With a love to the last, And wildly fling Their arms round their past! j%h the vine that clings to the oak that fulls, A* the ivy twines round the crumbled walls; For the dust of the past some hearts higher prize Thau the stars that flash out from the future s bright skies. And why not so? The old, old years, They knew and they know All our hopes and fears; I We walked by their side, and we told them each grief. And they kissed off our tears while they whispered relief; And the stories of hearts that may not be revealed. In the hearts of the dead years are buried and sealed. —Father Ryan. Frowns or Smiles? W here do they go, I wonder, The clouds on a cloudy day, When the shining sun comes peeping out And scatters them all away? I know!—They keep them and cut them down For cross little girls who want a frown. Frowns, and wrinkles, and pouts—oh. my! How many't would make—one cloudy sky! I think I should like it better A sunshiny day to take And cut it down for dimples ami smiles, — What beautiful ones 'twould make! Enough for all the dear little girls With pretty bright eves and waving curls, To drive the scowls and frowns away, Just like the sun on a cloudy day —Sydney Ihiyre, in February St. Nicholas.

In. Cuming Hours. In coming hours when all we say Makes fullness of our bliss to-<lay Has faded as from summer sky Trie sunset glories slowly die, i com gold ami rose to dreary gray. And I must learu as best I may To watch it, as it fades away; I think I will not moan or cry In coming hours. I think T will not utter “nay,” Knowing that all things must decay; Nor even weep, or question why; But o’er our dead dream, tenderly, For blessings for mydarliug pray, in coming hours. All tho Year Round. Here by My Fire. Fere by my tire, which cracks and glows, Idly I sit while tieeov snows Are lying on tho earth’s cold breast, And muse on all that I love best, Forgetful of my wants aud woes. Soft-footed sloop a touch bestows, And weary eyelids part way close, And fitfully I wake and rest Here by my fire. The flames are full of friends and foest The mutt procession comes and g'>es, Led by a form divinely dressed; Os her I dream. This girlish guest May share my seat sometime—who knows? Here by my tire. —Now York Star. Afterglow. When day has shut his prying eye WMhin his chamber of the West. And neither moon nor stars are nigh. And listening winds are laid to rest, Ami tell-tale birds brood on tho nest, Glad Earth looks up to happy Bky To tell his love ore it lie night. Ho whispers love beneath his brath. And sweet and secret things lie saith, Till—lo! she blushes with delight. —The Independent. CORK FRESCOES. The Costly Record of Ooodfellowship Written on the WulL New York Pun. ‘ ? Save that, Gus, and stick it on the ceiling.” A white aproned waiter had just pulled the cork from a bottl9 of champagne in the wine-room back of the stage in Roster & Rial's concert hall when Mr. Bial fired the above order at him. Four guests in the cozy room.looked straight up at the ceiling, and then joined in a simultaneous exclamation of surprise and admiration. Traced on the ceiling were all sorts of pretty ornamental designs, and the names of popular singers and actresses. On the walls were more of these designs wjth other names interwoven in them. Tho ornamental work was made entirely of champagne corks. Some had glistening metal tops and others were strung with cordlike tendrils. To add to the unique appearance of the room, the wall lights, which were electric loops, were enclosed in real champague bottles, sealed with plaster of Paris, which were held in hands modelled in bronze. Tiny champagne baskets, packed with oorks, stood on brackets between the bottles. “What do you call it, Bial?” cried the guests. “This is the cork-room,” Mr. Bial said, sipping h.is wine and smillinp, “and the only-one of the kind tn ike cpuntry. There are 11.000 corks all toid in the fancy work as it stands. They are the corks of the 11,00 b Jetties of champague which have l*>en drunk in this since it was established. The name* and designs wefi Put U P it* cardboard on the ceiling first, aud were theu filled in with corks as fast as the bottles were emptied. Each name is made up of the corks of bottles emptied in toasts to the owner of the name. It was a happy thought, and it has worked out into a remarkable ornamentation of my office.” — A Profound Observation. I*itt*>bnrg f'lirordcle-Telegraph. Human nature is queer. Men will pas* big windows full of stockings without giving them a single glance, and then stop in the rain and interestedly gaze upon one in the middle of a muddy street crossing. He Thanks His Paper. Mr. Editor I was -induced by reading your Jood paper to try Dr. Harter’s Iron Tonic for ability, liver disorder and scrofula, and three bottles have cured me. Accept my thanks. Jos. C- Boggs. —Ex.

UNCOIN AND DUFF GREEN. The Ntinging Rebuke Administered to a Secession Fanatic. Admiral Porter's Recent Paper, A man appeared at the landing dressed in gray homespun with a somewhat decayed appearance, aud with a stall about six feet long in his hand. It was. in fact, nothing more than a stick taken from a wood pile. It was two and a half inches in diameter, and was not even smoothed at tho knots. It was just such a weapon as a man would pick up to kill a mad dog with. “Who are you and what do you want?" asked the officer of the deck. “You cannot come on board unless you have important business." “1 am Duff Green,” said the man. “I want to see Abraham Lincoln, and my business concerns myself alone. You tell Abraham Lincoln Duff Green wants V> see him.” Tho oGioer came down into the cabin and delivered the message. I arose and said: “I will go up aDd send him away,” but the President said: “Let him come on board. Duff is an old friend of mine, and I would like to talk to him.” I then went, on deck to have a boat sent for him, and to see what kind of a man this was who sent off such arrogant messages to the President of the United States. lie stepped into the boat a3 if it belonged to him: instead of sitting down, he stood up, leaning on his long staff. When ho came over the side, he stood on the deck defiantly, looked up at tho flag and scowled, and then, turning to me. (whom he knew very well), he said: “I want to see Abraham Lincoln.” He paid no courtesy to me or to the quarter-deck. It bad been a very long time since he had shaved or cut his hair, and he might have come under the head of “unkempt and uot canny.” “When you come," I said, “in a respectful manner, the President will see you, but throw away that cord of wood you have in your haud, before entering the President’s presence.” “How long is it,” said he, “since Abraham Lincoln took to aping royalty? Man dressed in brief authority, cuts such fantastic capers before high heaven that it makes the angels weep. I can expect airs from a naval officer, but 1 don't expect to find them in a man with Abraham Lincoln's horse sense.” I thought the man crazy, and think so still. “.I can't permit you to see the President,” I said, “until I receive further instructions, but you can’t see him at all until you throw that woodpile overboard.” He turned on his heel and tried to throw the stick on shore, but it fell short, and went floating down with the current “Ah!” he said, “has it come to that? Is he afraid of assassination? Tyrants generally get into that condition.” I went down and reported this queer customer to the President, and told him I thought the man crazy, but he said: “Let him come down; he always was a little queer. I shan't mind him.” Mr. Duff Green was shown into the cabin. The President got up from his chair to receive him, aud approaching him, offered him his hand. “No,” said Green, with a tragic air, ‘it is rod with Wood; I can’t touch it. When I knew it, it was an honest band. It has cut the throats of thousands of my people, and their blood which now lies soak ing in tne ground cries aloud to heavon for vengeance. I came to see you, not for old remembrance’s sake, but to give you a piece of my opinion. You won’t like it, but 1 don’t care, for people don’t generally like to have the truth told them. You have come here, protected by your army and navy to gloat over the ruin and desolation you.have caused. You are a second Nero, and had you lived in his day you would have fiddled while Rome was burning!” When the fanatic commenced this tirade of abuse, Mr. Lincoln was standing with his hand outstretched, his mouth wreathed with the pleasant smile he almost always wore, and bis eyes lighted up as when anything pleased him. He was pleased because he was about to .meet an old and eifteemed friend, and better pleased that he had oome to see him of his own accord. Mr., Lincoln gradually withdrew his outstretched hand as Duff Green started on his talk, the smile left bis bps as the talkor got to the middle of his harangue, and the softness of his eyes faded out. He was another man altogether. Had any one shut his eyes after Duff Green commenced speaking, and opened them when he stopped, he would have seen a perfect transformation. His slouchy position had disappeared, his mouth was compressed, his eyes were fixed, and he looked four inches taller than usual. Duff Green went on without noticing the change in the President’s manner and appearance. “You came here,” he continued, “to triumph over a poor conquered town, with only women and children in it; whose soldier's have left it. aud would rather starve than see your hateful presence here. Those soldiers—and only a handful, at that —who have for four years defied your paid mercenaries on these glorious hills, and have taught you to respect the rights of the South. You have given your best blood to conquer them and no *ou will march back to your demoralized cap. .1, and lay out your wits to win them over so that you can hold this government in perpotuity. Shame on you! Shame on -•—” Mr. Lincoln could stand it r.o longer; his coarse hair stood on end, and liis nostrils dilated like those of an excited race-horse. He stretched out his long right arm, and extended his lean forefinger until it almost touched Duff Green’s face. He made one step forward, to place himself as near as possible to this vituperator, and in a clear, cutting voice addressed him. He was really graceful while he was si>eaking—the grace of one who is expressing his honest convictions. “Stop, you political tramp,” he exclaimed, “you, the aider and abettor of those who have brought all this ruin on your country, without the courage to risk your person in defence of the principles you profess to espouse. A fellow who stood by to gather up the loaves and fishes, if any should fall to you. A man who had no principles in the North, and who took none South with him A political hyena who robbed the graves of the dead, and adopted their language as his own! You talk of the North cutting the throats of the Southern people. You have all cut your own throats, and, unfortunatelv. have cut many of those of the North. Miserable impostor, vile Intruder, go before I forget myself, and the high position I hold. Go, I tell you, and don’t desecrate this national vessel another minute!” And he made a step toward him. This was something which Duff Green had not calculated upon; he had never seen Abraham Lincoln in anger. His courage failed him, and he turned and fled out of the cabin, and up the cabin stairs as if the avenging angel was after him. He never stopped until lie’ reached the gangway, and there he stood looking at. the shore, seemingly measuring the distauce, to see if he could swim to the landing. I was close behind him. and when I got on deck, I said to the officer in charge: “Put that man on shore, and if he appears in sight of this vessel while we are here have him sent away with scant ceremony.” He was as humble at that moment, as a whipped dog. and hurried into the boat. The last I saw of him he was striding rapidly over the fields, as if to reach the shelter of tho woods The man must have been deranged. When I returned to the cabin, about fifteen minutes iater. the President was perfectly calm—as if nothing had happened—and did not return to the subject for some hours. Stretching Shoes with Betons. Boston Journal. A Florida youth who bought a pair of shoes without trying them on, found, on reaching home, that they were just an eighth of an inch too small all around. He thought, however, that lie would enlarge them sufficiently by tho “beau” process, so he filled each shoe to the top with largo white beans—the variety that swell nearly double their size—gave them all the water they could hold, and left them over night to the mercy of the beans. In the morning he found that they bad increased in size from No. 5 >*. apparently No. 8, and that the uppers had raised up cm £ ne *ide, ©spring a huge crevasse, aud allowing the to escape for several feet around. The next Dm® he Will pare dowu his feet. Cat-Skinning as a Trade. Liverpool Courier. Last year over 1,500,000 eat3 were killed for their skins, which have beeome valuable as fur lining. The industry of cat-skin collecting, as an industry, is of very recent growth. If, within so short a space of time, the casual destruction. for uheir hides, of a few stray cats has assumed the respectable dimensions of a solid traffic, estimated in round numbers at hundreds of thousands of skins, what will it boa decade hence? About the superiority of cat’s skins, in one way or another, over those of rat, rabbit, or squirrel, there is no question. The cost of production, too, can not be called excessive, seeing that each skin is stolon, aud the whole original

THE INDIANAPOLIS JOURNAL, SATURDAY, JANUARY 24, 1885.

outlay one stout stick for dispatching puss and a sack to carry her b°pi? m, while the rtfm working expenses are the wear And tear of shoe leather in tramping the streets for prey, and a very casual s‘2 penalty for such as are detected in the act. How, under such a combination of favoring circumstances, can industry do anything but thrive. —■" " ■———n.. ■ A BIT OF HISTORY. How tlie Women of Wyoming Obtained the Right to Vote. Report of New York Suffrage Meeting. At last, when Mrs. Blake madfe a flank movement and routed the two male wranglers, the tall man with the long, expressionless face was introduced as Governor Lee. the first Governor of Wyoming, also a journalist, and now a legal practitioner in this city. As soon as he began to speak his long face lighted up and grew positively handsome, the glassy eyes burned with enthusiasm, and he made as hearty, graceful and \ritty a little speech as ever 1 listened to. Altogether he was a great surprise to everybody who did not know him. Among other interesting things he told the inner history of how they enfranchised women in Wyoming. It was not. as some might naturally believe, the result of superior acumen or liberal mindedness on the part of Wyoming law-mak-ers. It was simply a gigantic advertisement for the Territory. The Governor said he was sitting in his office one day. when a slouching, angular, tobacco-masti-cating member of the Legislature entered, and said: “Gov’enur. I’m worried and down-hearted. This term's drawin’ near its close and I’ve done nothin’ to make my constituents think I’m a great fellow, and I’m afraid they won’t elect me again. Hang it, what can I do? There’s nothing particular anyone can do. I wish I could think of something to do that would set them all talking about me.” “I’ll tell you what to do,” said the Governor; “introduce a bill to enfranchise the women. That will make you talked about all over the United States.” “But what if it should pass!” said tlie noble Solon in dismay. “Make it pass. You want it to pass.” replied the Governor. “Why. don’t you know that such a thing as that would advertise Wyoming all over the world! Talked about! Why, man, you would cover yoursc-lf all over with glory.” The idea was so novel and astonishing that the ambitious legislator could not turn it over in his limited mind all at ouce. He went home to think about it. In a day or two he returned, beaming and hopeful. He had decided that he would do it, and he chuckled with satisfaction at the thought of the glory he was about to accumulate by the masterstroke of diplomacy. The governor drafted the bill, and when the noble lawmaker called for it he pocketed it with the remark that after suffrage had been granted women, and the Territory had reaped all the advertising advantages which would accrue therefrom, it would be easy enough to “tako the ballot away from ’em.” Tho bill was introduced and talked up on the score of its advertising merits, and, as we all know, it passed. Then when woman suffrage became a fixed fact the vorv men who had labored for it began to talk about repealing the bill. “But,” said Governor Leo, “it is not easy to deprive a people of vested right.” and the# were obliged to accept the work of their own hands, which in this case was a remarkable instance of the “mysterious way” in which God moves to perform wonders.

STRANGER THAN FICTION. An Old Colored Man and His First Love—A New Enoch Arden. Barnwell (Ga.) Sentinel. Away back, about the year 1857, an old colored couple, to whom had been born several children, were forced to part by the sale of the wife and children to parties who took them out. of the county. The old man says that he never heard anything more of his wife, aud becoming reconciled to the situation, found another who expressed a willingness to share the sorrows of his declining years. To her he was married, andwith her has lived to the present time. A few days ago the little cabin of this couple, who now reside in our town, was startled by the announcement that wife No. 1 had aiTived at a point fifteen miles from here, and would be glad, to have a visit from her former husband. It seems that the last wife insisted that her request should be complied with, And in a short time the husband was brought face to face with the wife he hnd not seen for nearly thirty years. Since his return he tells us that from this wife he receives the good news, long hoped for, concerning his children—that they are all married and doing well, and that the wife of his better days traveled over two hundred and fifty miles “all for mo,’’and still boasts of a warm spot in her heart for her first husband. The old man is in the awful pre dicament of being between two wives and says that he must have time in which to decide whether he will take the first or cling to the last, by whom he has no children. This is rather a remarkable occurance, and one calculated to put wiser men than the old darky to thinking. He needs at least a half dozen mathematicians to figure out which of tiie two wives he belongs to. ——— The Congressional Nose lilower, Washington Correspondence Pittsburg Dispatch. I heard a gentleman remark, the other day, that you could always tell a gentleman by the way he blows his nose. This may be considered a society item, it is not my way of ascertaining whether or not a man is a gentleman. His definition, however,'reminded me of a good story told on a member of the He had often been offensive to those who sat next to him by his manner of blowing his nose with his fingers and expectorating in a reckless manner under the desks. In the language of my society critic, lie wps no gentleman. His neighbor happened to be a Southern gentleman of great neatness, aud if he carried a six-shooter, he also carried a handkerchief. He was excessively annoyed, and was often divided in his mind as to whether he should pull the handkerchief or the revolver on his tormentor. Finally he decided on the more peaceful course, aud, purchasing a dozen good haudkerchiefs, placed them on the uo gentleman's desk. As it was just before the holidays, the no-gentleman was not surprised or offended. He simply exclaimed: “By Jove! Somebody has made me a nice present.” “Very nice, indeed,” remarked the donor. “A very sensible, practical present?” “Yes, I think so. Have no use for them myself, but I’ll send ’em home to my wife for a Christmas present" And, to the dismay and disgust of the donor, he called a page and had the parcel done up. addressed, aud promptly franked it to his wife as “part of the Congressional Record." Spiritualistic Tricks. Loudon Truth. With regard to ghosts, nothing is more simple than to deceive half-a dozen credulous persons by making them believe that they are in the presence of spirits. It is the easiest of easy tricks. It is done either by the medium personating the ghosts, or by means of a confederate. The medium requests his dupes to sit in a circle, and one grasps his right haud and another his left. The medium then writhes, and manages to slip away, leaving the two to hold each other's hands, which, during his contortions he has brought together. The rest, of course, is not difficult The spirit-hand trick is performed in this way; the medium puts a hand made of a stuffed glove up his leg, and attached by an elastic string to his waist When the dark seance commences, he gets the band down to the end of his foot, extends his foot to the opposite side of the table at which he is sitting, and waves the stuffed glove about. If a little phosphorus is rubbed on it, the effect is better. When the performance has been £one through, all that the medium has to do is to set the hand spring back underneath his trouser. The floating trick is pertued by taking off the boots and putting the hands in T* 44 'l'he hands are then waved above a person's heat!, wlw PS tfc e boots and feels the arms of the coat, wLiCft lege. Os course so long as people are pre*7* i * fit * to pay money for witnessing these tomfooleries, knaves will be found to practice them. ———— — Many years have passed since Dr. Price’s Cream Baking Powder was first offered to the public; and its superiority over all baking powders and other means for making wholesome, light swoet bread and biscuits has been established. Still victorious, standing to day in the estimation of thousands as the only safe and reliable powder to use.

HUMOR OF THE PAY. -Timmy loved Jennie, but Jessie wns cold, Till Jimmy, despairing, spoke raChe bold, “Miss Jennie I think If you’ll go to the rink. You 11 find in the skating a pleasure nntold." They weut aud soon Jimmy 's skatorial art Rolled him rapidly into his fair Jennie’s heart. Young man go thou aud do likewise. —New York Dial. Gloom Ahead. New York Sun. “What makes you look so gloomy, Jones? In trouble?" “Yes, my mother in-law died last night ” “All, excuse me, I hadn’t heard of the sad ” “ And I promised my wife that 1 wouldn’t drink anything for a week. Over six days yet!” A Definition. Pittsburg Chronicle-Telegraph. . . “Pah,” asked young Johnuio Jarphly, “what is a defaulter?” “He is a man who loses money that does not belong to him, my son,” replied Mr. Jarphly. “And what is a financier?” “One who hangs on to it” Not a Proper Present. Bostou Transcript. “What shall I givo the children? I want to make them a handsome present, you know,” said a railway magnate. “Why don’t, you give them some of the stock in your road?” suggested his wife. “What are you thinkihg of?” cried the r. m. in amazement. “Do you want to drown the children?” Too Full for Utterance. New York Sun. An undertaker was seen to enter an up town roller-skating rink and gaze quietly about him. “Well, Mr. Mould,” said the proprietor of the establishment, “what do you think of the now popular sport? Rather a gay scene, is it not?” Mr. Mould made no reply, but he pressed the proprietor’s hand warmly, and departed with an elastic step. How to Keep a Diary. Boston Post. “I am going to keep a diary; won't you kindly tell me how to begin it?”—Lily. “Well, to te'l you the honest nude truth, Lil, we don’t know much about this matter, but we have seen several young ladies’ diaries,'and they all begin: ‘Got up at 8 o’clock; played the piano one hour; went into the kitchen and watched mother cleaning the stove; went down to Mabel’s; Mabel is horrid; took a nap after dinner; am tired out; Claude called in the evening; I am so happy, O, dear.’ ” The Rhinoceros and the Lawyer* Detroit Free Press. A Rhinoceros, having run down a Lawyer, stood over the Prostrate man for a Moment to float- upon his Prize, when the Victim made an lamest Appeal for his life, claiming that he would some day Return the great Favor. Tho Rhinoceros Deliberated for a while, and then Peeided to let the Lawyer go. Several weeks afterwards the Beast got into a Row with an Elephant and killed him, and Fearing trouble he weut to the Lawyer and said: “Now is your time to Return that Favor. I want you to Defend ray casa” “Oh —ah—exactly,” stammered the Lawyer, “but you are just too Late. Only last night the Friends of tho Elephant Retained me to help Prosecute you. Sorry, you Know, but first come first served.” moral: When you get a Lawyer on his Hip never let go. A Story of Joseffy. Kt. Paul Pioneer Press. On Christmas day a party of six St. Paul young people wont up to Minneapolis for a wild lark. After visiting the Opera-house, roller rink, refreshment parlors and other places similarly attractive, they finally sought a brief rest in the spacious parlor of the West. A moment after their arrival thero a strange gentleman entered, aud, seating himself at the piano, began to run a few scales. To him the boldest of our young gentlemen said: “Can you play, sir?" “Oh, yes; I drum a little.” “Would you mind playing for us to waltz?” “Not at all.” So pleasant was the waltz that its repetition was requested again and again, and finally, when our young people subsided, breathless, Mr. Pianist was rewarded with an “Oh, thank you; you play very nicely.” As he was withdrawing the hotel clerk entered, and was interrogated by one of the young ladies: “Do you know who that gentleman is who just played for us?” “Oh, yes, miss; that is Josefty.”

Wliat Made a Maalier Mad. Detroit Free Press. They rat on opposite sides of the street car, and he settled himself back for a long stare at her. He began at the feather in her hat, and had got down as far as her throat., when she could stand it no longer. She didn’t ring the bell and leave the car in a huff, neither did she change her seat to avoid his impudent gaze. She had already paid her fare, but she felt for her purse, took from it a silver dollar, and extending it to the fellow, she sweetly asked: “Will you please pay my fare?” “Aw —oh —certainly, with pleasure,” he replied, as he shoved the dollar to the driver. Driver shook his head. “Change.” shouted the man. “No good—that’s a counterfeit.” The man turned red and green and blue and crushed strawberry. He inspected the dollar and saw the driver was right. After a painful moment he slipped it into his vest pocket, fished out a dollar bill, and when the change had been given him he handed tho lady 95 cents and retrea ;ed to the back platform to swear. “I will send it to some charity,” whispered the lady to her left handed neighbor. “The object was to get rid of his impudent presence. It isau experiment that never fails.” “CHOKERS.” • _ Ninety Different Styles of Collars—The Endless Variety of Neck Tormentors. Cincinnati Enquirer. “You wouldn't hardly believe that there’s ninety different styles of collars.” The speaker was the traveling salesman for a New York collar and cuff manufac tory, talking to an Enquirer reporter. “No, it seems hardly probable.” “Yet it is a fact. There are ninety different styles manufactured by our house. You think it hard to get the variety. Well,, not very. A different curve, a different stitch, a different mold or something of that kind. Then in style they Bwing back a season, or five seasons, occasionally. By the time you make up your mind to wear the extreme it will switcl back to what you have just discarded.” “What's all the rage in the way of a collar now?” “A standing collar, with the points turned back flat, just the tip, you know. It’s an ugly collar, though, and people don’t seem to like them. “What is the handsomest collar?” “For a young man the plain standing collar, with ends meeting, is the most becoming. They won’t do on a fat man, though; as they make him appear in perfect misery. For thick necked fat men a turn-down collar of most any style is all right.” “Suppose you work off all the back stock on cross-roads towns at roduced rates?” “That’s where you are wrong; the cross-road towns won’t have it. A dry goods man who wears a colored shirt and no collar himself in a little one horse town asks for the very latest style, and you can’t fool him. When he buys, he buys the latest going.” High Art Criticism. London Truth. There is a picture of Venus being courted by Adonis at Burlington House. “What do you think of it!" said a friend to mo. “I see nothing beautiful,” I replied, “in a blousy, naked Flemish wench, with pinkish skin, and thighs the size of an elephant’s legs, nor in a youth whose head is all askew." My friend’s glance conveyed me that he regarded me as a poor fool, want’*este, refinement, and appreciation of is this so? What is there in this Pan th.'t a,.7 “V “ ho '', ld „ W i* pleasure can any one 1 wench and her adorer? Tiu * *f h a Lf* lion by Landseer. There is a I VOT *™ says that a live jackass is worth mo. Whv dead lion. But a live lion costs about £so. then, should a representation of the dying . mal, produced by putting differontcolored paint*

upon a piece of canvas, bo worth more? Tt may be an excellent representation, but it cannot be more than a representation. There are “Sir Joshuas,” and Lawrences and Romneys and ttarnyU* w” 3 ‘ ome are good, others are b:wl. There are landscapes Foussin a d others. What is their excellence! lam smC that I not know, ts people would only b<3 ninety-nine out of a hundred would admit that they do not know. TECUMSEH SHKIUIAN. The Wicked Deception Practiced oa Him f)>’ the Wife of Col. Hoyt. Washington Letter. General Sherman spent last week here and entered into the social gayeties with his-old-time zest and activity. Os course he received a great deal of attention, and particularly from the young people, with whom he is a favorite. The young ladies are devoted to him, and it seems to be his privilege to return the devotion. “Where is General Sherman?’’ asked a lady at the British Legation ball, missing the warrior from the groups of settled folk in the drawingrooms. “Oh, he is in the ball room among the pretty girls," replied General Sheridan. Apropos of the General’s admiratiofa for young ladies, the wife of his cousiD, Colonel Hoyt, “put up” a pretty deception on him not long ago. General Sherman called on Mrs. Hoyt one day, and while in the parlor she said: “Oh, General, I have a beautiful girl in the next room. I must present her, for she will be delighted to see you; you must kiss her, too, for she is very nice.” The hero of many battles expressed his readiness to meet the young woman, and also his entire willingness to obey what he said seemed very like a command. Mrs. Hoyt went out, and soon returned with her little one-year-old girl in the arms of her nurse, and with grave formality presented “Miss Baby Hoyt” to Geneial Sherman. The soldier who was never surprised by the enemy was surprised by the baby. But he enjoyed the fun as much as Mrs. Hoyt. There is no doubt but that General Sherman is fond of Washington. It would be strange if h@ were not. He says, brusquely, “a week is enough of it,” but nobody believes him. No other city can have the same hold on his patriotism and affection as that which received him after his “March to the Sea;” and no other streets can have the same associations as those through which his comrades walked footsore and with tattered flags, but victorious hearts. It is true that his family prefers St. Louis, as he often remarks, but it is true that he prefers Washington, though he declares “a week is enough of it.” “Ono week's as good as a million, you know,” he says, “for they are all alike. Why. it’s just like a coffee-mill, the oldfashioned mill you sit down to. The first turn of the crank is very novel. But you keep on round and round, and it gets to bo the same thing, and mighty hard work, too, I tell you. By the time you have ground a peck of corn in a coffee-mill, as I have, there isu’t any fun in it.” He was the center of a little group at his brother’s house the other day, where, during Mrs. Sherman’s afternoon reception, he had, as he said, “talked all the time.” The crowds had gone, and for some minutes hediad been watching his chance to escape to the smoking-room to enjoy tho cigar which he hid behind him. But when one “squad” went out another entered, and there was no getting away. General Sherman’s memory of faces is unfailing, but he is not always so sure of names.

“WHAT YOU MIGHT CALL NERVE.” Unless Truth is Indeed Stranger Than Fiction to at Least One New Yorker. New York Sun. “I saw an exhibition of what you might call nerve the other day up in Delaware county/’ said Deacon Charles N. Beau, of the public stores. “I was up there on business last week, near Harpersfield, and an acquaintance took me out to fish for pickerel through the ice. On our way to the poud we came to a couple of men chopping iD the woods. My friend knew one of the men, and stopped to talk with 'birth The other man kept on chopping. He had made but two or three strokes with his axe, when it flew off the handle. The sharp blade whizzed through the air. passed close to my friend’s head, and, striking the other chopper, whose name was Hagar, cut his nose off close to his face as clean as if it had been done with a razor. The man who lost it put his hand up to his face in a startled sort of way, and looked down at the severed nose as if he could hardly believe his eyes. When the full force of the situation struck him. he looked at his fellow-chopper witli an expression of surprise and deep injury on his face, and said: “ ‘Well, Jack, you're ad n nice fellow, ain’t ye?’ ” “Hagar then stooped and picked up his nose, and, pressing his handkerchief to his bleeding face, astonished both my friend and mvself by resuming the subject upon which they had been talking —which was the making of a contract for some chopping— as if nothing of consequence had occurred to interrupt it. My friend, however, started the other chap to the village after a doctor, and wauted to take Hagar home at once on his buckboard. Ilagar wouldn’t hear to this, and said he would cut across to his cabin through the woods and wait for the doctor, and he started off, without any apparent hurry, carrying his nose in his hand. “When we returned at night we went out of our way two miles to inquire after Hagar. We found him chopping up fire-wood in front of the cabin. There was a bandage around his face. When we asked him if the doctor had seen him he said: “ ‘Yes, he’s been here. He stuck the nose on in its old place and bound it there, and said he believed it would grow fast again, as he had known of such things hanpeniug. Say. I came blame near getting mad at Jack when that axe flew off to-day. He's always cutting up some dido or other.’ “Then we drove back to Harpersfield. I had a letter to-day from my friend. He had just come from a visit to Hagar. He says the man is getting along, and that the nose will grow fast again, sure. Now, these are facts, and I tell you that Hagar struck me as giving an exhibition of what you might call nerve.” —■ ■ ■ ■ ■ ' - ■ ■' ■ " Scourged Into Paradise. Burdette, In Brooklyn Easrle. True, my son, I do not like to drive a man into heaven by terror of hell fire. It is not a manly or dignified way to come into heaven on a run aud a jump, with a face distorted by fright, like a man banging into his house just ahead of a thunder-storm. But still, isn’t it better to scare him into heaven on the run, like a scared dog, rather than leave him out altogether? If a man can’t be got to turn his face heavenward any other way, I say shake him over the pit till he smells brimstone. lam not so good a man, my boy, that lam liable to be translated. My goodness is not so excessively great that it hurts me to carry it round. But I want to be better every day. I want to go to heaven someday. I hope I wilL And if some good, big sou led, stronglunged, loud-singing old Baptist revivalist, like Elder Swan—God bless him—or Knapp or Raymond, should get after me and chase me into heaven with a firebrand, after I got in I would turn around and thank him and bless him for a thousand years. Ah! my son, after we get to heaven thousands and millions of us will show each other our backs to show how wo were scourged into Paradise. A Snore Cure. Pittsburg Chronicle-Telegraph. . A Boston inventor has perfected a snore cure. It is a piece of wire, bent in the shape of a doubled hair-pin.' On one end is a small wheel, something like a child’s pin-wheel, made of silk. The wire is fastened over the upper teeth when retiring, bringing the pin wheel in close proximity to the nose and mouth. When the sleeper snores it starts the wheel to revolving, and the points of tho wheel’s rays, which have fine, sharp, steel needle ends, whirling around rapidly, tickle the snorer’s nose and cause him to desist The inventor has large orders from the numerous sleeping-car companies, and has been made a Past Grand Mojuk in The East in the Society for the Suppression of Profanity. Frightful Waste. Consumption carries off its thousands of victims every year. Yes, thousands of human lives are being wasted that might be saved, for the fact is now established that consumption, in its early stages, is curable. Dr. Pierce’s “Golden Medical Discovery” will, if used in time, effect a permanent cure. It has no equal as a remedy for bronchitis, coughs and colds. Its efficacy has been proved in thousands of cases. All druggists.

RAILWAY TIME-TABLE. [TRAINS RUN BY CXNTRAti STANDARD TIXS.) Train* marked thus. reclining chair car; thi*. s.,steeper; thus.p.. parlor car: thus, h.. hotel ear. Bee-Line, C., C., C. A Indianapolis. Depart—New York and Boston Express, daily, 9.. , 4:00 M tDavU&i Springfield and New York Express, e. e 10:10 am Anderson and Michigan Express.. 11:15 rsm Wabash and Mancie Express 5:55 pm New York and Boston, daily s., c. c. 7:10 pm BKIGHTWOOD DIVISION. Dally 4:00 am...... 2:20 pea Daily 6:15 am 3:30 pm Dai1y...... ....... 10:10 am...... 5:25 pm Daily 11:15 am 7.15 pm Arriva Louis Express, daily, s 6:40 Ft. Wayne and Muncie 'S3 10:45 act. Renter u T vbor and Anderson Ex* Boston, indWP° lis auil Southern Express 6;o ° P* New York and St. 101118 Express, daily, s 11:15 nm A . . —; 1 ■ ' *=3 Chicago, St. Louis A Pittsb^ r ®* Depart—New York, Philadelphia, Warn’ ington, Baltimore and Pittsburg Express, daily, s 4:sw”’ Dayton and Columbus Express, except Sunday 10:15 am Richmond Accommodation 4:00 pat New York, Philadelphia, Washington. Baltimore and Pittsburg Express, daily, s., h 4:55 pm Dayton Express, except Sind*y.. k 4:55 pm Arrive—Richmond Accommodation, except Sunday 9:40 tax New. York, Philadelphia, Washington, Baltimore and Pittsburg Express. daily 1L37 Mb Columbus and Dayton Express, except .Sunday J 4:35 pV New York. Philadelphia, Washington, Baltimore aud Pittsburg Express, daily 10:20 pm Da yum Express, daily, except Sunday 10:20 pm CHICAGO DIVISION VIA KOKOMO, P., 0. A ST. L. B. B, Depart—Louisville and Chicago Express, _ P- c 11:15 a* Louisville and Chicago Fast Express. daily, s 11:00 pm Arrive—Chicago ana Louisville Fast Express, daily, s 4:00 am Chicago and Louisville Express, r>. c 3:35 pm ■ - " " ' - ' " - -- L ' '" .. . ' Cincinnati, Indianapolis, St. Louis & Chicago. CINCINNATI DIVISION. Depart—Cincinnati and Florida Fast Line, daily, s. and c. c 4:00 am Cincinnati. Rushville and Columbus Accommodation 11:05 am Cincinnati and Louisville Mail, p. e. 8:45 pm Cincinnati Accommodation, daily.. 6:55 pm Arrive—lndianapolis Accommodation, daily 11:05 am Chicago and St. Lonis Mail, p. 0... 11:50 am Indianapolis Accommodation 6:20 pm Chicago, and St. Louis Fast Line, daily, s. and c. c 10:45 pm CHICAGO DIVISION. Depart—Chicago and Rock Island Express.. 7:10 am Indianapolis and South Bend Ex.. 710 am Chicago Fast Mail. p. o 12:10 pm Western Express 4:55 pm Indianapolis and South Bend Ex.. 4k>s pm Chicago, Peoria and Burlington Fast Line, daily, s., r. c 11: 20 pm Arrive—Cincinnati and Louisville Fast Liuo, daily, c. c. ands 3:35 am Lafayette Accommodation 10.55 am South Bend and lndiunapolis Ex.. 10:55am Cincinnati and Louisville Mail, p. c. 3:30 pm Cincinnati Accommodation 6:42 pm South Boud and Indianapolis Ex... 6:42 pm

Vandalia Lins. Depart—.lndianapolis and South Bend Ex.. 7:10 am Mail Train 7:15 am Day Express, daily, p.. h ..11:55 am Terre Haute Accommodation 4:00 pm Indianapolis and South Bend Ex.. 4:55 pm Pacific Express, daily, s 10:45 pm Arrive—New York Express, daily 51:50 am Indianapolis Mail and Aocom 10:00 am South Bend aud Indiatiapolis Ex.. 10.55 am Cincinnati and Louisville Fast Line 3:30 pm New York Express, daily, h 4:40 pm South Bend and Indianapolis Ex... 6:42 pm Wabash, St. Louis & Pacifio. Depart—Detroit and Chicago Mail 7:15 am Toledo, Fort Wavae, Grand Rapids and Michigan Express 2:15 pm Detroit Expross, daily, s 7:15 pm Detroit through coach on C., St. L. & P. Express 11:00 pm Arrive—Detroit Expross, daily, s 8:00 am Pacific Express 11:510 am Detroit and Chicago Mail 8:55 pot Detroit through coach on C., St. L. & P. Express 4:00 W Cincinnati, Hamilton & Indianapolis. Depart—Cincinnati, Dayton & Toledo 4:00 am . Cincinnati, Dayton, Toledo and New York 10:45 am Connorsville Accommodation 4:25 pm Cincinnati, Dayton, Toledo and New York Express 6:35 pm Arrive —Conners ville Accommodation...... 8:30 am Cincinnati, Peoria and St. Louis.. .11:50 am Cincinnati Accommodation 5:00 pm Cincinnati. Peoria and St. Louis. ..10:40 pm Jeffersonville, Madison A Indianapolis. Depart—Southern Express, daily, s 4:10 am Louisville and Madison Express,p.c 8:15 am Louisville and Madison Mail, p. e.. 3:50 pm Louisville Express, daily 6:45 pm Arrive—lndianapolis and Madison Mail 9:45 am XndianapMis, St. Louis and Chicago. Express, daily, p 10:45 am New York and Northern Fast Express, r. o 7:00 pm St. Louis, Chicago and Detroit Fast Line, daily, s 10:45 pm Indiana, Bloomington A Western. . PJCORIA DIVISION. Depart—Pacifio Express ami Mail 7:25 am , Kansas and Texas Fast Line, r. c.. 5:05 pm Burlington and Rock Island Express, daily, r. c. ands 11:10 pm Arrive—Eastern and Southern Express, daily, r. c. ands 3:50 am Cincinnati Special, r. c 11:05 am Atlantic Express and Mail 6:30 pm ST. LOUIS DIVISION. Depart—Moorefield Accommodation 6:30 pm Mail and Day Express 5:02 pm Arrive —Mail and Day Express 11:00 am Moorefield Accommodation 6:10 pm EASTERN DIVISION. Depart—Eastern Express Mail, daily, s., r. e. 4:20 am Day Express 11:45 am Atlantic Express, daily, s. and c. c.. 7:10 pm Arrive —Pacific Express, daily, s. and c.c... 6:55am Western Expiese 4:45pm Burlington aud Rook Island Express, daily, s. and r. c 10:35 pm Indianapolis A St. Louis. Depart—Day Express, daily, o. e 7:lo*m Paris Express 3:50 pm Boston and St. Louis Expross, p... 6:25 pm New York and St. Louis Express, daily, s. and c. c 11:30 pm Arrive—New York and Boston Express, daily, c. o 3:45 am Ijocal Passenger, p 9:50 am Indianapolis Express 3:00 pm Day Express, c. 0., daily 6.25 pm Indianapolis A Vincennes. Depart—Mail end Cairo Express.. 8:15 am Vincennes Accommodation 4:00 pm Arrive—V'mcennes Accommodation 10:40 am Mail and Cairo Expross 6:30 pm T-* - ' - - Louisville, New Albany A Chicago. (Michigan and Grand Rapids Line.) Depart—Michigan City Mail 12:15 pm Frankfort Accommodation 5:00 pm Michigan City Night Ex., daily, 8...11:20 pm Arrive —Indianapolis Night Ex., daily, 5.... 3:35 am Indianapolis Accommodation 10.00 am Indianapolis Mail 3:15 pm Cincinnati, Wabash A Michigan Railway. (Over the Bee-line.) Depart—lndianapolis and Grand Rapids Ex. 4:00 am Michigan Express 11:15 am Louisville aud Wabash Express... 5:55 pm Arrive—Wabash and Indianapo.'s Express.. 10:45 am Cincinnati and Louisville Express. 2:20 pm Indianapolis and St. Louis Express. 11:15 pm Evansville & Terre H&nte Railroad. (Via Vandalia Line.) Leave Indianapolis.t7:ls am, 11:55 am p, 10,45 pm • Leave Terre Haute.tlo:4o am, 3:00 pm p, 4:00 am a Ar. at Evansville. ..14:00 pm, 7:05 pm p, 7:25 am • Leave Evansville.. .16:05 am 10:30 am p, 8:15 pm a Ar. at Terre Haute.llo:oo am, 2:17 pmp, 11:59 pm* Ar. at Indianapolis 43:30 pm, 4:40 pm p, 3:50 am* tDaily except Sunday. All other trains daily. P pai lor car; s, sleeper. (Via L A St L. Ry.) Leave Indianapolis 17:10 am, 10:55 pm • Ar. at Terre Haute tl0:40 am, 3:00 pm p, 4:00 am • Ar. at Evansville. 44:00 pm, 7:05 pm p, 7:25 am* Leave Evansville. 46 05 am, 10:30 am p, 8: 15 pm a Ar. at Terre Hauto410;00 am, 2:17 pm p, 11:59 pm • Ar. at Indianapolis.t3:ls pm, 6:25 pm p, 3:45 pin* tDaily except Sunday, All other train* daily. P parlor oar; a, sleeper.

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