Indiana American, Volume 9, Number 22, Brookville, Franklin County, 3 June 1870 — Page 1

PUBLISHED EVERY FRIDAY BY C. H. BINOUiM, Proprietor. Office in the National Bank Building, (Third Story)

TERMS Or SUBSCRIPTION: $2.50 PEK YEAR, in advance. $3.00 " F NOT PAID IK ADVANCE. No postage on papers delivered within this County. Stay in the Country. The subjoined article from Moore's Bural isew Yorker applies to all Urge cities. We bave been requested to publish it, and do so with pleasure: "The frequent letters we receive from young men in the country about coming to the city, and asking relative to the chances of employment, advancement, etc., constrain us to say, with emphasis, Stay in the Oottntry! And this admonitory advice is founded upon some actual knowledge of both country and city life and avocations the health and competence which the one assures, and the uncertain ties, disappointments and failures attending the other. "Our large cities are over-crowded, and the present is a most unfavorable period to change from country to town life and occupations, vn if such is ever advisable. In New York City alone tens of thousands of intelligent and skillful people are out of employment or only living from hand to mouth; and the times are such that the prospects of those who depend upon occupation in stores, offices and manufactories are becoming more and iu ore discouraging. Many who hare growing families dependent upon their labor for support are wisely removing to the country and not a lew capitalists and business are manifesting shrewdness and foresight by securing small farms of land ed estates for their sons, with a view of placing them beyond the temptations and chances of town life and speculation. And we believe there are to-day at least a quarter million of people in this city who would materially better tlteir condition by jroiug into the country on farms, or to new and growing towns in the West, South, etc., where land is cheap and fertile, and labor in demand and well rewsrded. Young men, and especially farmers' sons who are looking city-ward should carefully consider the chances of success which, at the best are poor indeed, as statistics amply demonstrate and ponder well the lite-long cons-equences of a change from country to city lite and occupations. Those looking for employment in newsrarer offices (either as clerks or brain wuiUeis.) as are many who write us, are rartioularly cautioned to look before tliev leap into the tempting but uncertain and laborious whirlpool of Journalism. For in this, as in most city professions and traiks, there is little or no room except tor such geniuses as are rare indeed. For one brilliant success, like that of Greeley or Raymond, there are a thousand signal Uiluies i'aiiures which not unfrequently render the asiprants and their families both des:itute and miserable. Au advertisement for a competent newf-paper man or editorial writer, would at once be answered by scores of city residents, qualified by long practice to occupy the position; hence how poor the chance for an inexperienced countryman, unless he possesses superior capacity, or is backed by influential friends and the latter can id him in starting, for persistent labor and decided brain power are requisite to achieve even average success iu a Cold so tiled with active competitors. "Let us cite a case in point. On removing the principal office of the Rural to Xew York we advertised in a morning pper for an experienced book-keeper one thoroughly conversant with the newspaper business, etc. Before five o'clock ct the same day tee received 74 written ufl-lUations Jhr the position! And many ot these were from men whi, had been in luHness and failed! men formerly wellto do, if not lioh, but now poor, with educated and refined families to support, and that too, in a city where to live "de cently requires hard, well remunerated ' ork or a surplus of means. "And what is true in reeard to Jourealisrn is to a great extent true concerning other professions and branches of busines for nearlv all the so-called respectable city avenues to competence, fortune, or fame, ate filled with industrious, ambitious and persistent aspirants and comjetitors. Hence the chances to become Stewarts and Yaoderbilts, or Harpers and Appletons, are indeed few and far between, fetter far try Agriculture, which is truly tue most honorable and useful, as it is the ost natural and healthy pursuit of man. stay in. the country, and avoid the oiterj.hke change to city life and habits, from out-door to sedentarv emrlovttent. Kemeuiber that though few alas. "w very few business ind professional acmiirinT ami rMiininir e'lh n& position, and manv fail of se turiog even a competency while thous- ?" ho besran life with hicri hAnf4 and "uliant prospects, annually die in pover5 "d obscurity. Bear in mind, also, ' tbe farm is the natural nursery of I. 'I 'h . . - i"1". virtue and contentment, and that "guarantees competence if not wealth i!e tL- city (with its avocations, assot::ion, au."l temptations) injures and ofdestroys th? health, corrupts the mar4f. cd doi unire-juently leads to bankaky in csh rouscience, and resnectaLU"y- Avoid the turmo'l of the poisonss.tdWa by staying in tue tranquil, pure, nit-jiving auu "e, Qtry. V veriltr holiav .h, S I ri ruie ev young man who leavv3 ;Jt - "c luuuier, uesK, puysio, or lon-ates a certainty for an uncertaint. . 10 lue extent of that uocerthe iJle, starving tbousanda of urge cities answer, fur the above and other cogent reae earnostln c... : - , .iD irjl' A Mother's Love, W,ru!le.r's lore! "allowed words? View tf, V"e Den tenderly over her helpless US her eve himi ;,, i r, . M Mie srazes tomrU . .iii.i "ure i j v..i v. rfsj 0rM or soothes its restlessness by caicrllnJra,,'e; aisregardiog her own com'diffi c.on,?eneoce, she counts no task W.cul1 th will add to the comfort of "ns offspring. How pure and dis-

"THE UNION. THE CONSTITUTION, AND THE ENFORCEMENT OF THE LAffS.w VOL. 9, NO. 22J BROOK VILLE, 1ND., FRIDAY, JUNE 3, 18701 WHOLE NO.430.

interested is a mother's love; she watches by night and by day, in health and in sickness; though she be worn with care, how bonstant are her vigils! though 'tired nature's sweet restorer" weighs the drooping eyelids, she heeds it not, but stands by until her child is recovered, or taken from her fond embraced to the bosom of; antrcls. Yoil find her n n Idea attention! through childhood and youth. Indeed: her own happiness seems absorbed in that ot her offspring, Shame to the reckless self-sufficient son or daughter who treats lightly or contemptuously a mother's counsel or kindness. Jennt. Indiana State Board of Agriculture. As Secretary of the Indiana State Board ; ot Agriculture, 1 am now at my office, and, with proper assistants, have commenced the .distribution of the State Board and Geological Reports." These Reports, by an order passed by the Delegate Board, at their January meeting, are required to be distributed to each county in proportion to its population. By that order they are to be sent to the President of the Ag ricultural societies in all counties where. they exist; and where there is no Agricultural Society, they are to be sent to the Auditor of the county one to be given 'o each township and public library in the county, and the others to be distributed in a manner that will most likely do the greatest good to the agricultural and mechanical interests of the State. These Reports possess much new and valuable infoamation in regard to agriculture, and are all important and invaluable for the information they possess in regard to the mineral wsahh of our State. Every farmer and business man in the State should have one. Professor Cox. our able, energetic and efficient Geologist, with the cooperation of the State Board, has done much to develop the mineral resources of a portion of our State, and his report of our mineral soils and other products will be read with deep interest by every citizen of the West. There may be a few reports for distribution to individuals, which will bo promptly done upon application to me and a remittance of thirty five cents to pay postage Papers throughout the State will accommodate the public by copying this notice, and oblige. Jcs. Poole, Secretary Indiana S. B. A. Mr. Greeley and his Visitors. The New York correspondent of the Philadelphia Telegraph tells this story il lustrating Mr. Greeley's imperturbable manner with bores: Mr. Greely, like other distinguished men, is bored with visitors of whom it is not always easy to act rid. Among them, one day, was a man an ''old subscriber" like an old friend, who takes the liberty of saying disagreeable things who had some grudge against Horace on account of something that had been said in the Tribune. So without either standing quite within or entirely without the sa&cluin, but remaining perched upon the threshold, he commenced a tirade of some twenty minutes' length, to which Mr. Greeley, writing spider s-webs on the foolsli,r V'tltj!; 1111(1. IVULIidlCU UU ILL!,. . i. v t i .i - "lou ve been carrying on tins game a j loog time," said the subscriber at length j in desperation, "but I've found you out." j "I'd rather you'd found me out than i found iiie at home." answered the calli graphic sage. 'I've been talking to you all this while just ta tell you what 1 think of you," pursued the visitor. "You've been a devilish long time doing it,'" replied Greeley. And I've just come to say that you're no gentleman," added the subscriber, sure now that he had hit the mark. "Who the said I was?" remarked Greeley, going on with his writing. The subscriber bolted and was never seen in that otlice again, and Greeley finished the article as quietly as though nothing had happened. "Break It Gently." "Ys, I remember that anecdote," the Sunday school superintendent said, with the old sad pathos i n his voice and the old sad look in his eyes. "It was about a simple creature named Higgans, that used to haul rock for old Maltby. When the lamented Judge Bagley tripped and fell down the court house stairs and broke his neck, it was a great question how to break the news to poor Mrs Bagley. But final ly the body was put iuto Higgin's wagon and he was in.-tructed to take its to Mrs. B., but to be very guarded and discreet in his language, and not break the news to her at once, but do it gradually and gently. When Higgans got there with his sad freight, be shouted till Nrs. Bagley came to the door. Then he said: "Does the widder Bagley live here?" "The icidow Bagley? A'o, sir. "I'll bet she does. But have it your own way. Well, does Judge Bagley live here?" "Yes, Judge Bagley lives here." "I'll bet he don't. But never mind it aiu't for me to contradict. Is the J udjre "No, not at present." "I jest expected as much. Because, you kno" take hold o' suthin. mum, tor I'm a-going to make a littic communication, and I reckon maybe it'll jar you some. There's been an accideuf, mun. I've got the old Judge curled up here n the wagon and when you see him you'll acknowledge, yourself, that an inquegt is about the only thing that could be a com. fort to Mark Twain, Truth will cyer be unpalatable to ihope who are determine4 pet to relinquish error, but can never give offense to the hon est and well-meaning; for the plaiq dealing retnoustraies of a friend differ as widely from the rancor of an eaemy as the friendly probe of a physician irom the jjagger of an assassin,

A HUSBAND OUTWITTED; Or, Two Can Play at That Game. A week at the watering place, and most of the time each day spent in the company of Mr. Manwell, the gentleman Miss Ellsworth's old friend, Ned Whittaker, had introduced to her one morning on the pi azza, one bad sailed witn Dim, strolled ! with him nr riddon with him alomr tha ! shores on the moonlight evenings, and she had danced with him in the thronged drawing rooms. Miss Ellsworth was not a flirt, who distributed her likings among many gentlemen, and she had found her ideal well nigh realized in Mr. Manwell. Only the evening before, their talk had withdrawn i itself from general topics, which to each other had been congenial, and in her admiration of hie intelligence and manliness, she had encouraged an approach to that sort of personal conversation which relates to love and matrimony. And now to find Mr Manwell this morning with his coat off and smith's apron on, engaged in mending a lock! He was doing it publicly. The lock was on the door i "'at led to the middle ot the piazza, where the fashionably dressed ladies and gentle men were sitting or promenading. His back was toward her as she approached, leaning on the arm of her friend Annie West. She recognized him, looking intently at him, gave her companion over to a party of young ladiss uear, aud then stepped and spoke to him. "Do you like that sort of work, Mr. Manwell?" "I do, Miss Ellsworth. I believe I am a natural mechanic." It appears odd to see you doing this." "It is my trade," he replied, rising from his work and turning to her. Her cheek blanched m little. "Your trade?" she said faintly. "My trade, Miss Ellsworth. The proprietor said the lock needed mending, and 1 told htm I could mend it for him." The party of girls came along just then. After wondering at Mr. Mauwell awhile and laughing at him, they proposed a ride. There were three carriages among them all, these would take the party. Ned Whittaker here joined them. "What the deuce are you about here," he exclaimed to Mr. Manwell. "Ah," be added, ''while you are here you might as well enjoy yourself." Mr. Manwell excused himself from join ing the party, and they all weut away, leaving him to complete his work. Miss Ellsworth left him without a word at partiug. 'It is well," he muttered to himself. "If she cannot take me as I am she is not worthy ot me. The woman that marries me must take me for myself. He stood aud looked after her until she had disappeared. She did not once turu to look back. He gave his shoulders a shrug, com pressed his lips, uttered a cyuical "Humph!" and turned to finish his work. "Let it be so," he muttered, when he was through, aud was putting ou his coat. "I thought that perhaps I had found a woman after my cwu heart. But let it be so. Amidst this world of wealth and fashion, she, tOD, has lost her soul. JLet , , her go. ,, He avoided her thereafter. lie did not seek to catch her eye for a bow of recognition. VYuen she entered the drawinsroom where he was, ne wouia go out oy another way. But he was more than ever in the company of Ned Whittaker. Ned in passing to and fro between Miss Ellsworth and him, served still as a sort of link between them. "You are a cynical fellow," said Ned one day. "Why don't you take people as they are? lou will tiud good enough in them." "But they won't take me as I am; that is the troubu." "Pooh! You see she allows no other suiter to accompany her. Don't you see that she is alone, or with the girls most of the time? Her heart is tuil of vanity. "Pohaw! She is traiued to luxurious notions, that's all." Manwell's trunk was awaiting him and the stage outside ou the piazza at the time this conversation was going on. On the trunk were bis initials, "G. M." Miss Ellsworth, passing that way, saw the initials not by chance, for she has been busy scratiuizing the trunks that lay together in a pile and when she saw the initials she started and turned pale. She recovered herself, and withdrew from her companions a little way, and then stood still aud watched. Soou Manwell came out with Ned, upon the piazza. He chanced to turn his eyes toward her, their eyes met met for the first time since she had left him, while he was at work upon the lock. She did not turn away her eyes. She bowed. He approached her and bade her good-bye. What the conversation was that ensued between the two when they were left alone, by means of Ned's ingenuity in spiriting away the rest of the company, is unknown, save the following: "But I am a locksmith, said Manwell. "No matter." "Are you willing to live the wife of one who with his bauds earns his daily bread." "I am willing to undergo anything to be with you. I have suffered enough. During these last few day 1 have learned what it is to despair of being mated to the one I love." "But your mother your father?" 'Unless I am williug to leave them for your sake, 1 am not worthy of you." 'But the lo?s of wealth, position, of the surroundings of refinement? "Do cot say anything more. I am williug to leave all for your sake. I am weary cf beiqg without you." "Would you be willing to become my wife this day, this hqur? Vour father and mother might put obstacles in your way!" "I am wilfing this hour this minute." "They etill think; jot) are wealthyas Idfd."

"Come, then, we will go oar way with Ned, and become before the world what we are now in spirit husband and wife, and then, at once, we will take the cars for the home 1 have for yom a home which, though lowly, you will make happy. "Whither you go I will go." They were married in a quiet way in

i the little watering place chapel, with the ! wicked Ned conniving at the mischief. The next train sped them into tbe city "I will show you the shop where 1 work," said Manwell, when the carriage which they took at the depot had drawn up before one of a long line of brown atone j houses in a splendid part of the city. "What do you mean?" she demanded, as she accompanied her husband up the broad steps at the door. - - "Mean?" he replied; "that 'this is the home, and this is the workshop." And he led her in, and among other rooms to which he conducted his wife, was one fitted as a workshop, where, as he said, he was accustomed to indulge his love of mechanical work, after having, he assured her, regularly served his time at learning a trade. Mrs. Manwell stood and looked at him intently. This is your house?" she asked. 'Yes, madam." "And you are not poor, but rich." "lou speak the truth, Mrs. Manwell." fAud why did you play this jest on me?" "To see whether you really loved me for my own sake." "Ah, pretty, indeed! And suppose you do not love me?" "But I do." "Humph!" So there was a little family quarrel on the spot. "Now invite your father and mother to come and see us," said Manwell, after the clouds had somewhat cleared away. "I will," she replied "I will. But first you must go and see them and pacify them, in view of what we have done." "Very well." In a few days they started out in the car riage on their errand. Mrs. Alawell gave the directions to the driver, and her husband could not help expressing his wonder at the increasing squalor of the neighborhood through which ihey rode. The carriage drew up before a miserable looking tenant house and stopped. "W here the deuce are you taking me to?" asked Mauwell, looking very sharply at his wife. "Come and see," she replied; as she proceeded to step from the carriage. "Here, wait," he exclaimed after his first hesitancy, "let me get out first and help you out. What do you mean?" "Follow me," was her reply. She led him up stairs up, up, through throngs, and dirt, aud smells, to the fourth story. Here she opened the door without j knocking, and the two entered. The I woman was dressed neatly, and so were the children, but they were all dressed very poorly, in keeping with the place. The man was clad more carelessly and even mure poorly. On his bead he kept his bat, which, certainly, was lull half a dozen years old. ' My husband, Manwell; my father and mother, brothers and sisters," said Mrs. Manwell, introducing all parties. Manwell stood aud stared without speaking. "Ask their pardon, George," 6aid Mrs. Manwell, "for running away with me." "Who are they?" "Have I not told you; didu't I introduce you?" "Who were those at the watering place?'' "Some wealthy people who had seen me at the milliners where I sewed for a livelihood served my trade, George, and fancied my appearance, dressed me up aud look me there with them." "You jest." "Do i? Do I indeed? These people seemed to recognize me as a daughter aud a sister. Jest, indeed! You will tiud that out." "You are too cultivated, too tasteful, too fine featured!" "All this," said his wife, "a milliner may be, or a sewing-girl. Look for yourself among the class. Is it not true? All that we girls need is dress." Manwell lifted his fist and dashed it through the air. He ground his teeth, and turning away, left the room slaming the door violently behind him. His wife took off her bat and cloak, and flung herself down at the table and buried her face in her baudkerchief. The door opened again, and the busband put in his head. "You have deceived me," he said; "but come, you are my wife, I will try and bear it." She sprang to her feet and confronted him. "Y"our wife, am I?" she exclaimed, -'and doomed to live with one that does not iove her, but was in love with her circumstances. No, sir, you may go; I will not live a lile unloved for mjselt you must take me thus, or I will stay. Still I can work." He closed the door and retired down stairs to the street, clenching his bands and teeth as he went. The honible disgrace of it," he muttered. "The derision that will be my lot. Aud then to marry such a girl!" But at the street door he tarried, ne had to struggle with himself all alone. Suddenly be turned and dashed impetuously up staits, flung open tbe door of the room, seized his wile in his arms and clasped her to bis heart. "Wife," he whispered in her ear, ''such you are and ever shall be, before God and before the world." "Now I begin to think that you love me," she said, smiling in his face. "You do love me? You really think you do, George!" He clasped her more tightly to him. "Come then," aaid she, "tnough of such parents as these, poor as they are I should

not teel ashamed yet they are not my parents; bat have only acted a part in which I have instructed ihem. Shake hands with them George; they' ate worthy people." And be did shake hands with them, and what is more, he helped them. A merry party was gathered that evening at the bridegroom's house, a party consisting of Mr. and Mrs. Manwell and their guests, Mr. and Mrs. Ellsworth, and youog lady acquaintances of the watering place, and Ned Whittaker. Ned was never in better spirits, nor, let it be 6tated, were Mr. and Mrs. Ellsworth, who forgave their daughter and her husband without hesitation. "I say, George," said Ned, whispering in Manwell's ear, 'two can play at that game, cau't they?" Manwell took Ned's jeering Tery soberly. 'Yes,' he said, after a few moments of thoughtfulness, 'and tbe experience has taught me a lesson. What fools the pride of wealth makes of us all. I thought she ought to have taken me regardless of my circumstances, for myself alone, and without hesitation, even. And yet when she tested me, I myself, was found wanting. Shall we ever learn to disregard a person's occupation, and to look only at the character and the soul?" Ned shrugged his shoulders dubiously. 'I think I have learned tbe lesson,' Manwell added. Transposition. Every student of nouns, pronouns, and verbs, knows the necessity of transposing language for the sake of ascertaining its grammatical construction. The following thows twenty-six different readings of one of Gray's well known poetical lines, yet the sense is not affected: The weary ploughman plods bia homeward way. The ploughman, weary, ploda his homeward way, His homeward way the weary ploughman plods, His homeward way the ploughman weary plods, The weary ploughman homeward plods bia way, The ploughman, weary, homeward plods hisway, His way, tbe weary ploughman homeward plods, His way , the ploughman, weary, homewatd plods, The ploughman , homeward, plods his weary way, Ills way the ploughman , homeward, weary plods, His homeward weary way the ploughman plods, Weary, the ploughman homeward plods his way, Weary, the ploughman plods his homeward way. Uomeward, his way tbe weary ploughman plods, Homeward, bis way the ploughman, weary, plods, Homeward, his weary way, the ploughman plods, The ploughman , homeward, weary plods bis way. His weary way, the homeward ploughman plods, His weary way, tbe homeward ploughman plods, Homeward tbe ploughman plods his weary way. llotreward tbe weary plougnman plods bis wy, Tbe plough it an , tarj, hm way homcwaid plod, The ploughman plods his homeward weary way, The ploughman plods his weary homeward way, Weary tbo ploughman bis way homeward plods, Weary, his homeward way the ploughman plods. If there isn't much pictry, truth, which is belter, in the there is following liue: lie who checks achilJ with terror, Stops its play and Mills its song, Kot alone commits an error, But a grievous moral wrong. Give it plsy and Dever fear it, Active life is no defect; Never, never break its spirit. Curb it onl) to direct. Would you stop the flowing river, Thinking it would cease to flow! Onward Uiit it How torever; Better teach it where to go. Gen. Thomas' Habits and Tastes. Gen. Thomas was simple, severely so, in bis habits ot life and dress; yet he was an aristocrat in which there could bt no guile. He was an aristocracy of worth, not of pride of money or position. He was a gentleman of the olden school, whose self-respect was too gteat to allow the commission ot a aisnouoraoie or a meretricious act. He never ate, even in the army, except from solid silver Eervice, but always of plain wholesome food. An indulgence in wines and liquors was the exception, and then never when a young man was present. Profanity found no place upon bis lips. In all his service, those the most intimate never knew him to be thrown off his guard, or to give ex pressions to a warm, hasty or indignant word, tie never was compelled to apologize for wounds caused by indiscretion cither in temper or language. He. was a complete master of himself. His headquarters were always a model of neatness, sobriety and discipline. He was so indifferent to all pomp and circumstance of war, on the other hand, that though 'made a Major General on April 25, he had no stars on bis coat until after the battle of Stone River, eight months afterward and they were put on by the strategy of his servant, at the instigation of some members of his staff. He wore his Colonel's coat until the mo ment of his taking command at Mill Springs, though be had been a Brigadier General six months. Large Heads. A general idea hold grouud that large heads mean large intellects, that weight of brain indicates mental strength. Rut this notion is a false one; one fact will disprove it. Man is inferior to some apes in the proportion which his brain bears to his body. When we come to animals the differences are very striking. A continental physiologist has been gauging the skulls of different quadrupeds, aud weighins their contents. there are beasts whose instinct approaches to reason, and we style such intelligent; their high instinct is not however, commensurable with their cerebral developments. To range a few of the cetumooest animals in the order of brain weights, we have tbe following declining scales: Cat, dog. rabbit, sheep, ass, pig, horse, and ox. The two last have the same weight of nerve center in proportion to the capacity of their bodies, but they have only a sixth part of that of the first on the list; that is to say, the cat has six times as much brain in proportiou to her size, as the horse has in proportion to bis size. The pig has more than the horse, the sheep more than the pig. Who would have thought it? Evidently there are brains and brains. The fact almost set us wondering whether the brain has anything to do witb tbe intellect at a'l.

Tight Boots.

BY JOSH BILLINGS. I would jist like tew kno who the man wax who fust invented tite boots. He must bav bin a narrow and kontrackted knss. If he still lives, i hope be haz repented ov his sin, or iz enjoying grate agony ov sum kind. 1 hav bin in a grate menny tight spots in mi life, but generally could manage to make them average; but tbare ia no such thing as making a pair of tite boots average. Yn kan't git an average on the pinch of a tite boot, enny more than yu kan on the bite of a lobster. Enny man who kan wear a pair ov tite boots, and be humble and penitent, and not indulge in profane literature, will make a good husband. He will do more than that, he will do to divide up into several fust klass busbands and be made to answer for a whole naberhood. Oh! for the pen ov departed Wm. Shakspear, to write an anathema against tite boots, that would make anshunt Rome wake up and bowl agin az she did once before on a previous ockashun. Oh for the strength of Herkules, to tare into shu strings all the tite boots ov creashun, and satter them to the 8 winds ov heaven. Oh! for the buty ov Venus, tew make a bigg foot look hausuui without a tite boot on it. Ob! for the payshunce of Job, the Apostle, to nuss a tite boot and bless it, and even pra for one a size smaller aud more piochfull. Oh! for a pair of boots bigg enough for the foot of a mountain. I have been led into the above assortment ov Ob's! from having in my posseshun, at this moment a pair ov number nine boots, with a pair of number eleven feet in them. Mi feet ars az uneezy az a dog's noze the fust time he wears a muzzle. I think mi feet will eventually choke the boots to deth. I liv in hopes they will I supposed i had lived long enulT not to be phooled again iu this way, but i hcv found out that an ounce ov vanity weighs more than a pound of reazon. espeshily when a man mistakes a bigg foot for a suial one. Avoid tite boots, mi friend, as you would the grip of the devil, for meuuy a man haz caught fur life a first-rate habit fur swareing by encouraging his feet to hurt biz boots. I have promised mi two feet at least a dozen times during mi checkered life that they never should be strangled a gin, but i find tbem to day az full ov pain az the stuirmick ake from a sudden attack ov tite boots. Dut this iz solemnly the last pair ov tite boots i will ever wear; i will hereafter wear boots az big az mi feet if i have to go barefoot to do it. I am too old and too respektable to be a phool enny more. Kazy boots iz one of the luxurys ov life, but i ibrgit what the other luxurys iz, but i don't know az i care, provided i kan git rid ov this pair of tite boots. Enny man kan hcv them for seven dollares, just half what they cost, and they don't make his feet ake wus than an angle worm iu hot a&hes, he needn't pay for them. Methuseles iz the only man that i kan kail to mind now who could have afforded to wore tite boots, and enjoyed them; be had agreat deal of waste time tew be misarable ' in, but life, now days, is ioo short and too! full ov aktual bizzness to phool away enuy I ov it in tite boots. j Tite boots are an insult to enny man's, understanding, He who wears tite boot will have to acknowledge the corn. Tite boots hev no bowells or merse; their iosides are wrath, aud promiskious cussing. Reware ov tite boots. An Englishman's Appreciation of Yankee Slarg. A pood story is related by a lake cap tain, who has been running a Buffalo pro-

peller for several years past. Some time Blessed are that are they that are deaf; since he had among his passengers a weal- for they neuer led mouey nor listen to tethy; honeM-hearied, but irascible son of uiuus stories. "Hold Hengland," who had but recently) Rlecscd are they that are afraid of than arrived over from Great Britain, and waa ' der; for they shall hesitate about getting

going to Toledo to visit a married daughter. The day alter bis arrival at that city, while taking a walk about the town with Captainhe observed a lot of Sue horses on sale exhibition, and desiring to present his daughter and son-in-law with ' something m that line, be stepped up and priced oue or two of the annuals The owner immediately stepped lorward aud gave him the figures "How much is this eleek, docile mare. pointing to a 350. ' 'Will she make a good buggy 'orse?' 1 asked the Englishman. "You bet!" came in an from the jockey. emphatic tone "Bet! What do you mean? Hi don't want to bet; hi want to buy tbe 'orae, if hi like hit." To this the dealer in horseflesh made no answer, and after a moment or two of critical examination, our worthy friend remarked; "Hi don't think she will hanswer for a family 'orsc." "I've got stamps as says she's got no superior as a family 'orse in the city," replied the irritated owner. "Stamps? Who is Stamps? Hi dou'i care what Stamps says. Hi know a good 'orse when hi see it as well as Stamps hor bany hother person," sharply responded the Englishman. 'Oh, well, now," 6aid the jockey, as suuiiog a conciliatory tone, take another look at this animal. Why she was just made for you."

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TRANSIENT. Oae souare, (It line,) oaa iarti. vum square, two Insertion. uae square, thro insertions ail subsequeat JntertioBS, persqaara YEARLY. Oaa eolaasa, efa an ; quarterly S7i-t Tfcreqaartra cf s eoluma 1 One-naif of a column JJ Oae-quarter of a column . l e One-eighth f a column Transient advertise-nents ihaold ia alt nm paid for ta advance. Unless a particular time is piiJ when handed in, advertisements will be published aattt deredoat aad ehaijced aoeordiagiy. "Made for me, you puppy the excitable Johnny Bull. !' blnstared 'Ow could that hanimal 'ave been made for me? Why, hi 'aven't been bin this 'ere blarsted coun try three weeks yei?' Our Well Dressed Countrywomen. BY rBOF. SCUELE DB VERE. American women, thronghont tbe length and breadth of tbe land, are infinitely better dressed than their sisters in Kurom. Go to the smallest inland town go to country-seats remote from railway and Btage line go even to the border states, where civilization in its highest type comet stiil in immediate contact with savage life, and everywhere you will find parsons wall diessed and looking unmistakable ladieav Tbe slender figure, no doubt, seta off th umple dress, the small hand instinctively seeks Jugla's gloves, and the pretty foot demands a small, well-fitting boot; bat there is always more or less taste to be seen in the choice of the colors and tbo fit of the dress. The bold mixture of colors so fatal to the attractions of English girls, the pinched look produced by the habitual, rigorous economy of German ladies, and the careless slovenliness so often seen in Italian women, are rarely found in America. The facilities and cheap rates of travelling enable almost every girl in tbe laud to visit the large cities occasionally, and her observant eye and quick wit enable her soon to find out what is the the prevailing style, and to acquire a general idea of what is suitable and what ia becoming. The thorough-bred provincial air, which is such a constant source of amusement to the traveller in the Old World, hardly exists in the States; and the iumate of a log cabin in the territories ofteu locks as well-dressed and as aristo cratic in bearing as many a high and noble Jady abroad. Hence, also, the almost marvelous facility with which the American lady adapts herself to foreign habits and foreign styles of dress. Many a fair daughter of thia favored land was born in a humble cot tage, sent to a public school, and compelled to earn her livelihood by the work of her band or tbe teaching of children. She may have married, when she was quite young and unused to tbe ways of the world, on iudustrious mechanic, a modest schoolmaster, or a youthful barrister. She has risen with Iter husband from step to step, rarely seeing the world, till oi c fine day she awakes to find herself the wife of a Foreign Minister. She crosses tbe ocean, she appears at Court, she mingles with the highest in the land, and as there is not a trace of awkwardness is her manner, so ber dress is in perfect keeping with her new station in life, and she wears her unwonted splendor with the) same simple ease and perfect grace which in Europe are deemed the precious prerogative of the high-born. Nor must the revers de la medaille be forgotten. Tha sudden rise '.8 not more frequent than the sudden fall; the ambassador is recalled by a new President, tbe millionaire sees his wealth take wings in a day of pauic in Wall street, the owner ot thousands of t-laves is left penniless by a President's proclamation, and the wife has to lay aside her spleudor, and to exchange her velvets I and her diamonds for simple calicoes and modest ribbons. Rut, with the same innate dignity and outward "race, she remain the la.lv atili in her homely dress, and gives to the cheapest materials aud plainest forms charm which neither poverty nor seclusion from the great world can ever efface. This rare gift of the American lady was moat signally exhibited during the late civil war, when the Southern states were for five years almost hermetically closed to the outer world, and the ladies of the South were compelled from destitution as well as they could. And yet English travellers and Continental officers, who saw them during that time, bear uniform witness to the unmistakable cachet of good-breeding which they kuew to impress upon toilettes, w hich under all other cucumstances would have appeared most odd and extraordinary. Putnam's Magazine. ii i e i The Blessed Ones. Blessed are they that are blind; for they shall see no ghosts. married, aud keep away from political meetings. Biessed are they that are lean; for there is a chance to grow fat. Blessed are they that are ignorant; for they are happy in thinking that they knew everything Blessed is he that is ugly in form and features: for the trals shan't molest him. Blessed is she that would get married, but cau't; for the consolation of the gospel are her's. Blessed aro the orphan children: for the have no mothers to 6pauk them. in i - . U . . i. : for they shall not be disappointed. Blessed are they that do not advertise; t for they shall rarely be troubled with cue ' turners. Economy is the easy chair ot old age. What is the diifereuce between a ctiat'erinr lover and pedestrian excursion? One is a talking wooer, the other a ' tour. walkj Dr. Abernethy used to lull his pupils, that all uumau diseases sprung iruiu tw,v causes stuffing and Jrttting. What is the difference between a lead!en image of the euemy ui utaukind aud a da piece of grouuaf The uue u a lead, devil, the other a cead level. What is the difference between a falling tr and a tog 0e is iutsed iu heaved jtud the uthvi uiUt ou vatifc.

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