Hope Republican, Volume 2, Number 23, Hope, Bartholomew County, 28 September 1893 — Page 8

WHO S THE WOMAN? An interesting short serial will appear on this page beginning OCT. S. Disputing Over Fruit. Two men got into a controversy over a strange looking fruit which they saw on a stand in the Washington market. One thought it wasa small citron melon, and the other believed it to bo some kind of tomato. They referred the question to the dealer, who said: "It's an alligator pear, and your dispute about it reminds mo of a difference between a conple of my customers over a pumpkin. They couldn’t agree that it was not a squash.”—New York Times. A Good Enough Reason. The handsome hospital nurse who married the old wealthy man the other day was very happy in her reply to a friend who asked why she wedded such a fossil, “I thought I might as well be engaged in nursing one old man as a dozen.” —Exchange. A Clever Reminder. A very brave soldier had both his arms carried off in battle, after which his colonel offerejTiim half a crown. “Colonel,” said the soldier, “you think J have lost a pair of gloves.”—London Tit-Bits. . Good Lawyers. Gome of the most pious, Jhe most consecrated, the most consistent, the most humble Christians we have known personally and intimately have been or are now lawyers. We could name several who have through long lives lived close up to their Heavenly Father in sweet and gracious communion. We say further that many of the purest, noblest men wo have kuofvn—patriots in a high sense, with lofty ideals and a morale comparable to the bast —were lawyers. They were an ornament to their country and •the human race. We know some of this kind who still survive.—Wilmington (N. C.) Messenger. A Child’s Reasoning. Among the many anecdotes relating to the late Ilev. Thomas Hill, D. D., is one told by himself. Dr. Hill and his wife awoke quite early one morning and regarded- with interest n crib which contained a precocious child of less than 4 years. Presently the child turned her face up to the ceiling and soliloquized: •■Oh, how much easier it is for a person to think than to act. Now. with a dog it is right the other way!”—Exchange. A Modern Adonis. Lady—Your partner has fainted, I hear. How did that happen? Officer—It is quite simple. I danced with her three times in succession. The great happiness was too much of a strain for her nerves! I am now taking my departure lest 1 should do any further damage.—Deutscher Reichsboce. Her r.ciwuu. An inexplainablo distinction without a difference is contained in an assertion made by a girl who attended a dancing party the other night, "i don’t dislike him. but 1 would not dance with him eiraply because, if you must know, 1 don’t like him.”—Springfield Graphic. The male quail, or "Bob White.” deserves honorable mention among gallinaceous birds because he is particularly good to his wife. lie always helps her to hatch her eggs, and if anything keeps her away will take the whole duty on himself. What is alleged to be a piece of the bridle worn by the horse that John Wilkes Booth rode after assassinating President Lincoln is in the possession of a resident of Bristol. Pa. Until the reign of Queen Anne’an English army officer was liable to have his tongue bored through with a hot iron for blasphemy. The sultan l as a right royal terror of smallpox, and he is very particular to Lave the household thoroughly vaccinated.

Jlon don’t seem to take to the bookish girl somehow as much as one would ex1 ,eet them to do. Perhaps it’s, because her head is developed at the expense of her heart./ There sire 7,000 Welshmen In the chief £inericaii cities —2. >00 in Pittsburg. l.CUO in Chicago. 1,300, in Cleveland and 1.000 in New York and Philadelphia. The smallest bird is the West India hummingbird. Its body is less than an inch long and weighs only iO grains.

HIS NOTIONS CHANOOD. . Why Didn’t Aj.:reo With If Is Friend on tho Subject of Vacations. A little bunch of well known business men wero gathered by chance in front of the Linde’ 1 hotel. They stood there for some time discussing politics and enjoying the sunshine. Finally, oa they were about to separate, ono of tho group noticed that the overcoat pocket of his vis-a-vis was crammed with railway maps, steamers’ guides and time tables. “I say, Charlie,” ho said, “why are you collecting all that rubbish? Planning a vacation?” “Yes.” ho answered. Same old thing every year. Go somewhere—go somewhere. 1 think sometimes I'd rather take my family out here on the Maramec, live in a tent and fish. But no, it’s fas! ionable to hurry away on long and tedious journeys; stop at stuffy hotels, rash through a maze »f nonsense and then rush home <Iead*tired, woary, half sick and altogether footsore. The very contemplation of it tires me.” “Why don't you stop it then?” said the questioner, j ' Rather a difficult thing to do. I should judge—when your family plans the campaign.” "Do ns I did. It just took mo three years to accomplish it. and now 1 live in peace. On our first summer vacation, which was by rail, I devoted my spare timo to reading aloud tho statistics, and descriptions of horrible accidents on railroads. At the hotel I brushed up oa all the hotel conflagrations since watering places were invented and mentioned them in detail upon all possible occasions. It was a most exasperating and uncomfortable experience for all concerned, I can tell you, but it worked. Next summer, when the vacation busiup, I merely asked if we were going over the same route as before and was met with a most unanimous and emphatic chorus of noes. They wore afraid of railroads and hotels, and so they compromised bn a long trip by steamboat up and down the river, because it would bo entirely safe. “I prepared myself again, and when the boat moved out I had in my stateroom a conplo of books which portrayed in the most heartrending manner the final blowing up of almost every steamboat that ever ran the river. Those I dragged Out and read with much unction and deep pathos. In the holy calm of tho summer evenings, in the glorious hush of the sunlit mornings, I read ’em aloud until we were all afraid wo would never get home alive. Well, sir, it was awful! The horrors of those days and nights are with us yet. Next summer I suggested the beauties of a river trip, but nobody seconded tho motion, and I soon learned that we woro to spend a few months at a small inland resort not many miles distant from St. Louis. “Tins was an unexpected flank movement, but I loaded np with statistics, and on cloudy evenings I would lio I a tho hammock of the resort and tell my family how cyclones are formed and show them how they rush np the valley and sweep resorts from tho face of the earth. I was compelled to manufacture a few facts in order to prove that cyclones had a special fondness for summer boarders, but the schcmo worked like a charm. We came home a month in advance and have never gone anywhere since. Say, old man, you don’t know how I enjoy life now with a week or two in the woods with my fishing and hunting club. It’s a great scheme.” And tho ugly man laughed a harsh, discordant, exasperating laughNobody said anything for some time. The group was thinking. “Yes, sir-eo. It's a great scheme,” resumed the ugly man. “Don't you think so, John?” “No, I don’t,” said John, “and I’ll tell 3-on why. I used to have yonv notions, cf a good time, and in consequence the summer outings of myself and family were auditing but pleasant. But the little woman is lying out yonder in Bellefontaino now, and when these beautiful days come along I feci as though 1 would give the universe for one more chance to do something for the comfort and pleasure of one who deserved so much and got/so little. That’s why.” And John and Charlie and the ugl} r man turned away without another word. —St. Louis Republic. Ho XVaa Not an Exception. A Detroiter of a very mild and placid temper had some business attended to, or pretended to bo attended to. by a Cleveland firm, and do what ho could by letter ho could not get n settlement. Finnl!y he wont there in person and settled the matter. “It’s the worst I ever saw,” he said in I arting. “We’ve attended to a good many pearle’s business,” argued tho head of iho firm. “But not as you have mine.” “Yes. quite the same.” "Oh, come oil.” exclaimed the disgusted Detroiter. “You can’t stuff that : down my throat. If yon had treated very many people as yon have treated me. yon would have been killed long before ever I heard of you.” and with that burst of anger he walked cut perfectly satisfied.—Detroit Free Press. Kutual Kerri ml nation. Cora —I hear yon keep bad company, i Jack (fiercely)—Tell me who said it,' and I’ll shoot ’em! I’d rather bo slandered myself than to have ono talk about ( y our being bad, darling! - -Exchange,

FOLLOW THE TO CHANDLER Special Bargain Store And got your share of the BARGAINS! I. W. Numan left for Columbus Monday. Wait for the auction sale in Hope. Date announced next week. For fresh sausage see Bowman Bros, the last two days of each week. E. A. Norman sold J. E. Shields a fine quartorod-oak bedstead for $.'15 Tuesday. Mrs. Lucinda Barker returned Tuesday evening from a visit near Dayton, O. Chas. Campbell and sister, Maggie, of Marietta, were visiting on Haw creek Sunday. Mrs. J. H. George is visiting her daughters, Mrs. J. F. Matson and Mrs. W. F. Norton at Columbus. Thos. Vinnedge will represent the Red Men of this place in their Great Council at Indianapolis next month. The Salvation Army arrived in town Tuesday evening and held meetings on the street and in the Moravian church. .If . you want millinery goods at wholesale prices and especially pattern hats, call at E. Kennedy’s, south side square. John Sidener bought from E. A. Norman, our reliable furniture dealer, last Tuesday the finest and most handsome all-walnut bed room suite ever brought to Hope. The price was $100 which was lower than at any neighboring town. The building in which the Columbus postoffice .is located was damaged by fire last Friday night. Considerable mail matter and stamped envelopes and postals were damaged by water but none were destroyed. The fire was in the second story of the building which was used for sleeping rooms. The prospects are now very flattering for the first auction sale to be held in two or three weeks, as the managers now have in the neighborhood of twenty head of horses to offer on that day. among them trotting bred horses by such sires as Jim Wilson, Jubilee Lambert, Judge Somers, Red Bucks,Pilot and Daniel Boone. The folio wing are the appoin tments by the M. E. Conference for this district: Jeffersonville District—E. A. Campbell, presiding elder. Brownstown, W. N. Fletcher; Charlestown, R. H. Moore; Clifford, J. L. Perry; Columbus, A. N. Marlatt; Crothersville, W, B. Grimes; Edinburg, J. T. O'Neal; Elizabethtown, John M. Germin; Hope, J. D.Current; Hartsville, D. Ryan; Henryville, A. R. Jones (supply);, Holeman, Frank Wolf. Jeffersonville —Port Fulton, W. W. Reynolds; City Mission, E. B. Youmans; Wall-street, C. W.Tinsley; Kent, E. P. Jewett; Now Washington, E. E. Miller; North Vernon, Georg; Smith; Paris, eC. H. Muse; Scottsburg, T. J. Jones; Sellersburg, E L. Sanders; Sardinia, A. M. Loud n; Seymour, J. H. Doddridge; Taylorsville, Isaac Turner; Utica, H. Harris; Vernon, J. S. Campbell; Seymour curcit, G. S. Connor; Lexington to be supplied.

The largest and most fashionable stock of Men’s Boys? and Children’s GLxO'rHING! At remarkably low prices, to be had at EAGLE CLOTHING STORE, M. CAHN, „ Proprietor. 328 WASHINGTON STREET, COLUMBUS, INP. TRIAL OFFER! To give you a taste of the brightest and best newspaper in Hope, we will send you the Hope Republican from this date until Jan. 1, 1894, for TWENTY-FIVE CENTS. SPECIAL FEATURES! Wasiiinoion letter, letter to be furnished us each week, direct from Washington, discussing every item of interest that occurs at the Nation’s capital. This is especially interesting during the present extra session of Congress and during the regular session next winter. Mil niilC Our s P ec * a l P r Me is to give the news, first, I last and a11 th e time. The Republican is the brightest and best local newspaper published here and we mean to keep it so. If you don’t believe it, try it for three months. Who has not rejoiced in reading Ijjldj ||)c) UMUlIc)! this mate hi ess apthor? A serial written by him is begun this week, entitled ‘‘The Perils of Certain English Prisoners.” If you would get all of this story, accept our trial offer and SUBSOHIBE asrerw. Address, HOPK REPUBLICAN, HOPE, INDIANA. U NDERTAKiNQ. I will give prompt attention and the most tender care to all cases entrusted to me. My stock is new and complete and everyrthmg first-class. HEARSE FREE. EMBALMING A SPECIALTY. PHILIP SPAUG11, Hope, loti COLUMBUS MARBLE & GRANITE WORKS CLUTCH &. COLMAN, - Tn6pmETORS. C. 0. REMY. Salesman GRANITE MONUMENTS A SPECIALTY. HEAT DESIGNS; GOOD MATERIAL; PERFECT WORK; PRICES REASONABLE. 324 FOURTH STREET. COLUMBUS. — !. :v! ...L..3 An immense line of BOOTS & SHOES Which we will sell at lowest juices at the Globe Shoe Store 407 Washington st., .* Columbus, Ind. FRANK LINDSAY. r 1 ” 1 —. ■■■ ■ ■ — ■-v ■— . „ sst Asusaansp. -] 2300. The BEost Extensive BlfflO AND ORSAH DEALER*- 5 - I In Sont.hsrn Indiana. CATALOGUES FREE.

Th* Cbcsport Plaoc to Bay a I'm Organ. The Best Piece to Bet a Seed Plssu, Torms Easy. Warranted I*1t» Tosrs. Correspondence Promptly Answered Address, S. V. ELAJ£,jDIX\rO. Easrraour, IxidL FRANK DAVIS, AGEKT, Colnmtus, Ind.