Greenfield Republican, Greenfield, Hancock County, 16 August 1889 — Page 6

THE QUAKER CITY'S SOLOMON.

Rough and Ready Decisions bY Magistrate Bob Smith of Philadelphia. "She has a right to 'sass1 her husband." "A man who has lived for six years with a woman who has a tongue like a bell clapper has had a full share of punishment.

The Solomon who utters these decisions, which have a smattering of eommon sense if not of law, is big bluff Magistrate Bob Smith, says tha Philadelphia Record. His correct name is Robert R. Smith, but he is addressed by his full name only by utter strangers. From one end of the city to the other he is known as "Bob."

No magistrate is so well known in Philadelphia, and the fame of his decisions and judicial utterances has been carried to distant states. The magistrate is of sturdy frame, with a ruddy face and bright eyes, and he speaks in a sharp off-hand way that carries terror to the evil-doer.

The especial antipathy of the judge is a wife heater or a husband who has in other ways been remiss in his marital relations. His language to such offenders is severe. "You big. hulking brute!" he said to one of these creatures a while ago "it's a pity the whipping-post was ever abolished. Fellows like you ought to be tied up and lashed."

The justice is an ardent advocate of tne restoration of the whipping-post for certain offenses committed by men, and it has been said that he also favors a return to the ducking-stool as a method of punishment for women of unruly tongues. He looks upon a common scold as being almost as bad as a wifebeater. •'Now shut up and get out of here, all of you!" he has sometimes to say when a lot of wrangling women get to squabbling and bandying words in the sacred precincts of his court. "I've heard all I want to from you. Skip now or I'll put you all under bail."

But the most recent' decisions of the magistrate have won for him the undying love of womanhood. He has decided that it is a woman's right to "sass" her husband. The occasion of this queer decision arose from a suit brought by an up-town woman against her husband. "He beat me till I was black and blue," the woman testified. "What did you do that for, you brute?''said the justice. "She sassed me." x*eplied the husband. "Well, a woman has a right to sass her husband," retorted Justice Smith. "Find $1,000 bail, Madame, you g.o home and leave this fellow to me."

The ink had scarcely dried on the decision in this case when another attracted the attention of the justice. A woman with rather lively tongue appeared against a man she called her husband. The fellow was as meek as Moses and about twenty-five years older than the woman. She started off with her story at a 180-words-a-minute gait. "Hold on!" cried the magistrate. "He's a beast," said the woman. "How long have you been married to that tongue?" asked the justice. "Six years," replied his meekness in the dock. "You've been punished enough. Open the gate and let him go," said Smith.

Beginning life as a machinist, Judge Smith in these later year? ta turned his attention to agriculture, and is famous as a tie man farmer at North Wales on the North Penn railroad. He carries into farming the same direct methods that have distinguished him as a justice, and sometimes uses h"io knowledge of farming with groat effect '11 his court"So., are a farm -kand, are you?" ho has been known to say to some unfortunate brought before him at Fifth and Chestnut streeto, and who has given that as his occupation. "Well, now, how would you irrigate a field of ruta bagas?"

This generally has the effect ol breaking up the supposed farm hand, and the judge smiles triumphantly to Clerk MolTett at his unmasking of such deception.

Flight of the Albatross.

Of all birds, the albatross has, perhaps, the most extended powers ol flight. It has been known to follow a vessel for several successive days, without once touching the water, except to pick out food, and even thon it does not settle. In describing the flight of this bird from personal observation, Capt. Hutton writes as follows: "The flight of the albatross is truly majestic, as with outstretched, motionless wings he sails over the surface of the sea—now rising high in the air, now with a bold sweep, and wings inclined at an angle with the horizon, descending until the tip of the lower one all but touches the crests of the waves as he skims over them. I have .sometimes watched narrowly one of those birds sailing and wheeling about in all directions for more than an hour without seeing the slightest movement of the wings, and have never witnessed anything to eqi\al the ease and grace of this bird as he sweeps past, often within a few yards— every part of his body perfectly motionless except the head .and eye, which turn slowly and seem to take notice o* everything. 'Tranquil its spirit seemed and floated slow.- Even in its very motion there was rest.'"—St. James Gazette.

RATS IN POSSESSION.

The Rodents are Nightly Customers of a Broadway Restaurant. A restaurant on Broadway, not a half mile from Canal Street, is the theater of performances every night that are not down on the bills of fare. The play begins after dark and lasts until early morning. Usually it is still in action when the last spectator tires of watching through the unshuttered plate glass door and windows. The actors are i*ate.

Four traps are placed around a large hole in the floor in such a manner th&t a rat crawling out would have to step on the spring of one of them and set it off but the long headed little rodents are too sharp to be caught. They spring up through the hole, clearing the tap in safety. A little fellow about twelve inches long, after making his appearance through the hole sat down and looked at the traps for a minute or two in a most sarcastic manner. Then with a whisk of his tail he sprang over the traps and dived down the hole, only to reappear, followed by half a dozen of his companions. The traps are like ordinary fox traps, and do very little damage to the rats. When caught it is generally by the legs, in which case the rat will gnaw off the limb or limbs and retire through another exit. Such casualties ai'e rare. Several rats which appeared off and on throught the evening had but three legs apiece, but were nevertheless, as lively as the others.

The rats ran across the floor and around the base of a cigar Indian in true Indian file, four or five in a string. A street urchin remarked that he would not spend tho nig'ht inside in company with the rats for all the money the restaurant made. 'D' eir teeth

1

ud

go though shoe leather every time," he said. Two rats wil meet and rub noses and run away again, or, if not friends, will have a regular Sullivan and Mitchell set-to. They gather in family parties of three or four at the tables for supper. One rat has lost its tail, evidently through being caught by a clam. The clams open their shells, and a rat, in looking around the oyster counter for a toothpick, carelessly lets his tail slip into the mouth of a clam. He will drag away the clam until he gets to the mouth of his hole, and then either he hangs there or his tail comes off.

The rats are thick. There will be twenty-five or thirty in one night, and one man said he had seen as many as fifty. A man passing called out, "What's there?" and one of the urchin's replied, "rats." The man was mad at first, but quieted down in an awe-stricken manner when he looked in at the window.

Another man, after looking at tha rats, said: "Say, young man, are those rats?" The young man said, "Yes," and slowly remarked: "1 thought so, but I wanted to be sure."

Another man asked why ferrets were not used to exterminate the rats. His friend said that they had tried a ferret, and after getting all the blood he wanted, he played with the rats as though he was one of them.—New York Sun,?

Woven Rattan Coffins.

"What do you think of a rattan coffin?" said a very fashionable undertaker yesterday, who prides himself on his blue-blooded patrons. "I have just received from an Eastern manufacturing company two rattan caskets which have been sent as a sample. I have not yet had any calls for them, but they have received the stamp of approval of several of my scientific friends. The caskets are designed to meet tho desires of persons who object to the now prevailing mode of sealing bodies in air-tight caskets. It is argued that this method, as in tho case of cremation, i3 not in accordance with the decree of the Bible, and prevents the body from returning to the dust whence it came. With the rattan casket change the action of the earth has full sway, just the same as in the days of yore, when bodies were placed in the caves, and it is not long before all traces of the corpse and the ro'iin, too, have disappeared entirely. Besides these excellent qualities the rattan casket has this advantage: It can bo produced very cheeply. but it the same time tho rattan can bo worked up into beautiful designs, and with rich trimmings can bo made a receptacle worthy of holding a millionaire corpso. I'ii" coIIins are manufactured in Boston, wh there is quite a demand for them.

Just Her Size.

Miss Bluffins—I want a pair of slippers. Two and a half is my size. Clerk—What! two and a half?

Miss B.—I believe I spoke distinctly —two and a half. [Tho clerk seizes a pair of slippers and a blue pencil, and retires to the rear of the store. Presently he returns.]

Clerk—Here you are, Miss—two and a half, extra narrow. Miss B. tries on the slippers and accepts them. After her exit, the clerk says to the proprietor: "You had better order some of those No. 5 B's. I just sold her the last pair."—America.

A Palpable Plot

Mrs. "Du Ille—"John, my dressr.aker arrived to-day, and I must kavo the materials to-morrow."

Mr. Du Ille—"Eh? What? You said you had written to her not to come until next month."

Mrs. Du Ille—"Yes, I did, but she never got the letter." Mr. Du Ille (clasping his hand to his breast-pQcket)—"Woman! This is a plot—a vile plot! If you had really wanted her to stay away you would have handed that letter to the post-' man yourself you wouldn't have given it to me to mail."—New York Weekly.

A LOUISIANA EEPKB.

A Genuine Case of the Terrible Disease at New Orleans. *,

A genuine, well developed case ol leprosy located in a little and isolated cottage at the corner of Chestnut and Eliza streets, Algiers, across the river from New Orleans, was brought to light on the 20th of July. The leper is a young man named Jamec Kavanaugh, 29 years of age. Kavanaugh was born and raised in Algiers,and was for eleven years a teamster in the employ of Morgan's Louisiana & Texas Bailroad and Steamship Company. He was quite popular among his associates about rail road shops and in the town generally. He was an active and popular member of Morgan Steam Fire Company No. 3, and is practically cared for by the firemen at present. The disease began to show itself about four years ago in small brown spots on the chest and neck. He called in a prominent and well knows* physician, and after a thorough diagnosis of the case it was pronounced leprosy and incurable.

Fearing contagion,the members of the Are company built the little red painted house above mentioned, and young Kavanaugh was placed there as a doomed man. His father and sistei moved into the house with him, and additional rooms were provided for their occupancy. In a short time the disease began to spread until his entire body was covered with brown spots, his tongue was swollen and cracked until he could not articulate distinctly, nasal passages clogged, his eyebrows and lashes fell off, toe nails rotted and hifl entire body was fast becoming amass ot putrefaction.

A purse of $503 was made up by the firemen and offered to any one who would cure him. One or two doctors called on him, but he got no relief, and was finally given up to die. Kavanaugh was asked how he thought he contracted the disease—whether by inheritance or by contagion—and he said his father and sister lived in the same yard with him and were perfectly healthy that his progenitors were all a hardy, healthy people, and that he believed he had caught the disease from a young man who worked in the Morgan shopa several years ago and died from supposed leprosy. Inquiry among physi« cians and citizens of Algiers, and tha man's general appearance, settled the fact beyond dispute that he is in the last stages of the loathsome and hideout disease.

It is also current rumor that there are other cases of leprosy in and about Algiers in fact, the people do not seem to feel any alarm, and talk about thq disease with as much indifference as il it were a bad cold nnder discussion.

There is a man in our town And he is very wise, sir. .£* When e'er he doesn't feel just right

One remedy he tries, sir. It's just the thing to take in spring The blood to purify, He tells his friends, and nothing else la he induced to try. because, having taken Dr. Pierce's Golden Medical Discovery to cleanse his system, tone it up and enrich the blood, and finding that it always produces the desired result, he consider? that he wouJd be foolish to experiment with anything else. His motto is. "Prove all things and hold fast to thai which Is good." That is why he pins his faith to the "Golden Medical Discovery."

Walking advertisements for Di$ Sage's Catarrh Remedy are the thousj ands it has cured.

Marriage Is a Failure.

Springfield Union.

When there is too much latchkey. When dinner is not ready at dinned time.

When either of the parties marry for money. When the watchword is, "Each foij himself."

When neither husband nor wife takel a vacation. When children are obliged to clamor! for their rights.

When the vacations are taken by one side of i.he house only. When "he" snores the loudest while "she" kindles the fire.

When the children are given the neck and the baok of the chicken.' When a man attempts to tell his wife what style of bonnet she must wear.

When one of the parties engages in a business that is not approved by the other.

When a man's Christmas presents to his wife consist of bootjacks, shirts, and gloves lor himself.

When politeness, fine manners, and kindly attentions are reserved for com* pany or visits abroad.

When the lord of creation pays more for cigars than his better half does foi hosiery, boots, and bonnets.

When the money that ehould go for a book goes for what only one side of the house knows anything about.

When both parties persist in arguing over a subject upon which they nevei have and never can think alike.

When "father" lakes half of the pie and leaves the otb£r half for the one that made it and her eight children.

It is an indisputable fact that there arc many articles now in the market having an extensive sale, which are

UBed

foi

culinary purposes, that contain sub stances which are injurious to health, Baking powders containing alum, am monia, etc. Dr. Price's Cream Baking Powder is known to be pure and wholeBOtue.

When you say to a man with a boi on his neck, "This is a beautiful morn ing and all nature seems to be smiling,* you simply waste your breath.

He Didn't Know.

Stranger (in Chicago —Will you please tell me where State street is? Chicago man (haughtily)—Madam, I am a detective.

Hale and Iffcarty iu Old" Age. What is more beautiful than an ancient tree clothed with an ample robe of verdure. Apt is the comparison between such a growth ana an old man or woman infused with health and vigor. The sine qua non, the indispensable conflition af vigorous youth, robust manhood and virile old age, is sound digestion. Without this life is shorn of the hearty zest that should attend it. No more beneficient and agreeable contributor to the attainment of a hale old age, and efficient means of counteracting the infirmities that too often attend life's decline, can bj found than Hostetter's Stomach Bitters. Dyspeptic symptoms, a tendency to kidney pomplaint, nervous inquietude and rheumatic trouble are overcome by if use. The effect of exposure and overwork are nullified by it, and it aflord3 efficient protection to all subjected to malarial influences. Give it a thorough trial.

Every man thinks he knows a good cigar, but he generally prefers that somebody else shall buy it for him.

HALL'S CATARRH CUHE is a liquid and is taken internally. Sold by Druggists, 76c.

A reasonable man is one who accepts the situation until he can get a better place. _________________

If Dobbins' Electric Soap is what so many insist that it is, you can not afford to go without it. Your grocer has It, or can get it, and you can decide for yourself very soon. Don't let another Monday pass without trying it.

Pittsburg Chronicle: You have heard the welkin ring. Well, at the Oil Exchange you can see the bull ring.

IMPORTANT.

When visiting New York City, save Baggage Express and Carriage Hire,and stop at the Grand tJnion Hotel, opposite Grand Central Depot. 600 Handsomely Furnished Rooms at 31 and pwards per day. European plan. Elevators," ind all Modern Conveniences.

The C., H, & D. R. R. have just completed an agreement which will be of jreat convenience to the traveling public. Hereafter, the 1,000 mile books of this company will be accepted for paslage to all local points on the Yandalio line between Indianapolis and St. Louis md are good on all divisions of the Honon (L., N. A. & C.) Route, and on he O. I. & W. (I. B. & W.) between Indianapolis and Peoria. Rates for Ihese books, $20. The C. H. & D. still remains, also, the popular route to Ciniinnati and the East.

"There is a tide in the affairs of men which !f taken at the flood leads on to fortune." It four affairs are at low ebb now, don't fail ta write to B. P. Johnson & Co., 1009 Main St.. Richmond, Va., who have plans that will enable fou to make money rapidly.

Read Dr. Barber's card in another column. THE SOLDIERS' MONUMENT.

The Corner Stone to be Laid Aug. 22d, With Imposing Ceremonies.

The corner stone of the State Soldiers' ipd Sailors'Monument at Indianapolis will be laid August 22, with imposing seremonies. It is expeoted that the attendance will be the largest the State Capital has ever witnessed and great preparations are being made to care for all who apply.

Visitors to Indianapolis:

Visitors to the unveiling of the State Soldiers' Monument Aug. 22, and to the State Fair are invited to call on S. D. Crane, east Washington street, and examine his stock of Watches, Diamonds, Jewelry and optical goods. His stock is large, elegant and select, and prices reasonable. It will be to the advantage of those wishing to purchase to investigate his goods and prices.

TheG. A. R. from every part of the State will be in attendance and the Sons of Veterans will also be present in large numbers. Beside these, many secret societies, including Patriarchs Militant (I. O. O. P.) and K. of P., will be represented in trie parade.

The opticians of the Edmondson Optical Association make ocular tests of ill classes of defective vision free, and make spectacles to order at low prices. All are invited to have a FREE test at No. 28 East Washington street, Indian* fepolis, Ind. The opticians of this company use no drugs.

President Harrison will be among tha number of distinguished guests from abroad.

RKADER! When next in Indianapolis don't miss a visit to the great Cyclorama,

THE BATTLE OF ATLANTA,

The largest and most wonderfully real* istie war painting in the world. It i4 reality and fiction all in one. Oncfl been always remembered. Admission 50 cents. A special rate of 25 cents wilJ be given to members of tho G. A. R.j Rons of Veterans, and Ladies, for tlid 22d of August, on account of layin the corner stone of the Soldiers' an Sailors' Monument.

Low rates are offered_by all railroads

Soldiers who think tlie.y are not properly rated in the way of pensions, should take their pension certificates and discharge papers to Indianapolis 011 the 22d, and see the two "hustlers," Knefler & Lopp, over the U. S. Pension Office, one-half square west of Grand Hotel they get the boys pensioned, rerated and increased in line shape.

Base Ball

On Aug. 23d, there will be played on the Indianapolis base ball grounds two games for the championship, Cleveland vs. Indianapolis, and visitors will have an opportunity to witness the playing of Glasscock and Denny, the greatest short stop and third baseman living. Games called at 10 a. m. and 4 p. m., and will not in the least interfere with seeing the street parade. Admission 50c.

The laying of the corner stone of the Soldiers' Monument at Indianapolis on the 22d will be a great occasion, and at a point on Meridian street just a half square south of the monument there is a place where those who have defective vision can find all the aid spectacles can give them, lor at this place, No. 1!1 North Meridian street, will bo found Mr. J. N. Mayhew, the practical and expert optician, who has had twenty years experience (15 years with the late L. W. M. ^s.) Remember the name and location —iy North Meridian street.

Children Cry for Pitcher*s Castorjg.

When Baby was sick, we grave her Castoria. When she was a Child, she cried tor Castoria, When she became Miss, she clung to Castoria,

When she had Children-,, ahe ijave them Castoria.

Fancies of the Hour.

Engaged on the spot—a detective. Areola Record: The importer of hardware often has an English axe-sent.

Merchant Traveler, "I beg your pardon," said the convict to the Governor. Glens Falls Republican: People who live in flats are apt to be annoyed by sharps.

Kilrain is somewhat like old butter in July. He is strong enough, but he runs easily.

While you are inveighing against this hot weather don't forget that it furbishes work to the pore.

It matters little how scientifically the pitcher throws the ball. The umpire is the power behind the thrown,

Somerville Journal: A cool million will go along way towards making anybody happy this warm weather.

'.for Qire

1

Restaurants supplied with the best. Horse Jars and elevated railroads to all depots. You jan live better for less money at the Grand Union Hotel than at any other first-class hotel in ihe City.

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CONSUMPTION

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All letter* containing 2c itamy promptly I ud roedicmea iant to older.

DONTRUNTHERISK

of losing your child by permitting Worms to work out its destruction. \Vhen a child fails t# sleep well, is restless, unnatural in its appetite and grinds its Worms FAHNE druggist for it.

PENSIONS

New Laws, new Rulings. Every soldier or soldier's widow should send to the Old Established Claim Agency of P. H. FITZGERALD and get his 12-pape pamphlet on War Claims mailed free. No. tiSV&East Market street, Indianapolis, Ind.

P. H. FITZGERALD.

I prescribe ana fbSlyflpi dorse Big ai the OOV specific for tb caitalacua of this diseaae. G. H. INGRAHAM.M. D.,

ArasteMam, N. T.

"We have sold Big O tot many year*, and" it has given the but cf •atf*. faction.

D. R. DYCHEv CO.. Chicago, I1L. .SI.00. Bold by Draggld*

LADIES CAN SEW WITHOUT THREAD!

A beautiful blind hem in ide with our tissue. It will hold and stand the 'Mr and tear of constant use. It makes verv fine work, and saves time and money. Send lf cts. for sample and ia« strucnons. FRANK H. SMITH.

Indianapolis, Ind.

DETECTIVES

Wanted in evnry countv. Shrewd men "to act under instruction, in our secret service. Experience not nc-n ssftrv. Send

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RILLING detective stories, 16 complete ove Stories aud 100 Popular Songs, IO conta (silver). L. J- CAMPBELL, Guilford, Ind.

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When writing to Advertisers readers will confer a favor by mentioning tliis pap»r.

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Fstahlishcd 1867. Decidedly one of the best, most successful nnd thorough in tho State. Inyestiga .tkm invited. A College of Boolc-keepiag, SHORT-HAND, Typo-Writing, Penmanship

vyant & Stratton Chicago Business College!

SHORT-HAND INSTITUTE AND ENGLISH TRAINING SCIIOOT. Is the STANDARD INSTITUTION and the Largest in tlio Worldi Full information, 'Catalogue. Terms, etc.. sent FREE. Address, B. ltKYANT & SON, Prop's., Clucago, III, •WWE RECOMMEND THIS OJLLICG15 TO OUR READERS. Mention this pajmr when you write.

BRYANT & STRATTON BMESS C0U.E6E

Jtook lieeplnff. Short Hand. Teltffraphy,

Write for Catalogue and full information.|mVrW IV "•""•J

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OUlSVILLEa K. a

Thorongti many New Bngland Collect at half the expense. Three balldlnKS, a fourth going up. Science, da» lcs, French, (tor*

volume*. Wide awake city. Boarding, tuition and room (or yea* modationt far ladiegln Hcrncllff Halt, under care of a unatrcai Catalogue ftca. N. V. iiSMJUNBiiMU, Seo'jr, IfrlnltM, Q.