Greenfield Evening Star, Greenfield, Hancock County, 8 January 1906 — Page 4

One morning almost as soon

and

=*•1

Calling It Square

[Copyright. isH)3» by It. B. McCIure.] The widow iivveii. living uext wes'. of the deacon's, bad ean a widow for three shears, and it was common talk that she and the widower would make a match.

In' early spring the widow had bought a cow, and that cow had jumped every fence on Hie deacon's land within twc weeks, but he had always driven hei back home without a word of com plaint. On this occasion, however, the deacon was vexed. "I've stood it and stood it and stood it," he said to himself as he surveyed the damages, "but I can stand it no longer The widder Green must be made to understand that her cott can't go about like a roarin' lion, kuockin' down fences and tramplin' down corn. I estimate that she has damaged me $10 worth, and that widder has got to be sharply talked to."

He cirove the cow to the home of her owner, giving her a vigorous whack on the way whenever he could get near enough, and when he had reached the house and Leen saluted by Mrs. Green He said: ""Widder, I told you two months ago that your new cow was a jumper." "Yes, you did." "And that you must put a poke on her." "Yes." "Well, you didn't do it, and she's damaged me $10. When I found her in my cornfield just now, I almost •wanted to kill her." "I'm sorry, deacon," was the humble reply. .' V", "But bein' sorry won't do," said the deacon, who felt that he had the advantage and should pres.? it. "Jumpin' •cows should be poked. I told you that wnii ago, but you don't seem to care two cents." g0iU' to poke her." "But goiu' to poke a cow and pokin' her are two different things. That was the way with Mirainly. She's dead, and I don't want to say any tiling agin her, but she was always goin' to do and never doin'. You're a widder woman, and I'm sorter sorry for you, but you must obey the law same as other folks. The law says that a jumpin' cow"— "Xe**er mind what the law says. Deacon Allbright," interrupted the widow. "You are makin' a great lfuss over

few stalks of corn, and if you'll 1 ell me what the damage is I'll pay it. I never thought you was such a man." "But you've got a jumpin' cow." "Then let 'er jump. I stand ready to pay all damages." "Bat you are mighty sassy about it." "I've a right to be. I've got no man, thank heaven, to boss me around." "It would be better if you had. Then you'd know that any one who owned a lumpin' cow was obleeged"— "Deacon Allbright, how much do I owe you 7" exclaimed the woman. "If 'twas any one else I'd say $10, but bein' it's you"— "I won't pay 10 cents." %. "Then I'll sue you for damages!" "You can sue till the chickens become ducks. You could boos Mirandy around and make her feel as humble as a cat, but you can't boss me. Go ahead with "Jrour old lawsuit."

The deacon said he would and turned away. Before he had gone forty rods he changed his mind, and there would have been no legal trouble but for the oow.' 'V

Not satisfied with what she had done, she took advantage of the occasion to die. It was from overfeeding on the juicy stalks and young ears, anrl a witness was found to come forward and swear to certain whacks the deacon had bestowed upon her anatomy as he drove her along the road. "He's so powerful quick to talk about lawsuits that I'll give him one!" said the widow when she heard that the Jumping cow had passed away. And within four hours she was in

the

vil

lage consulting a lawyer. When Deacon Allbright received notice that he had been sued he, of course, started a countersuit. Then some one told the widow that he was talking about her. and she started a slander 'SUlt.

He heard that she was talking about him, and he instituted another suit. Then the deacon's sister chipped In and had her say, and the widow began a third suit. The deacon had once saved her barn after it had been struck by lightning, and now he instituted

claim for salvage. The law works slowly in a country town. A lawsuit is a thing to be hung on to as long as possible and made the most of The first two suits were tried *nd appealed, and the two others were called and adjourned several times, and finally two years had passed away and no one was better off and no point had been settled.*

as the

fteacon was out of bed he received notic® that his spotted ox was lying dead tn the widow Green's cornfield. The Animal had broken down the fence and overfed. The deacon was met at the (ate by the widow, who said: "I could say that you had a jumpin* and that he should have been poked

that you had damaged me $10, but I shan't do anything of the sort. I lo9t

cow, and you've lost an ox. I sued And you sued. I was a fool, and yor

ware

ditto. Shan't we shake hands and call it square?" "I—I guess we'd better," the deacon replied after taking a moment to think It over—"that is, provided you'll have me and we both wear the same poke after this." "Well, I don't mind. But, dear me, what dunces we were to go and lose

two

whole years over it!"

M. QUAD.

IRONCLAD VESSELS.

The Firs* Omen Seem to Have Bee* Built by France In 1855.

The idea of protecting ships by means of armor appears to have originated in the United States, but the French were the first to adopt it. Five floating batteries were constructed in "France with oak sides eight inches thick, protected by armor four and three-eighths Inches thick. In March, 1855, the first of these, the Tonnante, mounting sixteen guns, was launched at Brest, and the other four were all launched in the same year. These vessels were first used at the bombardment of Kinburn in the Black sea on the 17th October, 1855. Two English vessels—the Erebus and Terror—were at once built on similar lines, but did not arrive at Kinburn till the 24th of October, too late to take part in the bombardment.

The results of this experiment were so satisfactory that the French govern-" ment fitted a wooden frigate, then building, with armor of the same thickness, and in November, 1859, the first ironclad frigate, La Gloire, of 5,000 tons displacement and 800 horsepower, was launched.—Pearson's Weekly.

When We Did Not Care For Japan.

When the first embassy from Japan arrived in Washington a member of the senate rose and said: "Mr. President, the first ambassadors from the venerable country of tfapan are about to arrive. I move the senate do now adjourn to meet and welcome the Japanese." Immediately another senator was on his feet, not to second the motion, but to say sharply, "Mr. President, I humbly trust the senate of the United States of America will not adjourn for every show that comes along." That settled it.—From Mrs. Roger A. Pryor'a "Reminiscences."

An UnliroUen Spell.

When we have a "spell o' weAtlier." and wet weather at that, we have only to recall the climatic conditions of Dartmoor, in England, in order to be thankful for a little.

The moor has, says a writer in Cornhill, an eternal procession of clouds, infinitely varied in form, lighted with a

wlifte

radiance or lowering in gloom,

rent, tattered or filmy, gathering, menacing, creeping round to sv.atli you in a mist of rain or dropping one of those silvery showers lighted with sunshine from behind.

Of heavier rain there is no lack, and all one can say of the perennially beautiful moor is summed up in the verse invented by its enemies: The south wind always brings us rain. The-corth wind blows it back again. The west wind surely means wet weather, The east wind wet and cold togetner.

V/aitins Upon His lli-JUe.

Two hundred years a.sro it was a custom very general in England for the bridegroon' wait upon his bride on their wedd:ug day. The following extract from John Shebbe^re's "Matrimony." a book published in the middle of the eighteenth century, testifies to this and refers to the popular superstition about it: "The dinner being served, Sir Oliver was the gayest man in the company. The bridegroom and bride sitting by the side of each other, the old gentleman observed: 'Ods-lieart. ods-heart! What, dine with the bride the first day! A fine bridegroom a fine bridegroom! It was the fashion when I was married to stand behind the bride's chair with a napkin sfnd serve her. Serve her today she'll serve you always after.'

The Perspective of LlRlit.

Velasquez recognized that light is elastic and illuminates the air hence he was the first to discover anew kind of perspective. Men long ago had learned to make lines vanish from the eyeT to make the figures diminish in size and shape as they recede from the front and to explain the distance by contrasts of light and shade. But lie discovered the perspective of light. By the most delicate rendering of the quantity of light reflected from each and every part of the room and the figures and objects in it he has given to the latter the reality of form and to the room its hollowness and distance.—St. Nicholas.

New Caledonia.

Until 1853 New Caledonia was a sort of no man's land. Then both England and France decided to annex it, and orders came to two warships to proceed thither at once. They started the same day. The English captain had heard of the reefs that surround the island, and he was cautious. The Frenchman went aliea without regard for the reefs. When the British captain arrived he saw the tricolor 'flying from a hill, and he was invited to come in and lunch on French soil.

The Mexican Letter Writer.

As many of the lower classes in the City of Mexico can neither read nor write, the Mexican letter writer does a thriving business. He writes letters of all kinds—love letters, begging letters—it matters little to him, so that he Is paid for his work These men are found in the Plaza of Santo Domingo, a sort of market place, where secondhand articles are for sale.

The Hazard of the Die.

A.—Where are you off to 7 B.--I am going to ask Mr. the wealthy banker, for. the hand of one of his daughters. A.—Indeed: Which of them 7 B.—I don't know yet. If he

in a good humor, I will take the youngest if in a bad humor, the eldest.— Lustige Blatter.

An Anxlont Father.

Sue Deering—I'm afraid papa was angry when you asked him for me, was he, Jack? Jack Hillow—Not at all. He asked me if I knew any more respectable men who would be likely to marry your

flve

sisters

coaxed.

proper!}

THIS! WEEK'S STRONG BILL.

At the Grand Opera House, Indianapolis.

The world famous magician, Herrman, the Great, will be the bright (particular star of this week's bill at the Grand, although there will be several othes acts on'the program that shine With exceptional brilliance in the world of vaudeville. Herrmann will be seen in one of his mystifying exhibitions of magic, assisted by Marie Herrmann and his company of entertainers. The transmission from one generation to another in the same family of some peculiar gift has never been more strikingly exemplified than in the Herrmann family. For several generations back, without break, in cousecutive succession, the Herrmanns have been conspicuous as masters of magic demonstrations which in these modern times delight* theater-goers but which, in ^the old days, were viewed with religious awe. By right of birth and tradition, as well as by careful exploitation of magical phenomena, the name Herrmann will always as sociate itself with the best in this lino of stage presentation. Leone Herrmann, upon whom the mantle of his uncle, the late Alexander Herrmann, has fallen,, will bring^many new tricks and illusions with him when he apdears next week, and for a half-hour at each performance of the vaudeville bill will enterteain with a spetacular act that cannot fail to arouse great interest. j«

A jolly feature of the program will be the specialty of the well known comedy stars, Oris Bruno and Mable Russell, who may always be counted upon for a delightful mixture of music andj|mirth. Their latest act is credited with being the best vehicle they have ever offered vaudeville-goers Another act^'of high class will be the comedy, "The®Two Rubies" presented by Miss Dean Edsal and Arthur Forbes, who will, upon this occasion, make their first appearance at the Grand. Both'are players of recognized ability, and their one-act comedy has been scoring decided success wherever it has been seen.

Snyder and Buckley, the popular musical comedians, and great favorites with Indianapolis audiences, will be seen in~& merry specialty, and the Dougherty Sisters will contribute an an attractive offering. A pair of noted European performers are the Sisters Amoros, who sing, dance, execute woundrful feats on the trapsze and conclude with wonderful acrobatic work. These young women are now making their first tour ©f America and their act is sura to prove something of a surprise. Pete Baker, the famous German comedian, will be heard in his songs, stories and imitations, and Tony Wilson and Heloise, a duo of gymnasts from England, will be seen in a novel act. The bioscope will bring the show to a finish with a series of splendid animated pictures.

Low Fare to California, Colorado. Mexico. And Points South and West'

via Pennsylvania Lines. Quick train service takes passengers from cold to warm climates in a few hours. Further information cordially furnished upon request addressed to nearest Pennsylvania Lines ticket agent.

THE INDIANA FAKMER. The Indiana Farmer, Indianapolis, Ind., now in its 60th year, one of the oldest and best agricultural and livestock papers published, wants a good live canvassing agent at all points not now occupied. It you have any spare time this winter you can make money working for the Indiana Farmer Send for agents'terms.

Entertainment for the New Year.

Lippincott's Magazine sends hearty New Year's greetings to its readers all over the world. And may tbey-'be happier for reading twelve numbers of the Magazine during the year 1906.

The January issue contains Marie Van Vorst's new novelette, "The Master of Craven." This tremendously strong tale is bound to excite—and abundantly satisfy—a wide interest wherever the name ot Van Vorst is known among all classes. The author is^American through and through, though she spends much time in Paris, whose atmosphere is productive of the good fiction that comes straight to the hearts of her own countryman.

Of the half-dozen short stories which follow "The Master of Craven," each one possesses a delightfully distinct significance and individualism. "The Door to the Rright," by Baroness von Hutton (the creator of "Pam"), is a clever social problem story "Jack's Bill-Board Girl" by Norval Richardson, is a humorous theatrical story "The House on Fayette Street," by a new writer of considerable originality, Jane Belfield, is about

Francies a Dragon, a Lover, Goldfish and a Rose" "A Missionary Appropriation," by Edith Morgan Willett, is a burglar story, concerning a portentously funny merchant and his wife "The Atonement," by LuellenCass Teters, is a humorous story of love and superstition and "The Strike in the Clarion Office," by Caroline A. Huling, is a striking "strike" story connected with a newspaper office. "Is a Surplus*More of a Menace than a Surety?" by afinacier who calls himself simply, "W. L. "is likely to provoke no little argument by readers' in the business world. "W. L." contends that "A moderate surplus maybe allowed as a wise provision to meet some unusual percentage of loss without impar ment of Capita], but the only other"good excuse for a surplus is that|in some States the capital only is taxed, and in the form of a surplus addition capital is secured free from taxation."

The bi-centenary of Benjamin Franklin's death is celebrated by a protrait of "Poor Richard" on the cover of the magazine and by a paper on "Franklin's Trials as a Benefactor," by Emma Repplier. This makes us realize, at least a little, the difficulties endured by this great philanthropist. Wimer Bedford concludes his "Memories of Some Generals of the CivilliVar" by interesting recollections of General McPherson, Howard, Dennis and others.

The verse of the month is attuned to the spirit of "a sunbeam in a winter's day" and the "Walnuts and Wine" department makes its bow to its many friends, and a Happy New Year!

Unexcelled Service to Cuba.

Effective Jan 5, 1906, through Pullman sleepers will leave Cincinnati at 8:30 a. m. every

day via Queen & Crescent Route and Southern Railway to Mobile connecting with Munson S am in a 'Prince George" at 4:30 p. m. on Saturdays and through sleeper from Mobile every Friday at 7:00 p. m. north to Cincinnati on arrival of steamer "Prince George" from Havana.

Tickets are now on sale good until May 31st, at the rate of $65.00 for the round trip from Cincinnati including meals and berths on steamer.

For information address Frank Johnson, Special Agent Passenger Department Munson SS Line, Washington C. H,, O., or F. C. Rinearson, G. P. A.,

Queen & Crescent cinnati, O.

FOR SALE

GREAT CENTRAL

During the Winter Tourist season we run through cars from all points on our line to Jacksonville and St. Augustine.

This is the direct line to Asheville, Thomasville, •^Savannah, the Carolinas,

Tampa, Miami.

*, Cuba and Nassau.

each blade.

sale of

SPECIAL

cAi nc

oALt Ur

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^fiDtimii) uiiwn liiiniii

Route, Cin-

beating stove. Inquire at this office. 26-tf

-A..

Feathers and

Direct connections for

guaranteed for twenty and twenty-five years,

while they last at

Mobile, New Orleans, Hot Springs, Biloxi,

and all points in

2A& !.?.£' IN

frusCn tliJ (U ft

Texas and Lousiana, Mexico and California.

Round Trip Tickets=Gocd All Winter=Low Rates

Write to or call upon any Agent Great Central for full information For HotelRates, Tourist Books, or information aboutclimate, writeto

D. G, EDWARDS, Passenger Traffic Manager, Cincinnati Ohio.

*4 S

,j sld umigi B&dss mutucii Usu

ncs Com

Of ELKHART,

Writs or cai! on W. H. WSNSH8P, Manager, Indianapolis office, £24 LAW BUILDING, PHONES, MEW 5080 OLD, RED 3072 5 DI AN APO LIS, IM D»

Gillette

NO STROPP4NC.NO HONING. llUlrUI

HP Set consists of 12 double-edged blades (24 keen cutting edges) with triple silver-plated handle, in velvet-lined case.

write for free illustrated booklet.

UNREDEEMED GOODS!

We also Loan Monpv on Dianionds, Watch*1* ar»d Jpwelrv,

BLOOM'S MONEY LOAN OFFICE.

229 East Washington St,, Opposite Court House.

spa.

r^i

f.-U

5 I N I A N A O I S I N I A N A

FUNERAL DIRECTORS

1 Lady attendant when desired.' Beth Phones.

1 WILKINSON, INDIANA.

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For the Cheapest and Best

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IND

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20 to 40 shaves from*.

Blades never have to be sharpened. Ask your dealer or*

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Unredeemed Overcoats and Shot Guns

AS OOI AS SEW AT VKRY 1,01V 1*ICIC'ES

Unredeemed Elgin and Waltbam Watches,

S I I A N S do the W. B. Erect Form corset. That's

because the Erect Form is founded on the natural figure—assisting instead of hindering its fullest development. The Erect Form throws out the chest flattens the abdomen braces the back and rounds off hips and bust into graot ful modish lines.

More than 40 different models. Each style designed for a different figure. Your dealer carries the Erect Form in stock at price) upward from $1.00.

WEINGARTEN BROS., Makers 377*379 Broadway, New York

& C0ND0

LICENSED EMBALMERS