Greenfield Evening Republican, Greenfield, Hancock County, 12 January 1895 — Page 4
AT THE CIRCUS.
Xjomt my money at tlio circus— Glory, hitllclu) I come to town An planked it down For to see them liosscs go aroiin •.•••• An the circus cliap—oh, ho dono me brown-
Glory, hallolu!
lost my money at the circus— Glory, hallelu! It turned my hools an it turned my head, Fer the lor.ion.ido was bilin red. An tho cheap, cheap sideshows had me dead. An the ace o' clubs warn't the card I said-
Glory, hnllelu!
liOst my money at tho circusGlory, hallelu! I lost it square, Put 1 jest- don't care, Fer I seen it all, an I got my share (Hare you ont dollur and a half to Rpare?)—
Glory, hallelu 1
—Atlanta Constitution.
THE FAMILY THEE.
Captain Craik was tho proudest man in Aniorica. Ho had served creditably in tho war of 1812, as his father had in the Revolution and his grandfather in the "Old French war"—all captains •who had never received a scratch or once encountered tho vulgar smell of gunpowder.
That none of his name had ever risen aT-ive tho rank of captain was a circumstance ho not a little plumed himself upon. Generals and commandors-in-chiof, he was accustomed to say, were for tho most part parvenus, promotod through luck or for accidental reasons. But a captaincy running in a family for three generations was quite another affair.
Family prido was the captain's specialty. How far back lie could trace his kindred nobody exactly knew, but it •was popularly believed ho could, if BO minded, produce satisfactory proof that the Craiks had cruised through the flood in their own privato yacht.
Tho captain liatod the new and worshiped the old. When he went about it was in an ancient family gig drawn by an old horse of approved extraction, now a mere pedigree in harness, but ill whoso spavi:is and windgalls the captain took almost as much pride as he did in the family gout.
Captain Craik was rioh, moreover. Time and the natural rise of property had made him so. Ho would have scorned tho acquisition of wealth by any less respectable mode. Trade ho looked upon as plebeian and vulgar. Specnlation was upsiartish, and as for petroleum —faugh!
His daughter and only child ho had left to dio unlcrgivon and almost in want for having married a man without a grandfather. The poor girl had besought Ilia forgiveness while her hn«baiid lived, 'but ceased to do so after his death, seeming to look upon such an act as a sort of treason to his memory. Her infant son, however, soon left motherless as well as fatherless, was takon into favor at last for the sake cf the blood that •was in him, and thus it came that Willard Spenco was brought up in his grandfather's honso in away befitting the heir apparent to tho handsomest for tune within 50 miles.
Captain Craik would have greatly preferred that his grandson, after finishing at college, should have sat down in gentlemanly idleness and quietly awaited his turn at the family succession. But Willard Spenco had other views. He was far from sharing his grandfather's notions on the value of ancestry, and though too discreet to openly laugh at them ho felt ho was more than likely to run counter to them some day, as his poor mother had done, when his own time to marry came. It •was for this reason partly and partly because he had an ambition to be something in his own right that Willard prevailed upon his grandfather to enter him as a student in the office of Mr. Stiles, tho leading lawyer of the county.
It was with some reluctance that the old gentleman yielded. He entertained a not very exalted opinion of the bar. But then it was a stepping stone to the bench, and though the family could froast of three successivo captains thore liad never been a chief justice in it. It •was this consideration that determined the captain.
If John Stiles was tho driest of lawyers, his daughter Mary was the prettiest and most fascinating of girls, and "Willard Spenco was not the man to be slow in finding it out. It would bo the old story over to recount tho steps of their falling in love and how deeply they fell in.
Willard ventured to hint to his grandfather one day, not at tho stato of his feelings, but what a nice, intelligent young lady Miss Stiles was. The old gentlemau caught like gunpowder. Ho had no excuso for putting a summary end to his grandson's legal studios and packing him off on a foreign tour, for the young man had said nothing to justify a suspicion of his being in love. But the captain scented danger afar and proceeded to read such a homily on the sin of marrying into families without lineage and put such a disinheriting look on that Willard was fain to drop the subject.
If the reader has ever read Elackstono he will remember, and if ho hasn't wo will tell him, that in tho second book there is a folding leaf called a "Table of Descents," whereon tho author illustrates tho mode of computing kindred 1)y a tabular view of the ancestors and collateral relatives for ten or a dozen generations of a certain fictitious John Stiles. The names aro inclosed in little circles, with lines uniting thoso supposed to have intermarried, whoso names are further united by other lines to those of their offspring. "I have it I" was Willard Spence's exclamation as his eye fell on this leaf tying lose in thovolumo ho was reading one day.
That evening it was accidentally dropped in his grandfather's way. ''What's this?" asked the old gentloman, picking it up and putting on his specs. "A paper I found in one of Mr. Stiles' books," was tho innocent reply. "Hnmphl A copy of the Stiles' fam-
I ily tree, and—stop, let me see—running back, I live, through more generatiuns than I supposed any man in the j! state could count but myself 1 Who'd have thought that dried up old lawyer had so much blood in him?" I "Not I certainly," acquiesced Willard. "And see, here's the name of Baker.
My maternal great-grandmother's maiI den namo was Baker. By Jove, I shouldn't wonder if wo found ourselves related yet!" "Nor I either," said Willard drily. "Miss Stiles—is shovery handsome?" inquired tho old gentleman. "Passably, answered the young hypocrite.
Then it occurred to the captain to lecture his grandson on the impropriety of not having returned tho paper to Mr. Stiles at once. The young man defended himself with a fib, which the reader may pardon if he likes. He said the paper had dropped out of a book he brought home to read, and of course he would hand it to Mr. Stiles the first thing in the morning.
Next day Willard was sitting in Mr. Stiles' office fumbling over a lawbook and thinking of Mary when his grandfather's gig drove up. Willard wished in his heart it had broken down by the way. Tho thing he most dreaded was the two old gentlemen getting together and coming to explanations at present. "Is Mr. Stiles in?" inquired the captain. "Yes, sir," answered the office boy, ushering tho visitor into the back office before Willard had time to toll tho lio he had framed or tip the boy tho wink. "Goodmorning, Mr. Stiles," said the captain blandly. "Good morning, captain, returned the lawyer a little stiffly. "Pray be seated."
The captain excused the stiffness. A man with a dozen generations at his back had a right to bo stiff. "I come to speak to you on a matter of importance, said the captain, taking the proffered seat.
Tho lawyor's faco brightenod at the prospect of securing a valuable client. "My maternal great-grandmother," tho captain proceeded, "was a Baker, and your grandfather"—
Was a shoemaker, tho other was on tho point of interrupting, for he knew the captain's hobby and had little patienco with it.
But before tho word was spoken, which would doubtless have led to the explanation Willard so much feared, a cry of alarm broke off tho conversation. Tho two gentlemen reached tho front door in time to see tho captain's horse and gig dashing down the street at a pttco that astonished all beholders. For tho lirefc time in 20 years old Roan's blood was up, and a« he tore along in a gait compounded of equal parts of canter and stringhalt it was hard to tell which rattled moat, the dry bones of the horse or tho rickety old gig. The question of which would go to pieces first was speedily settled by one of the hubs striking a post, which in an instant reduced tho vehiclo to its original elements and brought old Roan up standing, hiscomposuro complotely restored, the crackers having ceased to pop. "Who on earth did it?" roared the captain.
Willard didn't know unless it was a sandy haired boy ho had just seen dodge round the corner, with a face too dirty to be recognized.
What with the excitement and the gathering up of the fragments and the arrangements necessary to get the captain and old Roan home, tho object of the former's visit was for the timo forgotten. Before he found an opportunity to renew it, a sevoro attack of gout laid him up for a season. Meanwhile Willard pressed his suit. Mr. Stiles gave his consent. Mary's had already been obtained, and tho "family treo" had settled all scruples with the captain, whose only regret was at not being able to attend the wedding. Whether he ever found out the true state of the caso is more than we can tell. If he did, he said nothing, for Mary's loving granddaughterly ways soon completely won his proud old heart, and when little great-grandchildren began to prattle about his knees it wouldn't have made much difference what he found out.— Exchange.
Highly Humorous.
An American who has been travoling in England declares that ho has seldom found the average inhabitant of London inclined to be discourteous. As a rule, any information asked by a stranger is given freely and kindly. But you must not expect an Englishman to forego an opportunity to make a good, robust British joke.
Onono occasion the traveler happened to bo in the neighborhood of Millbank prison and fancied that ho would like a glimpse at that famous place of detention. fe "Can you tell mo tho way to Millbank?" he asked of a stout tradesman whom he met. 'Aye,'' answered John BulL 'Knock mo down and rob me pockots, and you'll soon onough bo on the straight road thero!"
Then, without vouchsafing any further information, ho passed on, with a chuckle.—Youth's Companion.
Stopped tlic Pouching.
A Scotch gentleman, plagued by poachors, procurod a cork log dressed in a stocking and shoo and sent it through the neighboring village by tho town crier, who proclaimed that it had been found in a mantrap the previous night in Mr. Ross'grounds, who desired toreturn it to the ownor. Thoro was no more poaching after that. —Pick Me Up.
Ancient Steelyards.
The steelyards found in Ilerculaneum are constructed on exactly tho same principlo as thoso of today, with a pan and a bar, with a graduated scalo, along which a weight was moved. The woightwasof metal and commonly represented a human head, sometimes the head of a deity, Morcury being tho most popular.
FOB LITTLE FOLKS.
MR. «REY AND MR. BROWN.
The Reaaon Why They Don't Now In the Same House Explained. Mr. Thomas Grey was an old cat, who lived in a lonely little house at the turn of the road.
Mr. Brown was a nimble little mouse, who lived in the basement without paying any rent, and who got his meals by stealing from Mr. Grey's pantry when Mr. Grey was not at home.
One day Mr. Grey came home sooner than Mr. Brown expected and almost caught him as he was making for the knothole which he called his "private entrance" to the basement Mr. Grey smacked his lips and stroked his mustache, for ho dearly loved a fat and tender mouse. "Good morning," he said politely. "Have you lunched?" "Oh, dear, no!" said Mr. Brown. "I have had nothing to eat these three days past, and my sides aro so thin that I have to button my coat tight so that my ribs will stay together. "Indeed!" said Mr. Grey in a disappointed tone, for a thin mouse is poor fare. "And how does that happeu?" "Well, when a man has a wife and six children, said the mouse, "and has to feed them all, there is not much left for him. Thero is my wife now, "he went on in a complaining voice, "just as fat as butter. You'd think she'd help forage, now, wouldn't you? Well, she wont. Sho lots me do it all, and she must see tho condition I am in. And each one of thoso boys is twice as big as I am, just from overfeeding.
Mr. Grey's eyes shona "I should like to see them. They must bo handsome children, he said. "Would you?" said Mr. Brown. "Shall I go fetch them? They never stir a step unloss I mako them." "Do so, Mr. Brown by all means do so. I shall bo pleased and proud to meet all of your family—all, Mr. Brown, if you please," for the old cat thought, "Seven fat mico are better than one thin one any day.
So Mr. Brown popped down the knot hole, and Mr. Grey drew his chair up, all ready to pounce upon the fat mice. But he waited in vain.
Then Mr. Brown, who had no wife nor a chick nor child in tho world, but was a gray and good for nothing old bachelor, pot a sigu up in the basement: "To Let. Desirable rooms for a single gentloman," and went to live in a corn crib with somo other bachelor mice like himself. Often in the evening ho would climb up and look in the window at the old cat, sitting patiently by the hole, waiting, waiting for the seven fat mice. Then he would langh and langh until he nearly tumbled off the window sill.—Etheldred B. Barry in Buffalo News.
A Nursery Pantomime.
I've been to see the pantomime, Where all the people speak in rhyme. I wonder why they do. ssk There was a little girl like me. Her hair was all in curl, and she
Had got a dog like you.
They danced a merry minuet, Like this—stand up and bow, my petl For that's the way, you know. Now, bow again, and onco again, And watch the steps I take, and then
I'll show you how they go.
Two Funny Babies.
The two babies of the Chinese minister now in Washington are very cunning bits of babyhood, though thoy do look a triflo odd in their queer little oriental duds. A lady who saw them for tho first time the other day declares they resemble nothing so much as a couple of firecrackers.
Cyclone Top.
A new toy has mado its appearance on the boulevards, says La Nature, and seems to bo very popular. An ordinary flat top, formed of a disk, carved on the outer rim liko a water wheel, is started off with a twist of the fingers in a shal-
low metal cup. As soon as it is fairly started a slightly conical tube, forming part of the outfit, is taken up and a strong current of air thoroby applied to the outer rim. It will spin almost indefinitely under the influence of this "cyclone."
*_
Total
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