Evening Republican, Volume 23, Number 312, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 31 December 1920 — BRIEF BANQUET BITS FOR BUSY RUGS [ARTICLE]

BRIEF BANQUET BITS FOR BUSY RUGS

One hundred 'A and seventeen gumpless gurhbos ‘sat themselves down along side Mr, Barnes’ running board to pay ap eating tribute to the football eleven of 1920 and to listen to the barrage of antiques laid down by those who had been called upon to make the supreme sacrifice by way of displaying theh lack of familiarity with Mr. Webster’s English. C. Arthur TuteUr and “Shorty” Collins had adjoining pews. “Shorty” brought his mouth organ along and gave selections between soup drinks. Arthur didn’t have to bring his; he always has it with him. ; Mr. Dunlap, who was second on \ the bill, wore s creamy cravat ere- ; ation which was maddening. Evi-; dently a Christmas present, but the banquet was no place to display it. We felt awfully sorry for Hugh Kirk when the toastmaster called upon Mm $0 talk about something 1 until which he was unfamiliar. His Adam’s Apple ran up and dawn his throat like a window blind. x Some folks thought he had lock jaw when a neighboring flapper toesed in a sponge retiring him from the limelight. He did got his mouth open long enough, however, to introduce the author to the yawning yapS. Toastmaster Honan produced i many loud smiles in his opening of- j feting when he asked how many present had at some time or other during the season called the referee an old grandma. Mr. Honan didn’t say old grandma, hot that'll have to do here because the linotype man has done time in church. Among those present was Joe ’ Blahs, the Cleveland Cyclone, who, is wintering at the Bachelor Apartments on S. Front street as the] guest of Junior , Benjamin. Mr. Blahs didn’t know what It was all,; about, but had a good time anyway. Simon Thompson wore his football cleats that he might maintain , his position at the table. The handicaps of a protruding chest and

battling a Barnes beef made the task of the rotund one a difficult feat. Toastmaster Honan wore hit monkey suit as scheduled and brought his short waisted son along. “Pansy” Ross go£ the go-by when a female person. walked out of the kitchen and pranced down the runway to the front door and out into the‘starry night, bearing a sign on her back containing the information that she. was going home. It didn't take, however, for the miracle manager kept right on with his anaesthetic.

Lot of Mr. Barnes' knives worked over time last night. There were no casualties registered. Wm. Trsub wss present and apparently enjoyed himself. Another person present was Harry Eger. Harry is following the lead of all the bon ton boys when it comes to hair dressing. His was slit in the center and washed down with herpicide. Moses Leopold's address was a thing of tragedy and he wobbled something awful in the closing innings. He had the sympathy of all the sobbing simps and at the close his keeper hurried him back to Ms cell while the remaining gcrope dropped their heads in sorrow. Billy Campbell and Peter Van Lear were the two most disappointed youngsters in Rensselaer Thursday night. Both had shagged water all season for the weary athletes and were looking forward to the banquet with the same keen anticipation as their elders. Pretty tough when a pair of healthy youngsters haVe to go without their bread. —-Oj kMore stiff bosomed shirts and hard collars saw the arc lights last night at one 'time than ever before in the history of the city. And so many there were who looked, comfortable in them, too. Told you it would be a success if we were there. Mrs. Flunk Woerner, who had been visiting relatives at Acton, returned home Friday. Mr. and Mrs. Clarence Mathews and son, LaVofto, of Wolcott, went to Chicago Friday to spend! the week-end wfttr erlatives.