Evening Republican, Volume 23, Number 305, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 22 December 1920 — BRIEF BANQUET BITS FOR BUSY BUGS [ARTICLE]

BRIEF BANQUET BITS FOR BUSY BUGS

The eighty-odd tickets placed on sale this morning are giving way before the clamoring fans like the final quart of prune whiskey at a barn dance. Two smacks will entitle a flapper to view the Barnes preparations at close range. —o— The doors of the pavilion will be thrown open to those with ringside seat at eight-thirty o’clock. —o — The banquet will be served in free-for-all, grab-as-you-can style, with the boarding house reach gentry having a distinct advantage over the less fortunate collection of short ■ arm artists. I Birds with store teeth will not be compelled to battle the steaks, but will be provided with soup and noodles. Noodle hounds are requested to enter the arena first that they may practice their calisthenics before the main bout. E. P. Honan, spike-tailed bennie and all, will be situated at the head of the table and will introduce the sleep producers of the evening. The author has condescended to be Present, which assures that the affair will be a success. Among the lesser lights at the carnival of eats will be ‘Tansy” Ross, who took the bulk of the grief during the 1920 season; C. A. Tuteur, the threeshell artist from Indianapolis, pulling the prodigal son stuff long enough to mooch a brace of free meals; Van R. Grant, the portly gent, who at one time lead the Athletics; Moses Leopold, Coach Parker, Clinton Colver, Charles Blue and son, Asab, Hugh Kirk, W. C. Babcock, whose football enthusiasm caused him to forget to go home for three days; D. S. Makeever, Gerald Hollingsworth, Dry Cleaner Tuteur and others too numerous to mention. The lady bugs are all peeved up over the slight handed them, but 'they can attend the cinemagraph or run their vacuum cleaners during the absence of their loved ones. Mr. Barnes is installing a rest room where the private may recline in peace between innings during the coat tail oratory of the high lights of the evening, while the latter drive one another to distraction with their Webster wallops. Firman Thompson, who to in charge of the banquet, has promised ticket purchasers protection against the glibe tongue of the talkative Mr. Tuteur. That canary will be selling the assembled mackerel chif-fon-lined caskets, tickets to last year’s poultry show and Butler Brothers corsets if they don t watch their step.

Can anyone remember way back when cash guests didn’t have to be punished with wind music from toe (rents who have been placed on toe toast bill? A jaxz orchestra will render delirious music between wind gales in an effort to drown out the soup music. Thank you. > * . . .1 , r Fresh oysters at the College Inn. The South Marion Consolidated school closed this morning, due to the appearance of scarlet fever in the neighborhood. The box social which was recently advertised will not be held. ' e Order ice cream Santa Clauses or bells for Xmas, Wright Brothers.