Evening Republican, Volume 23, Number 244, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 9 October 1920 — ON THE FUNNY SIDE [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

ON THE FUNNY SIDE

SELF-EFFACEMENT.

“Leonidas I” exclaimed Mrs. Meekton, “are you aware that I was reading my essay on politics aloud to your “Yes, my dear.” “But you went to sleep.” “Why not? You removed every doubt so thoroughly and solved every problem so completely that I saw no further reason for retaining per* sonal consciousness.” Another item. “This bill of yours—why, it makes my blood boil!” the indignant patient stormed. “Ah I” the man of medicine returned calmly, “in that case we must make a little change,” and, taking the bill he added the line: “To making blood boll and thereby sterilizing system, $25.” Painful Meeting. Bill —Just happened to run into an old friend downtown. Phil—Was he glad to see you? Bill—You bet not I smashed hie whole right fender.—Cornell .Widow. Smartness. “Don’t you think this is a smart gown?” asked the lady. “I do,” answered the gentleman. “Anything that looks especially foolish is spoken of as especially smart.” A Way of Theirs. “Bills have one queer quality.” “What is it?” “The more you contract them, the more they expand.”

Mr. Cheerup: Too bad you lost oo_ much money in that oil stock swindle. But brace up, man. Every cloud has a silver lining. Mr. Sappe: Yes, I’ve beard a rumor to that effect but I haven’t yet been offered any stock in the prospect. True. „ • f The road to fame , Is long and rough They only win Who’ve got the stuff. A Suggestion. “Do you really believe a wife with good cooking can pull the wool over her - "Just try some nice flannel cakes.’* Not Fastened to the Idea. “Is a wife bound to obey her husband t* “I must say I invent seen many who were tied down to the job.** Very Odd. “It seems strange that there should be so much industrial disturbance caused by coal.” “Yes, especially as by Its very nature it must always be a minor issue." Too Suggestive. “Why do dentists call their offices ‘dental parlors?’ ” “I suppose they think it would make their patients feel too bad if they called them drawing rooms.” Not Certain. “You know, my dear boy, we really gain by our trials in life.” “That depends altogether on what kind of lawyers we get to try them.” Cruel Comment. “Look at the engagement ring Will gave me. He has such taste. “Yes; all the girls he’s been engaged to admit that in his favor.” ' - - . ~ - Fitting Styles. “I see where they are making hats of shavings.” “They ought to be particularly ap> propriate to wooden heads.” Sometimes Difficult. Little Harry—Papa, what is polite* ness? Professor Broadhead — Politeness my son, is the art of not letting otter people know what you really think of them.— Stray Stories. $. t A New Breed. -The poet I pointed out to you at the dog show Is very peculiar M some ways. He has a perfect passion foe dactyls.” “Did he have any of 'em on exhibh tion > ■ . ■ . ..

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