Evening Republican, Volume 23, Number 210, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 31 August 1920 — LIFE’S LIGHTER SIDE [ARTICLE]

LIFE’S LIGHTER SIDE

v Capital Punishment. How _£an you remove the letter “A from the alphabet? By “B”-hepding It. —Boys’ Life. What Price the Fool? Kansas Paper—The Ladles’ Aid will hold another fool sale on Tuesday.— Boston Transcript. Not Enough Room. “Don’t take ycrar troubles to bed with you,” said the doctor. “I don’t, doc. , I sleep on a cot.” The November Storm. Ajax defied the lightning. “Better not stand a buckeye,” we warned him. Viewpoints. - Optimist—“ All, things come to him who waits.” Pessimist —“And they all come at once.” —Life. Its Condition. “Why do they allude to a baseball as a sphere?” “I suppose because It Is the whirled.” # A Thought. “What is your idea of a real platform?” “One whose planks are all real plunks." Salaries for Teachers. “Knowledge is power.” “And we ought to pay the people who run the power house.” No Wonder. “That lawyer came to a lame conclusion.” “Naturally, when he had such a halting argument.” Fortune in Apricot Stones.More than $1,250,000 is made every year from apricot atones in California, Nearly 7,000 tons of stones are obtained from the fruit, and from these the chemist extracts two one known as bitter oil of almonds, the other as new substitute for olive oil. A ton of stones produces materials worth almost S2OO. I ' Spiritual Spanking. “Willie.” exclaimed the young widow to her recalcitrant offspring, “if you don’t behave yourself and come in the house right away Til get out the ouija board and have your poor, dear papa give you a good scolding.”—American Legion Weekly. ’ » Two Views. “What glorious roses you haveF I exclaimed the optimist. . | “But don’t they attract a lot of hnssf" Queried the nessimist.