Evening Republican, Volume 23, Number 204, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 24 August 1920 — "Off Agin, On Agin" STRICKLAND W. GILLILAN [ARTICLE]

"Off Agin, On Agin" STRICKLAND W. GILLILAN

(Copyright.) NO CHANCE. I see, upon a printed slip, On my hotel room door. What would betide were I to skip Nor pay my little score. But nowhere In that quoted law. As I can see, b'jing, I’m told to bust that melnhost’s jaw When he inserts, his sting. It does not say that if the food is quite unfit to eat, I straight may trounce that robbery good. With willing fists and feet. It does not promise if the bed Is harder than the pave.v \ That I may swat him o’er the head And fit him for his grave. • It does not say that when the clerk Deceives me as to trains, I am to smash him in the smirk For being shy of brains. No, all the law is, is to Protect the hotel man. The trav'ler’s rights are mighty few— He’s scarce an also-ran! • • * The Gadfly. Some people think the gadfly is a real insect. The one we mean is the germ of gad, that stings everybody more or less. There are very few people In whose ears the gadfly has not buzzed and whose cuticle has not been punctured by his little probe. Travel is something people are supposed to do for pleasure. If some of the people we see traveling are doing so as a pleasant diversion from their regular life, we’d hate to board with them when they are home., There day-coach pilgrim* who carry a ghper bag Or a laundrypoke full of bananas, embalmed hen, doughnuts, jelly sandwiches and dill pickles from Passamaquoddy bay to the Golden Gate, drinking milky coffee in tubsful on the slightest provocation, sleeping with their clothes on (except their shoes) every night, and talking at the top of their voices every time they wake, taking care of eight small children that were born in a bogey; there are people who do this for fun!

It looks almost as funny to us as going and getting Inoculated with a boil just to have it to nurse. A person who could enjoy that sort of travel would be tickled to death with the toothache. While a trip to the dentist’s to have a jaw-feller yanked out would be the treat of a lifetime. But everybody wants to “go somewhere.” • The whole human race are busy little cups of tea. The lazy ones want to ride, of course, but they all want to go. The first thing a baby learns is “dde by-by.” The last thing the old tottery one wants to do is to get strong enough to be taken somewhere. We are all charter members of the Tribe of Gad. The gadfly didn’t miss one of us when he was around using his - ■