Evening Republican, Volume 23, Number 204, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 24 August 1920 — Peanut Pietro [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

Peanut Pietro

by KAYEM GRIER

LASA week was cat come leeva weeth me when my dog ees gonna way. Other night I play weeth heem for longa time and I feegure ees preety soft for da cat. Hees name ees Thomas when he was born and one my frlen say he gotta nine lives. But for way he no come home some night I tink he gotta nine wives, too. But dat cat ees getta bullsheveek idee someplace, I dunno. Other day frien maka me present of golda feesh for decorash een da house. But dat feesh ees lonesome too mooch. Seema like, he no gotta more frlen as da kaiser. Just swima like devil all day and no getta some place. Dat golda feesh and da cat no maka friens ver good. I dunno' for sure, but mebbe da feesh ees fraid leava da water and da cat ees fraid to go een. Seema like da cat ees jealous for da feesh. He jusa watcha da son-of-a-gun swima round all day. Mebbe he tink da feesh go out for walk when da cat no look. I dunno.

Mosta night da cat keepa one eye open and da feesh no go to bed too. Mebbe ees nlca feesh and no lika for go to bed when da cat ees look. So I skeedo da cat but data no maka deefrence weeth da feesh. I tlnnk ees pretty tough eef dat feesh ever have da family. He leeva een da glass house and eef leetle feesh trow rocks Uka leetle boys plenta queek da whola place go on da bum. My frien maka me present two days ago and today I no gotta feesh. T dunno, but mebbe dat cat tink lasa night was Friday and eata my gold feesh. But I no care ver mooch. I no Ilka to be a feesh, too—no more private as leeva weeth your wife’s family. Wot you tink?