Evening Republican, Volume 23, Number 198, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 17 August 1920 — Page 3

Population and Land.

The United States has a population of 88 persons to the square mile. In Denmark the population is 188.56 to the square mile. In France, a great agricultural country, there are 191; in the United Kingdom, 379; in AustriaHungary, 197, and in Switzerland, 237 persons to the square mile. Frederick 0. Howe, former commissioner of Immigration, estimated that if lands in the United States were cultivated as they are in other countries, and agriculture protected, the United States might have ten times as many farmers as how live upon the soil, while our population might be 500,000,000,000 or more. , J.. ,

His Special Gift

school Inspector visited one of the schools over which he bears rule, and made something of a speech to -the assembled children. "Now,” said the great man, “the thing that you want to keep In mind is that you should always seek to do some one thing better than anyone else can do it You can begin to do that right now. Tell me—is there anyone among you who can do that one thing better than anyone else?”— A youngster held up his hand. “And what Is it?” “I can read my own writing better than anyone else cad,” said the boy.

The Rent Hog.

“This is Mr.' Diogenes, I believe?" with a rising Inflection, said the stranger who had approached the phiredden Mal tub. “Yes,” responded the sage. “And no doubt you are the honest man for yhom I have been hunting, and, because I have overlooked you, you have come to ma£e yourself known?” “Not at all,” was the reply. “On the ensrtrary. I am the owner of . thia talk and am here to raise your rent 50 per cent"

Chinese “Gossips."

In China there is a very strange profession for women. It is carried on by the elderly ladles, who go the round of the best houses, announcing their cdmlng by beating a drum, and offering their services to amuse the lady of the house. This offer accepted,‘they sit down and tell the latest scandals and the newest stories and bits of gossip, and are rewarded at the rate of a few pennies per hour.

Not Always.

“Worth,” in proper names, as tn Kenllwdrth, Edgeworth, etc., signifies that the town stands on a tongue ot land.

The Clutch of Circumstance.

Post— My, but prices are high. Parker—Yes, It’s awfully hard to keep the wolf from the (lops of the automobiles. • '

About the cheapest way to settle the Mexican problem would be to move the oil-wells over to this side of the Rio Grande.—Des Moines News. You will observe that neither Presidential candidate has resigned his present job.—Associated Editors (Chicago).

GET FLOWERS for all •occasions at Osborne’s Greenhouse PHONE 439 802 E. Merritt St

z * \ I I t y K ’ «< A Breakfast That Satisfies Try eating plenty of plain or toasted Bread with your morning \ coffee. JTou will l&e it. Bread is your Beat Food Bat 'more of it ’Bread is the food of foods—-There ‘is no other like it for nourishing, invigorating qualities. . Good flour, plenty of yeast and milk mA salt giro the spseial Broad Good Bread —th. loaf al pm. 1 A Good Bakery 1 .. _ _ * — e । O 1 arzßßl

EXPLAINING THAT 30 CENTS

It, and the Clerk Gave Him ‘ t the Information. Champ Clark likes shirt* thaT have < small red-stripe. '-Not lOfag UTd he Went into the slTOp Of a “WSfiffilnflfon haberdasher to buy a dress shirt Selecting one r fie gave the clerk a |lO bill, and while waiting for Ms change wandered around looking at the shilts displayed. But let the former speaker tell us about It, says The Nation’s Business. “I found a fine shirt With smdll rbd stripes and I like to wear that kind. During the war you could notget a shirt with red stripes which would not fade. I said to the clerk: “ ‘What 1s the* price of that shtrtF "Three dollars.’ "’Give me that and take It outef the ten.’ “When he came baCk With ’the change he did not* have enough and I called his attention to It " ‘You are gouging me. What is that extra thirty cents for?’ “ ‘That,’ replied the clerk, ‘ls the sales tax that you d- — fools enacted np there in congress.’”

SCORE ONE FOR MRS. JONES

Noat Resort That Certainly Shodld Have Made Her Bettor Half Do Some Thinking. How he ever happened to do It, heaven Only knows, but Jones kedlly brought home a small box of candy and gave it to his wife with a lordly and gracious air. Mrs. Jones managed to overcome her astonishment sufficiently to thank him; but evidently Jones did not regard her expressions of appreciation as adequate to the occasion, for he observed: “I happened to? be with Smith when he gave his wife a present yesterday. Now, there’s a woman who can really show a man that she appreciates a thing! Her expressions of thanks were really charming.” “Doubtless, but consider how much practice she has,” Mrs. Jones responded sweetly. "

BROUGHT HIM TO THE POINT

Maldens Confession Was Something Moot Dilatory Lover Could Hardly Affect to Ignore. For many months he had been eating free suppers at her father’s expense and the fair Mabel thought it time he got a move on. One evening as they sat together In the parlor she carried out her little scheme. “Oh, how funny,” she cried suddenly, as she turned over the pages of the evening paper. “What is it?” he asked. “Why, here’s an advertisement in which it says, ‘No reasonable offer refused.’ ” “What’s odd about that?” asked the young man in surprise. “Oh, nothing,” she replied coyly, trying to raise a blush, “but those are my sentiments exactly.” Three weeks later the invitations. — Houston Post.

Burglary Is Not Profitable.

When one reads in the paper an account of a burglary where the thief succeeded In securing $5,000 to SIO,OOO worth of jewelry, one is apt to think that the spoils were probably worth the risk, but investigation has shown that thieves never realize anything like the full value -of their plunder. In England it was discovered that out of 468 burglaries reported in various parts of the kingdom the-proeeeds netted the principals an average of about $75 each. The value of W plunder was many times that figure. In addition to this, each one of the number had been Sent to jail for his crime.

The eternal Query.

Two fellow members of a club were having an indignation meeting and were comparing notes. Both had domestic strife. “Aren’t women the limit?” growled the first. “We husbands don’t know anything at all, and our wives know everything 1” “Well,” grumbled his companion in misery, “there’s, one thing my wife admits she doesn’t know.” “What on earth Is that?" “Why she married me I”

Open Became.

“Did you have any trouble in seeing that captain of industry whose time is reputed to be Werth almost a million a mlhute?” "None at aIL” “How did you contrive to get into bls private office?" "I stood just outside Hie door and engaged his secretary In a loud conversation about golf, in which I displayed aßsuperlor knowledge of the game.”

A Calculating Nature.

“Why did you refuse to take summer boarders this year?" "Tre been to town quite several times,” answered Oorntossel. "Tve about derided those city folks can’tafford to eat very hearty all win* tor and I don’t want to take ’em on when they’ve spent so much time savin’ up their appetites."

Just a Row.

“Did you ever try working the ouija board." “Yap" “Ever get anything out of it?" “Once. Got a family row. Ma aecuaed me of influencing it and i swore aba was making the thing move.”

THE EVENING MPCTMGAN, IND.

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