Evening Republican, Volume 23, Number 174, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 21 July 1920 — SCRAPS of HUMOR [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

SCRAPS of HUMOR

Superior Intelligence. “Why don’t you teach that dog to do some tricks?” “I have tried,” replied the man who lacks energy. “The dog won’t learn.” “Not enough intelligence?” “Too much. I can see by the expression of his face that dog doesn’t see any more sense in the tricks than I do.” v Let's Go. Flora—l see that several cities have forbidden the showing of Geisha Goldllock’s latest vamp picture. Fauna—Well, I’m not surprised. Her staff electrician told me that since they made the boudoir scene electric!* ty had no more shocks for him!— Film Fun. His Estate. Mrs. Knagg—My husband is not making the children wait for his death to come into their Inheritance from him. Mrs. Nexdoor —That’s nice. Will they get much? Mrs. Knaggs—Nothing but obstinate and quarrelsome dispositions. Sure Thing. "Don’t you think it is a frivolous life for women to make wax dolls of themselves?” „ “I should be inclined to consider It more of a cereoiis proposition.” Slight Results. “Did the flambuoyant evangelist have any success in his mission oi winning sinners?” “Well, the meeting place was ■ converted building.”

PERFECTLY SAFE. "I say. Jack, do you think I can safely ask your cousin to marry me ?” “Sure! She told me she wouldn’t marry you if there wasn’t another man on earth.”

A Man of Low Tone. The bass the fair soprano wooed, But suddenly did leave her; So she alleged when him she sued He was a bass deceiver. Its Condition. “That cemetery strike was a trivia! affair, wasn’t it?” “I hardly think so. Under any clr cumstances, it was bound to be * grave strike.” A R oast. Artist (showing latest picture)-rdt’i the best thing I ever did. Critic—Oh, well, you mustn’t let that discourage you.. r , ■ . * L. j '. . / r. - i Losing Experiment. “Did you have a hard time at th< hospital?” “I should say I had. I lost weight they gave me a weigh the first thing and they even took my temperature.’ Apropos, p Hampton—What are they going to call the first eugenic twins that were born In this town? Rhodes— Eugene and Eugenie. Her Redeeming Point “Your laundress seems to be a timid sort of woman.” “So she is. but she manages to put up a stiff front.”

Different Repasta. “At every meal my wife serves up a smite and a jest.” “The principal dish nfine gives me la tongue served with whine sauce." His Specialty, y There goes one of the most successful grafters in* the city.” . “Is he a politician?” “No; he’s a skin specialist” Oh, Fudge. “Omar wondered what the vintners bonght one-half so precious as the sluff they sold." ” “I know a man who outclasses them in value of products.” “As to how?” ? “He sells sand In large quantities." False Charge. “The prisoner is accused of uttering forged notes.” “The charge refutes Itself. The prisoner can’t utter anything. He is deaf and dumb."