Evening Republican, Volume 23, Number 170, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 16 July 1920 — ON THE FUNNY SIDE [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

ON THE FUNNY SIDE

POSITIVELY CRUEL. “I don’t know of any man who listens to a hard luck story with a more sympathetic air than Mr. Wadlelgh.” “Then he has a kind heart?” “No. It’s as hard as adamant He enjoys the discomfiture of the poor wretch who Is brusquely refused alms just when he Is flattering himself that he never did a better piece of acting In all his career as a panhandler.” — Birmingham Age-Herald. Had to Obey the Law. “Why did you let him »get away from you?” thundered the chief. “He —er —took a mean advantage of me,” replied the green detective. “He ran across the grass in the park, md—” “Why didn’t you follow?” “Well, there was a notice there. Keep off the grass!' “—Stray Stories.

CUTTING UP. Freight Auditor —Were you in on it when our directors cut the melon? Cashier —No. But I cut some figure when they cut the payroll. Tastes Differ. Mr. Sankey—You don’t like tomatoes, won’t eat them and are thus depriving yourself of much in life. If 1 were you I’d learn to eat them. Mrs. Sankey —But you don’t like rhubarb, John! “Oh, well, but’that’s not fit to eat” —London Answers. Necessary. Don’t get the notion in your .head That you can be a shirk. The world won't give you meat and bread Unless you give it work. In Doubt. “For a chap just engaged to such a lovely girl you-seem a bit gloomy.” “Well, I’m worried. You know Jessica is an enthusiast always. Once it was for horses, once for dogs, once prize poultry, once Angora cats. Now —am I a regular sweetheart or is she just taking up another ’animal fad?” Well-Trained Ones. “My son is very fond of trained animal exhibitions.” “He IS?” “Yes, especially of pony, balleta.” Catty Reply. “Are those curls of Annie’s natural?” “I should say they were. You can’t tell them from her own hair.”

JUST LIKE US. "That son of yours isn’t very bright, but he has a big appetite.” "Yes, I expect he’ll make a fine college athlete.” Looks Suspicious. He says it’s unaccountable, And still the fact Is there. That while his wife was at the beach The parrot learned to swear. - ■ Click Clique. Otis—Movie people are rather clannish, aren’t they? Chester —If they are, they come honestly by it. Even the camera has its own click ’.—Film Fuh. The Last Resort. “There’s one thing left. If this business venture of mine fails I know what I shall have to try next” “What’s that?” - — - — “I shall have to begin writing plays for the moving picture people.” One on the Editor. Fresh—l know more about this joke game than the editor does. Soph—That’s possible. Fresh —Sure; he thought the stuff I submitted was original.— Stanford Chaparral