Evening Republican, Volume 23, Number 164, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 9 July 1920 — IN ANOTHER KEY [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

IN ANOTHER KEY

Johnny paid his first visit to a farm the other day. All his life he had lived in the heart of a great city, and when he suddenly came in sight of a haystack, he stopped and gazed Earnestly at what appeared to him a new brand of architecture. “Say, Mr. Smith,” he remarked to the farmer, pointing to the haystack, “why don’t they have doors and windows in it?" “Doors and windows!” smiled the< farmer. “That ain’t a house, Johnny, that’s hay.” “Don’t try to josh me, Mr. Smith!” was the scornful rejoinder. “Don’t you suppose I know that hay don’t grow in lumps like that?”

“D’ye know, I think teacher c’n see behind her.” “Well, she said her eyes was go-' ing back on her.” Smile and Sneer. A smile Is like a blossom tossed Upon the path of Spring; A sneer is like the sudden frost That leaves it withering. Could Be Worse. “Cook, I don’t like to mention it, but the food disappears rather quickly in the kitchen!” “Well, mum, I admits I eats ’earty, but no one could call me gorgeous.” Rough on Them. “He’s always bpasting of his ancestors.” “Yep. ToO bad his grandchildren aren’t going to have any ancestors worth boasting about.”

Just in Time to Escape. Elsie: “What do you mean by saying that Doris is ‘more or less’ pretty?” Harry: “Well, she’s more pretty than most girls, but less pretty than you are I” —Stray Stories. No Life! No Life! Oil-Well, how did you find the old town when you went back? Can—All right, but it was unconscious.—Nebraska Awgwan. Logical Process. “My boat was arrested by the Incoming waves." “Then why- didn’t you bail her out?” The Better Way. Tom—Shall we live with your par* ents after we are married? Ethel—The question Is, can we live without them ? —London Answers.

BOTH CAN’T BE AHEAD. “His wife dresses right up to the minute.” “Yes, but she keeps him. throo i months behind on his bills. Something Learned. Appearances deceitful are We’ve come to understand— One cannot judge of a cigar By the gold upon the band. > The Reason. “I came within .an ace of winning the game.” "Then why didn’t you?” “Because the other fellow had thw ace.” Different Times. “The rich old coot doesn’t kick his son out in the snow as much as hs used to in the old doys.” “Well, today the son wouldn’t starve/ to slow music. Any rich man’s soot could qualify as a chauffeur.” Suspicious. Hubby—Yes, dear, bronze la * very tough and lasting material Why du you ask? Young Bride—Nothing, only Farmer Jones writes that he. is sending u» one of his finest bronze turkeys. j

COULDN’T FOOL THIS KID.

YOUNG PHILOSOPHY.