Evening Republican, Volume 23, Number 162, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 7 July 1920 — CURRENT WIT and HUMOR [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

CURRENT WIT and HUMOR

The Counsellor—What, you broke after having a hand in that big box job? I thought you fellows had a gentlemen’s agreement to share the loot The Yegg—We had. But I suspect some of the parties to it were no gentlemen. Her Reason. “I wish I had psychic powers." "Why so?” “Because I am crazy for a car, and then I could give my husband auto suggestions.” Modest. . Ethel —I understand she ,was very modest at her birthday. Helen—Well, I should say so; she didn’t have half as many candles as she ought to have had on her eake. - Intelligence. Doctor—Did you give the patient the insomnia medicine I ordered? Amateur Nurse —Yes, doctor, but he got so mad whenever I woke him up to give it to him. Where Mystery Reign*. Biggs—What do you usually eat in this restaurant? Higgs —won't ask me; ask the cook. I simply order from the menu. Natural Affinity. “Why is it that widow seems to attract the horsey element?” “Probably because she is a grass widow."

First Doctor —How are that patient’s nerves? Second Doctor —Fine; he can read all the headlines in the daily paper now without a tremor. Think of Others. When on the slippery street you set Your feet and get a twist, Think of what fun the others get; Just be an altruist. An Agreement. “The court gave.that convicted rascal a suspended sentence.” “So did the lynching mob. They banged him.” Not In the'Race. Belle—l wouldn’t marry the best man on earth. Nell —Of course, you wouldn’t. Somebody else long ago beat you to it. An Enthusiast. “Cleanliness can be carried too far.” “Impossible.” _ , — “It can. If I don’t stop her, my wife would scour the lettuce with soap." — One Assurance. “Do you think the tale Miss Flirty told you was made up on the face of It?” “Maybe not, but she was.” Often in One. Heck —My wife has a great fondness for pets; has yours? Peck —That depends on whether you refer to animals or the mood. Its Financial State. “That couple have just come back from their wedding trip dead broke.” “Ah! So the honeymoon has got to its last quarter.” K Exact Locality. Lawyer—Officer, did you. catch the prisoner in flagrante delictu? Policeman —No, sir; I caught him la the back alley. ■I —— Pertinent Illustration. “What have you there?" * ' “A booklet entitled, ’Short Cuts to Riches.’”. “Ah! I see there’s a mountain of dollars on the cover. To be consistent, there should be the picture of a penitentiary on the back.” . ■ a—i—,—M—» —- Why He Was Sent to Bed. “Pa. what is an anarchist?" “One who thinks there should be no government and no authority, my son.” “Then, pa, la ma an anarchist?"

HAD HIS DOUBT.

TEST OF NERVES.