Evening Republican, Volume 23, Number 152, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 24 June 1920 — "Off Agin, On Agin" [ARTICLE]

"Off Agin, On Agin"

(Copyright.) THOSE WINDOW ENVELOPES. Whene’er they hand my mail to me I look it over, quick, As anxious as the deuce, to see If fate has played a trick And sent me one with windowed side. The address showing through. .I’ve always groaned when those I’ve spied— • _ They tell me something’s due! It may be from the grocer man. It may be from the plumber; It may be for the lovely tan Top-coat I bought last summer. But whatsoever goods ’tis for. It makes me shudder still— Those things with that transparent door Always contain a bill. And so I look the letters o’er With fear down in my heart. One may be from some grouchy store Down in the busy matt. Such cowardice may be a sin. But I admit it still— Those envelopes with windows In Always contain a bill! * * * FINNIGIN FILOSOFY. Nearly iverybody in th* wurrld wud be honest if he thought th’ other feller wasn't gittin* ready t’ do *im. .*e • . HOW IT STARTED. There was a young feUow named Riker Who when asked of his girl, “Do you like her?" Said, “I’d give her my life!” Then his friend started strife By sneerlngly saying, “You piker!’’ • • • « Can It Be? Dear Offagin—ls it a fact that some of the Bulgarian officers refused to fight against Serbia and Russia because they called them the Balkin’ states ? _ — —— * « e FINNIGIN FILOSOFY. Minny a bonehead out av office is brighter than • shmart man in th* office —t’ hear th* bonehead tell ut. see Whence Came His Fear. “Why won’t you go with us to the ballet?” asked his roistering companions. “Because my father always used to chastise me with orchard switches, and I’ve been afraid of peach limbs ever since," replied the thoughtful young man. And they wondered for days and days what he could have meant 1 NOT WHITTIER’S. Of all mad words from bookkeeping men. The maddest are these: “Who’s had this pen?”