Evening Republican, Volume 23, Number 152, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 24 June 1920 — Peanut Pietro [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

Peanut Pietro

by KAYEM GRIER

Editor's Note.—Pietro’s misconception of the word "love” is apparent to those who are familiar with tennis. The word, as applied to that game, is commonly used in keeping score, and is equivalent to "Zero” or nothing. /•xTHER day leetle girl aska me: "Pietro, you kno& how play tennis?” I say no can play anyting only phoneegraph and da pinochle. Somatime try play da poker but no maka success. She say: “Well, I lika teacha you how play, dat game leetle bit, huh?” When she say gonna taka me down where da court ees I say no wanta go. I been court one time and ees costa me ten bucks maka hurry weeth da fleever. Anyway we go een place wot ees greata stuff for keepa da cheeken. Greata beega fence alia round weth leetle one eend da meedle —smalla fence ees sama stuff usa for catcha da feesh. She say “I geeva you racket, Pietro, for play weeth.” I aska “wot’s matter we gotta maka racket for play desa game?” I say too moocha noise maka me excite, so mebbe besta way ees play weethout da racket. She say, “Alla right, I am gonna serve.” I say eef she serve I dreenk eet, I tink mebbe she gonna serve somating weeth leetle keek een. I dunno._ Slie getta one side da fence and I getta other side. She knocka ball straighta my head and say, “Love feefateen.” I say feefateen to many for lova one time —no can do. She knocka one more ball and say, “Love tlrty.” I no say somating, but I feegure ees greata man eef lova tlrty all one time. Nexa ball she say, "Lova forty.” I dunno wot’s matter dat girl. I tink eef lova two, tree gotta hava plenty amblsh, but for love forty ees too moocha job for one man. After knocka two, three more ball my frlen holler “Game!” Right back I say, "Betta your life —anybody whosa lova Ssefateen or tlrty or forty one time gotta be game. Mebbe gotta be twins or Mormon to play dat game. I dunno. Wot you tink?