Evening Republican, Volume 23, Number 152, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 24 June 1920 — Rann-dom Reels [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

Rann-dom Reels

By HOWARD L. RANN

THE TIRE GUARANTEE TH® pneumatic tire guarantee 1J a mournful attempt to satisfy people who object to buying new tires every time they run over a beer bottle. This guarantee does not cost anything until the man who owns it tries to collect a new casing on the strength of a nine-inch blowout caused by driving over a pickle Jar. It then assumes

a threatening aspect, and has to be mollified by paying the list price, with express both ways added. When a new tire Is bought for cash, it Is guaranteed against various forms of disease, any one of which may sap its vitality and cause It to pop open In some unexpected place. It is also understood that the owner is to prop It up occasionally with air. It is difficult for a four-Inch tire to carry 3,800 pounds of installment-plan automobile and seven robust passengers on 60 pounds of air, without giving way at softie vital spot and spoiling an entire ■evening for all concerned. If an adjustment is not made at once, on the basis of a new casing and tube, the local dealer will lose one of the best time customers In town. The tire guarantee does not protect the man who allows the insidious sand blister to crawl into the casing through a stone bruise and eat its way down to the demountable rim without interference. There are two ways to treat th - sand blister. One Is to have it vul-

canized by some leisurely artisan, and the other is to open it up with a jackknife and wait for the grand finale with a tight grip on the steering wheel. Some tires are guaranteed longer than others, and will last for several years if not driven to excess. The best way E preserve tires is to drive slowly around the block once a week and then put the car to sleep on stilts over night. When a catalogue house tire has been run 15,000 miles without a puncture, it either pfoves that the owner stole It from a truck or is a massive and ornate liar. People would have less tire trouble if they paid less attention to the guarantee and more to the short, crisp warnings of the tire tester. The best kincToT a tire guarantee is a mlxfure of plain mule sense along with the ability to dodge between the three-cornered rocks which strew the highway. The man who sets his brakes at 30 miJes an hour and starts his car with a Jerk that would dislocate the neck of a prize wrestler doesn’t need a guarantee so much as he does a guardian ad litem. (Copyright.)

Tries to Collect a New Casing on the Strength of a Nine.lnch Blowout Caused by Running Over a Pickle