Evening Republican, Volume 23, Number 146, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 17 June 1920 — JUST A LITTLE SMILE [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

JUST A LITTLE SMILE

WORSE THAN “What’s the matter. old‘top? You look sick.” . , “I’ve just undergone a serious operation.” “Appendicitis?” "Worse than that I had my allowance \ cut off.” His Guess. Burrows—By the way, what was the denomination of that bill you loaned me? Lenders —Episcopalian, I imagine—it keeps Lent so welt Choice of Abodes. “I gotta have a place-to live.” “I understand,” said the real estate man, “and maybe I can fix you up. Now, which would you prefer, a portable shed vr a tent?” Not Guilty. Colonel Southerland —Well, Rastus, did the judge find you guilty of stealing chickens? Rastus —No, suh, colonel; I was released on s’plclon. Up in the Air. The Magistrate—What’s the charge against his man, officer? The Air Cop—He was speeding in a high-po racing plane and ran down a child’s goplane. Little Use. “He was much affected when I made him a loan. When I looked at him his face was working.” “Yes, that is the way he saves his hands.”

MISANTHROPIC. "When Brown is happy he trie* to sing." “Tea Some of us don’t care howmiserable we make others, so long as we're comfortable. Cross-Examination. The lawyer to the witness clings With questions deftly wrought. And makes him say a lot of things He never knew he thought. The Impossible. “It’s such a nice place where you moved, I hope you’ll like your new neighbors.” “I’m just sure I won’t They all own cheap cars.” —Browning’s Magasine. The Menu. "She certainly has a way of talking you down with cold sarcasm.” “Yes; a course, of tongue, as It were, served with chilly sauce.” His Status. “I knew a man once who ate a ten-pound turkey with trimmings on a bet.” “He must have been a man of consuming ambition.”

Cautious. Post—l say, old man, will you join our Big Brother club? Parker—Let’s see the girl Pm to be fraternal to first. —Judge. Showing It. "Bibbs is a live wire.” ,“I know he is. He touched me for ten dollars this morning and I was shocked.” Professional Duty. “Why did you leave the dentist you have been going to so long?” “I found he was getting on my nerves.” True. “Pa, what’s a scientific salesman?" “A scientific salesman is a fellow who knows when to quit annoying you.” ‘ Odious. - ’ Hill—McShorte has sold a poem to Scribblers, entitled an “Ode to a Fair Lady.” Hulls—Has he? Well, he is more competent to write verses entitled “Owed to a Landlady."—London TitBits. ‘ One Flaw. "She acts as though she thought she was the queen of Sheba.” “Oh, no. She would* never think she was anybody who had to go to somebody rise for wisdom. "